My Lycan Mate of Suicide Forest

"Holy shit, what was that?" Lucas almost fell over in his chair with the sudden bright burning wholeness that flamed at the center of his chest.

Zoe, yet to be renamed so grudgingly accepting the previous moniker, had her knees pulled up to her chest as she watched the festivities occurring out the window down below. There were pups running and dancing around the huge fire, chasing each other further out into the cover of woods where activities seemed to be set up for them. Long picnic tables were filled with people eating and visiting. It looked like a family reunion—a giant family reunion. And she was on the outside looking in like usual.

She had told Lucas to go enjoy himself with the rest of the pack, but for some reason he was still stubbornly here acting as if he actually wanted to be.

But when Lucas braced himself from falling and grimaced with a hand over his chest, she sprung from her perch by the window.

"What's wrong?" she stood before him frozen, unsure if she should approach him to try to help. He was lycan, he should be fine. Right?

He let his hand drop to his side and gazed into the space in front of him, analyzing what that feeling was. It was like there had been something missing and now there wasn't.

"Nothing's wrong," he shook his head, realizing the girl was still staring at him. "Check out the window," he told her, because he had a feeling now what it might have been. If he was right, it would probably be pretty obvious.

Zoe's eyebrows pinched together over her dark eyes not understanding, but she walked to the window anyway. Everyone seemed to have their heads facing the same direction—toward the pack house. The running and playing had ceased. Some pups were slowly returning to their feet from where they had toppled onto the ground, and they were looking around like they were in a daze.

"What happened?" she asked as Lucas came to stand next to her, viewing the initial confusion that turned into a sudden apparent joy. People were clasping their hands in front of themselves, hugging, jumping up and down, spinning around alone and together, rushing into the pack house and out of view.

Zoe turned to Lucas who hadn't responded but had a huge grin on his face. And then he chuckled to himself.

"I wish you could feel it, Zoe," he said softly.

She took a step back, distancing herself from whatever thing she wasn't apart of. "Feel what?"

He sighed and continued gazing out the window. Was that—were tears actually welling in his eyes? Her mouth dropped open.

Lucas cleared his throat. "I had a mate," he said. The admission felt like a sharp stab through his center. It was still painful, nearly taking his breath even now. "She died before she even knew what I was to her."

Without realizing it, Zoe had taken a few more steps back, her arms folded over herself as she listened. But Lucas was so young… he had a mate already? And lost her?

"I haven't felt this… hopeful in a long time," he sighed again, turning to cast her in the light of his smile.

Zoe didn't know what to do with any of this information or what it meant. But she was happy for him.

"Maybe you should go enjoy it with the rest of them, Lucas. Don't you need to get dressed or something?" she asked.

"Nah," he shrugged off the suggestion. "Nobody cares what I'm dressed in. I'm not worried about it. Especially since we'll be showing up late."

"Why are you still here?" she asked miserably.

She didn't mean for it to sound so miserable, but the dread of having to face all of these joyous people and tell them what she had been involved in was becoming greater as the day went on. And now whatever happened that had made them so happy would mean a greater fall into shock and despair and anger for them all. She could feel it like a looming, sure threat—their hatred of her. A heavy knot was forming in her stomach, and she gulped back the bile that rose with it.

"Do you want to be alone?" he asked.

"Maybe," her voice was quiet.

She didn't know what she wanted other than for this night to just be over with. Everything was looking up for this pack, and she was happy about that—especially after the part she had played here. But the sinking feeling of loneliness that had plagued her all of her days had grown—even more so after watching the way Lucas lit up in response to some unseen connection to his people. She would never have that.

"Yeah—you know, I need to get dressed anyway. You should go," she nodded, turning away from him to avoid his eyes or his stubbornness.

"Okay. I'll come back, Dolores," he said.

She stopped and turned abruptly with a confused look on her face.

"And I'll bring a masquerade mask for you, so don't worry about the stitches," he added, making his way to the door.

"Dolores?" she asked.

"Do you like that one?" he paused, grinning as he turned to get her reaction.

"I'm not a Dolores," she sputtered a laugh.

"Nancy?" he asked. She giggled and shook her head. "Camille? Cami? Oola?"

"Oola?" she repeated, screwing her face up. "Is that a real name?"

"Don't be immature, Oola. Of course it's a real name."

She shook her head, fighting against the laughter that he seemed to effortlessly draw from her.

"How about Olga?" he tried as she walked him the rest of the way to the door since he was having trouble leaving by himself. "Virginia? Suzanne?"

"Bye Lucas," she chuckled, rolling her eyes as he finally disappeared through the doorway and she shut the door behind him. She leaned against it and let out a soft exhale. Finally she was alone. A small frown settled on her face.

The door opened slightly, pushing her forward as it did, and Lucas stuck his head through.

"Naomi," he offered the final name before letting her shove him out.

She closed the door once again behind him, locking it this time with a sputter of laughter escaping her lips.. And then she turned to find the dress for tonight with laughter continuing to bubble in her chest, frown forgotten.