Chapter 316 - The Rejection!
The people were murmuring things and the festival was probably just about to start pretty soon.
Alisa stood in front of me. She looked directly in my eyes and didn't blink. "I can't really explain. I love you. I don't really have any reasons for it." She was speaking normally and yet, there was some sort of nervousness in those words and perhaps warmth. "When I think about you, my heart flutters, when I get near you, my heart beats faster and when I'm really near you, I almost get too hot. Well, I know how to control my feelings so I might-" She really got close to me and held my hand over her chest. "I really do love you."
Her chest was soft but- there was a different reason she was holding my hand over her chest. The reason- her heart. It was beating very fast.
The sound of the world felt muffled. I could feel the warmth radiating from her. She was serious.
I moved my hand. "Alright. Since you were sincere enough to tell me, I'll give you an honest answer." I paused to take a look at her face and she was just staying quiet, waiting for my answer. I took a very deep breath. "I love you too- but as a sister. I don't think I can love you the same way I love Lianne. She was my savior and-" I paused and snorted. "No, that's not it. I might actually have a thing for elves: Lianne, in particular. They betrayed me, used me, and yet, whenever I see Lianne, I forget all her kind did to me. Maybe it's not really about her being an elf, it's just-my heart yearns for her. I can't see you the same way. So, I'm sorry."
Alisa looked down without saying a word. Her ears kind of bent down.
"You've had your shot, now move aside." Ve walked this way.
"No, wait," Alisa spoke softly and looked up at me, tears welling up. "I already knew that. But-" She hugged me. "Thanks for being honest. I've lived a long time. But you were my first love. As mother said, this really was a bittersweet experience." She buried her face in my chest. And after a brief moment moved aside, totally composed. She had a smile- a very painful smile.
My heart stung. This pain was new- it didn't feel like any pain I'd ever felt before. This was really something else, and I didn't know what it was.
Now, Ve stood in front of me. "As I said before, I don't intend on intruding on your relationship with the elf, however, I do possess feelings for you, that won't change." She was also serious. She was fully prepared to be shot down and she knew I'd probably shoot her down but- but she was willing to take the risk and she was willing to stake her pride.
And I had to respond honestly to that. "I'm sorry but, you are a dear friend to me. I cannot give you any more than that." I'd already thought about this before. I gave it a long-long thought. "Can we just stay friends?"
She grinned, very forced. Even her eyes shimmered. "It's okay, I can respect that." She lifted her fist and held it in front of me, waiting.
I guess she wanted a fist bump- which we did a second later and she moved back.
My heart felt pained again. This wasn't a stabbing pain and my chest felt weird. I couldn't really tell what this was.
It was finally Biteria's turn.
But she couldn't speak. She just stood in front of me, eyes leaking. She hugged me, bit me lightly on my ear, and moved back without a word. The whole thing lasted no more than a minute.
I guess she understood me without a word.
None of the three cried. And yet, I was the one who felt like crying- I didn't even know why.
That left- "Don't look at me. I don't feel anything for you. Our deal was that I help you and you get me the land, that's all," The half-elf said.
It was a bit quiet. I guess the festival was finally about to start. It turned dark before I'd even realized it.
"Fair enough." I smiled.
She also smiled and the rest did too. But Alisa, Ve, and Biteria- all three of them had shimmering eyes. It was too painful to watch.
But I was the reason. I was their pain…
I'd been rejected before once in my life. I knew how hard it was to get rejected but- I didn't want to play with their feelings. I was already engaged with Lianne, and I wanted to live with her. I personally took Viola's responsibility as I was the one who killed her father. But these three, I couldn't take theirs. After all, I was the type who could only love one person wholly. I didn't possess the heart to fall in love with many at a time. I couldn't treat them equally, I couldn't treat them fairly.
I was going to die soon whether I liked it or not. So binding them to me was the last thing I wanted.
Being insincere and hurting their feelings was something that I didn't want to do either. After all, I really treasured them as my friends. I did love them, just not in a romantic way. And they had every right to know that.
And they had every right to hate me or condemn me for that.
"It's beginning," The half-elf said.
A single lamp floated up in the sky, the speed was a lot more than typical flying lamps.
It went up and up, and up and after a brief moment, exploded in spectacular colors: red, green, aqua, purple, all sorts of colors. The sun had set and there were plenty of stars in the sky. So the colors were really amazing. And the sound was kind of nostalgic. A muffled explosion.
More and more lamps floated up and there were more blasts: these could put the fireworks of my world to shame.
I looked down and the people were just getting started.
There were all sorts of sizes and I could finally understand why the half-elf said that thing about being lonely.
I was surrounded by my friends and yet, I felt lonely as I watched the kids and the people below laugh and look up at the sky with such enjoyment: perhaps it was because of the atmosphere I just created. My companions probably felt the same. But their pain was probably much greater than mine. 'Maybe I shouldn't have had this conversation tonight…' Maybe I should have just pretended to be ignorant and took everything to my grave.
Maybe….
'Fireworks…. Subject… change…' Actually, that gave me an idea. I was pretty good at magic right now, so, I condensed a bit of light and threw it up at the sky. It went high and exploded a second later. It didn't have fancy colors but it was a pretty bright blast.
"HMPH!" Alisa puffed up her chest. "Wimp!" She condensed a ball of ice and threw it high! "This is how it's done."
And a second later, the sky was lit with intricate ice and snow shapes. The snow never really came down but strangely the ice actually refracted light and it was even more beautiful than the exploding lamps.
It really was beautiful.
The general people were actually in awe. But they kept on sending lamps up. Even the big ones, the monster ones too!
"Don't worry, I've got more!" Besides, I knew how light worked. I couldn't control the colors with the wavelengths but- I could definitely give it a shot!
"I'll give it a go as well!" Ve also condensed something- a ball of fire- in her mouth. She threw it up, literally.
And this one was like a literal firework, exploding with fierce sound and light.
Mine also went up and this time instead of just being a bright light, it also had subzones like a rainbow. It was night, so seeing all the colors was a chore. Still nowhere near Alisa's level though.
"I'll pass. I'll end up poisoning everyone." The half-elf giggled.
Biteria purred and threw something at the sky. I couldn't see it but when it exploded it covered everything in darkness for three whole seconds.
All of us looked at each other in shock. "Well, I did say she had dark affinity," Ve said.
And a second later, we all just laughed, throwing more balls at the sky and enjoying the night.
The floating monster lamps were so big and bright that they made ours look like toys. We sure didn't stop though. Each new one was better than the last. Alisa was still always ahead though.
I knew my companions were just putting up a front. The pain of getting rejected wasn't something they could just get over a few laughs. And yet, they were keeping everything in. I really loved my friends, and I was blessed to have them.
So, even if I was pretending, I wanted to enjoy this night and I wanted to be their friends through thick and thin.
After all, I didn't have long.. And they deserved better.