Orc Hero Story - Discovery Chronicles (Orc Eroica)

Whew, this is quite a long chapter.

“Ughh… Ohh… I drank too much…”

A few hours later, Zell, finally conscious, got up while holding her tiny, aching head.

She looked around, trying to make sense of her still swirling surroundings, before realizing that she was still in the familiar bar.

More often than not, whenever she woke up from a drunken binge, she would find herself trapped in an unfamiliar jar or bottle, miles away from where she went unconscious.

Of course, she was safe this time – because Bash was with her.

She even fuzzily remembered taking a bath with him right before everything went black.

“Hrrggh!”

Zell pinched her nose and put some strength into her body, her cheeks puffing up and her face reddening.

The natural light emitted by her body brightened for a second, before a mote of light rose up from her head, floated into the air and finally faded away.

Faerie-style: no booze no jutsu!

Just by putting their mind to it, Faeries could near-instantaneously eliminate all toxins from their body.

“Ah, that’s better. So, what happened to boss?”

Zell looked around, searching for the Orc Hero.

The only thing that caught her eye nearby was a saltshaker whose contents were, for some reason, soaked with ale.

While she would have loved to spend some time pondering on why that was, there were more pressing matters.

“Oh”

And then she noticed him.

Just like he often did back in Orc Country, Bash was slowly sipping his drink in the middle of the tavern.

“Did you find yourself a good match, mister?”

Zell asked as she fluttered over.

Bash shook his head.

“No, but I did get some good information.”

“Whoa! Is it going to rain pigs tomorrow?! Boss, you managed to gather some intel?!”

“I might not be as good as you are, but even I can do this much.”

“Of course, you can! You’re my boss, aren’t you? Even when I’m passed out, you can do it all by yourself! Ah, boss… don’t you need me anymore? Please don’t take my job away… I’d lose my reason for living! And! Uh… and I’ll…uh…I’ll throw myself off a cliff and go poof! Yeah!”

Zell playfully whined while wiping away invisible tears.

Elevating the other party while bringing pity to herself.

She was truly living up to her nickname as “Zell the Beggar”, as well as her other, lesser known nickname “Zell the Cheerleader”.

“So, what kind of information did you get? Maybe… a list of single Elven women?”

“No, not a list, but I did find what Elven women were looking for in a partner – and I’m going to obtain it for myself.”

“Oh! So your research was successful! That’s the boss for ya! Well, what is it?”

“It’s gold.”

“Gold!”

Zell got the idea.

She was a Faerie. Most Faeries weren’t interested in money.

But not all Faeries were uninterested in gold.

Some were completely and utterly obsessed with it, dazzled with its warm brilliance.

One of Zell’s acquaintances was someone like that.

They had a room filled to the brim with gold nuggets, and spends days at a time just lazing around, gazing at them with fascination.

She figured that the Elves might be similar.

“Gold, huh…? But there are a bunch ‘a different types of gold. Is it gold ore? Or gold coins? Or…”

Bash had the answer to that question as well, which he had learned from the man who was now passed out, resting his head on a table further way, mug still in hand.

“Hm. Apparently, the first rich Human to marry an Elf won her over by giving her a shiny gold necklace with a huge emerald at its center when he proposed.”

“Oh! I see! So, if you go and buy a shiny gold necklace – …”

“– I can get an Elven wife!”

Which wasn’t true at all.

The Orc Hero was so close, yet so far from the true answer. His short-tracked mind was under the impression that the root cause behind the Elven women’s desire for wealth was to acquire gold.

Sure, for an Elf, receiving an emerald necklace as a gift was quite the romantic event.

But in truth, what they wanted to accomplish through marriage was an improvement in their standard of living. They wanted to live the life of the rich and famous – lavish meals, luxurious clothes, huge mansions, servants lined up to cater to their every whim… the list goes on.

However, Zell herself wasn’t familiar with the concept of “buying”.

She was just as versed in matters of money as Bash was.

Which meant not very much.

“Buy a gold necklace, huh… You need money to buy things, right? How are you gonna make money?”

“Hm. It seems that the town is lacking manpower to deal with an abnormality in Siwanasi Forest.”

“Abnormality?”

“Zombies. There’s been a massive outbreak and they’re having a hard time getting rid of them.”

“Oh! Yeah, like the one we saw on the way here!”

“And it looks like they’ll give us money for every zombie we kill.”

“Ah! That’s pretty straightforward!”

And thus, the Orc Hero picked up a part-time job putting the undead back where they belong.

These zombies’ (un)lives were not just in jeopardy.

No, they were already double dead.

“I’m going to kill some zombies right now! Zombies are more active at night, so I’ll be right on time… I need to go back to the inn and get my gear! I can’t get these nice new clothes dirty.”

“Alright! Let’s go!”

By the time Bash got ready and left the bar, heading towards the inn, the sun had completely disappeared behind the horizon and the town was shrouded in darkness.

However, thanks to the moonlight and the magical lights regularly placed along the streets, it wasn’t too hard to see where he was going.

In the old days, there were no such lights.

Elves were able to see perfectly in the dark using magical vision.

There were many places within the forest that stayed as black as night even on the brightest day, and the Elves usually stuck to those areas.

They never used any lighting, not even fire.

[Elves are all sneaky, skinny rats that lived in the dark.]

That was what Orcs thought of the Elves.

But Bash now realized that that was never the case.

The Elves enjoyed the light just as much as Humans did.

It was the war that forced them to adopt that lifestyle.

The proof was all around him – the Elves, who all seemed like sadistic killers back then, were much friendlier to him than he expected them to be.

During the war, this would have been inconceivable.

They used to be as bloodthirsty as they come, preferring swords, arrows and magic to conversation.

This all changed in just three short years after the signing of the peace treaty.

Reflecting on these developments warmed Bash’s heart.

“That’s why – … what!”

“But however – …”

“What?! You, my – …”

Suddenly, Bash heard what sounded like an argument coming from somewhere nearby.

No, rather than an argument, it seemed as if one party was complaining, while the other tried to soothe them.

Bash turned towards the origin of the voices.

There was a pair – a man and a woman, waking towards him.

“Listen, I just don’t know why they can’t just figure it out themselves?! You think so too, right?”

“Lady Sonia, this is because you once told them to follow your guidance.”

“…Okay, yeah, I did say that. But I mean, you should at least be able to make some decisions on your own, right? What, do they want me to tuck them into bed and read them a bedtime story too?! Are they kids?!”

““If one does not respect the order defined by the hierarchy, there is only chaos” – those were your own words, Lady Sonia.”

“Urggahhh…”

The man wore a standard issue Elven army uniform.

The woman wore a dark green robe and a pointed hat.

But it wasn’t their outfit that Bash was concerned about.

“Hm.”

And that’s when the woman noticed Bash.

“You…!”

Note that Zell calls Bash “danna”. I’ve been trying to find something appropriate for that term, ’cause “master” just doesn’t seem like it fit, and “mister” doesn’t work every time. So I’ve decided to alternate between “boss” and “mister” depending on the context.

Also, the Elves are all named after flowers. Sometimes, the Japanese name is the same as the English name, other times it isn’t. I’ve decided to translate all the names into English.

You probably remember the shopkeep from last chapter saying he needed to go see someone called “Aconite”. Well the actual Japanese name is “Torikabuto”, which, in my opinion, just doesn’t sound that great.