This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!



"W-w-wait! Selphie! Come here, is this the real Titania!?"

Luka yelped and summoned his fairy while I yawned atop them both. I had heard a long time ago that making a dog pile with your friends was rather fun, it sure did reflect.

It was a very fun thing to do. Making a dog pile out of them and sitting atop it.

"You're back…" Albert muttered. "I should have guessed."

"I don't blame you, one can say I look a tad different these days."

"Tad? You look like an old man—OW!"

I kicked Albert for the insult and yawned. It seemed that our third friend was rather surprised by the exchange.

"What do you mean guessed? Wait, in the first place, is it really you, Eugene?"

"Of course it is him, who else can he be?"

Luka blinked in sheer surprise as Titania laughed at his reaction.

"He was alive…? And you knew?"

"Of course I knew," Albert said again. "I mean taking the enemy away while running off? That's obviously a flag for a power up or a time skip, not a death flag."

"What flag? What do you mean?"

"Despite how I look and behave, Luka," Albert continued. "I am a seasoned gamer."

That was true.

"And a seasoned degenerate," I added.

"Mind getting off of us before saying that?"

I shrugged and got up, Luka got up on his feet right after me and pulled Albert up.

One of his hands were still missing, I thought he would grow it back out like a lizard. Ignoring the two, I walked back to the table and took a seat.

"Talk about making yourself home."

"Sniff… I still don't believe it…"

The two's fairies popped out on their own when they noticed Titania's presence. In the blink of an eye, Aine and Selphie started bowing and praising Titania while the chuunibyou evil queen talked about taking back Alfheim once and for all.

Funny folks. I kinda missed them.

Albert walked over to the couch and took a seat while Luka, still unable to digest everything, followed behind him like a lost chick.

That said, he had become rather strong.

"What was that thing you did?" I asked Luka.

"Hm? I learned an ability when I crossed the Ki Emperor realm," Luka answered, shrugging. "I mark you with my ki and then all the damage that I take transfers over to you. Works with everyone and everything."

"What a monster tank."

"And a damage dealer, please," Luka corrected me right away and I raised my hands. It was true. He was one heck of a damage dealer too.

"How are the ladies," I asked Luka. "The three of them?"

Luka looked away, blushing. It was a disgusting sight, so I smacked the back of his head.

"You're an adult man, come on."

"Well, they agreed on marrying me."

"Which one?" I asked, it seemed I wasn't the only one doing something like this. It might be the age, it might the fact that all the worlds were facing an extinction threat.

"All of them," Luka answered.

Oh.

I turned to Albert and he shrugged.

Luka, of all people, with three wives. That seemed strange. Polygamy wasn't illegal anyway, refer to the Marquis, I mean, Duke of Hall, but it was still surprising.

Well there was no fun teasing someone who was doing good, that was just bitter. One had to laugh at people below them.

I turned to Albert next.

"And how's Marissa?"

"What of her?" Albert asked, tilting his head.

I looked at Luka this time and he shrugged.

What the fuck?

"What do you mean what of her? Are you guys together?"

"No?" Albert scoffed. "Why would I be together with Marissa? Do you think she likes me or something?"

Oh god.

It seemed the three fairies were just as stunned as I was.

It made no sense, the guy who could analyze people's every breath like fucking Sherlock Holmes was saying that he wasn't aware of Marissa? I had been with her for mere months and I still knew how much Marissa liked Albert.

It had been five fucking years at that, how was this possible?

"Albert, did you perhaps, fall on your head as a child?"

"I did, that's how I possessed this body."

Luka and I sighed.

"Explains a lot."

"No way someone can be this stupid without brain injury."

"And what about you?" Luka asked this time, it seemed Albert was officially not allowed to talk about adult matters anymore.

Poor Marissa, I should probably find her a better guy.

"I met Noa and Lethe, and my sister."

"Vienna?"

"Na-Ri. Vienna is here too?"

Luka shook his head. Why did this fuck mention her if she wasn't? I wasn't sure if these guys were smart or lucky enough to not be ousted as dumb.

"No one else?" Albert asked. "The Grand Lord of Apollon and Miss Maria were here too, as well as almost everyone in the top 25, Charlotte, both Mr and Mrs Han, Bael and Yvas, Kaiser and the other two, even your knight and Miss Rio."

"I heard about the rest, I only met Keith and Glasses though."

Albert coughed.

"Alright, so you've been here at least three days."

How did he know? I didn't remember mentioning it.

"I saw Senior waiting for you."

"Oh," Luka hummed. "So that's why she was standing there."

"What mischief have you been up to, Eugene Hall?"

I grinned.

"Mischief? I am just helping you."

"Out with it."

"I may have… tipped the Outer Gods about where and when to attack us?"

Luka reeled back while Albert leaned ahead.

"How did you that?" He asked.

It was then, the door to Albert's closet opened up. My dear fairy queen was the master of assisting me with the magic when I couldn't use it anymore. The dramatic flair was immortal.

A head rolled down from the top compartment, rolling on the floor.

Everyone turned at the muffled groans of the Outer God tied in strings.

"By kidnapping one and faking messages?"

"When does it begin?" Asked Albert.

"You have… a week."