Because I Cannot Hurt You

Chapter 173 - Caihong's First Step

In a low-end bar, Liang stepped out of his car and hurriedly went inside. He threw a quick glance around and his gaze finally locked onto Zhiyuan's figure that was staggering at the bar counter. A woman, donned in a sexy revealing dress, was trying to flirt with him. Zhiyuan was ruthlessly pushing her away, but she wasn't giving up.

Liang choked in his saliva. He rushed to his best friend's side and smiled at the hooker. "I am sorry, but he is married."

Zhiyuan dazedly looked up to see a blurry figure.

The woman gleamed. "Oh another sexy man," she openly checked him out. "Are you available then, honey?" She winked.

Liang coughed hard at her bold provocation. "I am married too."

"Tsk." She clicked her tongue," she grudgingly went away, lamenting over losing two handsome men.

Liang stared at his best friend's horrible state. "Zhiyuan. What happened? Why are you so hell drunk? What's with this gloominess?"

Zhiyuan's voice broke as he spoke, "Liang…Liang…"

In the end, his voice turned too inaudible akin to a whisper. His eyes had turned slightly red that expressed how much he had cried. He looked vulnerable and utterly heartbroken. Liang stared at him and felt that his state was similar to when Caihong left him seven years back. No, it seemed even worse than before.

Liang took a seat beside him. He was somber as he quietly asked, "What happened, Zhi?"

A tear slid down the side of his eye. "Liang...she...she pushed me away…Xinyi pushed me away...she was crying…"

His eyes widened in shock. "Why?"

Zhiyuan lifted his head that swayed left and right in his drunken stupor. He grabbed the glass of whiskey and downed it in one go.

"Zhi, that is enough now. You have drunk too much," he snatched the glass away.

Zhiyuan laughed as his gaze brimmed wet with tears. "If I don't drink...then I cannot f-forget that...that I was rejected, Liang…"

Liang said, "Zhi, please tell me what happened from the beginning."

Zhiyuan tiredly and drunkenly somehow managed to recall the events, making Liang aghast. "You-you confessed to Xinyi!?"

Zhiyuan stiffened. "Confessed? *Hiccup*" he looked at Liang and self-deprecatingly smiled. "I was rejected before I could...say anything…she pushed me away before I could say...how much I love her…"

The fresh memory hurt his heart. "I love her, Liang. I *hiccup* love... Xinyi... But-but she said that...she doesn't want this…sh-she pushed me away and cried. She begged me to stop... She was... trembling and shaking...I-I don't know why...her figure *hiccup* was so small...I was wrong Liang…she doesn't love me…she doesn't love me…haha, I am rejected…"

Tears streamed down his cheeks and the mighty CEO, at this moment, felt crushed and aggrieved. The pain was insurmountable and the dream of living a loving life with Xinyi was smashed into smithereens.

"I was so arrogant *hiccup* I-I assumed that," he staggered, "that she will love me too...b-but she doesn't love me. I made her cry. She was so scared. Liang...I want her so badly...but she…" he was mumbling to himself.

Seeing his friend in grief made him feel horrible too. First, Caihong left him. And now, Xinyi didn't reciprocate his love. Was he destined to live a lonely life?

"I ruined everything. Now-now she looks guilty...as if it's her fault...but it's all mine. I... shouldn't have…I am so stupid, aren't I?"

"Zhi…" Liang didn't know how to console him. His strained expression said how much he wanted to say something that could comfort him.

"Zhi, everything will be fine. Nothing is ruined, okay? You are overthinking. First, you stop drinking and let's go home. You will make yourself sick like this."

"Don't...want to... Cannot face Xinyi…" he slurred.

Liang thought he was right. If Xinyi saw him in this state, it would be even more awkward. "Well then, come with me."

---

After Siying fell asleep, Xinyi blankly stared towards the door. Every time she thought that the door would open any moment and Zhiyuan would step in. But every time, her hopes got crushed.

First the ring and then the kiss. Was Zhiyuan really going to…

If it was true then her reaction…

Xinyi burst into tears and quietly sobbed. She got up and tremblingly took out her diary. With a heavy heart, she opened the page where she had jotted down her worst memory. Her shoulders trembled and she hugged the diary to her chest.

She knew that Zhiyuan was lying about work. She had hurt him and he couldn't bear to face her so he left. She wanted to call him, but she couldn't gather the strength. She didn't want to, but her trauma took over her and she pushed him away.

Everything was going so perfectly. The date would have ended on such a happy note. But that nightmare ruthlessly barged in her memory. Even though she wanted to reciprocate his feelings, an unknown force as if chained her from doing so.

Xinyi fiddled with her phone and hovered her finger over Zhiyuan's name to call him. But she couldn't.

Zhiyuan…

---

Zizi was rapidly pacing around her room, her body twitching and fidgeting in nervousness.

What just happened!?

"Yunru and my engagement. How did things reach this point? What should I do? Does Yunru even know?"

She stopped in her steps.

Yunru…

Zizi picked her phone and anxiously stared at his name in her contact list. She bit her lower lip and pressed his number.

He didn't pick the first time. She called again and this time he did. Zizi could hear him breathing heavily and the sound of his rapid footsteps.

She quickly said, "Yunru-"

"Princess, is it urgent? I am on a criminal's tail. I cannot lose his sight. I sort of cannot talk right now. Wait, are you safe?"

"Y-Yes."

"Where are you right now?"

"At home."

"That's great then," he said a moment later, "So like, is it urgent the thing you want to talk about?"

Zizi hesitated. She couldn't talk about such an important thing if he was so busy.

"...No."

"Then is it okay if we catch up later?"

"Yeah…"

"Thanks," he hung up after that.

Zizi sat on the bed, defeated.

What should I do?

She could still go to Han Huizhong and clarify everything. But every time, something stopped her. Everything would end once she tells the truth.

That feeling of ending everything between them ripped her heart in melancholy and pain. She felt in a mess. She wanted to feel happy. But the inevitable truth would always bring tears to her eyes.

She clutched the bedsheet. A tear plopped on her hand. "Does it really...have to end like this?"

---

Zhu villa.

Where Xinyi, Zhiyuan, and Zizi were anxious about their own circumstances, Caihong was in a similar situation. That day at Natsukashi, she decided to give a chance to herself and her family. But she didn't know how. For the last few days, she was confused about what to do. The seven years of distance made it difficult to get a starting point.

And so almost a week passed with her doing nothing. But not tonight.

A small head popped in from behind a pillar, having two pigtails on her head. "Mama."

Caihong glanced at Chyou. She straightened up.

The little girl trotted at her side and asked as her big sparkling eyes shone questioningly. "Why is Mama so worried? I will help with Mama's work!"

Caihong blinked her eyes. Unknowingly, a soft smile curved her lips. Chyou's expression brightened even more, seeing the warmth in her eyes that she never saw before.

Caihong slowly raised her hand towards her head. She hesitated for a moment but then she finally gently placed it, patting her. "Is that so?"

Chyou was visibly stunned. Her mouth opened in a wide O and she gaped at her. "Mama is patting me! Chyou is really happy!" She grinned.

Even the maids looked at her in shock. They were sure that Chyou would get another scolding for approaching Caihong. But not only did she not admonish her, she even patted her head like a loving mother!

Madam has changed! She had even...

Just at that time, Xiaosi entered the villa and her glance fell on the mother-daughter pair. He froze and he had to blink his eyes several times to check if he was dreaming.

Caihong was smiling at Chyou.

He dazedly walked towards them, his eyes never leaving Caihong.

She felt somebody approach and she glanced up to see Xiaosi staring at her unblinkingly. She immediately got up.

"Dada!" Chyou chirped and hugged his leg. "Dada! Mama smiled at me!"

He softly smiled at her and ruffled her head. "Chyou."

He looked back at Caihong and tilted his head. Caihong cleared her throat and looked left and right before she finally said, "That...I…"

Her heart pounded in her chest loudly.

Why am I feeling so nervous?

"I-I have made d-dinner tonight. Will you e-eat with me?"

Xiaosi widened his eyes. "Huh?"