Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Chapter 571: A Bunch of Gossipy Aunts and Uncles

Huis ears burned. He barely resisted the urge to glance back at the trio of seniors. Seniors, we can hear you! Were cultivators! You arent even using the silent voice transmission technique!

Ignore them, the reaper murmured, rolling her eyes.

Elder Sister is wise indeed, Hui said.

The Underworld crashed down around them. Enormous chunks of stone fell from the ceiling as the weary structure gave up the ghost. I barely had to do anything to knock it down. The Underworld was truly on the verge of collapse. I knew that, but to see it first hand is different from understanding it theoretically.

A huge stone dropped off the ceiling and plummeted toward them. The reaper stared upward, drawing her sword.

Hui threw his hand up. A single phoenix peeled off the phoenix fire ring and flew toward the falling stone. The two struck one another. The phoenix flew out the other side, winging up and away. The stone burst into flames, crumbled, and drifted down toward Hui and the reaper as little more than ash.

I had it, the reaper said.

Ah, well, I have to burn it up either way. Theres no need for Elder Sister to exert herself, Hui said.

What a gentleman, Black Dragon commented loudly from across the space.

Hui gave her a look. Eyes still shut, Black Dragon shrugged at him, a small smirk on her face.

Zhubi your mother is so troublesome! How on earth did you end up as such a sweet, polite snake if this was your mother?

The reaper sighed. Why are they acting so coquettish? You already have two wives. Youre a married man. Theres nothing cute or adorable about this.

Theres nothing wrong with having more than one spouse. Bai Xue also has more husbands. And wives, Hui returned. Plenty of people still flirt with them.

What about Li Xiang? What if she found another husband, one stronger than you? the reaper asked.

Am I supposed to tell her no, after I already asked her to become my wife when I had married Bai Xue? Hui asked, confused. It would be crazy to take multiple wives myself, but then tell my wives they couldnt take multiple husbands. What kind of double standard is that?

Of course I can have a harem, but you cant? Small cultivator isnt so domineering. Thats for foolish cultivators who seek death, not me!

The reaper frowned at him. Most men would.

Why? Hui said, furrowing his brows.

Jealousy, the reaper replied.

Hui shook his head vigorously, so vigorously his face turned into a blur. No, no, absolutely not, Elder Sister! Me, jealous? I wouldnt dare! Small cultivator isnt so foolish! Jealousy is a path to death. A path to destruction! True, some fools think love is worth killing over, but I disagree, I thoroughly disagree, Elder Sister! Love and let love! Live and let live! Something as petty as love isnt worth risking my little life over, nor anyone elses! Survival over all!

The reaper snorted. Theres an entire genre of stories and songs about risking ones life for love. Its called romance.

Yes, yes, small cultivator is aware. Ying Lin read enough of those for all of us, Hui said, nodding. He shook his head at the reaper. Thats the kind of thing thats fine as a fantasy, but should stay far away from real life.

Mmm, well, I cant disagree with that, the reaper said. She gave Hui a look, as if seeing him in a new light. You know, youre surprisingly reasonable, for someone who spends so much time playing dead.

Surprisingly? Elder Sister, playing dead is the preeminent sign of reason! Hui insisted.

She laughed. I think almost everyone would disagree with that.

Ah, its true. Well, its surprisingly hard for some to comprehend the basic truths of the world, Hui said wisely.

Look at her. I havent seen Mamian laugh in centuries, Zhu Diyu whispered un-quietly.

Indeed, indeed. Zhu Diyu, youre a clumsy oaf, but youve done it this time, Black Dragon said, nodding.

The reaper turned, glaring at them.

Shh, shh. They can hear us, Qian Liqiu whispered. After a moment, she added, but they are adorable together.

Hui put his head in his hands. What happened to my overbearing destruction of the Underworld? How on earth has it turned into me taking a causal stroll with my high school prom date while getting heckled by aunties and uncles on all sides?

In any case, we could never work as a couple, Hui said loudly.

Oh? What makes you say so? I agree, but the reaper trailed off.

Hui turned to her, serious. Elder Sister. I understand that you have hobbies. We all do.

Yes? the reaper asked, squinting.

However small cultivator does not like to be stepped on! Elder Sister will have to find someone who is compatible with Elder Sisters preference for stepping on people.

My what? the reaper said, her voice low and dangerous.

Hui nodded. Your preference for stepping on people. Ah, when we faced Si Wang, you stomped that town out of the mud, and when this small cultivator offended you, your first choice was to step on me.

The reaper pressed her lips together. Her face whitened.

Ah! Please dont worry, Elder Sister. Its nothing to be ashamed of. We all have strange hobbies. I like playing dead, you like stepping on people ah, and theres plenty of people who like being stepped on! Foot fetishists, masochists

The reaper drew her sword.

Hui backed away. Eh? Elder Sister, Zhu Diyu didnt

Im doing this for myself. I dont need orders to cut down an idiot, the reaper rumbled, her face dark.

Hui backed away more quickly. Elder Sister

The reaper swung at him.

Turning, Hui fled at top speed. The rings expanded faster than ever, barely keeping up with his pace. Compared to the Night Market, the Underworld was a full, if empty, realm, nearly the size of the mortal world. It took quite some time for the rings to reach the border of the world. As Hui sped up, however, so did they, surging outward.

In moments, the entire Underworld burned. Only the Yellow Springs remained, eternally swirling at the periphery. Black, then red, then gold light reflected over their surface as the rings passed by, but unlike the Underworld, the rings did nothing to them. Hui quietly noted it. So they arent a proper part of the Underworld, but a fundamental part of the three realms. Interesting.

Come back here. Im going to step on you, see how you like it! the reaper snarled.

Elder Sister, thats exactly what Im saying! Elder Sister, I dont like being stepped on! Its Elder Sister who has the preference! Hui cried.

The reaper said nothing in return. She growled deep in her throat and released a larger slash.

Black Dragon sighed. Ah, first love.

Zhu Diyu chuckled. Theyre perfect together.

Qian Liqiu tilted her head. Is this part of the human mating ritual? How curious.