Chapter 48 Apocalypse Party
Item Storage
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Item: Krunk Olympus (10)
Gifter: Greek God Zeus
Grade: Epic
Description: Wine [Cask]
Effect: A [buzz] that a true god can only experience.
Warning! It can give the drinker a legendary head-splitting hangover.
Gift Note: "You're ambitious, so I thought you'd like to live it up like a true god."
Video name: Candidate uses enemy attacks as mood lighting for his party airline service!
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Item: Hephaestus' Axe
Gifter: Greek God Hephaestus
Grade: Legendary [Lowered to Epic, Adjusts to Skill Level]
Description: Mythology's Most Dangerous Hangover remedy. (1)
Effect: …
… and cures head-splitting headaches.
Gift Note: "Do not swallow anything given to you from Zeus. If you're stupid enough to do so, I gave you something to ease your suffering."
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Item: Odin's Mead (11)
Gifter: Norse God Odin
Grade: Epic
Description: Alcohol of the Norse god Odin [Cask].
Effect: 50% increase in STR and STA, 80% decrease in cognitive ability.
Gift Note: "Zeus wants to outdo me. Well, his pettiness is your reward. Here's some alcohol fit for a real god! Hahahahaha!"
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Leon blinked twice when he read the descriptions of the alcohol the head gods gave him.
Putting aside Odin's godly pettiness for adding (one) more cask of wine, there was no way in hell he'd give his members and haremites the party drinks he received!
Luckily, there was an item that made Leon sigh in relief.
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Item: Aegir's Ale (10)
Gifter: Norse God Aegir
Grade: Legendary
Description: Ten kegs of the best ale in Norse mythology. Reserved for warrior feasts fit for gods. [Keg]
Effect: 50% increase in happiness, sociability, and confidence.
Gift Note: "I can't sigh in this note. Otherwise, I would be. Petty men are fighting over their sketchy drinks.
I feel the need to send you real alcohol fit for gods, so you don't get traumatized forever.
*Sigh* - A"
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"Thank you, Aegir. You gave me a sliver of faith when I needed it most." Leon chuckled with a glint of insanity flashing across his eyes.
"Let's see what other delights we've got here."
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Item: The American Dream (See Note)
Gifter: Writing God Thompson
Grade: Legendary
Description: A briefcase full of everything you need for a three-day trip.
Effect: Everything. Absolutely everything.
Gift Note: You have good taste in names. Since you've been sent off on a mission, I figured I'd give you an alternative to working.
Video Name: Candidate uses enemy attacks as mood lighting for his party airline service!
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"That's literally all I really need." Leon laughed.
The lively park of women was now chatting happily after Leon's declaration of protection and the following applause.
However, the park fell silent again when items began dropping from Leon's item storage.
Their eyes widened in shock when they saw ten kegs of legendary beer and a single op briefcase that was overkill for a hippie festival drop to the ground.
It didn't stop there.
Leon pulled out twenty bottles of Ariel's Bubbling Wine, two crates of goblets, and ten vials of detoxification potions he bought for 50 SP a piece in Aphrodite's corner.
They were emergencies, and he'd only buy more if absolutely necessary.
Then Leon looked up at all of the ladies surrounding them.
"Ladies!" Leon announced with a grin, "Today, I saw countless faces of people who were, pissed off, exhausted, and terrorized. And do you know what I thought?"
A wave of confused whispers rippled through the crowd. The women looked up at him with awkward excitement.
"Shoulda booked a flight."
One chuckle triggered a wave of laughter that waved through the park like falling dominos.
"Air travel has always had a lower mortality rate." Leon added with a cheeky grin.
The Lemmox sky was filled with cheers.
"Ladies! A few dozen men are watching our festive get-together from that building with jealous, disgruntled faces." Leon continued while pointing to a large building to the east.
The shadows ducked lower, causing a wave of awkward laughter from the women.
"Do you know what I thought when I saw them?" He asked with a slight smile.
Anticipation filled the atmosphere.
"Sucks to be you."
More laughter erupted in the park, alerting countless groups in the area.
"Should've been born with a vagina."
An explosion of cheers burst through the half-destroyed ruins of old Lemmox.
"Ladies! The gods created a game for their amusement. They created a Sanctuary on a death strip to bring out the worst in humanoid kind!" Leon roared.
"It was a false narrative where hope was on the edge of death! Only those strong enough to not need it can get in, and those lucky enough to be here without needing it can only live in comfort thirty days before they die."
The women fell silent from Leon's crushing words.
"Do you know what I thought when I heard about this Sanctuary?"
Nervous whispers murmured through the group. Everyone in the area had connected synesthesia connecting their anxiety-stricken emotions.
"Thanks for a safe party spot!" Leon roared.
The synesthesia reversed instantly, and the negative emotions abruptly switched in a vibrant explosion.
The women burst into cheers at the frivolous declaration.
"Think about it, ladies!" Leon yelled, "For the first time—in perhaps all of history—you can party it up without fear of a single creeper harming you. That's not conjecture; that's a fact!"
Shocked ripples of delight washed over the park like a tidal wave.
"Not only that, you're sitting next to two overpowered women that can level an entire city that tries to harm you. You're next to two women who unequivocally [prove] that gender has no measure in cultured society!"
"Yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
The women screamed in pride and zealous fervor.
"Ladies! The gods use this event as a chessboard and our lives as pawns for their amusement. Do you know what I thought when I realized that?"
The area had a pulse. Everyone could feel the high energy washing over the park.
Over a hundred people surrounded the park, peeking from side streets and building windows.
"What!?" A woman screamed back excitedly.
"THANKS FOR THE FREE BOOZE!" Leon roared as he pointed to the copious quantities of alcohol before him.
"YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
A festive environment detonated in the area, sending shock waves through the Lemmox city streets.
"They're still sending us booze!" Leon laughed while emptying dozens of bodies of wine, brandy, cognac, tequila, and rum from his item storage.
"And this swill is all epic grade or above! I can't even give you the legendary drinks I got because it doesn't meet the safety standards of the Lemmox Sanctuary!"
Laughter rang through the night, cutting through the gloomy atmosphere like a hot knife.
"Ladies!" Leon roared, "Tonight, not a single person, beast, creature, demon, or god can harm you! You do not have to live in fear for anything!"
Cheers exploded and rained down from the heavens.
"So tonight, let's meet our fantasy neighbors, laugh, drink and celebrate the birth of a cultured civilization!"
"YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
A massive celebration unfolded. Fantasy race women of all varieties grabbed goblets and filled them with Aegir's ale.
The spirits lived up to their godly reputation. After only a few drinks, every woman had the confidence to speak to everyone.
A live stream raised awareness; soon, three hundred women were in the park having a blast.
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Ding! [God's announcement! God Candidate Leon Traxler is now LIVE: God Candidate uses Sanctuary to Playboy an Apocalypse Party.]
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It became a legendary party that constantly gave rise to absurd moments that earned rewards from the gods.
Leon used body paint to mark up white tents with signs that read:
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[All Women Welcome to the Apocalypse Party]
[Men Aren't. You Can Die Trying to Kill Me Tomorrow.]
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Men who tried sneaking in were repelled 100 feet backward by a violent pulse that smashed them into buildings.
It was a sight as tragic as it was hilarious and so common that it became a meme.
Literally.
After the tenth time it happened, there was a god's announcement.
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Ding! [God's announcement! God Candidate Leon Traxler has released a new video: Best of Party Crashers; Catapulting Jealous Men in the Apocalypse.]
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Even after men saw the compilation, they still tried getting in. The main reason involved a god's announcement.
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[God's announcement! God Candidate Lindy Crest fall has released a new video: Lindy's Wet T-Shirt Contest: Hot Cyclone and Bubble Bath Edition. The Most Cultured Shower in the Apocalypse.
Note: nudity censored to gods and candidates.]
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Lindy was holding wet t-shirt content because Leon whispered that she'd get Aphrodite and Eros brand products for days if she made something super entertaining.
He found someone with earth magic to erect walls, closing it off from the public.
Women of all races lined up with white shirts given to them by the sanctuary. Then Lindy hit them with a hot, lower-powered Cyclone Shot.
The adorableness of beast girls shaking water and suds from their ears was a hit. It filled Leon with desires he never had before.
He immediately understood one thing: he wanted a cat girl in his harem simply to feel secure petting their furry ears.
Some women weren't shy and took off their shirts completely to make the most of their showers. One canine woman with dark, almost black, shoulder-length hair took off her shirt to showcase abs that would make a greek statue blush. (XD)
Her dark olive skin glistened against the sun, and her abs made cultured waterfalls down her stomach.
Leon thought he was slacking and determined to get stronger to feel less ashamed.
He was allowed to join partially because women were much more confident and drunk. However, it was mainly because they quickly trusted him.
He already had two beautiful women and could get any woman to sleep with him for negative reasons, but didn't.
Since he was [one man] who chose to protect them instead of taking advantage of them and would be with him forever, they didn't mind stripping naked around him.
Something that sold the most skeptical women was his lack of emotions. He didn't react to their half-naked bodies in the slightest.
Instead, he focused on cat ears and the impressiveness of abs instead! Many were [offended] that he looked at their bodies with sheer ambivalence.
While everyone was informed he had no emotions, they didn't believe it because they didn't connect psychopaths to cold case files.
If they did, they'd realize that psychopaths had desires and could be disturbingly charming.
That's [the problem].
Leon was the embodiment of a psychopath. Yet most didn't view him that way because they attributed that word to cold, ruthless killers who met face slaps with genocide.
Nevertheless, women got used to it and enjoyed his presence because things always got wild when he arrived.
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[God's announcement! God Candidate Leon Traxler has released a new video: Hot Tubbin' in the Nine Spheres of Heaven. Steamy Scenes in the Prime Mobile.] (2)
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[A/N: Who's ready for character development in the most cultured way possible? 200 power stone milestone mass release~2. :)
(XD) Shout out to Blue_Robin for kicking off the requests for haremites. I got the idea because they made a formal request. Now it's open to everyone! So go wild in the last chapter's comment section if you have ideas. Have a discussion and have fun.
Note: The American Dream references Hunter S. Thompson's book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream. I've referenced Thompson as a writing god, so please, Random House and Rolling Stone... please don't seek royalties. Or at least let me remove it! You're getting free, positive advertising!]