Chapter 57:
When Jiang Xu woke up in the morning, Shen Fangyu was no longer in the room.
He glanced at his phone and found that it was past nine o'clock. He hadn't slept for such a long time. Jiang Xu glanced at the alarm clock set last night with some surprise, only to realize that his alarm clock had been cancelled.
No wonder I didn't hear the bell.
It is estimated that after he fell asleep, Shen Fangyu turned off his alarm clock.
He wanted to get up and ask the teacher for his crimes, but he also felt that this occasional snooze... is actually quite pleasant. The soft bed has a familiar smell at home, and the soft pillow is sunken, making it very comfortable against the face.
The house was surprisingly quiet, as if there was no one there. He rarely lay on the bed for a while, until he almost fell asleep again, before he reacted and sat up, trying to wake himself up.
After sitting for a while, he suddenly realized that there seemed to be no movement outside since he woke up. He got up and wanted to go out with some doubts. Unexpectedly, just as he opened the door, a ribbon suddenly exploded above his head.
Colorful strips of paper mixed with gold powder fell down. Jiang Xu faced a lawsuit to find the culprit, but found that the dining table was full of his favorite dishes. His parents sat on the table and looked at him together. There is also a cake in the middle.
Jiang's mother looked a little cramped, Jiang's father looked at him, and said, "Come and eat after washing up."
Shen Fangyu put one hand on the table, tilted his head and looked at him with a smile, "Morning, Jiang Xu!"
When Jiang Xu finished washing up and sat down at the table, he was still a little dazed.
"You guys are..."
"Mom made so many delicious food for you, just want...to think..." Jiang's mother hesitated, and Jiang's father simply opened his mouth to help her out, "Your mother wants to apologize to you!"
"This is Xiao Shen's idea," Mother Jiang took out a bouquet of yellow roses from the room and handed it to Jiang Xu, "Mom has never given flowers to anyone in this life, so give the first bouquet to my son."
Jiang Xu glanced at Shen Fangyu, who smiled and said, "This time I thought of it myself, I didn't go online to find a creative designer."
Jiang Xu recalled for a while his hair covered in gold powder and washed for a long time, his eyes were unclear and he said, "Next time you should look for it online."
"Do you like flowers?" Mother Jiang carefully looked at Jiang Xu's expression.
Jiang Xu lowered his head and smelled the yellow roses, the smell was very fragrant, the golden color was like the sun, just like opening the curtains in the morning and letting the light pour down unscrupulously, it brightened his mood all of a sudden.
"Thank you, Mom." He didn't look up, and lowered his eyelashes to cover his emotionally heavy pupils.
"Before Mom, I didn't know that this matter was so serious to you." Jiang's mother's eyes were red, and she obviously didn't sleep much all night. She patted Jiang Xu's arm: "Whether you are married or not, we will talk about it later, Mom I just want you to be well, it's better than anything else."
Jiang Xu pursed his lips and gave a low "hmm".
Probably the elders have held on for a lifetime and valued face more than anything else. When the children really encounter difficulties, they can temporarily put it on hold.
No matter how harsh expectations and requirements were in the past, they are not so important when health is threatened.
People are alive, more important than anything else.
Ren Miao's parents were like this, so were his parents.
Mother Jiang looked at him, feeling a little uncomfortable, "Since this happened, let's face it."
She took out a diary from behind her again, "This was written by my mother when she was pregnant with you, and I don't know if it can help you." She said, "I know you are such an adult, and you don't like it when your parents talk to you." You live together... If you don't feel well in the next few months and you want to let mom stay with you, just call me, and mom will ask for leave immediately to take care of you. "
Jiang Xu took the diary and flipped through it casually, and it was full of a mother's expectations for her child.
Mother Jiang looked at his actions, with a bit of guilt on her face: "I was too emotional when I heard you say those things yesterday. Mom is just very angry, she didn't mean to say that."
"This morning, Xiao Shen told me a lot. Your father... also told me a lot. I also checked some information on the Internet. I saw some people said that your situation may be because of your mother. When I was pregnant with you, I didn't pay enough attention, which made your body abnormal."
Jiang's mother blamed herself: "This matter is not your fault, it's mother's fault, it's because I wasn't careful enough when I was pregnant with you."
She gave Jiang Xu two pieces of fragrant chicken, and couldn't help shedding two more tears, "Xiao Xu, no matter what you look like, you are a piece of meat that fell from your mother, and you are my good son." .”
"Mom, don't look at those messy things." Jiang Xu didn't expect his mother to have such thoughts. He put down the diary, and his heart suddenly felt sore.
His eyes moved from the chicken in the bowl to Shen Fangyu, and then he looked at his father with a serious expression but worried eyes.
Finally, he turned his eyes back to Mother Jiang, and sighed slightly, "I'm just unlucky, and it has nothing to do with you."
I don't know which word in this sentence hit Jiang Mu, her tears suddenly became turbulent, and there was a vague sentence in the thick cry: "Xiao Xu, you are too sensible."
Her Xiaoxu is indeed too sensible.
Perhaps when encountering unexpected accidents, people will inevitably want to throw the responsibility on others to alleviate their annoyance and guilt.
But her son never complained about their parents from the beginning to the end, saying "you made me like this".
"Okay, okay, the son who cried so much can't eat anymore, didn't he agree to stop crying this morning." Jiang's father squeezed Jiang's mother's shoulders, and handed her a few tissues.
"Our Xiaoxu is a doctor, you have to listen to him, don't read blindly on the Internet every day. Let's not talk about who is right and who is wrong here. If you want to say that, I am also at fault. It will make my son suffer this kind of grievance."
"Yes, yes, I won't cry," Mother Jiang wiped away her tears, forced a smile, and said to Jiang Xu, "Come on, eat meat, this is your favorite."
Jiang Xu took a deep breath, put the tip of his tongue against his chin, and finally suppressed the overly strong emotions in his heart. He smiled at Jiang's father and Jiang's mother, and the mole under his eyes was vivid and excited.
"good."
When he was about to leave City B, no matter what Jiang Xu refused, Jiang's parents insisted on taking the two of them to the station. After swiping their ID cards to enter the station for a long time, Jiang Xu could still see his parents standing in the distance.
His eyes flickered, and he saw Shen Fangyu raised his hand above his head and waved vigorously, and soon Jiang's parents also stretched out their hands, waving to them with difficulty through several layers of glass.
Jiang Xu often saw such people at the station before. He was not a person who showed his emotions, so he always felt that this was somewhat exaggerated, but now seeing Shen Fangyu waving goodbye to his parents, he suddenly had complicated thoughts in his heart.
When turning around and walking inside the station, Jiang Xu asked, "Why do you suddenly have such a good relationship with my parents?"
"My uncle and aunt have always had a good relationship," Shen Fangyu said carelessly, "Last time they grabbed my hand and wanted to recognize me as a godson. When your mother was cooking this morning, she let me learn by the side , Said that those dishes are all your favorite, I have to learn."
Jiang Xu glanced at him, and Shen Fangyu smiled and said, "But your father is really fierce. He found me at five o'clock this morning and talked with me for more than an hour. His brows never relaxed until I swore over and over again that he would be good." For you and the child, uncle looks better."
There was nothing wrong with these words, but I don't know the reason, Jiang Xu always felt weird when he heard it.
Oh, now that I think about it, isn't this the common line used by the scumbag male lead to the female lead in old domestic TV dramas.
Jiang Xu glanced at Shen Fangyu, who had a question mark on his face, "Did I say the wrong thing again?"
Jiang Xu ignored him, but after a while, Shen Fangyu suddenly sat next to him and placed screenshots of mobile phone orders in front of him. The book purchase record of "The Way" appeared in Jiang Xu's sight.
At the end, there is a book with an extremely strange name—"365 Love Words to Coax My Wife".
Jiang Xu twitched the corner of his mouth.
"Do you think it's useful for me to learn this?" Shen Fangyu asked seriously.
"..." Jiang Xu patted him on the shoulder, took his mobile phone and clicked a button to cancel the order and refund.
It was already late when they returned to City A, and the two of them went to the hospital to have a look before returning home.
When Shen Fangyu took a shower and went to knock on the bedroom door, he found that the door that was always closed before was actually ajar today. After thinking for a while, he knocked on the door anyway.
The door was not closed on purpose, just to imply someone who asked Shen Fangyu not to knock on the door and come in directly: "..."
Hearing that there was no response for a long time, Shen Fangyu knocked again: "Jiang Xu?"
Then I heard Jiang Xu clear his throat in a low voice, "Come in."
He pushed open the door and asked curiously, "Why did you forget to close the door today? It's cold, so be careful of drafts." After he finished speaking, he closed the door, and when he was about to lie down, he suddenly found that his bed was gone.
"Are you trying to drive me away?" Shen Fangyu's disbelief contained a bit of pain, "Jiang Xu, you can't be so heartless, where do you want me to live at night? How can you be so cruel."
He had just been tortured by his parents with Jiang Xu, the back was still painful when he was beaten by Jiang's mother, and they talked so much about the past together all night, he thought that he and Jiang Xu had opened their hearts and successfully evolved from deadly rivals to The relationship between the two sides is frank and honest. I didn't expect Jiang Xu to take his nest as soon as he came back.
"..." Jiang Xu looked at him, and was silent for a moment, Shen Fangyu always felt that Jiang Xu's eyes contained some greetings to his IQ.
Then Jiang Xu said, "Come up."
"ah?"
Shen Fangyu suspected that either his ears were wrong, or that Jiang Xu's words were wrong... No, it is impossible for Jiang Xu to say something wrong.
After Jiang Xu was provoked to run away from home that time, Shen Fangyu deeply realized this point.
"I'll let you come up to sleep." Jiang Xu repeated with a rare good temper, "It's cold on the ground, isn't your back hurt?"
When he let Shen Fangyu sleep on the floor before, Shen Fangyu always wanted to climb on his bed, and he said a series of reasons, such as the floor was too hard, and the cervical spine was not good. Jiang Xu originally thought that if he proposed to let Shen Fangyu sleep together, the latter should be very happy That's right.
However, Shen Fangyu looked at him and was stunned for a while, "Why?"
Jiang Xu looked at him with a frosty face, "I remember I told you last night that I will care about you in the future."
As a result, after finishing this sentence, Shen Fangyu fell silent.
"Can't come up?"
Shen Fangyu said, "I'd better... sleep on the floor," he laughed dryly, "I'm afraid of heat, and my bones are hard, so it's uncomfortable to sleep on a soft bed."
"..."
Jiang Xu was a little angry.
Before, because he was not that familiar with Shen Fangyu, and because he still had lingering fears of a one-night stand, he never let Shen Fangyu sleep with him, but now the relationship between the two has eased, and for so long, Shen Fangyu has never shown any overstepping behavior towards him. Shen Fangyu invited Shen Fangyu to squeeze the double bed with him because he was beaten.
In the end, Shen Fangyu was so shameless.
"Okay, up to you."
Jiang Xu turned off the light with a "snap", and heard Shen Fangyu take out the quilt from the closet with a rustle, and started laying the floor on the floor again, the more he thought about it, the more angry he became.
Is he some kind of scourge?
Shen Fangyu would rather sleep on the floor than sleep with him?
He wanted to ask Shen Fangyu, but felt that he seemed to care too much, so he turned over in anger and closed his eyes angrily.
On the other side, Shen Fangyu was lying on the floor under the bed, covering his face with the quilt.
Fortunately, Jiang Xu turned off the lights quickly enough, otherwise he would really be kicked out tonight.
He didn't have time to think about what Jiang Xu was thinking right now, nor did he have the time to think about why Jiang Xu suddenly changed his attitude and asked him to go to bed, only one thought remained in his mind.
—Jiang Xu's words made him react.
Shen Fangyu's scalp was numb.
The first time was drunk, not to mention, the second time I saw Jiang Xu without his shirt on, and the third time was holding Jiang Xu in his arms.
But what is going on now?
No drinking, no physical contact, no visual stimulation, what is his body excited about.
Good brothers call good brothers to sleep together, is there any problem?
Is his nerve and brain too sensitive and too active for the word "Jiang Xu".
Unlike the three layers of soft mattresses that Jiang Xu gave him, the floor that Shen Fangyu made for himself was very thin, and he could even clearly feel the hard ground and its coolness.
However, his heart was burning too much, and the coolness was just a drop in the bucket. Not only did he not calm down, but instead he had more and more messy thoughts in his mind. He couldn't even imagine when he would be able to calm down if he slept with Jiang Xu down.
He must go to the hospital after the holiday, Shen Fangyu thought, he will go right away, he can't wait for a second.
On the rest day, Shen Fangyu wrapped himself up like a night walker during the day.
The black hat, black mask and black sunglasses are tighter than those of celebrities who go out for a walk.
Not for anything else, the main reason is that Dr. Shen, Jihua's social flamboyant, knows too many people. He really can't guarantee that there will be no acquaintances in any hospital.
It's fine if he sees other illnesses, but the problem is that Shen Fangyu really can't tell his acquaintances about his illness this time. Even if his skin is as thick as a city wall, he doesn't want to bump into his colleagues who know him well.
After thinking about the hospitals in City A in his mind, he found a remote hospital in a surrounding county. He drove to the suburbs early in the morning, carefully registered the number of the andrology department, and huddled in a corner to observe silently. Call the number plate.
The expert account has been fully booked long ago, Shen Fangyu can only register for the ordinary account, and the doctor's name cannot be seen with the ordinary account, it is all random, even though the place is remote, Shen Fangyu is still a little worried.
"Number 83, Shen Fangyu."
After waiting for a long time, the big screen finally called out to Shen Fangyu. He took a slow and deep breath, walked steadily and pushed the door into the consultation room. When he saw the outpatient doctor, he breathed a sigh of relief.
The outpatient doctor is a young male doctor, not an acquaintance.
He took off his mask and glasses, and smiled at the outpatient doctor.
"Star?" The doctor seemed to understand something when he saw that he was handsome and covered his face like this.
Shen Fangyu shook his head frantically.
The doctor asked with an expression that I understand that it doesn't matter, "Is the condition?"
As Dr. Shen, Shen Fangyu knew how to explain his condition in the most concise and clear manner, but as a patient... for the time being, he couldn't express his condition so neatly.
"It's just... I have a friend... He's straight."
The outpatient doctor glanced at him.
"Ahem," Shen Fangyu cleared his throat and sped up his speech, "then once, he accidentally had a relationship with a colleague, and since then he has been particularly sensitive to contact with this colleague, and is particularly prone to...reactions .”
Speaking of this, Shen Fangyu's face inexplicably burned, and he didn't know if it was because of embarrassment or other reasons.
"What do you think is wrong with my friend?" Shen Fangyu said, "Can it be cured?"
"The colleague is also a man?" The doctor noticed something unusual in his hesitation.
Shen Fangyu nodded.
The outpatient doctor's expression was a bit complicated, "You react to men, you are sensitive to men's touch, you can sleep with men, but you are a straight man?"
"..." Shen Fangyu struggled tenaciously and said, "He's my friend."
However, the outpatient doctor of the andrology department was obviously not interested in having a story meeting with him. He operated on the computer and told Shen Fangyu, "I'll transfer the registration form to the psychiatric department for you. It's upstairs. There is no need to charge the registration fee again. Go and see."
Shen Fangyu: "..."
Dr. Shen, who was brutally insulted, put on sunglasses and a mask angrily, and walked out of the consultation room without looking back under the watchful eyes of the outpatient doctor.
The outpatient doctor watched him leave calmly, and then tried to memorize his appearance, intending to report it to his girlfriend who was always on the front line of star chasing.
—This artist has a male sister-in-law, but if she refuses to admit it, her house will collapse, so don't be a fan.
The bad artist Shen Fangyu was sitting in the car right now, sulking.
What kind of doctor is this? If I had known earlier, I would not have come.
He inserted the car keys and planned to go home. When the car started, he held the steering wheel with both hands and glanced at the rearview mirror, but he didn't move for a long time.
"Young man, are you going or not?" A car approached not far away, apparently seeing the parking space where he parked.
He came early today, and with good luck, he managed to occupy a place under the shade of a tree.
After a while, Shen Fangyu took a deep breath, pulled out the car key again, and said to the uncle who called out, "I'm not leaving."
Forget it, isn't it just to see a psychiatrist? Just take a look.
Just think it was because of the good parking space he occupied and the hard work of running around early in the morning for so long.
He walked back to the outpatient building, rushed all the way to the psychiatric department, and saw the amiable old doctor.
Psychiatric consultations are different from other departments. Generally, they don’t pursue the speed of passing the number. Most doctors are slow. If they see that you are not in good condition, they will have a good chat with you.
"It's okay, little comrade," the old doctor said confidently, "I've seen a lot of patients, and you can tell me if you have any questions."
Shen Fangyu repeated what he had said to the andrologist in a heartless manner.
The old doctor didn't know if he had read the same script as the andrologist. He took a half step back, pursed his lips with a complicated expression, and said the same thing to Shen Fangyu: "You react to men and are sensitive to men's touch. , can sleep with men, but you are a straight man?"
Shen Fangyu retorted weakly: "It's not me, it's my friend... Do you think he can be saved?"
"Your situation...is really rare." The old doctor looked at him for a while, and tentatively said, "Why don't we jump out and think about it?"
"Huh?" Shen Fangyu finally had some light in his eyes: "You tell me."
"That is to say... Is there a possibility..." The old doctor paused, "You really fell in love with this colleague who had an accidental relationship with you?"
"I like..." Shen Fangyu repeated the old doctor's words, but in the middle of speaking, he accidentally bit the tip of his tongue, and blurted out a retort: "How is it possible, how can I like him?"
The old doctor reassured calmly: "Homosexuality is very normal, young man, don't be too psychologically burdened."
"I know but—" Shen Fangyu opened his mouth to say something, but when he met the old doctor's eyes that seemed to see everything, he was suddenly speechless again.
"Have you...have you ever liked the same sex?" asked the old doctor.
Shen Fangyu shook his head blankly.
"Then do you think about the opposite **** you have liked?"
Shen Fangyu thought for a while, but only remembered a few vague images, so he said to the old doctor, "I can't remember clearly, what happened before university."
The old doctor was silent for a moment, and suggested: "This... bisexuality is also very normal, why don't you think about it again?"
"Bisexual?"
"Yes," the old doctor said, "You probably have been stereotyped for too long, and your self-awareness is not very clear, so you didn't realize it for a while. If you still don't understand after a week or two, you can come to me again." He looked at Shensi Shen Fangyu, who didn't belong, added in a considerate manner: "If you trust me, you can still register with me. I'm here every week for consultation."
Shen Fangyu raised his eyes to look at the old doctor. His eyes were wise and peaceful, but somehow, such eyes made him feel messed up.
He floated out of the hospital like a wandering spirit, sat in the car for a long time, his head was still dazed.
The past self-cognition is like a collapsed building at the end of the day, shattering into ashes bit by bit.
He likes Jiang Xu?
How can it be?
Yes, he does care about Jiang Xu very much, and is also possessive of him, and even has a physical reaction because of him.
But how could he like Jiang Xu?
Who is Jiang Xu?
Jiang Xu is an old rival who has competed with him for ten years, and a deadly enemy who bickers and fights with him whenever he has nothing to do, and the relationship has only eased and warmed up until now.
Say he likes Jiang Xu?
I always feel like saying that Xiang Yu actually has a crush on Liu Bang, that Liu Bei has an affair with Cao Cao secretly, and that Zhuge Liang and Zhou Yu are in love with each other.
But... If he really didn't have any extravagant thoughts, why did the old doctor's words keep circling in his mind after so long?
It was as if he was trying to cut open his heart to see through it.
The old doctor's face and Jiang Xu's face overlapped in his mind, and he seemed to suddenly recall a lot of various pasts, passing by his eyes like a revolving lantern:
The Jiang Xu who caught a glimpse in the Internet cafe, the Jiang Xu who declared war on him in high spirits in the university, and the Jiang Xu who passed by the Bozai cake shop with him in the depths of the night, the seductive, Jiang Xu who made him unable to help himself, Jiang Xu who smiled at him and liked to eat tiger skin and green peppers, Jiang Xu who hugged him unexpectedly in the dark of night...
There were many, many, and finally it was fixed on the face of Jiang Xu who was focused and said to care about him.
That night, when he was emotional, why did he blurt out and ask Jiang Xu why he chose to keep the child...
So what about him? So what if it has nothing to do with him?
What exactly did he want to hear from Jiang Xu, or what did he want to confirm?
The sensibility of trusting horses at night and the rationality of day-time thinking mingled and fought together, so that he couldn't tell which was right and which was wrong for a while.
Shen Fangyu felt that his thoughts were fragmented and chaotic. He seemed to be controlled by something. He wanted to get rid of his selfish desires, but he didn't know how to do it. He wanted to touch the truth, but he always missed the mark.
Is his heart towards Jiang Xu really pure?
If it was pure, how could his heartbeat be so fast.
But if he is not innocent, how should he get along with Jiang Xu in the future?
Jiang Xu trusted him so much, even to the point that he thought he could spend a lifetime with him.
But he had thoughts and distractions about him that he shouldn't have, and he had unreasonable thoughts of wanting to possess and ask for it.
Is this appropriate?