Chapter 11 11 : I Don't Want To Feel This Mana Anymore
When I first found the baby, my head was filled with the urge to kill it. It was natural since monsters view angel subordinates as enemies. Our rage and urge to kill them probably existed because that war happened a thousand years ago.
But now, that woman's mana suppressed that urge inside mine. My head hurts so bad whenever I think about killing that baby. I didn't know when, but the desire to kill that baby slowly faded. It seemed like the demonic mana inside me had given up on that woman's mana.
"Well… there is no way a human baby could live inside the dungeon. He probably will die in a short time."
I thought he would surely die if I just left him alone. Yet, it turns out that my estimation of that woman's mana was far too low.
"Aarrgh!!! This baby is so f*cking noisy!!! Why did he almost cry every time?!!"
I suddenly felt shocked in my head, and I got a glimpse into that woman's memory while caring for her baby.
"It would be a bad joke if I did that."
Yet I still did that. I tried to breastfeed him. That woman completely brainwashed me. Every time I saw this baby, I couldn't leave him alone.
Orcs generally don't breastfeed, and female orcs also don't have any liquid inside their breasts. But Queen has. Because only a queen who can give birth to an orc, and when she does, the baby is born instantly without the need to copulate, which means the father of orcs is demonic mana, the dungeon itself. After a certain period, the Queen Orc will conceive and give birth to her young orc in just a week. A newborn orc cub can walk and live without its mother's milk.
After I breastfed him, the baby finally stopped crying and then fell asleep.
___Year 2, He looked so cold outside the dungeon, it's good because he will definitely die from freezing, but that woman's mana forced me to do something. No place in this dungeon was a good place for humans except the upper floor.
I made my way to the dungeon's upper floor. It was a bad floor for an advanced monster like me because the higher you go, the less demonic mana exists in the dungeon. Monsters couldn't live without demonic mana, so they should absorb it every time. I need demonic mana more than a general monster; that was why the first floor was a bad place for me.
But still, the first floor still not a good place for kids. The only place that humans could survive inside the dungeon was in the dungeon's forbidden room, forbidden for monsters. Monsters can't last long in that place because it lacks of demonic mana.
I put him there so he keeps warmth inside.
___Year 4, that baby became bigger, but not as big as orc's kids. When he was that big, he cried a lot whenever I was not around. Human baby was so troublesome, they really love crying.
I tried to stay as close to him as I could, but of course, that was impossible. In that room, I couldn't survive for 20 hours, so I only spent 10 hours with him.
What we often did together was body training. I deliberately made him spend a lot of energy so that he quickly tired out and fell asleep.
"Mother, don't go," he muttered in his sleep.
'Mo-mother?! How disgusting! Human kids calling me mother is so f*cking disgusting!"
There was a strange feeling inside me, like a warm fire dancing inside my stomach.
I believed it must be the reaction from that woman's mana.
___Year 6. Even though I made the training tougher, the kid didn't appear to be overly tired. That's why he no longer sleeps during the day, just at night. Then I realized that when he was this big, he could already live alone.
But when I left him
"Have you left already?" he asked sadly.
"Yes, I have to work."
His face looks so disappointed.
'how troublesome, don't make that face,' I thought.
Again, this feeling, a feeling that makes me feel bad every time I see that face. This feeling must be because of that woman's mana!
Even so, I still left him because it would be dangerous if another human came here.
'dangerous? How come? It would be wonderful if humans arrived and I no longer had to care for this child.
Deep down inside me, I can feel that I don't want him to be taken by others. But I know this feeling must be because of that woman's mana! She didn't want that kid given to someone she hadn't influenced.
___Year 10. There are two years until the dungeon resets. In two more years, that woman's mana will leave my body, and I will definitely kill this child at that time.
Actually, I was surprised that I could raise him to this day. This kid could live in a dungeon with absolutely no divine mana, and then he could keep up no matter what kind of training I gave him. His strength also rose very quickly. Maybe this kid is almost as good as an adult human I have fought before.
'perhaps because he drank my milk?"
Come to think about it. I haven't given him milk in a long time. I also did not give birth to a new orc for almost ten years. That made the orc army gradually dwindle, and that made it hard for me to fight humans. The humans who got to this place were getting stronger and stronger, and in a short time, orcs alone couldn't stop them.
What bothered me the most was, the fact that I had milk in my breast but never gave it to the baby orcs. Then, after I breastfed this human baby, I stopped having more orc children. Does that mean I need my milk in order to get pregnant? If that is true, it means this human kid had drunk the milk of hundreds of unborn orcs.
"Mother"
"What?"
"Can I have a name?"
"Name?!" where did he learn it?
"You don't need that!" I replied.
"Okaay…" he said plaintively.
This is so irritating!
"*SIGH… Okay, just tell me what kind of name you want?!"
He smiled
"I want it from you!"
"Are you kidding?!"
His smile was suddenly gone.
'Don't make that face! So irritating!'
"Alright, alright! Then how about Allen?" I coincidentally heard it when fighting with humans.
He murmured that name thrice. After that, a big smile appears on his face.
"Thank you! Mother!"
!!!
This joy feel… must be from that woman's mana.
___Year 12. The dungeon reset will happen around this year. At that time, the divine mana inside me will be purged during the reset. And when this woman's mana is gone, this child will definitely die in my hands.
My feelings are conflicted. When I recall my own words, I get lost in my own thoughts. I've always been determined to kill him when the dungeon resets, and now that determination is starting to bother me.
"What happened, mother? You daydream." He said it confusedly.
'He is already this big, not only has he grown taller, but his hair is also getting longer. If I recall again, I always like his red eyes.'
While looking at his face, I put my weapon down and reached for the boy's head.
"I have to find a way to save you from here," I said subconsciously.
"!!!"
!!!
I immediately took my hand off and walked out of that place.
'I see… I finally understand. This feeling must be from that woman's mana. I had to find a way to protect him from me when my human-killing desire returned. The dungeon will reset in a while, so I need to figure out how to get him out of here quickly.'
If I wanted to get him out of here, he should know common sense outside. So, I need a human to teach him about the outside world.
And then today, after I brought that human and made them teach him, I didn't expect things to turn out like this.
"MOTHER, I HATE YOU! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! GO AWAY! GO!!!" he yelled, and that full of despised yell was directed to me.
This feeling… This is very new… We've been together for twelve years, and he's never once said anything like that. That's right, he always obeyed whatever I told him all this time, and for the first time, he disobeyed me.
When he yelled at me, I could feel myself becoming sad.
This must be because of that woman's mana!
"Alright," I answered briefly.
I can't do anything now. Perhaps this is a good chance. He wouldn't stay in the dungeon if he hated me. He definitely will go out with that human, far from this dungeon, and finally live happily together with other humans.
And…
If…
If he leaves...
*Tes *tes
"If he gets out of here, then he won't be killed by me."
Water comes out of my eyes.
"What is this? What water are these? Why is it flowing from my eyes?"
This is also a new feeling.
This thing must be from that woman's mana…
I hate this feeling, very unpleasant, very weak, and very uncomfortable!
My whole body feels weak, and my chest hurts.
"How long do I have to feel this?" water keeps coming out of my eyes. I rubbed it continuously, covering both my eyes with my hands so that the water wouldn't flow… But useless…
"MOTHER, I HATE YOU!" that words… that voice… always ringing in my head.
I looked at the dungeon's altar and said,
"Dungeon… hurry up, I don't want to feel this woman's mana anymore!"