This Hero is Sleeping!



Lord Leres was guided through the woods.

With his three apostles on hand, the robed figures that had met the great soul and man amongst men who could down more than a dozen men with a single breath!

"Great being, I hope you could help us through this. If there is anything that goes against your wishes then please let us know!"

"Puuuu!"

"Hey! Tell them, Bagpipe. Don't do anything to insult our lord Lers in the first place. If you have to worry, then don't do it!"

The three apostles of Lord Leres spoke up. The robed figures, all bowed their head and apologized.

On the other hand, the poor man himself was lost as hell.

'How did it come to this!?!?!'

His mind screamed, but he had tussled with one fish too many in his life. He knew well enough how hurtful losing your composure could be in a battle of life and death.

These two robed figures who had intimidated him to no end were suddenly asking for his help. It all began when the slanderers from the town he had been in before had come around. They started sarcastically calling him great and all that shebang in their attempt to bring him down.

Or so he used to think.

There was no doubt in Leres' head that the citizens of Soleda were highly sarcastic and also hated him for causing the issue with all the injured drunks.

But.

Sarcasm had a fatal flaw.

It only worked on those who understood it.

Imagine. Just imagine saying to someone extremely dumb, 'Oh, you are such a genius you should be solving world hunger.'

And then imagine. Imagine if instead of being offended, they say. 'Thank you so much. I am not all that but I am glad you think so.'

Would it not, in such a situation, be the one that began the sarcaster that would be greatly annoyed? Would it also not be the sarcastee that would be giddy at the compliment because they interpreted it so?

Something similar had happened here.

Lord Leres may be weak against fish, but he wasn't dumb enough to believe that these idiots that called himself his apostle and walked around with a guy that could only speak through bagpipes could be anywhere capable enough to be sarcastic. It was impossible to imagine! What was the bagpipe guy's deal anyway?!

"PUUN!"

With creepy coincidence, the bagpipe rang once more. Leres was almost afraid this fucker could hear him, but it seemed his actual friends had different thoughts.

"Hey! How long are you going to make Lord Leres walk?"

Leres wanted to cry.

These intimidating fuckers were just as stupid as the damned apostles and had also bought into the narrative that Leres was not a guy who made a whole city go on a gorey drunken rampage.

"Sir, we're almost here."

Leres wanted to run away.

After climbing peak after peak for three days straight, they had entered the deepest parts of the Silvanus ranges, and now, in front of them, hidden by the veneer of the thick and sporadic trees was a place forbidden to enter for most.

"Here, please make sure you watch your path and follow as precisely as possible, or you will be lost."

Pushing away the trees and the vines in their path, the intimidating bastards guided them through the forest.

Sounds of laughter and childish, playful, merry, giggles filled the ears of the ones walking through.

"Stupid concern for our lord Leres."

"You may get lost some time, but the great Lord Leres wouldn't."

"Puun! Puuun!"

And, as fate would have it.

Not long after walking deep into the forest, far after they had neared their final destination.

Leres.

Was.

Lost.

With nothing around but the woods, the great man amongst men, the legendary legend Leres cackled.

"I am in trouble…"

***

"So, golems. What do they eat?"

"Nothing, they don't have mouths."

"Hm, five points. Next question, where do they sleep?"

"On the ground!"

"Correct again, five more points."

"What do they breathe?"

"Haha, air."

"Tiana, are you sure you're not some genius?"

"That is… actually, I am the smartest being under the heavens, Ruler Ruler."

"I should have known…"

"Known what?!" Claude snapped. He had tried his best to ignore them and was good with ignoring Elric, but the straight man in his blood couldn't let the chance for such Manzai to pass by. "What in the world are you guys even doing?"

"We're practicing what we learned about the golem."

"Shut the hell up! Is this what you have learned? Is it? Then go back and study more."

"Eh," Elric clicked his tongue. "You're just jealous, are you not?"

"Of what? Knowing that golems, can fucking, breathe air? Is that what you think I am jealous of?"

"It's important knowledge, Claudy. Ask Ruler Ruler."

"Where exactly will it help?"

"What if… one of them drowns and you need to give them CPR?"

"Golems—"

Claude took in a deep breath.

He remembered.

He remembered sunny fields and fluttering flowers.

O peaceful days of yore.

Things were better when he just ignored them. That was what he was going to do now.  With a smile on his face reminiscent of a monk that may have just reached the answer to spirituality, the realm of nirvana, he turned away. His mind as tranquil as a lake, his psyche as unshaking as a mountain, his heart, at peace.

They soon started descending again.

***

To get anywhere in the Silvanus ranges, one had to climb up and down the various mountains over and over. It was inconvenient, but the valleys and the passes made for sights well worth it.

And in the middle of one such mountain pass, behind the jaggedy lines of the next incline, an old and heavy landslide had made a certain path unnavigable.

This.

Over time, had turned into the nest of the rock golems.

Loud thuds and groans rang in the area that the golems had propagated, in the land that was devoid of all signs of life all over, the golems maintained their peace. As monsters made from mana itself, they were beings that did not hold much intelligence, but their strength in bodies without any thought was a weapon but as deadly.

"How should we go about it?" Asked Erika.

"I think each of these things is about two gardars each." Claude assessed, and Elric nodded.

It wasn't something they couldn't take on, not with this group. But the problem was their numbers.

"Hm, I see at least 38 of them," said Tiana. Being a ranger, she was keener toward matters like these that required a ranger's high observational skills.

"Taking all of them on would be 76 Gardars," Elric continued. "It's not very economical for us to do that, since they have a strong herd mentality…"

Avoiding them would be tough.

This was the reason that only one core was expected from someone in the B-Rank.

"So we separate them, of course."

That was where the problem lay.

Elric turned his back on the boulder and looked up at the mountain. The terrain was rocky and filled with soil as compared to the other mountain sights, a sign of the rock slide clear in front of him.

Taking them all on was going to be convenient.

He had to hunt like Claude and he did in the forest.

"Claude, think you can mist these guys?"

"Too big to move them, but I can probably obstruct their vision."

"Hmmm…" Elric, the very image of a smart man, started thinking about the different types of fish he could name.

"Ah."

No no, he had a job to do here. Important matters were important.

"Hm…"

Anchovy, Sardine, Cod, Betta, Lobster, Trout, Catfish, Goldfish…

Anchovy?

Like an Anchor?

Rockslides and anchors. Damn, it would hurt if someone was anchored to the ground in a rockslide. Why did rocks slide in the first place? Weren't slides mostly for toddlers?

He did slide a lot as a child. Unfortunately, his parents didn't let him stay in the park for long.

"Hm, we should probably slide giant rocks on them, after anchoring them to the ground."

The other three looked at Elric.

"Teleport… is tough. Claude can obstruct vision with his mist, Tiana can probably root the golems to the ground with her magic, and both Erika and I can make those big rocks fall down…"

Elric laid out a framework for their plan in a single go, crossing his arms.

"The problem is how we can single them out."

"Oh… That's real rich. I didn't expect you to be able to think, Ruler Ruler."

"The sense of incongruence is real high, right?"

While the other two whispered, Claude covered his face and grinned.

"Small thinker as always, aren't you Elric?"

Elric puffed his cheeks. "What do you mean?"

"If you're going to slide it down on them anyway, why would we do it to just one?" Claude smiled as he looked at the golems. "We best take them all down. All at once."