The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]

Chapter 169

──────

The Diver I

1

Breaking news.

Lee Hayul is sulking.

"......"

The reason is simple.

She was left out of a trip to the Uyuni Salt Flats, which tops her bucket list (spanning nine A4 pages).

Lee Hayul is angry.

And this little guy’s way of expressing anger is downright childish.

She decided to stage a “From now on, I will neither speak nor listen” protest.

"Hayul-ah."

"......"

Whip. Her head turned left.

"Hayul-ah. I said I'm sorry, okay?"

"......"

Whip. Her head turned right.

She kept turning her head no matter how hard I tried to make eye contact.

Her head-turning skills were so impressive that our gazes always aligned in perfect parallel like an Olympic synchronized swimmer's legs.

'Agh.'

I knew this would happen.

That’s why, when Hayul asked, "Oppa, where are you going?" as I was about to leave for the Uyuni trip, I just vaguely answered, "Oh, well, just somewhere nice."

I thought I’d be back in a week at most.

Normally, Hayul, who is indifferent to others like General Choi Young, wouldn't care about a week-long disappearance.

Wouldn’t, that is.

As revealed in the last episode, I had been scammed into booking a fraudulent airline ticket.

The travel schedule extended from one week to three months.

Even the content of the trip had changed. The original goal, which was to enjoy the Uyuni Salt Flats, lasted only two days. The remaining 87 days turned into a field trip titled, “How did Homo sapiens cross the Pacific to reach Hawaii? Let’s find out!”

There was no one to complain to.

Just like with humans, concepts like "refund," "fair compensation," and "well-written apology" were almost nonexistent in the world of anomalies. The party left holding the bag was always a good-natured customer like me.

- Just go die, please...

- Oppa. So, where have you been?

After all the hardships I went through to finally return to the Korean Peninsula, the only welcome I received was a chokehold from Noh Doha and cold eyes from Hayul.

An explanation was inevitable.

Hence, the current situation.

The world is not like a dating sim where once you max out affection, it stays that way. Realizing that I went to the Uyuni Salt Flats without her, Hayul began recalibrating her affection.

"Hayul-ah? Can’t we talk?"

Hayul pretended not to hear.

“Something’s off. I keep smelling a middle-aged man’s scent.”

My fragile, middle-aged heart took a big hit. I nearly suffered cardiac arrest.

‘Is this what a father feels when facing his child’s rebellious phase?!’

As a regressor, I never thought I’d experience such emotions, but here I was.

I barely managed to speak.

“…Let’s go to the Uyuni Salt Flats together later.”

Whip. Hayul turned her head.

For the first time in three days, our eyes met. The jaw of the maid doll that Hayul always carried suddenly became flexible.

“Later? When?”

“When summer’s over. This fall.”

“Really?”

“Really. While we’re at it, we can stop by Machu Picchu and even head up to Tenochtitlán for an American-themed trip.”

“Oppa, I love you!”

The false sensation of love wrapped around my shoulder. I shivered. How humiliating.

“…But in return, you have to help me prepare for this year’s monsoon season. No complaints, and follow this guild leader’s orders. Got it?”

“Okay!”

Even the mere mention of the word ‘travel’ made my body convulse at this point, but there was no other choice.

Hayul's assistance was absolutely necessary to get through the annual disaster event safely.

The event’s name is ‘monsoon season.’

Yes.

The great summer event that strikes fear and terror into the unconscious minds of everyone on the Korean Peninsula was approaching.

2

Some of you might find it odd that I haven’t talked much about the ‘weather’ despite all the stories I’ve told so far.

That’s a very sharp observation.

In fact, Earth is already experiencing an ongoing apocalypse without the need for anomalies to descend.

All because of the weather.

Every year, polar bears, crying as they drift on chunks of ice, float down from the Arctic.

A climate apocalypse.

Literally, the hypothesis that the world might be destroyed due to climate change.

It was a hypothesis already taken seriously to a significant degree, but the anomalies took it a step further.

- The weather in Daegu is insane. How can it be 42 degrees, even in summer? Is this a city or a desert?

- Could it be that it actually turned into a desert?

- "What?

Daegu really became a desert.

No exaggeration, the city actually underwent desertification.

And it wasn’t just Daegu. The Gaema Plateau in North Korea turned into a paradise for polar bears migrating from Siberia. The tigers of the Baekdu Mountain Range, which had spectacularly announced their resurrection as anomalies named "Mountain Lords," suddenly had some tough competition.

But the Korean Peninsula was relatively fortunate.

In neighboring Japan, "earthquakes" became a constant visitor with every season.

Not just ordinary earthquakes, but a continental-level anomaly known as the "Tokai Earthquake." A myriad of anomalies related to earthquakes appeared, mingling together.

This is why I hold the magical girls of Japan in such high regard.

Given these circumstances, the regions where humans could still live became extremely limited.

In a way, the "climate anomalies" were the greatest threat to the survival of Homo sapiens.

So, what kind of climate specialties does Busan, the new capital of the Korean Peninsula, the last hope, and the final utopia, have――.

"The monsoon season is coming."

"......"

"......"

The tension in the meeting room was palpable.

The number of people gathered here, at the heart of the National Road Management Unit, was small.

However, considering their identities, this was truly the heart of Busan, or rather, the heart of the Korean Peninsula.

Present were Noh Doha, head of the National Road Management Unit; Yoo Jiwon, Operations Control Room Director; Tang Seorin, Guild Union Leader; Seo Gyu, SG Network Operator; and Sim Aryeon, Saintess of the Eastern Holy Kingdom, among others.

"This year’s monsoon season will be the worst on record. If we’re not thoroughly prepared, the entire Korean Peninsula could be wiped out during the monsoon."

"Every year they say it’s the worst on record, but I’m not sure how this year is any different..."

"I saw it firsthand while crossing the Pacific. Super-typhoons are forming in the western North Pacific."

Tang Seorin flinched. Her face suddenly grew pale, and her hands began to tremble.

This trip had left trauma for both me and her.

"Take a look at this."

I brought up a PowerPoint presentation.

Even while barely surviving the journey across the Pacific on a makeshift raft, I managed to take these photos with the anomaly camera.

The file named "MonsoonCurrentStatus.jpeg" displayed an image of the "typhoon." Noh Doha’s brows furrowed deeply as he looked at the evidence.

"What on earth is that...?"

"It’s a typhoon."

"Fuck, that's not wind; it's a waterspout of seawater. And you’re saying that’s a typhoon...?"

"Don’t expect common sense from anomalies."

Indeed, this year’s typhoon had a diameter of 1,200 kilometers.

And it was entirely made of water.

Whoever first called water the mother of life would reconsider after seeing this typhoon. Water kills people.

"Other regions can manage if they prepare as they do every year, but Busan is a different story. If that typhoon hits directly, the entire city will turn into Atlantis. We need to come up with a plan quickly."

"Let’s just run away..."

A shocking declaration! The head of the National Road Management Unit suggests abandoning the capital!

Noh Doha, infected by the anomaly known as "Capitals are meant to be abandoned," a curse no ruler of the Korean Peninsula could escape, was now proposing to abandon Busan.

I shook my head at Noh Doha, who was ready to inherit the Joseon Dynasty’s specialty of retreating.

"We can’t run away, Chief."

"Are you saying we should endure that? How? By what means? I’d rather face a tsunami than that thing. If it lands onshore, the coastline could be pushed back to Daegu... Wouldn't it be wiser to evacuate all Busan citizens into the Inunaki Tunnel and flee to Seoul...?"

I gave him a pitying look.

"Chief, you can’t avoid the monsoon typhoon. If Busan manages to escape, the typhoon will definitely land in another city."

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]

"Huh? What’s that supposed to mean...?"

"This isn’t a natural phenomenon; it’s an anomaly. It’s impossible for the Korean Peninsula to get through the monsoon without any damage. The anomaly will push until there’s destruction, and the summer monsoon season will continue. Someone has to bear the brunt of that 1,200-kilometer-wide water bomb."

"......"

"Is there any city as well-prepared as Busan? Any region where power is as concentrated as it is here? In the end, we’re the most efficient option. If we don’t take the hit, half of the cities on the Korean Peninsula will be wiped out."

"Damn it..."

Noh Doha shuddered at the horrific prospect of the anomaly.

As the mood of the highest authority soured, the atmosphere in the meeting room naturally plummeted.

Among them, only Sim Aryeon, who thought eating humble pie meant eating out of a dog bowl, raised her hand slightly.

"Um, Guild Leader?"

"Go ahead."

"Well, I don’t think the typhoon will reach Pyongyang New Holy City, and it doesn’t seem related to my jurisdiction. So, can I leave now...?"

"For the record, if a monsoon of this level hits, SG Network will go down as well."

"Huh? How long are we talking about?"

"Well, even in the best-case scenario, about two weeks? Whenever it rains too much, an anomaly that disrupts internet communication always tags along."

"The Eastern Holy Kingdom will mobilize all its forces to help our brothers and sisters in Busan!"

…And then, Sim Aryeon gently placed her hands over mine.

Her gaze was more serious and profound than any I had seen from her before.

Honestly, she looked even more somber than when she once said, "I really love the café mocha that the guild master makes."

“Sigh…”

Noh Doha scratched the back of his head.

"Chief, sighing will drive away your luck."

"Screw that! Stop with the old man's crap. So, how exactly do we deal with this massive water bomb? You wouldn’t have called this meeting without a plan, right?"

"Of course. Everyone, please turn your attention here."

I confidently flipped to the next slide in the PowerPoint presentation.

In a fresh, modern font, it read:

[Plan to Prevent Flood Damage from the Great Monsoon]

[STEP.1]

[The Noh Doha Name Change Project!]

Silence filled the room.

“…Huh?”

It took a while for Noh Doha to react.

"A name change? What the hell does that have to do with anything…?"

"Chief Noh Doha, it may be distressing to consider changing the precious name given to you by your parents. But when dealing with anomalies, nothing is more important than your name. For the safety of the good citizens of Busan, please change your name, at least for this summer."

"No, seriously, what does my name have to do with the safety of Busan…?"

"From now on, your name is not Noh Doha."

I looked at the supreme ruler of the Korean Peninsula with utmost seriousness.

"From now on, you are 'Noah.'"

"…?"

"Well, what are you waiting for, Noah? Aren’t you going to start building the Ark?"

"You little son of a――."

Project: Building Noah’s Ark, Begin!

The “Ark of Noah” described in the Bible boasts an impressive set of specs.

However, what I’m focusing on is not the Ark, but Noah himself. My guess is that he was definitely an ancient archmage.

First, Noah managed to store all living species on Earth within a ship only 135 meters long.

This included, of course, blue whales and various fish. This suggests that the Ark had a giant aquarium, the largest in the world.

In other words, the Ark must have had a “my inventory is infinite” spell cast on it.

Moreover, this infinite subspace was created using purely wood. After all, Noah was a man from the Bronze Age.

The fact that even modern engineering can’t accomplish this is entirely irrelevant.

While science advances with time, magic becomes more potent the further back you go.

For the ancient archmage Noah, reinforcing wood to be as strong as steel was just a given.

Unfortunately, modern-day Noah (formerly Noh Doha) had zero talent for magic.

Instead, there was another great magician who would serve as Noah's magic wand.

“A――Ah―― Ah――.”

Tang Seorin, an awakened being with an extraordinary talent for magic, sang atop the highest peak of Busan, Geumjeongsan Mountain.

Crack, creak, snap, crunch—

Moved by the quality of the outdoor concert, trees voluntarily uprooted themselves and gathered along the sleek ridge of Geumjeongsan.

Indeed, although I haven’t often mentioned it in my tales, Tang Seorin’s incantation magic also shines in support roles. This is why, in a different timeline, she constructed a giant potato mecha.

I donned a helmet emblazoned with “Safety First” and smiled contentedly.

“The Ark construction is progressing smoothly.”

“…”

“Well then, Mr. Noah… I mean, Chief Noah, I’ll leave it to you. Please go forward and kneel.”

At the Geumjeongsan construction site, in addition to Tang Seorin, Noah, Sim Aryeon, Lee Hayul, and I had gathered.

And there was one more surprising guest.

An actor essential for the role of 'God' in this drama of Ark construction. A role just as important as Noah's.

None other than Jesus Christ, Mo Gwangseo.

"Hayul, are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Good. Then… Mr. Noah, what are you waiting for? Go kneel before Christ of Mo Gwangseo. You may bow as well."

“…”

Noh Doha opened his lips. He wore a name tag that read "Noah."

“Do we really have to do this, Doctor Jang…?”

“We have to.”

My response was firm.

“We are attempting to harness the most powerful mythology on Earth—Genesis. We need to have at least the basics in place for ‘Noah’s Ark’ to work.”

“…”

“Well, get on with it, will you?”

Noh Doha cursed the world under his breath as he knelt.

Then, Mo Gwangseo looked down at Noh Doha.

As always, he wore a benevolent smile.

Of course, Mo Gwangseo had no will of his own. Every action and line was controlled by the puppeteer, Lee Hayul.

Mo Gwangseo (feat. Lee Hayul) spoke.

“All living beings have corrupted the earth; the end of all flesh has come before me. I will destroy them along with the earth.”

“…”

“Noah, so make yourself an ark.”

Noah’s lips trembled, his tongue quivering, teeth grinding, as he muttered softly.

“…Yes, sir.”

God commanded, and Noah obeyed.

A reenactment of the Genesis prophecy!

There might have been a minor error in that the actor playing God was also cast as His son, but it didn’t matter. Anomalies didn’t nitpick historical accuracy.

Now, Noh Doha had truly become Noah.

From now on, any vessel he was involved in constructing would serve as an Ark.

“Damn, what a fucked-up world…”

Though the actor cast as Noah was a bit foul-mouthed for a savior of humanity, it didn’t matter.

“You damn regressor, this is payback for when you disappeared for three months, isn’t it…?”

It was baseless slander. Where could you find another regressor as professional as me, who so thoroughly separates personal and professional matters?

I gazed wistfully out at the sea off Busan.

It was July. The SSS-class Great Monsoon was moving north toward the Korean Peninsula.

Summer was here.

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]