Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 572: The Force of Action is Mutual, Just Like Mom’s Slaps! It Hurts Mom Too!

"Did the reaction force turn you into an exhibitionist?" Shinpachi muttered sarcastically.

"Renpou has already become a tool solely for that man's desires," Fujiko said thoughtfully, "If we don't defeat him, there's no future for Earth or Renpou. We need to find a way to approach that critical spot…"

Before she could finish, footsteps approached from behind Fujiko and Arushiro.

Fujiko, Kagura, and Shinpachi turned around to see a Renpou soldier with a yellow Mohawk pointing a rifle barrel from his mouth.

Instantly, Fujiko and Arushiro turned back around.

"This is bad, try not to whisper!" Fujiko whispered urgently.

"No, it's mostly you talking," Shinpachi whispered back sarcastically.

"Don't think this is just a simple meal gathering. We're under Midakuma's surveillance here," Fujiko warned, frowning, "If you drop a single grain of rice, you'll be executed immediately…"

Shinpachi's face instantly showed extreme fear.

"This is suddenly making me nervous."

"This is great, Shinpachi!" Kagura exclaimed, "They even have curry here!"

"Now's not the time to be happy, Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi scolded quietly, "And don't mix natto into the curry like usual!"

When it was finally Arushiro's turn, Shinpachi chose sweet curry. Watching the chef skillfully scoop out a red FC game cartridge and place it on the rice, Shinpachi's face froze.

[They called this curry, but it's just a red "Excitebike" on white rice!] Shinpachi's eyes widened in horror. [What is this? Are they bullying me for choosing sweet curry?!]

Seeing the tray before Arushiro, Fujiko raised a signboard: "Oh, sweet curry, what a child."

Seeing the "Rescue Helicopter" on Fujiko's plate, Shinpachi ranted internally, [The spicy one is just a black "Rescue Helicopter"?! What kind of planet is this?! Why are they eating FC game cartridges with rice?!]

"Quick, eat it while it's hot," Fujiko said, picking up the FC game cartridge with a fork and blowing on the contacts.

[Well, you do need to blow off the dust from the contacts…]

"Guess we have no choice but to follow local customs. Shinpachi, let's find a way to split this," Kagura said.

[No, no, no, no! How can you eat this?!] Shinpachi shook his head furiously in his mind, rejecting the idea a hundred times. [This is an FC game cartridge, only eight-bit!]

Before Shinpachi could finish his thoughts, Kagura speared the "Excitebike" cartridge with a fork and flipped it into Shinpachi's mouth.

[You're just eating white rice!] Shinpachi screamed internally.

"Eat up, Shinpachi, or they'll get suspicious," Kagura said, nodding as she repeatedly slammed Shinpachi's head on the table.

"Hey, Shinpachi, Kagura." Gintoki, sitting across from Arushiro, spoke up, "You don't have to eat that stuff."

Seeing Gintoki, who had also chosen sweet curry but received an "Excitebike" cartridge, Shinpachi exclaimed in shock, "Gin-san!"

"Making warriors eat this before a war…" Gintoki said disdainfully.

"Don't underestimate us," Sakamoto chimed in.

"They think they can conquer Earth with this kind of nutrition?" Katsura said seriously.

"Really, a rotten planet without decent meals," Kawaki said, closing his eyes and frowning with disdain.

Seeing them all head towards the serving area, Fujiko tried to stop them, "Wait, everyone…"

But it was no use. Kawaki and the others were already in front of the chef, raising their signboards.

Gintoki: "Excuse me, can I get DQ5?"

Sakamoto: "Please give me FF4."

Kawaki: "At least give me Castlevania. Also, the woman with the scar on her face is a newbie, so give her Donkey Kong or Popeye."

(Note: Donkey Kong, Popeye, and Donkey Kong Jr. were among the first games released for the Famicom on July 15, 1983.)

Katsura: "Do you have VB?"

[That's not the point! And one of them got it wrong!] Shinpachi ranted internally.

At that moment, Gintoki found FF and DQ in a pot and raised his signboard: "Ah, here they are, but no Castlevania. I only found Donkey Kong Jr."

"No choice, I'll settle for Layla. And give Tsukuyo a kids' meal with Donkey Kong Jr.," Kawaki raised his signboard and waved to Tsukuyo, "Tsukuyo, over here."

"Haha, FF should have Red Wings, even though I'm seasick," Sakamoto raised his signboard.

"Still no VB?" Katsura raised his signboard.

"No… this is bad!" Fujiko broke into a cold sweat, "DQ and FF are only for captains!"

"So even the captains eat FC game cartridges?!" Shinpachi ranted quietly, eyes wide.

"Especially DQ5 and FF, which are top-tier for generals! Layla is a luxury even generals rarely enjoy! As for Castlevania… it's a legendary rarity among Renpou!"

"What about Donkey Kong Jr.?" Shinpachi asked, expressionless.

"That's indeed a kids' meal."

Shinpachi: …

Seeing the commotion caused by Kawaki and the others, the twin dragon generals stood up simultaneously.

"What are you doing?!" The blue-haired general raised his signboard.

"Do you grunts think you can have top-tier FC cartridges?!" The red-haired general raised his signboard.

[Oh no! The generals are mad!] Shinpachi thought in panic.

At the same time, the surrounding Renpou soldiers pulled rifles from their mouths and surrounded Kawaki's group.

[What are you doing, idiot squad?!] Shinpachi mentally screamed.

"Danger—!" Fujiko exclaimed.

A white figure broke through the Renpou soldiers and appeared before Kawaki and the others.

"I apologize, Twin Dragon Generals. Could you spare them for my Layla?" The white figure, Elizabeth, raised a signboard.

"What?! General Elizabeth, are they your subordinates?" The blue dragon general raised his signboard.

"A g-general?!" Shinpachi looked at the sudden appearance of Elizabeth, sweat dripping down his face, "Why is there a third general? Isn't there only supposed to be two?!"