Chapter 123: Routine
What should I have done differently? That was Simon’s first thought when he felt himself return to life on his lumpy bed in the cabin before he even opened his eyes.
It had been a great run. In many ways it had been his best run ever, but the ending left him feeling unsatisfied, not to mention that he could feel that he’d become soft and weak all over again.
During his most recent run, he’d spent the better part of a year in the Pit that time. He’d become strong and capable. By turns he’d been a hero, a hermit, and a healer. He’d almost become a serial killer.
Now he was just… Simon, which was simply disappointing.
But before he got to the business of living, and even before he talked to the mirror to record everything before he forgot and became just plain Simon once more, he reflected on whether or not he should have done anything differently, and eventually, even though he’d met such a tragic end, he decided that he’d done everything he could.
Once that was done, he got up, rekindled the fire in the hearth, and immediately started cooking his sausages while he had a long conversation with the mirror about everything he’d done. Once he’d eaten and told it every last detail about the plague, the shipwreck and spider city, he finally asked, “Show me which levels are currently accessible.”
‘Level 1 - Rats in the root cellar
Level 4 - Skeletons in a crypt
Level 6 - Zombies in an inn
Level 10 - Fire elementals in IonarLevel 13 - A demon in a church
Level 23 - The Sea Seraph
Level 25 - Black swarmer on a farm
Level 27 - Centaurs near Crowvar
Level 28 - Poisoned Oasis
Level 29 - Cultists in a village
Level 31 - Dragon in the mountains’
“So, 20 levels down, wait, I thought it was 19?” he said to himself, as he started counting the levels off on his fingers.
“Ohhhhhh,” he said finally, “I forgot the trap level. I guess I’m broke now.” He would miss that easy source of gold, but he would not miss the bats, not even a little bit.
“6 levels, out of 20… so of all the levels I’ve completed, I did like a third of those on this run?” he said, chatting with himself. The mirror started to answer the question, but Simon ignored it. “That’s fan-fucking-tastic. So, 20 down, 79 levels to go.”
He nodded at that as he looked down at himself. “79 levels to the bottom of the pit, and 79 pounds to lose. We could make this a reality show, it would need a catchier title, though.” Simon sighed with the hint of a smile still on his face. “Okay, maybe not 79. That’s a little much.”
After that, he got up and got moving. First, he decided to go get fresh water from the river to save the wine. Then, instead of going fishing because he was sick to death of eating fish, he went to chop wood so that he could start building up at least a little stamina while he tried to decide what to do next.
The most obvious choices were dealing with level 4 and level 6. At this point he was almost completely sure that if he took off the skeleton knight’s breastplate he’d find that strange obsidian heart, and while he’d study it of course, he wasn’t sure he wanted to destroy it just yet because when it came time to try his hand at that fire elemental again, he was pretty sure he was going to want that icy sword.
“Even if it is bringing a sword to a bazooka fight,” he grunted as he brought the axe down again, hard.
Of course, the question answered itself. If he wasn’t going to take out the skeleton knight level just yet, then he was going to be headed to Schwarzenbruck again, whether he liked it or not.
“I mean, I could try to finally figure out what the deal is with level 2 and the rats, or try to hike out of here again,” he said to himself as he finally took a rest break in the shade of a nearby tree. “Or maybe I could just wait around here and see who trashes the place before level 2 happens.”
Waiting around here forever wasn’t really an option as far as he was concerned because, eventually, he was going to run out of food. He also didn't really like the idea of going on a hike for no reason and trying to find civilization from here because even after he found it, he’d still have to hike all the way back.
“At least it would get me in shape,” he said, trying to look on the bright side.
In the end, his thoughts drifted back to level 2. What could the purpose of that be? To kill the rats? He’d done that. To take the food with him? He’d done that, too.
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A frequently occurring theme in the pit was disease, and rats were pretty tied in to that, generally. Could they be diseased somehow?
He was no expert, but he knew that they could have fleas that transmitted nasty stuff like the bubonic plague, and they could also bite and give you rabies, but weren’t there a couple diseases that were spread by inhaling their shit, or was that cats? He couldn’t remember, but afterward, he decided that he should probably just burn the whole thing down, just to be safe.
“Not the cabin, though,” he corrected himself. “The goblins probably do that eventually, and they did it once with me in it, so that’s not enough. I would have to fill the basement with fire without burning myself too badly in the process.”
That was doable, though, wasn’t it? Especially if he tossed some firewood down there beforehand. Maybe it wasn’t even their shit, he decided after he got up and started cutting wood again. Maybe it was their little rat babies in their little rat nest. He had no idea. He just knew that he wanted to complete it so that he could keep moving forward.
At this point, as far as he was concerned, every level left uncompleted was one more chance for the Goddess’s plan and, by extension, the Goddess herself to fuck with him. Didn’t kill the rats on level two? Sorry, all the plague levels have changed. Do it again. Skeletons still alive? Well, then, I guess you have to fight the Peloponnesian war all over again.
“What the hell even is a Peloponnesian,” he asked himself. He had no answers, though. It was just a funny word he’d learned in high school at this point, and high school was a distant memory after everything he’d been through.
Simon spent the rest of his daylight sweating and working, though even he knew he was mostly just looking for anything to do that didn’t involve thinking about meeting with Freya again. In principle, he was okay with the idea, but in reality, he was more than a little concerned about what would happen to his mental state if he saw her hanging around with new friends or, worse, a new man.
So, after all that was done, he took a mercifully quick dip in the cold stream, and then he went back to his cabin and barred the door for the night to avoid any unexpected guests. Once that was done he sat down with his favorite least favorite meal of bread, cheese, and wine and looked to the mirror.
“Alright, mirror, let's see my character sheet,” he said with a mouthful of bread. “Let’s see what damage I did to myself this run.”
‘Name: Simon Jackoby
Level: 31
Deaths: 39
Experience Points: -912,358
Skills: Agriculture [Below Average], Archery [Average], Armor (light) [Great], Armor (heavy) [Below Average], Armor (medium) [Average], Athletics [Average], Baking [Poor], Cook [Above Average], Craft [Average], Deception [Average], Escape [Poor], Fishing [Above Average], Healing [Above Average], Investigate [Good], Maces [Average], Ride [Average], Search [Average], Sneak [Above Average], Spears [Average], Spell Casting [Good], Steal [Poor], Swimming [Above Average], and Swords [Great].
Words of Power: Gervuul (greater) Meiren (fire) Aufvarum (minor) Hyakk (healing) Vrazig (lightning) Dnarth (distant) Oonbetit (force) Zyvon (transfer) Gelthic (ice) Karesh (protection) Uuvellum (boundary) Barom (light) Delzam (cure)’
His character sheet appeared on the screen in small glowing blue letters like always, and he studied them for several minutes before he said anything else. He’d definitely taken a big bite out of his negative experience points last run.
He couldn’t recall the previous number, but it had to be at least thirty or forty thousand. So he just needed like 30 more runs like that, and he’d be back in the positives.
The thing was, he wasn’t certain that he’d still be here in thirty more runs. Even if he just cleared three levels at a shot going forward, he’d be done before then.
“Wouldn’t that be ironic,” he said to himself. “I beat the pit, but I don’t have the experience to become a human again, so she makes me a damn Koala anyway.”
He laughed at that, and made a note that he should probably take things a little slower and spend more time helping people so he could get his experience situation handled in the near future. Would that work? Probably. He probably could have solved the problem by just spending the rest of his life healing people in Abrese.
He wasn’t sure if he would have enjoyed that or not, ultimately, but there was no denying it would have been a good deed and would have done wonder’s for his experience or karma or whatever it was. As he laid back on his bed and folded his arms under his head, he said quietly to himself, “Maybe I should just, settle down somewhere for a while. You know, kill a king, rule a kingdom marry a nice princess, whatever.”
He laughed at that, of course, but he probably could have found some noble’s daughter to marry after he’d ended the ghosts plaguing Darndelle. There was a good reason he didn’t, though. Once he put down roots, it would be a lot harder to keep going, and what could be sadder than living the same life over and over again, trying to reclaim what he’d lost?
No, he was going to have to find some way to spend some downtime between levels without proposing to the first girl who looked at him. He wasn’t sure he could cope with the idea of running around the world on the lookout for his kids and grandkids. That could get weird pretty quick, and there was no telling how just that one detail could screw up future levels.
Those were the thoughts that Simon fell asleep to, but he found no answers, not even in his dreams.