Saving the Villain

Meanwhile, Maxen was sitting on the edge of the bed, arms on his thighs, and his room was completely dark. The only light source was the sconce outside, filtering through the window.

"I hated you once…"

"I had this dream where I felt trapped…"

"Do you think I drive you crazy? You drove me to insanity, Max…"

"I wish you could be me for a day, so you have an idea how much I love you…"

Cosette's words kept replaying in Maxen's head for hours. He knew what she was saying was from a dream she had. However, the more she talked about it, the more she sounded like it actually happened.

The repressed emotions in her voice were real. It didn't only sound sincere, but at the same time, he could feel the pain in it. It was as though Cosette had been in pain all this time, but chose to disregard the pain because it was futile.

"Why…" Maxen clasped his chest as he couldn't understand this pain in his heart. Arguing with Cosette wasn't pleasant, but a part of his heart knew that wasn't all. Her words got stuck in his head that he just couldn't get rid of or forget.

"... does it hurt so much?" came out a whisper, closing his eyes as he drew a deep breath.

"I don't know."

Maxen ruffled his hair in irritation as there was no way to find an answer to the questions in his head. He threw himself on the bed, bouncing slightly as his back fell on the mattress. Maxen raised his arm and rested it on his forehead, staring at the dim ceiling quietly.

"Maxen… what's wrong with you?" he asked himself after minutes of nothing but silence. "Why are you like this?"

That question would always find its way to Maxen after getting rid of the question many times. Why was he like this? Maxen knew himself, and he was more than a hundred percent sure he wasn't greedy nor was he that selfish. He could share things.

However, whenever Cosette was involved, his heart would usually do the thinking instead of his mind. Sometimes, he would speak without even thinking about it. At first, he could hide it. Take Sarah and that accidental kiss last summer break, for instance. Until now, Maxen would think about it.

He told himself he shouldn't be like that. But as days turn months and months turn years, Maxen had become even more sensitive.

He thought he would settle this matter on his own. That he would keep it hidden forever, but he thought wrong. The older he gets, the more he felt possessive about her. And worse of all, instead of being thankful every morning for waking up, he felt scared — terrified.

Maxen felt like he was a day closer to losing her. He didn't know exactly, but that feeling would always dominate his morning. He never got used to it, but he learned how to deal with it.

"My therapy… he said I might relapse…" he whispered, thinking about the therapy sessions he had. "I guess this was the sign. I should've been more honest with him."

Maxen slowly covered his eyes with his arm, allowing the silence and darkness to envelop him.

*******

Cosette smiled in satisfaction after writing everything down that had happened. It had been a while since she wrote anything in this journal, so she used this time to add what she thought was memorable. Writing about what had happened for the past months brought a smile to her face; she would giggle and shake her head at times.

"I guess I will be a good writer," she mused, snapping her eyes and glancing at the digital clock on instinct. It was already past midnight, but she didn't notice it. "Well…"

Cosette set her eyes back on the page that was filled with her own writing. It was written pages before the last page.

"Back then, writing helped me distract myself," she whispered, smiling subtly. "But I'm glad this time I'm writing my story and not someone else's tragedy."

Her eyes softened, keeping her eyes on the journal she had kept since the beginning.

"One day…" she breathed out, caressing the page with her fingertips. "... I'd read you from the very beginning and see how this story progressed. I'm looking forward to a happy ending. But before that…"

Cosette trailed off as her smile lines faded. She huffed quietly, saying, "but before that, I need to make up with my husband."

Cosette had to admit she shouldn't have blown up like that. Maxen was already on the edge recently, and she understood that the pressure on him was something he could barely carry. It wasn't like Cosette had no idea.

The older Maxen gets and the more he was involved with the Blac family business, the more Maxen would get to see life, the people, and how everything works clearly. Admit it or not, even if no one was pressuring Maxen, Maxen would pressure himself. He had to excel in everything, and establish himself as Maxen and not as the boy Conrad took in.

Cruel, but that was reality for Maxen.

Maxen had to become someone who would be known as Maxen Cloven, and away from the Blac's shadow. It was the cons that even Cosette and Conrad couldn't stop on their own.

Cosette closed the journal and then pushed herself away from the desk. Maxen's feelings were valid and so were hers. But there was no point in prolonging this argument. They already expressed their hearts. Now, they needed to accept each other's heart and support instead of letting pride dominate them.

Cosette was ready to apologize since she was also emotional. Well, she was only human. All she hoped was for Maxen to talk to her.

Just as Cosette reached for the knob and opened it without a second hesitation, she flinched upon seeing someone outside. Her eyes slowly raised, only to meet Maxen's pair of dilated irises. His fist was up as if he was about to knock, but Cosette opened the door before anything else.

"Max?" she called after a moment of surprise.

Maxen cleared his throat, snapping out of his trance. He lowered his hand, shoving it inside his pocket.

"Can we talk?" he asked, raising his brows. "I know you're probably still angry, but —"

"Sure." Maxen blinked when the side of her lips curled up into a smile after cutting him mid-sentence. "Come in."