Chapter 199 [Bonus Chapter] Ripped Ass
The castle was more like a super-sized version of Eliza's Manor with at least fifteen floors. It looked like some sort of parliament building from one of my past lives.
There was a large anchor where Eliza's fountain was made from a flat silver metal that I suspected to be aluminum. There was also a beautiful rendition of Lagoona sitting atop it, which I found curious since they didn't allow her in the city.
Once we reached the entrance to the building, two guards that were standing at the double metal doors pulled them open slowly. Inside was a red carpet and dark wood walls that led down a single hall to a door that was about thirty feet forward.
"Keep moving, prisoner," The lead guard said from beside me on my right side.
"You know, I will remember this. I suggest you tone it down with all the name calling," I growled but walked forward with Mishal beside me.
I could feel Barry shaking on the top of my head as he sat between my ears. Bringing the Blue Bell with me probably wasn't the best idea, but I don't think she would have waited outside.
Once we reached the door, one of the guards stepped forward and opened the door to a silver elevator box. I moved to get in, but one of the women stopped Mishal.
"You are to be taken to the cells. The Queen has no desire to speak to an acolyte," The woman hissed, but I slapped her hand from Mishal, making the woman pull it back in pain.
"She goes with me," I said and glared around at the guards, daring for one of them to challenge me.
"Leave her be, the Queen has her own protection, and this one will not raise a hand to her. Kira is with the Queen," The head guard said in a condescending tone as she glared down the tip of her nose at Mishal.
I was really starting to get tired of all this attitude, but I kept my calm. I needed to keep my head cool, or I would end up making a mess of things.
I put an arm around Mishal's shoulder, pulled her close to my side, and then walked into the elevator. The head guard blew out a humph, and then ordered the women into the elevator with Mishal and me, but my stomach made a growl.
I hadn't really eaten this morning, but this didn't feel like a hungry gurgle.
"Are you hungry?" Mishal asked quietly as my stomach made another loud growl, and I put my hand to my stomach with a wince.
"No, I don't think that is it," I whispered harshly, and my body made another loud growl as the elevator door was closed. Some of the guards looked at me with disgusted looks, but they had no clue.
I could feel gas bubbles rolling through my abdomen, and I knew what was coming.
As soon as the elevator started to move, my ass cried out like a long sharp note from a saxophone. Every woman in the enclosed box jumped and then whirled on me with weapons pointed at me.
Then I ripped some more ass, lifting one leg a bit, so my ass didn't raspberry as bad, but it was like a machine gun in this enclosed space. The woman all stepped back, trying to get away from me, but we were in a silver box with very little to no ventilation.
There was no escape.
"Oh, for the love of all things, scared and wet! What is that horrible smell?!" The head guard cried out as her hand went over her nose, the rest of the guards doing the same.
In response, my ass cheeks let out one of those farts that come out with so much force that you think you might have torn something. The sound hit the women like a physical thing, pressing them further into the walls and peeling their eyes back with shock.
"Stop that!" The head guard ordered me, but there was no stopping this now.
The next one came out like a creaky barn door that was closed slowly, only to be slammed just before it closed. One of the girls started to dry heave, and another collapsed, holding her hand over her mouth.
"Help! We are being poisoned!" One woman screamed as she clawed at the elevator door, but that was when the mother of all farts blasted out like I had been holding it for five hundred lifetimes.
Everyone started to scream save for Mishal, whose face was now pressed firmly into my chest. I let another series of ass clappers go, and then I pulled in some magic and created an air bubble around just us.
Mishal gasped and then looked up at me with wild eyes.
"You could have told me that you were going to attack the women! This is not good!" Mishal told me, but I laughed.
"This is no attack. I just ate something that my stomach doesn't like. Don't you fart? You know, expel gas?" I asked curiously as the other woman screamed out and clawed at the door, trying to get out.
"If you are asking if our bodies make terrifying noises and smell like that, then then the answer is no. I did not know that the body could do such a thing!" Mishal exclaimed in shock, and I laughed as I watched the women claw at the door.
This was karmic retribution at its finest, and it had helped my mood. My guts also felt a lot better, but I wondered what made me so gassy.
Suddenly, the elevator came to a stop, and the door was opened. All the women but Mishal, who was still in my arms, fled from the elevator as a room full of dark-skinned women stared at me in horror.
This was a pretty good way to get things started, but I didn't think that another fart was going to smooth this over. I was going to have to get a bit more creative than that.