I am the Queen

BlackPine Country, La Leonora Casa Restaurant

"My husband rarely left without me. He said that just a minute away from me, he would die," chuckled a woman with black hair.

"I'm so envious. I wish my husband is that clingy," seconded another donned in jewels so bright it hurts the eyes.

"Oh please, everyone knows that your husband is so strict on the outside but a darling on the inside. I mean, looked at you. He practically showers you with jewels," chimed another.

"But of course, no one can top the title of Mrs. Cole," another said.

Every eye focused on a woman whose face toppled even the youngest stars.. Embellished in rare jewels and customized dress, she looked at everyone with her ashen blue eyes.

"Well . . . it's like a dream," she said, voice so soothing and face so ethereal. She was really loved by God.

Everyone squealed like age was just a number.

Alexa Cole raised her hand and smiled. "Let's not talk about my life." Her attention then shifted to her side. To a woman who had a simple face and simple dress.

"Let's talk about our friend here who we didn't see for so many years," she said with a pleasant voice, but eyes dead as her smile. "How are you, Kristine? I haven't heard from you since . . . since my wedding."

Everyone's mouth suddenly clamped tight. They knew that Alexa was amiable and a role model for women. At least on the outside. Alexa, or rather Leonora West, her name when she was still a maiden, was the Queen in BlackPine and the talk in their inner circles. Being the sole heir to her family's multibillion-dollar empire, she was sought after. And when she married into the Cole, which was expected, she became the Empress.

No one could go against her. Not even the ex-girlfriend of Alex Cole nor Alex Cole himself.

Kristine flashed her dimpled smile, and her face went from simple to divine. Even her wrinkles complimented her face. "Oh, I'm still the same. I just went traveling and exploring the world. You'll be surprised at how many people I've met and cultures I've experienced."

"Oh . . . ," a madam said. A smile glued on her face, but her brows were in one line. "You mean . . . you're still not married?"

"No," Kristine answered simply.

"You mean all these years, you're not married and don't have children yet?" another said, eyes almost popping out.

"No," Kristine answered again.

"Oh my God. I can't believe it. I mean . . . I can never imagine life without my husband and children anymore."

"True. The meaning of life is by birthing life. You should get married and have children of your own. Though I don't know if you can anymore . . ."

"What are you saying? Of course, she still can. Technology is so advanced these days that you can even have children without birthing one."

"But where's the joy in that? You don't get to experience to be a mother who carried your child for nine months."

All the ladies argued and forgot about Kristine while Alexa's attention was always on the former.

"So tell me . . . ," Alexa started while the others were busy voicing their opinions. "Why aren't you still married?"

Kristine drank her juice and licked her lips before she looked Alexa in the eyes. "Not all women wanted to marry. I just simply found my happiness exploring the world."

"Really? A shame . . . you miss half of your life. I wonder if you're the one who married my husband, you'd still say that."

"Well, are you then . . ."

Alexa's head tilted a little. "Am I what?"

"Happy?"

Alexa's eyes lost its shine, but the smile on her lips never wavered.

"Like I said . . . it's like a dream."

  ----

Back in her mansion, Alexa sat in front of her dresser, removing her makeup. Kristine was back, and hopefully not for good.

Removing her false lashes, she thought about the meeting the Coles were having. And, of course, she was never allowed to be a part of. In the first place, was she ever allowed to be a part of anything?

Ever since she married into the Coles, she could not take part in any family meetings. She was not allowed to take care of her sons. She was not allowed to make decisions without consulting the family. She was not even allowed to keep her real name. Everything she did and would do, she had to consult with the Coles. Her life belongs to the Coles.

Looking at herself, she couldn't recognize her face without the makeup. She couldn't look at her lifeless eyes and ashen skin. The veins in the back of her head were acting again, and she rummaged through her drawer to get her medicines.

The mansion was big. Her tables were full. Her wardrobe was four stories in space, and she had the best access to everything money could buy.

And yet here she was . . . depressed and alone.

How did her life turn out this way?

That's right . . . since she married that man.

Knock!

Knock!

The door opened, but she didn't bother to look who it was.

"Madam, Master Alex Cole is here to see you. He is in the study room," the butler said and bowed before leaving the room.

She sighed. She couldn't even say no. Every summons, she had to comply. Every demand she had to heed. Every rule she had to follow.

It's suffocating.

Not bothering if the mascara on her eyes smudged and the lipstick on her lips scattered on her chin, she flung the oil balm on the table and went out of her room.

"At least mind your appearance."

It was the first thing that Alex Cole said when she entered.

"If father were here, you wouldn't hear the end of it," he added.

Alexa ignored him and went into the wine rack. "Why are you here?"

It was silent for a moment before Alex snatched the file from his bag and put it on the table.

"Sit, and let's talk."

Alexa faced him and drank a glass of whiskey in one gulp. Her lips skewed up in a shrewd smile as she walked towards her husband and sat in front of him.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Divorce papers."

Alexa's smile froze, and her eyes shot to Alex. "This is the first thing you say to me after months of not seeing each other?"

"You are the one who chose to stay away."

Alexa dropped the papers. "Does your father know about this?"

"Yes." Alex paused and looked at his wife. She lost weight. Again. Her pale, sickly skin cast shadows over her beauty.

"What's wrong?" he asked, bothered by the pain on her face. "I thought that you'd finally be happy? Isn't this what you always wanted?"

Alexa blinked. She lost hold of her emotions for a second. She shook her head and chuckled. "After all these years, you still don't get it . . . ," she murmured.

But this always had been you . . . always using your head rather than your heart.

"After all the surgery done with your eyes to restore your sight, you are still blind as ever. It was better when you still wore your glasses. At least, you could see somewhat."

She shot to her feet and swayed towards the door before Alex could open his mouth. "It made sense. Now that Kristine is back, you couldn't wait to get rid of me."

Alex's brows crumpled. "Kristine?"

"Just put it there," she said, cutting him off.

"Aren't you at least going to talk to me?" Alex said, stopping her.

Alexa looked him in the eyes. "I'd rather sleep."

She then walked out of the room.

The door closed, and her tears fell. Her shoulders racked as she held herself. She couldn't let out her cries. He would hear. She thought she was already numb, but just another word from him set her world in crumbles.

Dragging her body to her room, she laid on her bed. She closed her eyes, but the tears wouldn't stop.

Their life started with them and ended with them. Wasn't that their vows? But it turned out it was only hers to keep.

When did it all start?

When they were young, he was never the popular kid. The only redeeming quality to him was his name. He was skinny and short and had big round glasses. His nose was always stuck on a book, and he never paid anyone attention. That's fine. She never wanted his attention in the first place.

She was the bell in every ball—the muse in every class. Attention followed whenever she went. It was always that way. It was the norm whenever she goes.

But when puberty hits, everyone's world turned upside down when he came to class one day. Just months of holiday, and he turned into a celebrity. He got taller. His jaw became prominent. His body was well toned with lean muscles and his looks . . . oh his looks . . . he was a Cole alright.

One thing that didn't change was his nose that was still stuck on a book. Not that everyone minded. It added to his mysterious, non-approachable appeal.

High school changed. Every day was a battle for his attention, and she was no exception.

She stalked him everywhere, and it was no secret in school that she was interested in him. But he never returned her affection. He never did to anyone, and that was fine. She enjoyed the chase. The twitching of his brows whenever her love-nothings fell out from his locker. The crumpling of his face whenever she just looked at him when he was reading in the library. His constipated look whenever she stalked him during class and weekends. Those were the good times.

But her happiness was short-lived in the appearance of Kristine Rogers. A simple girl with mixed blood and foreign descent. Shocked was an understatement. The whole school practically went into chaos when out of nowhere, he and Kristine became a couple.

Years of pursuing amounted to nothing in the face of true love. Was that it? It might be it. Because even she married him through the agreement of their families, after birthing three boys for him, after she sacrificed her freedom to follow the rules of his family just to be with him . . . his heart remained closed. Even before, even now, and maybe even in the future.

Maybe it was really the time to let go. Maybe it was time to wake up from this nightmarish dream.