Chapter 219 - Ch. 219 Doubting His Feelings
For Roxy, her home is her palace. And nothing could rival the highest position of her palace on the island.
No matter how spacious and luxurious house her parents had in New York, or the mansion belonging to Mr. Zouch, Roxy still holds her palace as number one in her heart.
Her home on Folkland Island had a garden of her favorite strawberries and red roses. Not only that, there were many trees near her house. Furthermore, her father made a rope swing for her and Kaylee to play there when they were a child.
Well, even though they grew up, she and her sister love to play the rope swing.
She felt she could be at one with nature and loved a free life without any rules in Folkland Island. She didn't need to pay attention to her behavior and could go wild as if she was a free spirit.
When she first appeared one night after letting her other alter take over her body, Roxy was annoyed that there were so many rules in her parents' house.
She was not allowed to come home late at night, and there had to be Wendy or one of her father's bodyguards accompanying her out. Her father even sent one of her youngest confidants to disguise himself as a student for her safety.
Her other alter didn't notice it and befriended the person, but Roxy did. However, she decided to remain silent and did nothing. After all, her other alter needs her father's protection because her soul was too naive and innocent.
However, her other alter rarely appeared lately. She couldn't even talk to her anymore as if her alter ego was gone. She had wondered if it was because she was with Declan too much?
Even though she wanted to lessen her time with Declan, she couldn't do it.
Declan wanted her to be herself when alone with him, and Declan had monopolized her so cunningly to the point she couldn't say no. Roxy didn't mind, and she enjoyed her time alone with Declan.
But once in a while, the feeling of guilt would continue to haunt her, and the devil's voice would constantly corner her.
'Do you deserve to be happy with him?'
'Are you sure your relationship will last?'
That devil voice always crushed her soul and blamed her for her sin in the past. She couldn't even summon her other alter to help her block her memory.
As a result, she couldn't help but feel dejected every time she thought about the possibility that Declan would hate her and leave her.
Which good man would want to be with a woman filled with an evil heart like her? Declan was too good for her.
However, since Roxanne realized the road they were on was somewhat similar to the road leading to her home in the South, her mood was enlivened. It was as if she was brought back to the past, and her dejected feeling was evaporated.
She didn't even think about her worries anymore when she saw the partially finished building of the house.
But Declan pulled her back down to her bottomless despair.
"Are you feeling better now?"
"…"
"I don't know what makes you always feel doubtful and feel like I'm going to leave you. But it hurts me."
Roxy tilted her head up to look at the man's face in confusion. His eagle-like eyes now looked like someone was in pain.
Was she the cause?
"It hurts my heart when you doubt my feelings."
"I… I didn't mean to."
"I know. But you should know too. I'm not a strong man and have many weaknesses. There were times when I hit a dead-end and lost control. Sometimes I even decide to hide and run away."
"You do? But you look like a person who is not afraid of anything."
"It's because I found something I want to protect." Declan cupped Roxy's face with both hands and placed his forehead against hers. Both breaths entangled each other to the point they could feel their lover's breath. "You are my only weakness. You hold my heart key, and only you can break my heart."
Roxy felt her heart beating fast at the same time she felt guilty for making Declan look at her as if she had hurt the man.
It was Declan who brought her out of the cold and lonely world of darkness. His presence brought light to her life. How could Roxy have the heart to hurt that man, let alone toward the man she loved the most.
"I will be the weakest, helpless, and will live like a zombie if you leave me."
"Declan, I… I won't leave you." Roxy cupped Declan's hands which were touching the sides of her head with trembling hands. "Please, don't be afraid…" she couldn't continue her words when she realized something.
Declan was just like her. The man was worried that Roxy would leave him even if Roxy never planned to leave this man. On the other hand, Roxy believed she'd have to leave Declan if this guy found a girl better than her.
During this time, Roxy was often worried even though Declan had reassured her many times. And this time, that man put himself in her shoes and acted as if he doubted her feelings to make her understand.
"You… You're so sneaky, Declan." a sly grin followed her comment.
Declan gave a light kiss on her forehead so gently to the point it provided warmth and peace inside her heart.
"Don't ever doubt my feelings again, love. I didn't lie when I said you hurt me by doing so."
"I won't. I'm sorry." as if she found a home, Roxy snuggled into his arms and inhaled her favorite scent. "But… there's something I need to tell you."
Roxy decided to let him know what happened years ago. She could only get rid of all her guilt by revealing the truth and accepting whatever the outcome.
Only then was she ready to advance their relationship to the next level.