Fancy Me, Professor!

"Can I... touch you?"

Pan An blinked his eyes a few times in disbelief upon hearing the words that escaped from innocent-but-not-so-innocent Shu Xian's lips. 

Did he hear right? Did he just hear Shu Xian ask him if she could touch him?

Why? 

"Why are you asking me this?" 

Pan An had to ask her aloud. With him still flabbergasted as he was unsure if he heard her right, Shu Xian sighed and pouted and answered him almost in a whisper.

"I said I felt bad that I felt good and you didn't. Geez... you're making it difficult for me to answer you. This is something I'm not comfortable to do."

"I'm sorry," Pan An immediately answered, planting a soft kiss on top of her head. "I know, but I just couldn't believe it."

"W-well?"

Shu Xian stammered, urging an answer from him as she was waiting for his reply to her question.

"What do you think?"

"Shu Xian..."

After saying her name, Pan An let out a small sigh and went quiet for a full three seconds before talking again. 

"You have no idea how inviting that idea you just told me."

A small smile appeared on Shu Xian's face. With her lying down on her right side, Pan An settled beside her, sharing the blanket with her.

"Especially now that I've just showered and then I'm naked underneath this. You're naked, too."

"So..." Shu Xian bit her bottom lip, Pan An chuckling with what he heard next. "You want to... or?"

Pan An playfully rolled his eyes at her. With him gently pulling Shu Xian in his arms, she felt warm in his embrace, her head resting on his chest. 

"Oh, Shu Xian... it really is tempting, but I think we should take it slow. We have to slow down, especially now that it's your first time even touching yourself."

A hint of pink shade appeared on the woman's face. With her shyly looking at Pan An, she furrowed her brows, sharing him his concern.

"But Pan An... you were not pleasured. I..."

"Silly girl."

Pan An pinched the bridge of her nose, Shu Xian further blushing with what she heard.

"You think I did nothing inside the bathroom? I thought of you and satisfied myself."

"G-geez..."

Shu Xian puffed her cheeks, not knowing how to react to that so she just spoke and said what she thought was best.

"You're such a naughty guy... you know that, right?"

"Only for you," Pan An said, planting another kiss on top of Shu Xian's head. "Only you, Shu Xian."

However, when she heard the latter part, she couldn't help but be pulled in her own thoughts.

Only her, really?

He had a past relationship with a woman whom he really loved to bits! Heck, she may have been his first and he says only her?

Well, it may be true since Pan An is only dating her and that should be the case. 

But Shu Xian wondered if it's the same thing with her. She wondered if Pan An had said the same words to her since Ruo Xi is his first love.

Of course he has had sexy moments with her for him to be this good and experienced. Of course he knew what to say because he had dated someone before.

Shu Xian knew that she shouldn't compare, but she just couldn't help it. 

It is her first time being in a relationship and the thought of him having this moment with his ex in the past and the possibility of him saying the same words to her, it ached her heart.

Noticing that the girl is in a deep thought as her brows knitted together, Pan An tapped the in-between of her two brows with his index finger, getting her attention.

"What's wrong?" He asked, Shu Xian now staring straight into his eyes. "You know that you can tell me anything."

Shu Xian was reluctant, but she knew that Pan An has a point. With her letting out a small sigh, she then decided to tell him since honesty is good when it comes to relationships.

Yes, she may feel doubts about what to do here and there as this is their first day of officially dating each other. But still, she had to trust what she thinks is right and she had to trust Pan An since he isn't the type to lie and he had experiences before.

"I can't help but think," she started, Pan An intently looking at her to listen. "that you may have said the same words to her... and had done the same."

What she said had struck Pan An's heart, making him silent. It had made him think right at this moment, starting to think of Ruo Xi and what they have shared in the past.

Ruo Xi was his first love. Of course he told her before that she was the only one he fell in love with and that she was the only woman whom he got himself involved with.

However, this time, it's different. He knows for sure that Ruo Xi and Shu Xian are different and that comparing and contrasting them won't do any good.

He had to tell her, too, that comparing herself to Ruo Xi will further plant doubts and self-depreciation. Pan An knew that he had to advise Shu Xian to focus on herself and themselves as a couple and nothing else.

Easier said than done, but it takes two to tango. They have to talk about this and at the same time, learn how to manage this together.

They have to overcome this together and besides... 

What is important is now, and not the past.

Like the saying which goes: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

"Pan An?"

Pan An snapped out of his thoughts when Shu Xian called for his attention. With her worried expression not leaving her face, the professor realized that he may have been in a daze for a long time, ignoring her in the process.

"Are you alright? Did you find what I said annoying?"

"No, Shu Xian," Pan An immediately answered, wrapping his arm around her to embrace her. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of how you came into my life like a whirlwind."

"Mmm... you don't like it?"

"Of course not," Pan An replied, now giving a quick kiss on her lips. "It's just that it was not something I expected. Not what I expected, but something I couldn't hate. I did start to fall in love with you when I thought I couldn't."

Shu Xian smiled, liking what she has heard as she felt her heart flutter.

"Then, why are you quiet?"

"Well, to be honest," Pan An started, smiling at her as well. "Your question got me thinking."

Shu Xian went quiet as she listened to Pan An. With both of them talking seriously this way, it made her feel that they were further getting to know each other, which is a good thing.

Since they are in a relationship, it is needed, right?

"I have to admit, you were right when I said things that I have told you to her before as well."

A frown appeared on Shu Xian's face, making Pan An's heart slightly ache. However, he had a perfect explanation to it and he hopes that Shu Xian would understand.

"I was young, Shu Xian. She was my first love. I was like a hopeless romantic thinking that it would last forever, that's why. But do know that this time, with you, it's different."

"Oh?"

Shu Xian looked at him, tipping her head up so she could get a clearer view of his face.

"It's our first day dating. How could you say I'm very different from her?"

"Of course, you are." 

Pan An held her hand then put it on his lips to give her fingertips a feather-like kiss. 

"Both of you are completely different. To her, I'm like a lost puppy only relying on my feelings to act when it comes to her. But with you... oh, with you, it's different."

Shu Xian arched a brow at him and asked, "how?"

"Take today, for example," he began, Shu Xian blushing once more as she remembered the naugthy deeds they have done tonight. "Given your innocence and weakness, I could have taken advantage of you. I could have said yes to your words a moment ago, but I chose not to."

"Why?"

Shu Xian sounded like a little girl asking an elder a question. With Pan An patient with her, he just answered her truthfully, giving her another kiss but now on the knuckles of her hand that he held.

"Because I want our first time to be special, Shu Xian. Not only based because of curiosity and sexual drive. I want to connect with you emotionally because I do not want to hurt you, either. I want it to be something sentimental. I want it to be something memorable not only for me, but also for you because you matter to me."

And with that, tears started forming in her eyes as she felt her heart welling up from within her. With Pan An's lips now lovingly claiming hers, she melted in his arms as she now felt the sincerity in his words.

And from this moment on, she believed him. She knew that she had to believe him.

With all her heart, and with all that she is since he did choose her after all the time that he was all alone and moping.