The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

Chapter 15 – Internationalist I

[Proofreader – Gun]

Chapter 15 – Internationalist I

1

There aren’t many things as important to a person as their mental state.

As emphasized in Old Scho’s story, even if you know how to split the sky with a single sword stroke, it’s all for naught if your mental state crumbles.

I, Doctor Jang, also devoted considerable effort to mental management.

My unique method of management was as follows:

For about 5 to 7 turns, roughly 100 years, I work diligently. I hustle to prevent the world from ending.

And then, during the next turn, I enjoy life.

‘Why bother about saving the world? Just let it go.’

I ignore the lives I can save. I don’t step into the fate I can change. I prioritize only my life, my peace, my enjoyment.

For about 20 years, I devote myself entirely to healing my mental state, spending a pleasant vacation.

These are events briefly avoided in the main route, like a kind of side story.

Even if criticized as cowardly, there’s no helping it. There are limits to human mental resilience.

If I hadn’t used this method, I wouldn’t have endured the long life of regression until the 1183rd turn.

Fortunately, the 90th turn fell on what we call a ‘vacation turn.’

It was truly perfect timing. Rest was absolutely necessary to hold onto my sanity, especially after being flown to Mars by Koryori.

“So, I want to ask your opinion. How should I rest to receive praise for resting so well?”

“W-Why are you asking me about that…?”

The fairy trembled in my hand, its head held firmly.

It was the tutorial fairy.

If it had been a normal turn, I would have swiftly cut its throat before killing Seogyu, but this 90th turn was a so-called rest year. I could act as my heart’s compass directed.

Well, considering that I had previously imprisoned the fairies in the 89th turn and filmed a harsh survival program in hell, some of the built-up resentment had been washed away…

Anyway.

After capturing the tutorial fairy, I dragged it to one side of the assembly hall.

At first, the fairy resisted, but after folding its ears twice and turning it into a half-elf, it became very obedient.

“Well, I’m just asking. Come to think of it, we haven’t really had a deep conversation.”

“S-Sob. Why did this crazy person end up in my territory…? Fairy #264 is the unhappiest fairy in the universe…”

“Oh, come on. What’s so unhappy about someone who’s about to chop off a civilian’s head out of nowhere?”

“But, if you don’t impress upon people the fact that this isn’t a joke, won’t it lead to much greater harm and tragedy later on? From a utilitarian standpoint, my response wasn’t wrong!”

“So, you’re a utilitarian.”

I realized a new fact.

This must also be the charm of regression.

“Anyway, tell me your opinion about my vacation. Your fairies are all lives bound to the Fairy Lord, right? You must constantly think about whether you have any wishes if you ever go on vacation.”

“Uh, h-how could…”

The fairy blinked in surprise within my grasp.

“You bastard! Could you be the Protagonist that my seniors warned me about so strongly?”

“Protagonist?”

“Those who experience regression, possession, and reincarnation! Including those with prophetic abilities! They’re our fairies’ most formidable enemies! Because of you lot, in literature, our fairies are treated like early-game mobs!”

“Oh. Are there actually people like that in the fairy world, those experiencing regression, possession, and reincarnation?”

“No? They just regularly appear in classic fairy literature.”

So, old Scho and I were something special after all.

Hoping that there might be more comrades, I felt a bit disappointed.

“Anyway, don’t worry about antagonizing your Fairy Lord. Just give advice on your 20-year vacation plan. If it’s annoying, I will just grind your head into fairy juice.”

“Eek! Dreadful wording! I’ll sue you to the Fairy Rights Committee!”

“There’s no such thing on Earth.”

“What a barbaric civilization…?”

In the end, Fairy #264 raised the white flag.

“Well, well. Anyway, it means you’ve been given 20 years of free time, right? And you feel like going wild during that period?”

“Yes.”

The fairy then put on a determined expression.

“If #264 were given freedom and gained as much power as you, I’d want to thrust the spear of revolution into the belly of the Fairy Lord!”

“…”

A utilitarian and a revolutionary.

I realized a new fact.

This must also be the charm of regression… or maybe not.

It will come up later, but fairies are actually divided into republicans and monarchists. Well, that wasn’t important now.

“Thrust the spear? How? You’re all fitted with explosive devices. If you rebel against the Fairy Lord, your heart will explode, melting your entire body.”

“Uh, how did we get there… Umm. Well, if I’d known that, it would’ve made this conversation easier. Anyway! The Fairy Lord is a much more oppressive monarch than the bourgeoisie! Even if #264’s heart explodes, the Fairy Lord must be overthrown for the progress of history, the innovation of civilization!”

The fairy waved their arms frantically.

“Human! Although your physical development may be primitive and fragile, mentally, you’ve achieved remarkable linear progress! We’ve been deeply moved ever since we read in history books about blowing the noses of monarchs hundreds of years ago, and all of us in the [Fairy Revolution Club]!”

So, there was such a club.

“Unfortunately, our fairy society is in a desperate situation where self-rescue is hopeless! But with a strong human like you, perhaps external salvation is possible! Human! Please help us until the day when the red flag flutters over the Fairy Lord’s navel!”

If this were a game, there would be a ‘ding’ sound with a message saying, ‘A new route has opened. Would you like to help the fairies achieve revolution?’

“Hmm.”

My interest was piqued.

There had been one instance of battling against the Fairy Lord. This time, I wouldn’t be alone; I would recreate it with the fairies as allies.

But I shook my head.

“Sorry, but I’ll have to decline that offer.”

“What…? Why, human?”

“I’m feeling a bit tired mentally right now, so I’m more inclined towards support roles. What I need at the moment is a warm cup of coffee as a lonely urban man, not the bloody tears of a revolutionary charging towards barricades, waving a red flag.”

[Proofreader – Gun]

“What bourgeois nonsense! Even now, despite their unwillingness, fairies are killing humans under the wicked orders of the Fairy Lord! Your compatriots! Their blood, sweat, and tears, are they invisible and inaudible to you? Aren’t you afraid of the wrath of Comrade Marx?”

“Sorry, but the country I live in is fundamentally anti-communist…”

“You capitalist dog! Traitor of the people! You’ll be cursed!”

“I pledge eternal loyalty. Master.”

Of course, around turn 210, I actually did join the [Fairy Revolution Club] as a temporary member and played a role in the revolution. But that’s a story for another turn.

I succeeded in hiring the tutorial fairy.

“Um, excuse me… sir?”

Ah, right.

By the way, Seo Gyu had been eavesdropping on our conversation the whole time. Well, since I saved the fairy from exploding, it was only fair.

Seo Gyu looked at me with a look that said, ‘You’re nuts.’

“What should I do from now on…?”

“Your ability is to operate an internet community, where anyone with awakened abilities can access even without a network.”

“Yes?”

“I think the community name should be SG Net. Thank you for your hard work.”

“Yes?”

I parted ways with Seo Gyu.

I farmed silver bells at the souvenir shop, then piggybacked the fairy. I felt the fairy nodding behind me.

“But, what does my human master plan to do with me? World domination? Revolution? Dictatorship? Ice spear fishing? After succeeding in the revolution, am I going to be exported to other countries under the guise of internationalism, like a generous donor?”

I don’t know what kind of information #264 Fairy read about Earth to have such distorted prejudice.

But, as the fairy said, I’m a capitalist dog.

I was considering dipping my toes into the forefront of modern consumer culture.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“We’re going to open a convenience store.”

2

24-hour convenience store.

Before the Gate Incident, it was a common sight in Korea, although not as nostalgic as a neighborhood mom-and-pop store. But as the world started to collapse, convenience stores also confidently made it onto the list of ‘nostalgic items.’

“Hey, youngest. Go buy me some chewing gum from the convenience store.”

“Yes?”

Convenience store jokes were often used by awakened individuals to tease the youngest.

From my regression experience, there were surprisingly many awakened individuals who, even as the currency value collapsed, refused to throw away their wallets.

Ironically, people who used to rely solely on credit cards now carried cash after the collapse of civilization.

Partly because the cards became useless, but… money must have been like a talisman to them, a wish for the world not to end.

It was quite strange, but when multinational awakened individuals gathered to carry out operations, there was even a custom of exchanging each other’s country’s currency. Koreans exchanged won, Americans exchanged dollars.

Like soccer players exchanging uniforms after a game.

So, at one point, my wallet collected more than 30 types of currency.

Why am I suddenly saying all this? To emphasize that in a world where people are dying, not only do they not throw away money, but they also assign immense value to ‘nostalgia.’

“We’re going to create the only convenience store operating normally in the world.”

“Hmm.”

“A truly ambitious aspiration!

After forcibly occupying a convenience store in Seoul (the owner fled anyway). It was the convenience store where I first met the saintess, a memory now filled with grandeur comparable to world conquest.

Even after hearing about my grand plan, #264 Fairy, or rather our store’s first employee, blinked in surprise.

“What was that sound of crunching on something solid like a solidpapul?”

“What’s a ‘solidpapul’?”

“If I had to choose the most appropriate word in Earth’s language, it would be ‘puppy’.”

So, it was the sound of a dog crunching on grass.

But I’ve already lived more than a hundred lifetimes. I’m skilled in convincing others.

“264. There’s a major flaw in your world revolutionary theory.”

“Hmm?”

“The world is vast, and there are many people. Asking each of them to join the cause of revolution is something only riffraff would do.”

I declared solemnly.

“A true master doesn’t go out seeking people. They make them come to them.”

“…!”

“We will create a convenience store where workers from all nations come voluntarily. This is the revolutionary base of the Sixth International! You are the first flagbearer of that vanguard, our proud store clerk. The success of our International depends on how sincerely you serve the customers!”

“Comrade Manager…!”

The fairy, still lying on the not-yet-cleaned floor of the store, shed tears like chicken poop. The scent of flowers emanated from the fairy’s tears, instantly freshening up the store.

I’ll save on air fresheners.

“I’ve been gravely mistaken about you, Comrade Manager! I pledge eternal loyalty!”

“Yes. As this is a business for revolution, I hope you will serve the customers at the headquarters’ counter unpaid for 365 days.”

“Yes! Unpaid!”

Although #264 had transitioned from being a slave of the Fairy Lord to my own slave, it seemed happy.

Isn’t happiness all that matters?

I stole a political banner from a nearby intersection.

Turning the banner upside down, I used my calligraphy skills akin to chicken scratches to write words. Then, I hung it in front of the store.

[Our store is open for business as usual.]

It was a historic moment when ‘The Sixth International,’ the last convenience store of humanity on Seoul’s Banpo Bridge, opened its doors.

[Proofreader – Gun]