I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Discord: https://dsc.gg/reapercomics

◈ I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

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The Counselor I

For all the chattering we’ve been doing these days about the aftermath of the Mastermind’s defeat—a change akin to an aftershock—we’ve yet to discuss the greatest inflection point.

“Hey, mister.”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve got something I want to talk about.”

The red-haired Oh Dok-seo, the instigator of many changes in my otherwise monotonous loop of a life, approached me one day with the true earth-shaking revelation.

“No, it’s not about taking a break. Although... hearing you casually assume that ‘Oh Dok-seo must be taking another break’ has hurt my feelings. This wound is so deep that I doubt I’ll be able to tap away at my typewriter until it heals. So it’s not because of my laziness but solely because of your insensitivity that I’ll be taking a hiatus.”

“I feel like the reputation of authors everywhere is plummeting as we speak, but sure, what does it matter?”

“Anyway, my concern is about something else.”

With more hiatuses than serialized days, Dok-seo might better label herself as a “break-taker” rather than a “writer.” Some might even say she had reached the realm of the inhuman.

“I’ve been having strange dreams lately.”

“Dreams?”

I straightened up immediately. Since the spread of the Void Poison throughout the world, dreams had become humanity’s most vulnerable weak point—a gateway through which psychological viruses could come and go.

For someone like Oh Dok-seo, a Miko of the Infinite Metagame, her dreams couldn’t simply be dismissed.

“What kind of dreams?” I demanded.

“Well, don’t laugh when I tell you.”

“I won’t laugh.”

“In my dream, I’m the Saintess.”

“Pfft.”

“......”

“No, I wasn’t laughing. It’s just, a sneeze caught me off guard. Please, go on.”

"...Anyway, I’m the Saintess, you know."

"Pfft."

"Ah, damn! You wanna die, mister?!"

I hurriedly calmed my mind. Even for someone like me, who had trained in meditation techniques for a long time, it wasn’t an easy task.

“Anyway, I’m the Saintess. But when I look around, everything is frozen— No, not frozen. It’s more like everything’s stopped moving.”

Huh?

“No one moves, no matter where I go. There’s this building, it kind of feels like the Tower of Babel. And on its rooftop, you’re just standing there.”

Wait.

“I mean, as the Saintess, I call out to you, but you don’t even breathe or move―”

“Hold on,” I interrupted finally.

“Hmm?”

“You don’t need to explain further.”

For reference, this occurred during the 689th cycle, right after we defeated the Mastermind. It was also before I’d explained to Dok-seo how the Saintess had sealed the Goddess of Night, Nut.

Despite that, she had dreamt about what had occurred in 267th cycle, which meant...

“It seems you’ve... Awakened a new ability.”

Dok-seo tilted her head in confusion. “A new ability? Me?”

“Yes.”

Side Story Creation.

Among the spoils gained from defeating the Mastermind, this ability was both the most valuable treasure and the most harrowing consequence.

Regrettably, our world lacked the convenience of something like a status window. Or, to be more precise, there had been one briefly, before it was obliterated.

Thus, Awakeners had to figure out their abilities on their own.

“Can’t we just ask the Infinite Metagame?”

“And trust that thing? Really?”

“Oh.”

“Remember during the Mastermind raid? We borrowed its power once, and not only did it demand compensation, it was also vying for the chance to stab me in the back.” I let out a wry laugh. “Expecting altruism from an Anomaly is the surest way to get screwed over, Dok-seo. You probably feel an instinctive affinity for the Infinite Metagame because you’re its Miko. But keep that feeling in check whenever possible. Being a Miko isn’t a role just anyone can handle.”

“Alright,” she agreed reluctantly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

We began investigating her newfound ability in earnest.

“Let’s start with something simple. Besides the dreams, have you experienced any auditory or visual hallucinations recently?”

“Oh. Yeah, I have.”

We were conducting the session at our hideout in the Inunaki Tunnel, 1,200 meters underground. To set the mood, I’d stolen Noh Do-hwa’s doctor’s coat to wear. Sharing was caring in the apocalypse, after all.

(I got scolded for that later.)

“What kind of hallucinations?”

“There’s no specific pattern,” Dok-seo answered. “Sometimes it’s your voice, sometimes it’s Yo-hwa’s. It just happens out of nowhere, usually while I’m walking.”

“Can you recall the exact words you heard?”

“Hmm... Oh, yesterday I heard Seo-rin’s voice. It went something like this.”

Then, in an exaggerated impression, Dok-seo she recited, “Hello, Undertaker? Let’s go on a trip. Really? Then I’ll plan the itinerary.”

I tapped my pen against my lips. “That’s...”

“What? What is it?”

“It’s an actual conversation I had.”

The dialogue had taken place during a cycle where I’d traveled to the Uyuni Salt Flats with Dang Seo-rin. The phrasing wasn’t identical, but the difference was nothing worth putting into writing. Likely a result of Dok-seo’s memory being less precise than mine.

“Anything else?” I prompted. “Other hallucinations or visions?”

“Hmm... Sorry, I can’t recall anything specific.”

“That’s fine. This is going to be a long-term process anyway. If you encounter more hallucinations, try to remember the details and tell me.”

“Got it.”

https://dsc.gg/reapercomics

From that day on, I made a conscious effort to spend more time with Dok-seo.

Her hallucinations weren’t alarming at first. As she’d mentioned, most were fleeting and barely memorable. However, as the 689th, 690th, and 691st cycles passed, the hallucinations became increasingly vivid.

“Ah.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Over there... I just saw Seo Gyu’s head explode.”

“......”

Occasionally, while on one of our walks together, Dok-seo would stop to describe “events that didn’t occur this cycle”—past incidents she could never have personally experienced.

“Whoa! What the hell?!”

“What is it now?”

“Potatoes! Potatoes with legs! They’re walking around calling you ‘Mr. Undertaker’ in this creepy tone! Shit, this is definitely a hallucination!”

“......”

Up until that point, she could still clearly distinguish reality from illusion. But after the 692nd cycle, her condition began to rapidly deteriorate.

“Ugh, damn it! Ah-ryeon unnie! I’m doing fine with serialization, so why are you tattling to him?!”

“Dok-seo. Ah-ryeon isn’t here.”

“Huh?” She blinked in confusion. “What? That’s weird. I swear she was just standing there, whispering something to you.”

“......”

Her auditory and visual hallucinations had escalated into what could only be described as hyper-realistic manifestations. Worse, she seemed to struggle more and more to separate these from reality, or, more accurately, from my past.

She was reliving experiences I’d had in previous cycles as hallucinations in the present.

During one particularly bad episode, she burst into tears for no apparent reason while drinking coffee.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

“Dok-seo?” I asked cautiously. “What’s wrong?”

“Just now... Seo-rin unnie was standing under a white pine tree, talking to you so happily...”

“......”

“And then she collapsed. You spoke with her one last time in the hospital room before she died. Afterward, you became the pallbearer at her funeral, and your face...” She trailed off, tears streaming down her cheeks.

It wasn’t something I could brush off any longer.

I discussed her condition with the other members of the Regression Alliance.

[Since this trend emerged after the Mastermind’s defeat, I believe it must be related to that event,] the Saintess theorized.

She often provided the most plausible explanations.

[According to you, Mr. Undertaker, both the Infinite Void and the Infinite Metagame played significant roles in the Mastermind raid. The Infinite Void devoured the Mastermind entirely.]

“Exactly.”

[Then wouldn’t it make sense if the Infinite Metagame also absorbed some of the Mastermind’s powers, though perhaps to a lesser extent?]

She presented her theory in the form of a hunting analogy.

I was the hunter, and the Mastermind was the prey. My two hounds, the Infinite Void and the Infinite Metagame, had torn the prey apart. The Infinite Void was the star player, but the Infinite Metagame had hacked the system, biting into the prey’s hind legs.

As a result, the Admin of the Infinite Metagame had consumed part of the Mastermind’s essence. Consequently, the backlash extended to Oh Dok-seo, its Miko.

“It makes sense,” I said grimly. “Infinite Metagame has always been keen on uncovering my past, running simulations to learn more. It’s likely still doing so even now.”

[Exactly.] The Saintess continued, saying, [If we assume that, it also explains why Dok-seo’s ability has blossomed over time instead of all at once. It’s developing progressively as the cycles continue. It’s a direct reflection of what the Infinite Metagame is doing.]

I sighed. “Frankly, investigating my past isn’t all that interesting, but so be it.”

The Saintess, ever humorless, didn’t react to my grumbling lament.

“I suppose this is a good reminder that no matter how desperate the situation, we should avoid relying on the aid of Outer Gods. I’ll make a note of that for the future.”

[Agreed. But for now, we should focus on alleviating Dok-seo’s symptoms.]

“Do you think it’s serious?”

[Very.]

Unlike me, the Saintess could monitor Dok-seo around the clock. Her observations carried weight.

[Even when she’s alone, she seems to be holding conversations with illusions, manifestations of people you’ve interacted with in past cycles.]

[For instance, right now, she’s writing a novel in her room while mumbling incessantly to herself.]

[Her roommate, Sim Ah-ryeon, is watching her very closely.]

[In fact, she’s not just watching, she’s drawing a comic about it. She seems to find it entertaining.]

[Knowing Ah-ryeon’s thought process, I suspect she’s planning to immortalize Dok-seo’s antics on SG Net as a gag panel.]

Ah-ryeon...

As her guild leader, I wanted to remember her at her best. Yet moments like this tested my patience.

Even guild leaders are human, I’m afraid.

[Above all, over the past few days, Dok-seo has been holding conversations with a phantom version of me. Watching that feels strangely— Oh?]

Then, the telepathic link faltered.

I frowned. “Saintess?”

[......]

“Saintess, what happened? Is something wrong?”

It was a highly unusual occurrence. The Saintess, meticulous to a fault, never faltered like that. Before speaking, she even froze time to rehearse her lines.

She never suddenly stopped talking or stuttered like she did just then.

She claimed it was because she wasn’t eloquent, but from other people’s perspectives, she had always been an effortlessly fluent speaker who had never once stumbled over her words.

Yet now, her telepathic voice wavered.

[No... It’s nothing.]

“Are you sure?”

[Actually, I’m beginning to think we don’t need to worry so much about Dok-seo.]

“What do you mean?”

[Let me refrain from giving away spoilers. I suggest you observe her yourself for the time being.]

Her tone was evasive, leaving me perplexed. Nevertheless, I complied.

If the requirement was patience, I had no equal on this planet.

The very next day, Dok-seo appeared at my door, dark circles under her eyes and a laptop in hand.

“Hey, mister. I wrote something. Can you read it?”

“Huh. You’ve been looking tired lately. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. I got into the zone yesterday and pounded it out in one sitting. Honestly, I haven’t felt this refreshed in ages.”

“Well, if you say so...”

“Hurry up and read it,” she said, shoving the laptop toward me.

I hesitated, then scrolled through the document. Barely a few lines in, my eyes widened in shock.

“What the... Dok-seo, what is this?”

“It’s exactly what it looks like.”

Her expression was unusually serious.

The story she had written wasn’t her usual fare. It wasn’t a fictionalized account based on the anecdotes I’d shared with her.

This was something I could never have told her.

A tale that unfolded entirely beyond my awareness, scenes that transpired when I was absent, events I could never know.

“You mentioned the 267th cycle, right? The one where time was frozen to stop the Goddess of Night, Nut.”

“......”

“This is the story of what happened during that frozen time... told from the Saintess’s perspective.”

It was, without a doubt, a side story.

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