Depthless Hunger

Chapter 38: Not the Intended Advancement

In the days following the confrontation, Kai was surprised by which elements stuck with him. Talking things out with Inafay surprisingly made him feel better, since everything was clear. He didn't care about the fact that the nobles mocked him, he was just glad to continue his training.

But the numbers fixed in his mind. He hadn't focused on them at the time, but his mind had apparently absorbed the haze of symbols around them. Their Classes all offered them strength that his never would, and Balgahai Orgoron had also advanced to F-rank Physique. Even if he worked harder than all of them put together, did the impossible over and over again, it wouldn't be enough. And yet he'd exhausted every option available to him and no great power had fallen into his lap.

It would have been easy to drift into despair, yet Kai kept moving for reasons he couldn't explain, even to himself. Even if he couldn't break through, he could at least be a better friend to his allies. He'd never spoken to the Tonjin brothers since returning to Monskon City, for example.

His biggest failing had actually been with Juray: he'd promised to convince other hunters to donate mana for her potion experiments and never followed up. She'd even given him the vials to collect the mana, which he realized might have been a reminder. Those potions might not transform his life, but assisting her might actually do more to help defend the city than fighting.

Getting those donations proved to be more difficult than he expected. Not because of his reputation, but because relatively few hunters had acquired the mana techniques to extract a physical drop of mana. It was easy to forget how many hunters strengthened their Classes but didn't worry about improving anything that didn't directly grant them power.

A few of the older hunters agreed to donate some mana in exchange for free potions, given how expensive they could be. Some were actually a little too quick to agree, which puzzled Kai until he realized that they might be thinking that he was moving on. Leaving behind his dreams of being a hunter for something they all thought was more suited to him.

Never. His mood turned bitter, but Kai still finished filling all the vials.

When he arrived at Juray's house, he saw her shop window was open, but she was nowhere to be seen. He checked the door, found it unlocked, and ventured within. Juray lay slumped on the table, her head lying on her arms, a strangely sad expression on her face.

"Oh, Kai!" She smiled so quickly that he almost thought it had been his imagination. "I didn't expect you to come at a time like this."

"Are you alright?"

"Just tired. I've been overworking myself lately. What do you need?"

"Actually, I have something for you." He triumphantly revealed all the vials of mana. "They were harder to get than I thought, so it took a while to get variety. A whole lot of Warriors and Knights, but I do have one drop from a Watercaster who works out in the fields. And the-"

"This is wonderful!" Juray swept them out of his hands eagerly, but her attention remained focused on him. "This should be more than I need to get started, make a small profit, and begin advertising enhancement potions. Honestly, I was beginning to worry that you'd forgotten."

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"Uh... truth is, I've been a bit selfish lately and I did forget, a little. But I hope the full set makes up for it."

Juray's smile shifted in a very strange way. After patting his arm, she moved back to her worktable. "I was actually lying earlier. I'm not tired, just... lonely, I guess. It means a lot that you came back with these. Keep me company while I get the potions started?"

"Sure, I can." Kai followed at a distance so he wouldn't get in her way as she began rearranging her work table. "I don't know how entertaining I can be, though. I've been doing nothing but train lately."

"Lately?" The word came alongside a teasing smirk. Kai let himself relax a little and sat down opposite her.

While she began the laborious process of converting the drops of mana into usable ingredients, Kai told her about what had been happening lately. He knew that his training didn't really interest her, and he felt petty talking about his own problems, so he ended up talking about his work with Inafay. The confrontation with the young hunters from the major clans was the only really entertaining story he had.

It seemed to interest Juray, and she nodded or shook her head at all the appropriate places. Once he stumbled into his conversation about marriage with Inafay, however, she began regarding him with a wry amusement. He regretted bringing it up and stumbled through the rest. Why had he mindlessly started talking about that part? Somehow he'd gotten caught up in the story and forgotten who he was talking to.

Once he finished, Juray shook her head. "You really are a bit slow about these things, aren't you?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Her tone was beginning to make him irritable, but he tried to swallow the emotion. "Surely you're not telling me that Inafay actually meant the opposite? Because, even if there were hints, that's just not fair. If Inafay was interested in me, she should have-"

"I wasn't talking about Inafay."

His irritation dissolved into disbelief. Surely she couldn't have just implied...? But though Kai was no master of social interaction, it was hard to misinterpret the look that Juray was giving him. And while he tried to swallow his tongue, she reached out to lay her hand over his.

"Don't you ever want to just rest for a while, Kai? You haven't been impolite about it, but I've seen you look at me. Oh, don't blush. If bluntness is what you need, let me be blunt. We may not have a relationship, but I care about you. Is that enough?"

"But I..." Her hand was incredibly soft atop his and he was suddenly aware how alone they were together. "I'm the exact opposite of everything you said you wanted. I can't give you any of that. If anything, I'm more likely to die young than the average hunter."

"Kai... I'm not asking you if you want to grow old together, I'm asking if you'd like to stay with me."

Swallowing painfully, Kai found that his head had been turned into a soup of emotions. At first all he managed to do was squeeze her hand back, then he finally stumbled onto words. "I don't, uh, I don't really know what I'm doing. I mean, I did a few things when I was younger, but I've spent almost all my time training."

"Oh, I've noticed." Juray leaned closer and kissed him briefly on the cheek before she moved on to close her shop window. "This isn't a trial or a test of skill, Kai. Please relax."

"But there are so many things that... uh, do you have a potion for, uh, children? I know that's important, so..."

"What kind of incompetent Herbalist do you take me for?" Juray tapped a case of small white cloves on her way to lock the door. "These things are a significant percentage of my income."

"Oh... well... oh." Kai realized that he was babbling like an idiot but his mind was having trouble adjusting to the fact that this was actually happening. Did people just decide this sort of thing? Even though he had no idea what he was doing, he felt as though it would be wrong to start this way. "Juray... I'm bad with this sort of thing, but I do really admire you. I've always enjoyed spending time together. So I... I hope..."

She interrupted his words with a kiss, this one not on the cheek. That afternoon, Kai learned that sometimes it was okay to do things he wasn't trained for.