Chapter 60: Chapter 20: Their Feelings.
The first night we spent at the apartment was chaotic. I forgot how often the two women sang their wonderful songs, but the pain in my waist was too real.
[You are so fake]
"What do you mean?" I asked, sitting on the black single-seat chair with Eternia on my shoulder early in the morning.
[Those girls are so exhausted they cannot walk, not to mention your strength almost shattered their bones when you started to get excited...]
"Mmmm, but what could I do."
Slowly running my fingers through her glossy hair as we waited together quietly.
"The fact that Haruka never abandoned me made me so happy I couldn't stop myself and Elizabeth and her crazy eyes and jealousy. It was addictive to see her become a little dangerous each time I played with Haruka instead."
[One of these days, you'll get stabbed... Not by my joke knives, either. A real blade]
I was happy for Eternia's worry, but we were sitting here at this time for one reason, and it caused my stomach to churn with nervous feelings as if rats were being chased by cats inside me.
"Where is Lupera and that dunce?"
[Lupera is going to support Haruka and Asteria Elizabeth.]
[You don't dislike the idea of them entering the dungeon together, right?]
"Can I be honest..."
Since only Eternia was around, the girls were sleeping in Elizabeth's room, their loud snores and sleeping sounds echoing through the open door from upstairs.
[Of course, I would never ask you to lie or change yourself]
"I don't know how to feel... You know me so well; it feels like once they started exploring the dungeons enough..."
"Won't they both realise that I am just another guy, nothing overly special; my mental issues make me worse than another guy..."
[Rai...]
"Don't get me wrong; I want them to be stronger so they are safe. But I worry that they will realise I am not as special as they treat me, which terrifies me."
[(Even if I tell you the truth, many of the secrets we hold about you. You would still not accept my words. It is too soon.)]
[(However, I am so happy. To see you reflecting so sincerely, Rai.)]
[(That's another step to becoming a better man.)]
Eternia became silent, but as I felt her soft lips against my cheek, the quiet smack and warmth spread from the area.
Somehow I knew she was supporting me and telling me.
It's okay to go at your pace.
Do your best and slowly become special enough that they won't leave you.
"Thanks, Eternia."
[(And out of nowhere, why can you see through my little actions and make my heart race despite saying you aren't special?)]
[A goddess doesn't just fall for anyone, Rai—let's take it slowly.]
Her small hand grasped my fingertip as she hugged it gently.
[Together]
"Ah... together sounds good."
***
The time was 6:30 am, and I grasped my phone; now sitting in my room with the silence surrounding me, Eternia headed back to the dungeon as she needed to charge like always.
Now I was going to face the biggest problem I have.
Tapping the phone, I dialled my first number in speed dial. A feeling of anxiety and tightness in my chest mixed in a confusing whirlwind as the dial tone played twice before breaking as a woman's seductive voice answered.
"R-RAi!?"
"Rai, where have you been? Why didn't you call me? What is this huge amount of money... Are you okay? You've not done anything bad; no one is harvesting your organs, right!?"
Mother...
"Ohh Rai, Mommy missed you very much! Don't keep her waiting! Please speak to me... It feels like you have been gone for so long, and I am so lonely~ without you."
I never expected Mother to react like this after seeing the cash transferred.
Was she worried and lonely...
Why couldn't I think more of her feelings if I was suddenly gone... Yet the churning feeling in my stomach grew worse; I wanted to cry but couldn't... Mother, I'm sorry... The words won't come out like I want them!
"Mother... This is all a misunderstanding, don't worry."
"Rai, where are you!? Come home now; Mommy has a surprise for you, and we can hug and kiss together! Everything will be okay then, right? Maybe it is a little late, but your mother will become the perfect adult for her son's sake!"
"Mother, I can't-"
"No! No! Don't say that to your mother! Everything will be better with Mommy, so let's return to the old apartment and live together again, okay? Right, Rai?"
It was likely just luck or a fluke... But I could hear the emotions in my mother's voice.
Something I had struggled with for most of my life, not knowing if she was happy, sad, mad or disappointed...
Mother is lonely and sad... and I can hear her crying!
"Mother... I wanted to make you proud; now I have a good job; for now, the details are a little secret, and someone like me cannot have a pure white business..."
"What do you mean!?"
"B-But even though my work isn't normal, it pays a lot, and I am looking after myself and eating healthy. So Mother, don't worry about the money I send, okay? At this rate, I should be able to pay our debts off within 6 months. All of it."
"Rai, please come back..."
Mother, can't you see that I cannot go back there!
"Mommy is trying her best to understand your words, and I can tell you are serious and being careful... But I am so lonely and miss you..."
"Mother, can you promise me that you will use the money I send you, also the key... That is for you and Aki."
"The keys?"
I took a deep breath, knowing Mother would never guess or believe unless I spelt it out clearly, as a certain idiot would not tell her.
"Mother, that key is for you and Aki's new home. In a neighbourhood with security and far away from bad people from here. It will be a safer and happier place. Aki should already have one, and it has the address on the tag. Please, move into it as soon as possible..."
I could feel the sound of the receiver shaking in her hand; maybe Mother dropped it?
Her voice seemed to tremble as she whimpered quietly and seemed to blame herself for being useless...
But why is she apologising to her senior and brother-in-law?
"Mother, please look after yourself and find happiness."
"RAI!"
The phone went dead, leaving me silent as I placed the phone down and lay down on the bed.
"Even if we are separated by distance... I hope Mother will understand."
My body collapsed to the bed; my head began to ring like someone playing a loud alarm into a megaphone, tears filling my eyes while I curled into a ball.
The soft bed was comfortable, but why did I only feel pain?
I didn't want it to be so hard to speak to my mother; why couldn't I tell her everything, ask her to live with me, or that we would live close together...
Eternia.... where are you?
I need you.
My eyes began to feel heavy as I heard the door slide open... was it Elizabeth or Haruka. Can they make this horrible feeling of self-loathing fade away?
Somehow, darkness enveloped my mind before a soft hand stroked my head... It was gentle, reminding me of being a young boy with my mother.
But why does Mother only look 17 in these memories... Was Mother always so young?
***
(Eternia POV)
I heard his call as my body slept in the cold, dark space between worlds. His desperate plea for me sounded, causing my very existence to tremble.
He needs me.
Even if it caused my both to crack, the broken limbs due to the curse are causing me agony... Tears flooded my cheeks...
"I have to go to him..."
Slowly pulling my body from my cocoon-like position, I opened my eyes wide and reached into Rai's world, opened the door to his bedroom and stumbling in, my damaged legs collapsing on the bed beside his curling body.
It hurts... like thousands of powerful hands are tearing me apart.
His tears stain the new sheets; what a crybaby you are... Yet I cannot endure leaving you alone like this. I noticed the phone still flashing on the desk, the caller ID I was familiar with...
"You tried your best, Rai..."
His soft hair felt even silkier in my true form, like plush velvet sliding through my fingers, desperately holding onto my arm in his light sleep.
"You did so well, Rai."
Seeing his gentle smile return as he softly snored in my arms, I thought the pain of my body slowly falling apart was nothing. Ah... What magic did this boy cast on me so deeply to make me fall for him?
(Eternia POV end)
(Rai POV)
Like a faint melody from a music box, I heard a sweet and gentle voice cooing as the warm air caused the hairs on the back of my neck and arms to rise.
"You did so well, Rai."
Eternia!
When did she get here, and what is wrong with her body!? Eternia was trembling and in so much pain, but everything was strange! I cannot move... cannot speak!
Eternia!
I screamed in my mind, but she couldn't hear me; as her beautiful blonde hair stroked my cheeks, she gently sang for hours...
Yet I was sleeping, this was a dream, and I couldn't tell her it was okay... that she needed to take better care of herself...
Like the statue I saw in the dungeon, the first statue where I molested her... the cracks... small damage to the stone... it was all on her body now.
A crack ran down her chest... a deep crater like a spider's web on her abdomen, bleeding as it deteriorated.
Eternia, it's okay! Go back... take care of yourself!
Nothing worked, and she would not respond. I couldn't communicate, and the sun was rising outside, yet she remained beside me; the fear, worry and self-hatred were gone...
All thanks to her.
Everything I have today is all thanks to Eternia... When will I be able to protect and fix her broken body?
This is all a dream... so I will treasure and remember your warmth.
My consciousness fell into the darkness again as I would wake up to a silent room and a day without her beside me.