My Lycan Mate of Suicide Forest

"He found Selah," Sam reported after ending a phone call with his cousin Jack.

"Did she find her brother? Did she find Sage?" Greta asked, standing up from her spot on the couch next to Graeme who was clawing his hands through his hair in frustration.

It was now past midnight on Samhain, and they were all still at the treehouse discussing how to move forward. Greta had finally gotten Graeme to stop pacing, but now he was raking his hands through his hair and his beard, growling to himself.

Why couldn't he remember more about his mate? Why couldn't he remember August Moon? She was there, threaded through every part of him. He could feel her like he could feel his wolf clawing to get out, but she just wouldn't fully surface in his mind. If he knew what had happened with the vampire tonight, maybe he would be of more help in trying to figure out how to get her back. Waiting around for someone to give them more information was driving him crazy.

"Jack didn't say anything about Sage. I don't think she found him," Sam said with a frown. "But they are on their way here now."

"I can't just sit here," Graeme growled and stood to begin pacing the room again.

Sylvia brought some tea in and set it on the coffee table. She wanted to do more to ease their Alpha's mind, but she wasn't sure what that would be at the moment. They were all on edge. At least Graeme had finally accepted that all of this was true. At the outpost, she was worried that he would leave pack land without hearing any more of what they had to say, and then she had no idea what they would have done.

"Well home or the pack house are two other options," Greta told her brother. "But Selah and Jack are on their way here now, so how about we stay put for the time being? I'm going to change really quick, though. I can't think in this dress."

She walked to the closet that held August's clothes. There were still a few left behind that had not gotten moved, and she pulled on some sweats and sweatshirt. When she turned around, Graeme was gazing at the closet with a pained expression on his face.

"Oh," she mumbled and looked down at the clothes guiltily. They still held August's scent.

He ran a hand down his face miserably and turned away. This was torture. When he looked down at his hands, his eyes lingered on the black ring with the engraved moon. He rubbed it between his fingers, feeling the smooth cool metal orbit his flesh where he had placed it when his memory was intact. What did her ring look like? The question hovered at the perimeter of his thoughts.

"What do you mean by 'home'?" he asked Greta. She had mentioned home or the pack house as alternative options. "Mom and dad's?"

"Yeah. The four of us were staying there. It just felt safer, particularly with all that was unknown about the elders. We were still figuring stuff out," she explained.

He could not imagine staying in their childhood home with all of the memories there. It was still painful to think about. How had he been okay with that? So much had changed in such a short amount of time. Apparently finding your mate really did alter everything.

"I'm not sure now is the best time to bring this up," Greta started, glancing at everyone, "but has it occurred to anyone else that it's possible August is with Maggie right now? If the other alyko of ours are alive, she could be seeing them as we speak. Isn't that just…"

"How is that supposed to be helpful right now?" Graeme growled the interruption, shooting daggers at her with his eyes. "If Maggie is alive, she is somewhere unreachable enough that no one has ever heard from her again. For a decade, Greta. Ten years! Are you saying that is what has happened with my mate? That she is somewhere so impossible to find, I may never get to see her with my own eyes?"

Angry tears were welling in his eyes as he gritted his teeth against the infuriating thought, and Greta's mouth fell open.

"I-I… no, that's not what I meant…" she said, searching for the words to explain how hopeful she actually considered that possibility. But obviously he took it very differently.

"You put on clothes that smell like her, this whole treehouse smells like her, I have a ring on my finger, I have this feeling throughout my whole body like she's calling to me, and I… and I can't remember her," he ground out. "I can't go to her to help her. My own mate! I couldn't save her from whatever hell she is in right now."

His whole body was braced against the sense of failure that was so familiar to him, he had been running from it all this time. Now it had caught up to him and was threatening to take him under for good.

"And then there's the thought that Maggie has been out there… needing us, needing ME to see through the elders' bullshit and believe that she and the others are alive so I can come after them. And I never have, Greta!"

Then the tears finally won, and he stalked out onto the deck so that no one else would see them except the moon. The new shower enclosure caught his eye, and he realized at once what had happened. He had built it for his human mate. He chuckled through his tears at how lovesick he must be to do something like that.

"Fuck," he groaned, pinching his nose as the tears continued to come.

He hunched over the glass railing, looking down at the wet leaf-littered ground that smelled of Samhain. Why had these circumstances defined his life even until now? His parents' deaths, the loss of the alyko, his failure to lead… All of it came back to this fucking vampire. A vampire, for Goddess' sake. And the elders.

The elders.

"Andreas," he growled the name and knew exactly what he needed to do at that moment.. He needed revenge.