New Life As An Ecchi Girl With A “Big Surprise”

494: Reluctant Trio

“Joshua, could you wipe that dumb grin off your face?” an annoyed Purple Cape soldier asked of his partner.

“No way, man,” the mellow Purple Cape said as he laid on his ass, leaning back against a pile of burnt rubble.

“I still can’t believe you wasted a week’s worth of rations on her.”

“But Salma, man… The mouth on that woman! Oh, and those tits! The way they bounced when she shook her hips! No wonder she’s S-rank!”

“Just don’t come crying to me later when you don’t have the strength to lift your sword up.”

“Man, Felix, you always worry too much!” Joshua scoffed. “Mimi put all the fires out, Flavna rounded up all suspects. It’s chilling time now!”

“How can you say that when the big-tit demon fucker is still running rampant!?” Felix got increasingly annoyed with his so-called partner.

“What are the chances of us running into her?” Joshua asked. “Besides, I heard that she’s literally blind to anyone without a fertile womb for impregnation.”

“That’s such a stupid rumor!” Felix shook his head.

“What’s stupid is me having to continue my service in the city guard when I was supposed to retire last year!” Joshua’s mood soured. “So, the least you could do is stop ruining what little joy I get to have from my position.”

“You losers still haven’t cleared all this trash?” a young Purple Cape woman suddenly appeared behind them with her arms crossed.

The brunette with aqua eyes and two-side-up hairstyle looked down on both men, despite being shorter than both of them by a substantial margin. Her skirt fluttered from the gentle night breeze, but she paid no mind to potential panty shots and her gaze was colder than ice.

“Oh, great!” Joshua grimaced when he saw the girl.

“What’d you say, loser?” the Purple Cape girl asked, the air around her growing colder.

“He said how great it is to see your lovely face on this cold night, Ava!” Felix grinned.

“Hmph! If only I could say the same!” Ava walked a little closer to the pair while looking at them as if they were cockroaches. “You were supposed to be done with this hours ago!”

“We’re doing our best, but Joshua isn’t the spring chicken he once was,” Felix tried to justify their lack of progress.

“And since when are the Purple Capes some kind of glorified garbage men?” Joshua asked.

“Erm, Joshua—” Felix tried to calm down his partner.

“Since you proved how useless you are at fighting!” Ava explained.

“Man, that was just bad luck!” Joshua bemoaned. “I would’ve bested most of them no problem! It was just a bad draw for the first duels.”

“You ate dirt without landing a single hit,” Ava reminded. “So, get your tiny ass up, and clear the street you were ordered to! Unless you’re that eager to prove that you’re unfit even for menial labor.”

“Who the hell are you to give me orders anyway!?” Joshua got up, but not to lift rocks. “A pretentious lieutenant-wannabe! Still mad that you got passed up for promotion yet again!?”

“Why you—!”

“Help! Someone! Anyone!” a petite young woman wearing nothing but a ragged cloak screamed as she ran through the street.”

“What happened!?” Felix jumped at the chance to escape the nasty argument.

“A big-tittied bimbo attacked me and my friends on the outskirts of the Shadow Woods!” the young woman cried. “She ripped their clothes off and shouted, ‘you’ll be giving birth to demon babies for me’ as she fucked them with her big, fat cock!”

“We have to call for reinforcements!” Felix exclaimed.

“Yep, sounds like a great idea!” Joshua agreed and already turned tail to run.

“Cowards!” Ava shouted. “We cannot allow more demons to be birthed into the city! We must attack while the demon fucker is distracted with her birthing ritual!”

“Great plan!” Joshua said. “You go and interrupt her ritual, while I go get back up!”

An icicle whizzed between Joshua’s legs, just a couple of inches below his crotch.

“Either you’re coming with us, or you’re never cumming again,” Ava threatened, her hand giving off cold air from the attack she launched.

“On second thought, everyone’s probably sleeping anyway,” Joshua said through grit teeth. “Lead, the way—”

—you, stupid, glory-seeking bitch! Joshua finished in his head what he wanted to say out loud.