Everything Was a Mistake

Chapter 35

Translated by cabinfourtranslations

“Your test wasn’t a big deal, you know. Sometimes it got worse, but then you apologized as a formality. Usually when I say I like something, you’d ask for it. If I say I don’t like someone, you will stick around and talk to them. It was such a stupid, childish thing to do.”

“…. Valrose.”

“You’re not apologizing for that, are you? Then what. For spying on Alice? For keeping an eye on Aaron? No, that’s not something you need to apologize to me. Nocton, what do you want to apologize to me for? What do you want in return?”

He couldn’t answer my words, but as if he was frustrated, Nocton came a step further with a frown.

I tried to take two steps back, but the railing hit my back.

The distance from Nocton has rather become closer. It seems that I have stepped back many more than I was conscious of.

And my heart, too, was farther away from Nocton than I was conscious of.

I never imagined it in my childhood. That there will be a day when I’ll feel uncomfortable just being in a same place as him.

I have never imagined that I would be afraid of Nocton, pity him, and feel distant.

But I didn’t expect it, it wasn’t the days that won’t come because I didn’t want to.

Maybe it was supposed to be like this a long time ago. From the moment I mistook the role of Nocton Edgar.

In an unknown sense of loss, I grasped the railing right behind me.

Then, there was a strange sound came from the railing. As if it was cracked from the inside, it seemed to be broken anytime soon.

Seriously, it was bad construction?

I was taken aback by the railing.

“It’s dangerous, so move away from the railing.”

Nocton reached out, as if to pull me in.

In a series of unexpected moments, I was just looking at the approaching hand, with my body stiffened.

And the moment his fingertips touched my arm, the necklace shone and a white light splashed ferociously.

To exaggerate, it seemed like a little lightning bolt.

This … is this attacking just by a touch?

Confused, I looked down at the necklace around my neck.

As if to show off that it had done such a thing a while ago, there was a white spark in the crystal.

It didn’t mean any harm to my flesh, but … Alice, what the hell did you give me!

I wanted to scream because it looked so loud that anyone could see it. I hope this is a quiet terrace, if it’s happened at the ballroom … it was horrible just to imagine.

“What is this.”

What awakened my confused and helpless mind was a subdued voice.

Although he didn’t look happy a little while ago, Nocton Edgar’s expression was as dark as that day in the drawing room now.

I once again recalled Alice’s words not to provoke Alice.

However, it’s absurd not to provoke him when I wore a necklace that sparked just by touch.

Even if it wasn’t for the necklace, in the first place, I didn’t know how to deal with Nocton Edgar in a gentle manner

Even if he did not raise his voice or speak sarcastically, sometimes he reacted wrongly.

Rather, the white necklace might have offended him.

Everyone is sensitive to pain.

It wasn’t serious, but Nocton’s palms were a little red….

Thinking so, the way back was taken away.

The fear that was suppressed by other emotions raised itself with a single word.

Even that reminded me that our relationship has changed.

“I told you. I didn’t spy on you, I will never spy on you.”

“Why are you suddenly talking about it?”

“Did you think I would hurt you?”

Even if it didn’t actually happen, he put a blade in Alice and Aaron, so there’s no way I was going to be safe.

And it’s a very complacent idea to believe that the Roa Valrose will be safe, even if I recall the original story, which has become a little out of place.

Still, Nocton seemed deeply offended by my preparation.

Maybe he wants to be swayed by influence.

I wanted to be sarcastic, but I held it in.

I’m wearing this necklace because I’m afraid you’ll hurt me.

It would be really provocative for anyone to say so.

“What is this? It is as you can see.”

“Valrose.”

“It’s just a necklace on my neck that I paired with Aaron. I don’t know why you’re overreacting.”

I can’t stand it.

Even though I didn’t intend it, words coming from my mouth sounded like a lot of mockery of Nocton.

I thought I hadn’t adapted to fear, but at least my mouth seemed to have overcome the life-threatening crisis finely.

Nocton’s eyes were distorted.

He closed his eyes for a moment as if he were holding back his anger, then raised his eyelids back with a quivering breath.

Nevertheless, his eyes did not seem to have calmed at all.

“….yes, if it makes you comfortable, do as you please.”

The voice from his mouth was foreignly calm.

The voice aroused my anxiety, and the anxiety hastened to break the stillness.

I thought I had to say something, so I hastily opened my mouth.

“I’m doing as I please even if you don’t tell me. You said you’re sorry, but you don’t know what to apologize for, then I’ll ask you something else.”

I looked straight into Nocton Edgar’s eyes and asked.

“Why are you doing this to me? I was a little better than your toy, no matter who saw it. It’s not my imagination. As Lady Sheryl Bornaine said, there were many people who thought you were close to me because you felt sorry for me. But now that I’m trying to end our relationship, you said that I’m special and you will do whatever I want.”

“Does that matter what other people think?”

“Then what do you think of me, Nocton? What do you think our relationship is?”

“…”

“Yeah, I knew you wouldn’t tell. But Nocton, if you don’t tell me that, you didn’t expect me to take you seriously, did you? If you’re done talking, get out of here, or should I leave?”

That’s what I said. I wanted to walk past Nocton and get out of the terrace, but his expression was broken.

His chin was strained by a tight bite of his teeth.

When I saw him, I was forced to shrink back.

“Valrose, what am I supposed to do? What do you want me to do? What the hell Alice Limorand told you, you wouldn’t listen to me, no matter what I say. I’ll do what you want, I’m asking you to tell me!”

For the first time today, Nocton’s voice rose.

On the dark night, the lotus eyes shone ferociously, like the eyes of a bird of prey.

I shrugged and shut my mouth.

The sound of my heart beating was loud.

Even if the fear is overwhelmed by other emotions, my heart beats again at a word, and even if I try to control my fear and say something, my lips tremble when the situation changes a little.

It was not a normal relationship, no matter what you think.

I couldn’t even say we were friends.

I’m already afraid of him, whether he’s trying to frighten me or not.

My self-confidence overflowed and I pushed out the shame.

He’s like this. What did he say to me?

Don’t make it obvious that you’re scared.

He said so.

“You told me not to make it obvious that I’m scared, how can I do that?”

A dejected laugh came out of me.

“I’m scared of you. Where you’re not around, I might think the same way. You’re my childhood friend, and I can think I’m not scared. I was surprised when you vomited blood. I was worried that you weren’t feeling well. But Nocton, what’s the use of all that?”

“What.…”

“Now I’m so scared at these moments, when I meet you, make eye contact, and have conversations with you.”

I covered my face with both hands and took a short breath. I felt a vivid trembling from the breath that touched my palm.

Scary. I’m afraid.

I wanted to give up everything and run away.

“You know, I can’t act. Even if I brag and raise my pride in front of people I hate, how much is that. How can I hide that I’m scared? My hands are shaking like this.”

I tried to remove the hand that covered my face, and I untied my necklace with my open hand.

The necklace that protected me for a moment from the Nocton’s contact ascended onto the railing.

Throwing my only defense on my own, I reached out to Nocton.

His fingertips shook as soon in spite of the unexpected action, but I grabbed it without care.

I put Nocton’s hand on my neck.

To let the pulses sway through fear, dread, and anxiety.

I showed all my fears in protest against him who told me not to show that I’m scared.

Nocton, who was startled enough, pulled out his hand.

His face, as he looked up, is white as if all the pigment had gone out.

What did you feel?

“It doesn’t matter what Alice said. The point is, whatever she said, I’ve come to doubt you.”

“That, what do you mean.”

“If you had told me the same thing about Alice, I would have trusted Alice. “

Alice, I’m sorry, you told me so many times not to provoke him, but I don’t know how to solve all this without provoking Nocton.

“I would have trusted Aaron even if you said dirty things about him. But when Alice or Aaron says something about you, I can’t trust you, Nocton. How can I trust you? There’s no trust between us. You made it that way.”

His eyes trembled greatly.

The clearly agitated face make him looked like a wounded man.

“I don’t know even now. Why did you bring me to your mansion, why did you have to play with me so much. What was that time, and what do you think of me the past years? Why are you … now I really have no idea why you’re acting like this, Nocton.”

It was hard to look at his face, so I turned my head deliberately.

Beyond the railing, the crescent moon dimly floating in the distant sky. The outline was not clear, but it was enough to set my gaze.

“So let’s stop. You can’t tell me the reason and I don’t want to hear it, because even if I hear the reason, we can’t go back to the past.”

As my words continued, the wind blew strongly. The wind is strong enough to shake my body.

I grabbed the rail to support myself, and the railing collapsed from the inside.

I was so afraid of Nocton that I backed away, and the wind pushed my body back slowly against the railing.

My hand, who was in the air, grabbed the necklace that had been put on the railing.

However, the necklace, which protects my body from black magic, was of no use in this situation.

With a firm grip on what I had grasped in my hand, I closed my eyes tightly.

My feet rose and my body almost fell over the railing.

And the next moment, a hard arm snatched my waist and pulled me back