Chapter 96 Disappoint me
Later, An Qinyan walked out of the teacher’s office with Lu Xuan following her. As they reached the school cafeteria area, she stopped in her footsteps and turned to look at her son who was looking down and not meeting eyes with her.
This was not the Lu Xuan she knew.
“You disappoint me, “An Qinyan said.
Lu Xuan clenched his hands and swallowed hard. He was a disappointment. He didn’t know why she took his side inside. Perhaps, she did that to save her reputation. He knew how important reputation could be. He didn’t blame her. He was used to disappointing everyone. However, it still hurt his heart to hear her say that he disappointed her.
“Ah Xuan, look at me!” An Qinyan said in an authoritative voice..
Lu Xuan raised his gaze instinctively to look at her strict face.
“How could you do this?” An Qinyan asked him. She was so mad right now. “Do you have any sense of danger? If someone is accusing you of a crime, you don’t keep quiet but fight back! Do you only learn to fight with legs and fists that you forget verbal battle? What if I didn’t come sooner and the teacher had proved you guilty without any evidence? What would you do? How could you be silent at such a time?”
What vexed her the most wasn’t the teacher’s allegations but his silence? Did he know that silence is not always the answer? Sometimes, they had to fight back. How could he not fight back at such an important time?
To say Lu Xuan was surprised would be an understatement. She was mad and disappointed at him because he didn’t refute the allegations, not because of his actions and bad marks? He knew that all the parents wanted their kids to score A+ or at least A. But he didn’t know what was this woman’s deal? Why did she always confuse him?
“You know what?” An Qinyan sighed. “Let’s not talk about this. I don’t wish to be mad at you. It’s just that your attitude inside vexed me. Next time, if you come home beaten by someone because you are right, I am going to beat you.”
“And they ask where I get the violent streak from, “Lu Xuan muttered under his breath. Thankfully, she didn’t hear him.
As An Qinyan saw that they were outside the cafeteria, she dragged him inside much to his dissatisfaction and placed a plate full of food. It was morning time and the students who lived in the dormitory came here for breakfast. Although the food here wasn’t as delicious and lavish as the one she usually cooks, it was still better.
“I had breakfast,” Lu Xuan grumbled.
“I know, “An Qinyan said as she pushed the plate before him. “You are staying at your friend’s house and won’t come out for breakfast with me even if I asked. So, we will have a congratulatory meal in your school cafeteria.”
She pulled out a box of cookies from her handbag that she had kept for snacking and placed it next to his plate.
“Just like old times, we will celebrate your good marks, “An Qinyan replied and Lu Xuan paused for a moment. He didn’t know what to say or do. However, he started eating and as his fingers brushed the cookie box, he didn’t know why but he felt warm in his heart.
“I barely managed to pass, “Lu Xuan muttered.
“You scored 50% and it’s not called barely managed to pass,” An Qinyan nonchalantly replied.
“Your daughter ranked last in the school, “Lu Xuan snickered. He scored 50% which meant his rank would be higher than his mother’s daughter.
“Really?” An Qinyan’s eyes twinkled. “My Lanlan passed the exam?”
Lu Xuan stared at her and then grumbled, “You are weird. How can you be happy with such bad marks?”
An Qinyan sighed as she looked at her son who had the meaning of life sorted out all wrong and said, “Dear son, how could a mother of two weird children be normal? And you have no right to say that my children have bad marks. It’s up to me to decide. Lanlan merely passed two subjects last time. This time, she passed five of them. It means she is progressing and so are you. I don’t believe in quick progress or success. It comes from the sheer amount of hard work and pressure.”
“Why did it sound like you have no expectations from your children?” Lu Xuan asked.
“I don’t, “An Qinyan truthfully said.
“I don’t think this is possible. All parents have expectations from their children. Even my father has. He wants me to study hard and be a lawyer like him, “Lu Xuan said. Why was he oversharing? He should keep his mouth zipped.
“It’s really possible,” An Qinyan began explaining to him. “I lost my parents at a young age. You must know that your grandmother kind of raised me. She took me in when I was sixteen and had recently lost my father. Nobody had expectations from me and neither did I had. I think my childhood or life experience had to be blamed for this. I never expected anything from anyone because this was how I was wired. Or maybe I expect things. Like how I expect you and Lanlan to live a happy and peaceful life. How I expect you both to stay safe all the time.”
“I don’t know what your motive is, “Lu Xuan said. “I will never give in to you. No amount of sweet words or gestures can change my heart or mind. I know I can’t escape you now that you have my custody but in two years, neither you nor my father can force me to stay with you guys. You only have two years, you can do whatever you want, I won’t stop you. But once your time is up, you won’t see me again.”
This was the deepest feeling in his heart that he had never told anyone. He knew that no matter how sweet or warm her words might be, she was bound to hurt him again. Although his exteriors had toughened with blows, his inside was still tender and fragile. He might not be able to bear any betrayal or heartbreak again.
Sometimes, it wasn’t unrequited love or broken dreams that hurt the most but the parents pretending to be loving.