Depthless Hunger

Kai's eyes were open and he honestly wasn't sure if he'd ever closed them. He didn't feel exhausted - he was burning with nervous energy. Despite the terrible night spent thinking, his feelings were still a tangled mess. After talking nonsense about being a real man and making a decision, he had no idea what he was going to say.

But he was out of time. The night sky was beginning to crack outside his window, so the altar would be charged soon. And despite the emotional aspect, he thought they did have to use it. They were likely still being hunted and their opponents were too dangerous for them to ignore an obvious advantage.

During the night he hadn't come up with any real solutions, but he did reflect on all the things he knew about Cloudspire and sexual magic, and as a result he thought he understood Zae Zin Nim better. She had long been terrified that her womanhood and virginity would be taken and harvested according to the methods of dual cultivation that still seemed strange to him. Her rush toward the Kama Altar had been her escape from all those fears, and a display of trust in him.

And he could understand Omilaena. Always supporting them even as she watched their clumsy relationship growing closer, expecting them to drift away from her. She'd been direct about what she wanted, but she'd remained distant, as if she never expected him to choose her. The fatalism he'd seen in her eyes the previous night cut deep.

Kai slowly got to his feet and walked across the altar chambers, more like approaching an execution than an event that was supposed to be happy.

No one was in the room Zae Zin Nim had chosen. He blinked a few times, his mind not fully engaged, then he turned to find Omilaena's room. When he reached the door and pulled aside the curtain, he just stared for a while.

Zae Zin Nim and Omilaena were sitting together on the stone bed, kissing.

He knew he must be staring and forced himself to back away. Of all the scenarios he'd imagined during the long night, that had never been one of them. But now that he considered it, wasn't that just ignorant of him? The two of them had been traveling together nearly as long, and after their angry initial encounters, they'd become increasingly intimate. Omilaena could talk to Zae Zin Nim about these things and understand in a way that he never could.

Maybe this was even for the best. Kai decided to walk away and not think about it for-

When he reluctantly turned back, he found them both sitting apart now, watching him. "What? You made your choice, so-"

"That's not what's happening," Omilaena said, and he saw a whisper of her old smirk. "We just wanted to be sure this would work."

"Huh?" Kai stared at her, but her face betrayed nothing. Meanwhile, Zae Zin Nim was blushing and playing with her hands in her lap, and now she finally spoke up.

"I... I grew up seeing my father's harem and how terrible it was. I told myself that I would never be part of one, never let myself be used that way. But..." Her eyes shifted up to him carefully. "But maybe I could marry two people."

Some part of his mind had known things might be leading there, but his thick-headed emotions still reeled. "What does that... can three people even get married?"

"Who the fuck is going to stop us?" Omilaena asked, her smirk emerging fully. "Both of you are so stodgy about this sort of thing. Isn't what matters that we care about each other? You said that you wanted us to keep traveling together. Well, I agree. And we can."

"I really didn't..." Kai shook his head and realized that he was smiling. This wasn't a compromise, it was a solution. One he'd never imagined voicing himself, but if... "Yes. What I should be saying is 'yes'. Obviously if you'll have me, I'd be an idiot not to."

"Good." Zae Zin Nim nodded in satisfaction and he saw some of the tension ease out of her back.

"This means we're faithful to one another, right?" Kai felt like the question was awkward and vulnerable, but these were two of the only people in the world he was willing to show that vulnerability. "Because I had a bad experience... I don't want to seem possessive, but I want this to be a commitment."

"Of course!" Zae Zin Nim placed her hands on her knees somberly. "This is a solemn bond. None of us would break it... right?"

She turned to look at Omilaena. Kai's head swiveled other to her as well. The other woman sat back and clutched her heart. "Why are you looking at me? What had I ever done to make you think I might possibly-"

"You!" Zae Zin Nim slapped at Omilaena's arm. "No joking! You can't go around behaving like before. If we're getting married, I take those vows very, very seriously."

"Not even any flirting?" Omilaena asked coyly. It was like their old teasing, but there was a new current underneath it. "What if the only way for us to gain an advantage is for me to flirt with someone?"

Zae Zin Nim frowned, then said quietly, "If you don't mean it, I guess it's okay." Then her eyes shifted up to his, achingly sincere. "And you... you can't change. I want all three of us to be happy together but you can't turn into all the terrible men I've seen."

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"Of course not." Kai swept down onto one knee and took a hand from each woman, then kissed them together. "I know we're all agreed, but where I come from you have to ask... will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Zae Zin Nim and Omilaena answered at the same time, with very different tones but the same happiness. They were both smiling and he had the feeling he had the same stupid grin on his face.

The moment broke when he grabbed them both and pulled them into an embrace, taking their feet off the ground. They hugged back and the three of them were wrapped together, finally at peace. For the first time, he didn't feel guilty about enjoying their bodies next to his... but that also brought to mind a lot of other questions. Ones that were simultaneously exciting, nerve wracking, and confusing.

"Uh..." Kai set them down, and reality set in at the same time. "What do we do now? Does the Kama Altar even work with three people?"

Omilaena took a step back and sighed, but it wasn't as heavy as before. "As much as I'd like to jump into bed with the two of you," she said, "I think that would be too much for poor virgin Zae Zin Nim."

"Please be patient," Zae Zin Nim said with a stiff little bow. "I've been told all of this is indecent and vulgar my entire life. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to adjust now, but... I will need a little more time."

"And to answer your question," Omilaena continued with a pat on her shoulder, "the Kama Altar and the intended rituals only work for couples. But we talked about this: I'll stay back and trust you two not to forget about me. Once Zae Zin Nim has finally resolved all that incipient energy, we can figure out the rest without worrying about rituals and techniques."

"Right. Good." Zae Zin Nim stared up at him, again uncertain. "Was this... enough time for your feelings? Because I... I think I really want this."

Kai leaned in to kiss her, and though she squirmed a little, she didn't pull away. "Take time to get ready and we'll do everything properly," he told her quietly. She nodded eagerly and then rushed from the room.

In her absence Kai felt his happiness give way to a bit of confusion. "Is there really some big ritual?" he asked Omilaena. "I hear about this dual cultivation stuff, but I don't really know anything about it. I was hoping our first time would be more... you know, intimate."

"Don't worry, the preparation and the altar do almost all the work. Just don't pick the wrong hole." Omilaena's mocking tone vanished and she gripped his shoulder with a serious expression. "Kai, that girl knows nothing. She thinks she does, but she doesn't. I'm trusting you to be gentle with her."

"Would I hurt our wife?" he asked with his best imitation of her smirk. Omilaena's expression relaxed and he leaned in to kiss her.

Not a stolen kiss this time, not driven by any control or chakra technique. She kissed back fiercely, her teeth biting his lip and then her tongue exploring his mouth. Kai tried to kiss her hard enough that she wouldn't fear that they'd abandon her and he wasn't sure he was successful, but it felt amazing. Eventually she pulled back and handed him two small pills.

"Final chakra preparation and a contraceptive, but nothing else," she said. "You're probably going to get into your own head about the ritual parts, but the Kama Altar can't influence you. Relax and... have fun, I guess. Fuck, that feels weird to say."

There was a little more ritual than that: Kai cleaned himself in one of the pools and then put on a new robe. When he entered the central chamber, he had to climb up the steep stairs to what looked like a bed of white and gold cloth. It lay underneath the crystal dome, rendering the entire chamber in surreal colors as if this wasn't real life.

But then Zae Zin Nim climbed the opposite stairs, smiling at him, and it all felt very real.

.

..

.

A long time ago in Krysal, Omilaena had imagined what it would be like to get Kai and Zae Zin Nim together. It would have been hot, but she realized now that it would have been hollow. She'd always dismissed those who went on about love, and she still wasn't crazy with the soft emotions they were, yet now when she imagined all three of them together, the vision was transformed.

Of course, she was stuck outside on her lonesome for now. She was sorely tempted to watch somehow, which she supposed wouldn't technically be wrong, but they deserved their privacy. There would be time for everything else later.

It still didn't feel quite real.

Omilaena wandered away from the central chambers to try to clear her mind. If she had been trying to reach this moment from the beginning, she had made an absurd number of mistakes with both of them. And yet somehow, even after getting a clear idea of the kind of person she was, they had accepted her.

Actually checking in might be inappropriate, but she couldn't help but notice the chakra. Zae Zin Nim had spent so much of her life building up yin energy, then feminine chakra, and now it was finally becoming what she'd always wanted. Kai hadn't done the same training, except indirectly for the Savage Heart, but he seemed to be holding up his end with the yang side. They'd be fine in terms of power.

To occupy her mind with thoughts other than the two of them fucking, Omilaena traced the chakra running through the entire building. It seemed to flow down the sides along load-bearing pillars, then up the central column to the Kama Altar itself. There was something unstable about it now and some of the monks were moving about uncertainly, so she went to look.

The monks were peering around a heavily carved stone that was part of the altar's foundation. When they saw her they went silent and the leader they'd met the previous night approached.

"This is absurd!" he said. "They're... they're absorbing all the Kama Altar's chakra! This isn't supposed to happen!"

"Heh, good for them." Omilaena put a hand on the man's shoulder and guided him away. "My young friends have been waiting a very long time for this. Surely there's no rule against taking what they can?"

"Well, not as such, but the other couples..."

"Can wait another day. Does the Kama Altar take donations? I wanted to give you a token of thanks, and a little apology for any trouble we may have caused."

She left the monks with a generous donation, but that still left her with time to burn. The other two been going a long time and there had to be limits, since she had to imagine Kai would give Zae Zin Nim time to adjust. Oh, she could imagine it.

Instead she wandered outside the altar's building. The fresh air was bracing and she shook off the affectionate mood that had surrounded her ever since the confessions. Things might have gone well, but that didn't remove the necessity of being logical and careful.

As she pushed her senses out as far as she could, Omilaena formed her pipe again. There was no need for the affectation, and she was just breathing her own smoke, but it calmed her. She put it to her lips and almost took a breath, then fumbled it as her senses went too far.

"Well, shit," Omilaena said.