Chapter 181
181 v. Revelations
His strong hands steadied her as she continued to throw up her breakfast in the sink. She told him to stay far since she didn’t want him getting dirtied.
But he insisted on staying by her side, his strong arms supporting her as his hand swept down to her back. He carried her to the bed and lay her gently on the mattress.
“I’m so dirty,” she cried.
“Hey, don’t cry, queenie,” he wrapped her in a comforting hug.
“I’ll clean you up,” he whispered when she didn’t stop crying.
She hated being this emotional. She already knew how much of a hassle it is taking care of her and keeping her safe when he has no obligation toward her.
She didn’t want to add to his burdens but here she is exactly doing that. Crying like a child in his arms as he consoled her. When she finally calmed down, he left her to go to the comfort room.
He has a basin and a towel in his hand when he returned, half-naked probably from the fact that she soiled his t-shirt too in the process of hurling out everything she has taken for breakfast.
He smiled at her and started cleaning her up with the warm towel. When he started to change her clothes she had the courage to whisper, “Can I use your clothes.”
.....
She blushed when he looked at her curiously, her cheeks burning hot from the way he stared, “Of course,” he answered.
He took out a white t-shirt which was obviously oversized for her, she raised her arms in the air and let out a giggle as he dressed her in his own clothes.
She opted for her own underwear of course, and let him tuck her to bed amidst the fluffy blankets and pillows.
He joined her after he cleaned up the room, sitting at the edge of the bed as he wrapped his arms around her, “How are you feeling?” he asked her.
“I am feeling better. But beyond embarrassed,” she hugged him back, pressing her cheek against his chest.
He caressed her hair, “You don’t have to think about that. It wasn’t at all embarrassing. It is just me.”
“You say that but look at all the inconveniences I have brought you. And now I even dirtied up your room, soiled your clothes, and,” he kissed her before she can finish her sentence.
It was an intense and deep kiss, one that made her wonder if he has lost his mind. She had just thrown up after all.
“See, it doesn’t matter. So stop thinking about that,” he said, now trailing his fingers to her ear.
She giggled when he pulled her earlobe a bit, “Stop that.”
He chuckled and did it again, “You are cute when you blush. It makes me feel happy seeing you like that,” he whispered.
She heard her heart thump faster against her chest from what he just said. She really couldn’t be blamed for feeling this way for him, everything he has done seems to assure her she would do nothing else but fall.
He is far too perfect, really. She is defenseless against his charms. She knows that now.
“Don’t say weird things like that,” she castigated him. If he continued to say things like this she fears that she would just start to fall even deeper, something she didn’t wish to do.
“You are always so stubborn, queenie. Do you know how much it pains me when you refuse my affections,” his voice sounded hurt, and the look in his eyes was like that of a wounded animal.
“Because it is unnecessary. I do not wish to form any emotional bond with you, Dom. My only concern is to deal with this situation right now and to finally be freed from the yakuza,” she knew he won’t understand.
Like always his hold tightened painfully around her before he leaned and claimed her lips. Thrusting his tongue inside as their salivas mixed.
Their tongues danced in perfect harmony as his fingers explored her body. His fingers slid up inside her shirt as he started squeezing, caressing, pinching each of her tender buds.
She arched her back as a confident smile adorned his face, “You always do love lying.”
She kept silent so as to not anger him further, “Why don’t you keep telling me all these lies my love? We both know that’s not exactly how you feel?” his intense gaze kept her still.
“What do you think is wrong with me? You always forget to buy me any medicine to stop the dizziness. So I figured you must know something I don’t, about my condition,” she changed the topic because answering his question will be too uncomfortable.
One, she didn’t want to lie when he is being like this. He can’t be crossed when he says a warning like that. Two, she can’t voice out how she feels either. Because they both know this won’t last.
Her main objective is to be as far away from the yakuza. And he is still the second in command. Even despite all this trouble, one day when her father dies, the faction that supported him will push his name to be the next leader.
She didn’t want to have to do anything with the yakuza’s dirty work. She didn’t want to see more violence. Moreover, she didn’t want to be that doll being kept at the yakuza house, merely existing until the day she dies.
There are only certain possibilities that may arise if she stays with him, given she can believe that he has feelings for her as well.
One, he gets tired of her and discards her as a useless toy once this is all over. Second, he marries her and keeps her locked up. And the worse, is she ends up like her mom.
She closed her eyes so as not to let her mind go to the horrors of what has happened to her mother. It is far too much and far worse than she could handle.
“You’ve gotten pale. Do you want to go to the sink? I can carry you, queenie,” was his kind offer.
She shook her head, “No, I am fine. I’m just worried about what may be happening to my body. What is it? Why won’t you let me drink any medicine?”
He kept silent, but his face was filled with guilt. He knew exactly what she was going through. That much she could tell.
“You have to tell me. It is my own body and you have kept me in the dark until now,” she felt his hands slip away, his body moved a bit to let some distance between them.
He caressed her cheek and took her hands, kissing them both one after the other, “I am sorry,” he whispered.
“I don’t understand,” she said, truthfully. She is confused by his words.
How can he be guilty of her condition? It just didn’t make sense to her. She stopped and her eyes widened in shock.
He can’t be thinking that. It just doesn’t make sense. He was able to keep all his sexual partners free from the possibility of conceiving that she naturally assumed he has gone through a vasectomy like many in the yakuza did. How could he do this to her?
She hit his chest with her clenched fists, “Take that back! You cant do this to me! Why didn’t you help me in taking precautions? I thought it was safe! You helped all those other women! How could you do this to me?”
“I am sorry. But you don’t have to worry. I will never let anything happen to you, or the baby. I will be responsible for all this. I’ll take care of the baby. I’ll take care of you,” his voice was serious.
She laughed from the frustration and anger that she felt and the impossibility of this situation she found herself in, “How do you intend to do that? How do you intend to take care of me and the baby?”
“I’ll marry you. I’ll take care of both you and the baby, forever. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I’ll provide for you. I swear this setup will only be temporary. I’ll make a way to regain power so we can go back,” his voice sounded urgent, as if he was afraid he would be cut off before he even had a chance of completing what he had to say.
“Go back where? I will not go back to the yakuza house! You know this. You knew my plan. I shared it with you. I told you how I feel towards the place,” she started crying, pushing him away when he embraced her.
“I’ll be better than your father. I promise. I promise I will give you everything you wanted. I will never do the things he did to your mom. I will be better. I swear it. I swear to every god in this universe, that I will do better so you don’t have to run away,” his arms tightened their hold around her, so much that it hurt her.
“You knew what happened then to my family. You knew what happened to my mother. You knew what that old bastard did to her! And you kept silent. Like everyone in that place you all helped him hide from the law what he has done. You did deprived justice from my mom!” she felt her body turn clammy and all her strength disappeared from her body.
He was really a yakuza. How can she ever forget that? This man tolerated all the crimes that happened before his eyes, rejoiced in violence, and did all that was necessary to regain power.
He is someone that is ultimately the same as his father. She couldn’t trust him. That alone made her heart feel like it has been stabbed over and over by a knife.
To think she has fallen in love with a man that was someone like her father. The knowledge alone made her feel hopeless.