Chapter 245:
My Name is ‘Misa’ (3)
-Ricardo’s perspective in the viewing.
I glanced at Michail’s eyes.
“What…?”
Michail’s pupils, which initially held confusion, soon began to reflect the emotion of anger.
“How do you know that name?”
“Because I am that person…”
I said in a trembling voice.
“Shut up…”
Michail demanded, his voice rising as he questioned how I could possibly know the name of a memory no one else could. His emotions were laid bare, more intense than when he had harmed someone, as he shouted furiously.“Don’t you dare speak of my memories with that filthy mouth.”
In the viewing, I wore an awkward smile. My expression showed that I was troubled, unsure of how to handle the situation.
It was the first time I had experienced someone denying who I said I was.
Watching myself, I let out a bitter sigh and shook my head. I wondered if I had really been that important to Michail.
I had only been his friend, yet Michail had remembered me, holding onto the memories of me from the past. It was both touching and awkward.
‘This is troublesome.’
In the viewing, I spoke to Michail in a calm voice, as if nothing was wrong.
“Thank you for remembering me like that.”
“Shut up.”
“I didn’t expect you to still remember me.”
As expected, I am who I am.
The thought was the same.
I let out a hollow laugh and shook my head.
There was something I had been curious about for a long time.
Once I revealed the truth to Michail, how would he perceive me?
As the benefactor who saved his life?
An old classmate he hadn’t seen in a long time?
Honestly, I hadn’t expected Michail to treat me warmly. From my perspective, I didn’t think I was someone who would leave a significant mark on him. At least, that was my assumption.
More than anything, I was curious about my own reaction. Even I didn’t fully understand myself.
Would I laugh and reminisce about the past, or would I lash out at Michail, venting the resentment that had built up? I wasn’t sure how I would react when the time came.
In the viewing, I began to speak to Michail, who was glaring at me with murderous intent, his lips tightly sealed.
Given the situation, I was exhausted, and my tone was laced with irritation as I spoke to Michail.
“I did my best, but Michail, you seem to hate me so much.”
“…Who told you that name?”
“Are we back to that again? Why can’t you just believe me?”
“Answer me.”
“Sigh…”
In the viewing, I began to hurl sharp words at Michail, who refused to believe me.
“I did everything I could for you, Michail.”
“Stop evading the question and answer me properly…”
“I tried to help you grow up more comfortably, and I did my best not to cause you any harm.”
“…Ricardo!!!”
“I…!!!”
As I slowly revealed the truth, Michail’s face began to pale.
“That day, I held back the High Priest in your place…!”
“Please…”
“And when I saved you from being swept away by the river, I didn’t even hear a single word of thanks, yet I still helped you.”
“No… This can’t be.”
“Why are you so disappointed in me?”
In the viewing, I shouted at Michail, standing in the rain. It seemed that as I spoke, I was getting swept up in my emotions. How foolish.
“Why is everything I do considered arrogant or wrong in your eyes?”
“…It
“Do you hate me that much?”
“…”
“I asked for nothing in return, only offering help. I was your childhood friend, standing by your side. Do you really hate me that much?”
“…That’s not it. I…”
“Then what am I to you? I’ve been going through hell just to keep the promise I made to protect you as a child. When the Academy caught fire, I rushed in, worried you might be there. Why do I have to be called trash by you?”
With a voice filled with bitterness, I poured out my resentment to Michail.
“Do you think I killed our friend because I wanted to? Do you think I killed him because I enjoyed it? I’m human too. I feel guilt, just like anyone else. Sure, I may be trash, but I’m still a person.”
“…”
“That friend you speak of, the one who was targeting your life from behind, I protected you from him. Was that a crime?”
“…Why.”
“Why did I do it?”
In the viewing, I had more pent-up resentment than I had realized. Once the floodgates opened, I began to pour out everything.
All the misunderstandings.
Though I hadn’t expressed it outwardly, deep inside, I had been festering with grievances. Clenching my fists, I continued to spit out my frustrations.
“Because I made a promise.”
“…”
“I did it to keep that damn promise. I didn’t want you to suffer as much, so I stepped in.”
“…”
“I hate you for hurting her, and I want to punch you right now, but I made a promise. Damn it… I made a promise, and I keep my promises. I didn’t want to break it, just like your mother didn’t want to break hers.”
“I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t know! Why do you hate only me?”
Watching myself in the viewing, I smiled bitterly. I was grateful that I had finally said what I needed to, but it didn’t feel particularly cool or heroic.
I lowered my head and muttered softly.
‘Wasn’t that a bit too harsh?’
After all, I am a lady.
‘You wouldn’t understand.’
I let out a hollow laugh and nodded my head.
Michail stood there, unable to say anything. Tears streamed down his cheeks, soaking the ground beneath him, and he couldn’t even look me in the eye.
Sobbing, Michail reached out with trembling hands, trying to grab the sleeve of my coat.
“
“…”
“I’m a bad person. It’s fine if I die… So, please.”
In the viewing, I avoided Michail’s outstretched hand and declared the end of our relationship. I cursed him, telling him I no longer wanted to be involved with him.
“I don’t want to be tied to you anymore.”
“…Minhyuk!!!”
“Don’t call me.”
“…Huh?”
“Just like you told me. Don’t call me with that mouth.”
“
Michail chased after me as I walked away.
Begging me not to leave.
Even when he tripped over a puddle, falling to the ground.
Even when the curious gazes of the students around him were fixed on him.
Michail ran for a long time, trying to catch up with me in the viewing.
‘…’
It didn’t feel good.
Watching that scene didn’t bring me any sense of relief. Even knowing that Michail was a girl now didn’t change my feelings. Seeing a girl desperately chasing after me while I coldly ignored her left a bad taste in my mouth.
‘Idiot.’
I shook my head as I watched myself walk away resolutely. If I had been swept up in my emotions back then, something like that would have happened.
I pressed my lips together and held back my words.
The scene shifted.
In the dark room, Michail remained alone, captured in the viewing.
The rain stopped.
The sun rose.
The moon set again.
Despite the many days that passed on the calendar, Michail remained holed up in the dormitory, not moving.
“I’m
In the darkness, with no light entering, Michail sat hugging his knees, worrying about someone who would never come, living out his days in that state.
Occasionally, someone would knock on Michail’s door.
-Michail, are you in there…?
Yuria came looking for him.
-Michail, student.
A professor came looking for him.
-Michail, if you don’t come out right now, you’ll be expelled.
Chartia came, urging him to continue his studies, but Michail remained locked in his room, showing no intention of coming out.
“I’m
Michail opened a notebook and began writing letters. The recipient was Ricardo. At the same time, he addressed the letters to Lee Minhyuk, the person from his memories, writing apology after apology, though no reply ever came.
-I’m sorry… I’m really sorry.
Apologies filled the pages.
-I want to come find you, but I’m afraid you’ll hate me. So, I write letters instead. If you tell me not to send them, I won’t. If you say you don’t want to see me, I’ll leave. But please, just once.
Desperately, he wrote.
-Please, just send me one reply.
As Michail wrote these unanswered letters, the darkness around him deepened.
***
-The viewing has ended.
They had seen different futures.
One man let out a deep sigh.
-Haa…
One woman writhed in uncontrollable sorrow.
-No… This isn’t right…
Having witnessed different futures, their hearts were filled with complex emotions.
Love.
Jealousy.
Friendship.
The musical score, filled with emotions too difficult to put into words, concluded with a period, not a repeat sign.
A period, not a repeat.
“…”
Both of them closed their eyes, lost in thought.
-Thud.
Rain began to fall.
-Thud thud thud.
Raindrops fell one by one onto my outstretched palm. The raindrops that fell on my shoulders as I walked through the streets of the capital slowly soaked into my collar.
I smiled faintly and opened my umbrella.
“Damn it.”
I thought speaking now would be a mistake.
I concluded that once I had regained some composure, I would be able to speak properly. After all, choosing the best option rather than the worst would be more beneficial for the life of someone who had been possessed.
“Hoo.”
Smiling faintly at the thought of something that hadn’t happened, I slowly strolled through the streets of the capital.
And then.
-…
Across the carriageway, a girl stood drenched in the rain.
I smiled faintly and walked toward her. I held the umbrella over her head and greeted her.
“Misa.”
“…”
“You’ll catch a cold.”
Michail stared at me endlessly.
I cut off Michail’s words, smiling as I spoke.
“Sword.”
“…”
“When you have time, come and learn.”
Her name was Misa.
At the same time, she was my friend.
End of Chapter