The Crazy Mage Reincarnated into a Fallen Family

Chapter 74: The name of the patrol unit is

How dare they use such vulgar language in the sacred Donkey’s Diner.

‘Let’s see their faces.’

Curious about which rude guys were causing a ruckus, I entered the entrance and stopped for a moment.

It happened to be mercenaries who were fighting.

Two of the mercenaries occupying the innermost seats were facing each other, grabbing each other’s collars.

Their rough faces were written with the words, ‘I’m a low-ranking mercenary.’

The strange thing was the other customers.

Everyone was leisurely eating their food without paying much attention to the mercenaries. In this situation, it would be normal to avoid the scene.

When I looked at the kitchen, Donkey was also paying no attention.

I don’t know if they’ve all become brave or what.

Anyway, I glared at the mercenaries and went inside.

When one of the group recognized me and gasped, the fighting guys also sensed that the atmosphere was strange and looked at me.

As their pupils dilated, I raised my hand and stopped time.

“Freeze.”

I said, approaching the two guys who were frozen while grabbing each other’s collars.

“This mercenary captain is very disappointed. My subordinates are swearing while eating. What a shameful act. What would others think if they saw this? What’s the reason for fighting? Was there no chicken in the chicken stew? Why are you fighting, ruining my appetite.”

The two trembled.

“You haven’t shed your third-rate image. Forehead.”

The two guys put their foreheads forward in the at-ease position.

I pressed my right hand against one guy’s forehead and pulled the middle finger of my right hand with my left hand.

It was like a slingshot pose.

Thwack—

I also shot a forehead slingshot at the guy next to him.

Thwack—

The two guys fell completely backward and collapsed on the floor.

There was a clear red line drawn on their foreheads.

The locals who were watching the scene said a word each.

“Take it easy, Crazy Mage.”

“Ouch, that must hurt.”

“It looks like their foreheads are split.”

Donkey, who was in the kitchen, also giggled and added.

“Easy, easy.”

I shook my head and said.

“I can’t stand to see the future world’s best chef’s restaurant get dirty.”

Donkey replied with a laugh.

“They didn’t really cause any harm. They don’t touch the locals.”

After hearing Donkey’s answer, I understood the customers’ reactions.

I told the mercenaries to act like a patrol unit, and it seems they didn’t even think of touching the locals.

But that’s that, and what’s wrong is wrong.

“Wake those bastards up.”

As I sat down on a chair, the mercenaries woke up the two collapsed guys by slapping their faces with water and kicking them.

A moment later, the two guys with bulging foreheads sat in front of me, blinking their eyes.

I picked up one of the remaining chicken stir-fries on the table with my hand and said.

“Why were you fighting?”

As soon as I saw the two hesitate, I blew air into the slingshot.

“Ha—ah.”

One of them shouted in fear.

“That guy looked down on me because he said he was from Leon.”

Not to be outdone, the guy next to him also spoke.

“No, that’s not true. He said people from Leon have no roots. He kept saying that mercenaries from Khaoto have the real roots.”

“What, you bastard? You were the one who started it.”

“This son of a bitch is making up stories again.”

When I blew air into my middle finger once more, the two guys shut their mouths instantly.

“Tsk.”

I clicked my tongue softly.

I roughly understood the situation. No matter where you go, those damn factions are the problem.

Even two idiots will fight over who’s better.

Even two pieces of poop will fight over whose is bigger.

It was ridiculous to see these third-rate guys dividing themselves into factions.

I looked around at the mercenaries and said.

“Go and gather everyone. Bring everyone, from the executives to the low-ranking members.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Donkey, let’s have a drink together.”

While the mercenaries were gone, I spent time drinking makgeolli with Donkey.

After all the customers left, the mercenaries gathered one by one. Then, all the executives, including Daisy and Bravo Khan, gathered as well.

“Sit down.”

The executives sat around the gathered tables, and the low-ranking guys surrounded us.

I drank a glass of makgeolli and then said.

“Daisy. What do you think about the mercenaries playing faction games?”

Daisy, who had already been informed of the situation, glared at his subordinates and replied.

“I’m sorry, boss.”

“I heard that those from Khaoto looked down on those from Leon.”

Daisy downed a glass of makgeolli and frowned.

“These sons of bitches.”

I asked Daisy a question with a trap mixed in.

“Are you from Leon or Khaoto?”

Daisy replied without a moment’s hesitation.

“I’m on your side, boss.”

“…Hmm.”

Since the trap didn’t work, I asked Bravo Khan this time.

“Officer. Is this Dark Soul or Sojungi? Are you still playing third-rate gangster games?”

“I apologize.”

“Whether it’s Leon or Khaoto, that’s fucking important…”

“I apologize.”

The quick-witted officer kept apologizing, and I suddenly forgot what I was going to say.

Since there was nothing I could do, I just scolded them all together.

“I told you to protect Khaoto, but these guys are fighting amongst themselves. Didn’t you see the locals looking down on you? How can you be a patrol unit like that? You’re still called third-rate gangsters because you act like that.”

When the mercenaries all bowed their heads, I suddenly lost my appetite for scolding.

I picked up a glass of makgeolli at random and said.

“First, let’s have a drink.”

As I took a sip, the executives also drank the makgeolli, and the low-ranking guys followed suit.

“Ah.”

I tore off a piece of the chicken stir-fry and it was spicy. This was the taste. The mercenaries also shared the chicken stir-fry.

Meanwhile, Daisy, who was sharing the same plate with me, was eating vegetables instead of the chicken.

When I looked at her strangely, Daisy smiled brightly.

“I like vegetables too.”

After a few rounds of drinks.

I looked around at the mercenaries and said.

“Under me, it doesn’t matter if you’re from Leon or Khaoto. You’re all the same. Think of each other as comrades.”

“…”

“Officer and Daisy, from now on, you’re responsible for making sure this doesn’t happen again. If anyone fights again over Leon or Khaoto or whatever bullshit, that person’s head is gone. The patrol unit should set an example for the locals, not be laughed at. Be ashamed of yourselves.”

“Yes, sir.”

I was about to pick up a piece of chicken stir-fry, but I suddenly noticed that the plate was empty and looked around.

Somehow, all the other plates were also empty.

“We’re all out.”

Donkey, who was in the kitchen, poked his head out with a surprised look on his face.

“Already? I made more than usual.”

“That’s strange.”

It was strange because I hadn’t even eaten a few pieces.

I tilted my head and then changed the subject.

“By the way, the term ‘patrol unit’ keeps sticking. What do you think, Officer?”

Bravo Khan replied.

“What should we change it ast?”

Come to think of it, the patrol unit seemed more appropriate than the mercenary unit now.

I nodded and said.

“Good idea. While we’re at it, let’s change the name too. Dark Sojungi doesn’t roll off the tongue. It’s too dark.”

All the mercenaries except Carrot nodded in agreement.

At that moment, someone sitting next to me suggested an idea.

“How about the Eight-legged Patrol Unit?”

“That’s a shitty name. What the hell?”

Suddenly, the mercenaries, including myself, were surprised and looked at the guy who made the suggestion.

“…What are you doing here?”

It was Eight Legs.

How could we not have noticed his large physique until now?

“I came because I was hungry.”

Bright red sauce was smeared all over his thick lips.

There was a reason why the chicken stir-fry disappeared so quickly.

He must have joined us while we were drinking. I don’t know when he appeared, but if he can blend in so naturally while eating, we have to give him credit.

Each member of the Crazy Mage Squad has their own specialty.

“Impressive. Anyway, we can’t have the Eight-legged Patrol Unit.”

“Do you have a better idea?”

I didn’t have anything in mind, so I looked around, but no one said anything.

One-Eye, who had been silent, made a reasonable suggestion.

“Should we just go with the Khaoto Patrol Unit?”

“That’s better than the Eight-legged Patrol Unit.”

Ponytail chimed in.

“Then, how about removing the ‘To’? It kind of makes me want to throw up.”

I shrugged and replied.

“That makes sense. If there are no better suggestions, let’s go with the Khao Patrol Unit.”

Daisy said while eating her vegetables.

“Let’s go with the Full Khao Patrol Unit.”

“Why?”

“Because I like vegetables.”

Daisy has worked hard, so I should accept her opinion at times like this.

I’m such a considerate person towards my subordinates.

I clapped my hands and said.

“From today, we are the Full Khao Patrol Unit.”

The mercenaries stood up and followed me, clapping like thunder.

Clap clap clap—

As we clapped and drank, the guys who were fighting earlier even became friendly enough to put their arms around each other’s shoulders.

I decided to celebrate a bit more.

“To celebrate our rebirth as a patrol unit, I’ll treat you all. Follow me. Donkey, you come too.”

Arriving at Bearded Blacksmith with my subordinates, I pointed at the display case and looked at the members.

“Choose whatever you like.”

Many of them had chipped or broken weapons from fighting various enemies.

The members looked at each other and smiled brightly…

Beard, who came out of the furnace, also smiled pleasantly.

* * *

While the members were carefully choosing their weapons, I also looked at the display case.

At first, I didn’t have any particular thoughts, but as I looked, my eyes kept going to the spears.

“Mr. Beard.”

Beard clasped his hands together and replied.

“It’s Ralph.”

I also asked with respect for Beard.

“Mr. Ralph. Are these all the spears you have here?”

Ralph tilted his head slightly and replied.

“I have a few more in the back, but there’s not much difference.”

“That’s a shame. Do you not take custom orders?”

The weapons Ralph made were decent enough for the patrol unit to use, but I couldn’t find the type of spear I was looking for.

I was looking at a spear for Makan to use.

The other Crazy Mage Squad members could get magic weapons or artifacts later, but Makan needed to get used to a spear that suited him early on.

Makan needs a heavier and bigger spear.

Ralph asked.

“If it’s a custom order, what kind of spear are you talking about?”

“A heavy spear made of cold iron or star iron would be good. The length should be about my height. Is that possible?”

“Are you going to use it yourself, young master?”

“I’m going to give it to a brute in the Crazy Mage Squad.”

“Ah.”

Ralph shook his head with a troubled look on his face.

“It’s difficult right now. Not only is it hard to find cold iron or star iron, but even if I do, I’m not confident. I haven’t worked with them much.”

“Hmm.”

Seeing my disappointment, Ralph added,

“You’ll probably have to go at least as far as San Baul or San Kris to find them. Maybe there are some in Leon too.”

“Alright.”

Looking around, the unit members were each picking out a weapon and flicking it around.

Donkey also chose a long kitchen knife and let out a satisfied laugh.

“Did everyone choose?”

“Yes!”

I looked around and said.

“Daisy, tell the treasure to pay Ralph, and the rest of you are dismissed.”

The patrol unit members gathered in groups of three or five, wiggling their hips as they disappeared. It was probably their way of expressing excitement.

It looked like they were dancing, but it also didn’t.

While watching their strange wiggling that I didn’t know where they learned, I suddenly spotted a guy still lingering nearby.

“Why aren’t you going, One-Eye?”

Looking closely, it didn’t seem like One-Eye had chosen a weapon.

“Why didn’t you choose one? Nothing caught your eye? You want to live with a skewer?”

One-Eye, hesitating uncharacteristically, gathered his courage and said.

“Boss.”

“What?”

I had a feeling this guy was going to say something strange.

Sure enough.

“Is there any chance I could learn magic too?”

“Magic?”

While making eye contact with One-Eye, I realized the reason.

“Is it because of that Yale guy?”

“…Yes.”

One-Eye had been defeated by Yale before, so he was aware of the gap between them and himself.

He probably didn’t think he could beat them just by practicing swordsmanship diligently.

I shook my head firmly.

“No.”

One-Eye nodded, thinking he was being shameless.

“I’m sorry. Then I’ll be going.”

I watched One-Eye disappear with his head down for a moment.

“Tsk.”

At that moment, Eight Legs, who appeared from somewhere, approached One-Eye and put a piece of dried meat in his pocket.

When One-Eye looked at him strangely, Eight Legs made a ‘Shh-‘ sound and struck his signature pose.

One-Eye’s expression contorted when he saw that Eight Legs’ shoes were pink.

I understood One-Eye’s feelings better than anyone.

“…”

Eight Legs, who had seen One-Eye off, approached me and said.

“He looks sad. Can’t you teach One-Eye magic too?”

“Shut up.”

I realized why I felt strangely annoyed. There was no malice in Eight Legs’ actions.

After standing blankly for a while, feeling a strange and complicated mix of annoying emotions, I suddenly turned my head and looked at the opposite side.

A group of people dressed in uniforms was approaching.

Looking at their faces, they were all men I had never seen before.

“May I ask you a question?”

The man at the front of the procession approached me and asked.

“Do you happen to know where the Samael clan is?”

———