Deranged Writer's Afterword

I stare at Emilia who smiled at me awkwardly.

...

I had thought a lot about how to confront Emilia with the truth and many scenarios played throughout my mind. I don't know if what I'm about to do is the right thing.... but it's the best choice that I can make.

…..

Even though I wanted to just say it outright without wasting any more time, I couldn't. I don't know....maybe it's because I feel guilty or something.

" Why don't we head to the rooftop ?", I say feeling stuffy in my hospital room.

I've been stuck here for a while now, so heading up to the rooftop might be a nice change of pace.

" Sure.", Emilia says helping me up.

~~~~

I looked down at the vibrant city before me.

Creed Hospital was located along a busy street and from the rooftop, one could see much happening.

" So....what did you wanna talk about ?", Emilia asked gazing out with me.

….

I look down on the people that went about their life....unaware that they were being confined within these barriers.....our position was akin to a pig growing up in a slaughterhouse.

We were all being fattened up before the angels could butcher us in an attempt to fry us to death...

'Growl'

My stomach grumbled like it had a life of its own.

" You must be pretty hungry...huh? hehe."

" Yeah....that must be it."

" Anyway, what did you want to tell me ?"

" Oh right....your grandparents are dead."

....

A look of shock passed through Emilia for an instant as she asked me once again praying that she had heard me wrong...-

" What did you just say ?"

" Your grandparents are dead."

-.....but it looked like God was ignoring her prayers today.

Emilia still doesn't seem to understand.....not it's not that she doesn't understand, she just can't accept it.

" H-how ?", she asked, tears streaming down her face.

I seem to be making a lot of women cry these days, I better stop...I don't want people to think that I have a weird fetish.

" Well...we needed some porters for a dungeon raid and I made your grandparents do it."

" What ?"

" We needed some porters for a dungeon ra-"

" Why...would you do something like that ?....they were normal civilians..."

I rub my head and yawn before saying,

" I did it because I can and if it's any comfort at all.....they were pretty good meat shields."

…...

" You.....BASTARD !", Emilia punched me using her full strength.

I fly across some distance before falling and I look up to find her coming towards me, her fists clenched and she was also muttering something but I couldn't hear her because of the ringing within my ears...

Damn...Emilia knows how to throw a punch.

However, before Emilia could do any more damage Lecia appears out of nowhere and drags her away.

'Where did she pop out from?'

Soon, Katherine also emerged from the opposite end of the rooftop, we didn't see them earlier because they were hidden by the building that led to the rooftop.

Katherine walks up to me and watched the view down below.

I think back to the last time we were alone on a rooftop, she had asked me if I was a 'bad' person...I wonder if Katherine hates me now?

" Why did you lie ?"

" About what ?"

" About her grandparents....."

My eyes widen in surprise hearing her, seeing my surprise Katherine says,

" Lecia told me about those parasites a long time ago....so tell me, why did you lie to her ?"

Lecia....she couldn't just keep her mouth shut.....ughhhh.

When we told them the 'truth', Eric and Lecia left out a minor detail...that I had fed Emilia's grandparents the Ascaris but it turns out that Lecia couldn't keep her mouth shut and when did they even become so close?

....

Oh right.....five months have passed.

I have a lot of questions but now's not the time to be lost in my thoughts.

" The outcome wouldn't be any different even if I told her the truth."

" Is that so ?", Katherine says her gaze fixed on the clear sky.

" Do you hate me now ?"

I don't know why I asked her that.....it's not like I care about what she thinks.

" I don't," she says immediately.

What?

She doesn't hate me?

" Don't you understand ?..... I killed all those people because I wanted to.....I'm not a good person."

" I never said that you were a good person.", Katherine remarked.

" THEN WHY WON'T YOU JUST HATE ME !?", I shout at her.

I don't know why I'm getting so frustrated.....I should probably shut up but something about Katherine just ticks me off.

" Adam...I don't know what kind of person you were before...but we've all changed since coming here.....even you. I can't bring myself to hate you because.....you're the kindest person I've ever met."

" What ?", I scoff at her.

" you think I'm kind ?...don't make me laugh, do you know how many people I've slaughtered with these hands ?", I say raising my hands in the air....don't ask me why.

I can feel my anger rising.....and I don't understand why I'm feeling this way...

" That may be so.....but as I said...you've changed, we all have. You didn't tell Emilia the truth because you wanted her to blame someone other than herself...didn't you ?"

" I told you that isn't i-"

" You let Jennifer go because you couldn't kill her...I don't know if you're a bad person but I do know that you're not evil.....you need to stop hating yourself and let some people in or you'll be all alone."

" Well.....what if I want to be alone ?"

" I don't think you mean that...we all need somebody, Adam.", Katherine says heading back.

Somebody...for what?

Just before going away, she turned around and says with a bitter smile on her face,

" Stop acting like an asshole and deal with them properly."

After she left, I return to my room.

I knew for a fact that Jennifer was wrong about everything.

I am evil because being bad and evil are the same thing...isn't it?

She wants me to stop being an asshole and deal with things properly.....I'll never do that...I mean how would that even work?

_+_+_

I didn't know it then.....but I should have listened to Katherine's advice.

~~~~