The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

[Proofreader – Gun]

Chapter 83 – Collaborators I

1

I faced ‘Endless,’ the worst enemy, an Outer God-tier monstrosity, but I didn’t respond immediately.

Instead, I waited for the right moment.

For an infinite regressor, waiting is on another level. Imagine the frustration and anxiety you feel when your food delivery is delayed by three minutes—multiply that by about thirteen, and you get the waiting of an infinite regressor. It’s a truly superhuman patience.

During this period, I focused on maximizing my power.

Did I train in martial arts? Of course not. As Old Scho would say, my combat sense was closer to that of a beaver. Underestimating the combat talents of someone with a support background would be a mistake.

But even for someone like me—or rather, because of who I am—there was still a way to maximize my power.

“Noh Doha Workshop Master.”

“…”

Noh Doha’s expression was as usual.

This person’s face was normally set in a default state of decay, so making it look even more decayed now would just add to the normality.

“Hey, I haven’t said anything yet, so why are you looking at me like I’m a piece of crap?”

“Because whenever you call me ‘Noh Doha Workshop Master’ instead of ‘Noh Doha Teacher,’ it’s highly likely that you’re about to spout some personal nonsense. Your personal pain, anger, venting, goodwill, your act of being human, your signals that you alone recognize my humanity—all of it means nothing more or less than an annoyance to me.”

“Noh Doha Workshop Master. You’ve been working too hard lately. I have some free time, so how about we go on a vacation? A backpacking trip, just the two of us, like college friends.”

“You piece of shit…”

“I knew you’d like it.”

And so, Noh Doha and I set off on our trip.

If it had been after the 380th turn, after establishing the ‘Idea Ranch,’ we could have traveled together on dinosaurs (and we actually did later), but unfortunately, it was only the 100th turn now.

If it had just been me, I would’ve used some quasi-flight technique to zip around. If it were anyone but Noh Doha, I would’ve carried them to enjoy the speed together.

However, Noh Doha shyly refused the latter solution, saying, “Oh, if you wanted to see me commit suicide, you should have just said so.” What a shy guy.

Therefore, our means of transportation were severely limited. Finding the best solution amidst these difficulties proved my worth as a regressor.

*Rumbling sound*…

Noh Doha, riding on our transportation, maintained his usual expression as we moved.

“Doctor Jang…”

“Yes?”

“Is this really the best method…?”

“Yes.”

*Rumbling sound*…

“No matter how precious fuel is, surely there must be better means of transportation—like a dump truck, or using the National Road Administration’s power, or your miraculous regressor power—something more plausible than this, right? Even a bicycle would be better…”

“Oh, you’re joking. We’re on a personal trip; we can’t waste the Administration’s resources. And bicycles would break down too quickly on rough roads.”

*Rumbling sound*…

“Still, what the hell… Where did you even find this goddamn yogurt cart?”

Indeed.

We were currently riding on the world’s first and only refrigerated electric cart for a delivery manager, the 3rd generation model CoCo (Cold&Cold) 3.0.

Also known as the ‘yogurt lady cart,’ its apricot-colored exterior was beautiful, and it was an ancient artifact that traversed neighborhoods with the skill of teleportation.

I drove while Noh Doha sat on top of the cart. I had even customized it with the finest cushions, so his butt wouldn’t hurt.

“Please refrain from such harsh words. This is, after all, a ‘yogurt cart’ monstrosity.”

“A monstrosity…?”

“Yes. No matter how rough the road, it goes up without a hitch. No matter how remote the neighborhood, it arrives without fail. Have you ever seen a yogurt cart broken down or stranded?”

“No, but…”

“That’s the point. Most Koreans have only observed yogurt carts in ‘perfectly fine’ condition. Even if it seems physically impossible, this monstrosity somehow always manages to produce the outcome of ‘successfully arrived.’”

“What nonsense…?”

“Watch this.”

*Rumbling sound*…

An asphalt road spread out before us. The cart bravely advanced over the heavily damaged road, which was almost indistinguishable from a crumbled cookie.

The cart wheel jolted as it fell into a concrete gap. Noh Doha’s face darkened.

“It’s going to….”

But the cart, in a strange twist, clung to the concrete surface and came back onto the normal path unscathed.

“…keep going?”

It was literally a different level of movement.

No matter how broken the concrete, how messed up the tiles, or how bumpy the tree roots, the yogurt cart, with a slight jolt, continued straight ahead ‘without any issue.’

It traversed roads so damaged that even cars and most people couldn’t pass, wobbling but continuing onward.

Truly the pinnacle of Korean engineering. An SSS-class lost technology artifact.

“What… is this bullshit…?”

“This is the yogurt cart monstrosity. Workshop Master, you may praise me now.”

“Wait, does this thing move without any fuel or charging?”

“Yes. And the refrigerator you’re sitting on can keep food or drinks fresh for a long time. Even meat stored in yogurt-shaped containers stays fresh for over a year.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, if you had something this amazing, you should have told the National Road Administration instead of playing backpacking cosplay! We should immediately gather all these carts from across the country and assign them to the administration. In this fucked-up era, this could revolutionize logistics and even serve as wheelchairs for the elderly…”

“Oh. There’s only one.”

“…”

“I tried to see if mass production was possible by experimenting with other relatively intact carts, but this is the only one that exists as a ‘monstrosity.’ So, I’m just using it as my beloved car.”

“Damn…”

Anyway, our two-person party, consisting of the shadowy mastermind and the light’s great demon king, traveled without incident.

Noh Doha grumbled, but he enjoyed everything. After all, we lavishly filled the refrigerated cart with meats, vegetables, and various carbs, cooking delicious meals at every mealtime.

“You know, Doctor Jang…”

[Proofreader – Gun]

“What is it?”

“You’re utterly useless to my life, but your cooking skills are national treasure-level. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t even treat you as human…”

“…?”

As someone whose DNA had “workaholic” etched into it, Noh Doha had likely been experiencing burnout from running the National Road Administration.

As our pleasant camping trip extended from one day to two, to three, and even longer, Noh Doha’s face gradually became more serene. The fatigue and grime on his heart were washed away.

I was truly excellent at comforting and caring for tired hearts.

“You damned regressor bastard. How long do you plan to wander outside? What if Guild Leader of the Three Thousand Worlds hears about this, do you want to see me die?”

“…?”

Finally, on the sixth day of our trip, our exciting backpacking group reached its destination.

The Taebaek Mountains. Jeongseon.

Once the most famous mining area among Koreans (now known for something else), stood before us, and Noh Doha had an utterly ordinary expression.

“What kind of backwater is this…?”

“As you can see, it’s a village.”

The mine in Jeongseon had formed a village. The terrain was quite peculiar.

In the middle of a mountain cliff, a massive cave was hollowed out, and within that cave, village buildings sprouted like mushrooms.

It was a mining village, the essence of feng shui with just the first part, “behind the mountain, before the water.”

“The houses are made of stone…?”

“They used fireproof materials. Not a bad choice of building material.”

“The villagers seem abnormally short…?”

“Considering the times, having a large body just means consuming more nutrients unnecessarily, so it’s a result of convergent evolution.”

“All the residents have thick beards…?”

“It’s a means to maintain a constant body temperature. These villagers have an incredible ability to adapt to their environment.”

“They’re dwarfs, aren’t they…?”

Hmm.

I nodded.

“You could call them that. But calling them dwarfs sounds a bit racist, don’t you think? Let’s use the term ‘dwarves’ instead.”

“You said we were going on a backpacking trip, and you brought me to a level 1 void with a different race? Are you insane…?”

Dwarves. A staple race in the fantasy genre.

In every story, they’re born with the attribute of ‘excellent blacksmiths’ ingrained in their national spirit. Thus, the masterpieces crafted by dwarves are often regarded as lost technology relics, much like the yogurt cart we were riding.

Now you might guess why I went through the trouble of coming to this remote void in the Taebaek Mountains to enhance my power.

That’s right.

I came to get some gear.

2

I first discovered this place, known as the ‘Jeongseon Dwarf Mine,’ during my 54th regression.

At that time, I had just established the National Road Administration, and I was traveling all over the country to complete the National Map (upgraded version).

Jeongseon Dwarf Mine was a village that seemed straight out of a fantasy novel.

All around, the clanging sounds of metal being hammered echoed, and dwarves were tirelessly moving about.

Despite the decline of mining in the Taebaek Mountains, the dwarf village was alive with the constant noise pollution of pickaxes and hammers.

However, the voids of this world were never easy. This place, set to revive as a bustling mining village, had its own peculiarities that made it hard to simply call it an ordinary village.

“Hello?”

-……

“Can you understand me? Hello? Can you recognize me?”

-……

“An inferior race compared to elves. Your beards are extremely ugly.”

Clang!

The ‘dwarves’ continued hammering on their anvils without any reaction. They acted as if I didn’t exist.

Upon closer inspection, it was clear that these were not your typical dwarves.

Their beards were indeed bushy, but their eyes were hollow pits, and their mouths were mere holes where lips should have been.

This was not a figure of speech.

They had no eyelids or lips.

-……, …….

Clang, clang-!

Their arms were grotesquely muscular, like the statue of Hercules, creating an oddly unbalanced physique. These lumps of flesh exhaled strange breaths from their ‘mouth holes’ as they ceaselessly hammered.

-Oh……. Ohon……. Oh… Oh……

The air did not come from their lungs, but rather from their entire bodies, which seemed to be made of leather drums, producing a whistling sound from deep within their forms.

Not the breath of life, but the whistle of the abyss.

“Hm.”

…Even as the greatest linguistic genius in Earth’s history, I found Dwarvish a bit challenging. Of course, that was to be expected. It wasn’t an Earth language.

I felt a pang of disappointment in my mouth.

‘If I could commission a weapon from the dwarves, it would undoubtedly be a legendary sword effective against monsters.’

After exploring the mining village, I found that there were a total of seven blacksmith dwarves, none of whom I could communicate with.

In the end, during my 54th regression, I only identified the location of the void and returned without any substantial gain.

3

“Wait a minute…”

Noh Doha interrupted my story.

“Then why did you drag me to this remote place? You can’t communicate with them, and they won’t make any equipment for you, right…?”

“Oh. It’s fine. I didn’t plan to ask the dwarves to make me a weapon anyway.”

“…? Then why?”

“Think about it, Forge Master. Even if we can’t communicate normally, if these really are monsters imitating dwarves from fiction, wouldn’t their hammering and tanning techniques contain significant mysteries? Just as a protagonist with martial arts talent can learn much from watching a swordmaster, a skilled blacksmith could learn a lot from watching these dwarves hammer.”

“Hah…?”

“And those ores the dwarves are hammering, they aren’t found on Earth. They might be called adamantium or something. Naturally, the technique to smelt those ores into weapons would be exclusive to these dwarves, not modern Earthlings. To smelt these minerals, a skilled blacksmith would need to learn from the dwarves.”

“…?”

“Wow. What a coincidence. Right before my eyes stands the most talented blacksmith in Korean history. Ta-da.”

“…”

“Ta-daaa-”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Oh. So, you want to learn by watching these non-communicative monsters handle some adamantium or whatever, then make yourself an SSS-grade weapon…?”

“Exactly.”

“Please, just die already.”

“Oh, I heard that in a previous regression too.”

“…?”

“In the previous regression, I just carried you here within a day by force. You strangled me to death for treating you lightly, saying to see if I really would die. I didn’t expect you to actually do it, but anyway. So, this time, instead of carrying you, I brought the yogurt cart monster to make your journey more comfortable. Didn’t I do well?”

“You insane, crazy bastard――.”

He strangled me.

This time, I didn’t die.

[Proofreader – Gun]