This Hero is Sleeping!



Marcus, Tomas, and Bagpipe, the three apostles of the one and only god in human form had found themselves deep into the city of the elves.

The land where flowers and sung and novelty bloomed, where people and nature became one, with their long ears and their beauty despite the longevity, Elves were without a doubt one of the races most distinct from humans.

"Be careful," said the robed duo. "Spite and elf, and God Silvanus himself will trap you in his coffin."

"He'll suck out nutrients from you and feed them to a fucking mushroom."

From up above their houses erected in the trees to the vast lands below of yet more woods and blooms, in their simple dresses of green and blue and their crowns of flowers new.

The elves, fortunately, did not commonly speak human language. It wasn't tough to pick it up, but their isolation made most unable to.

Watering their plants and hugging their trees, many looked at the group of humans coming in with intrigue and curiosity filling their eyes.

Then, one elf came from the other side straight toward them. In the midst of the paths made of roots and stones, the elf with long hair and longer ears walked with unquestionable grace. With his hands behind his back, he leaned ahead with a bright smile.

"If it isn't, the two humans that took up our request."

The robed duo shivered.

"Ho, how nice it is to see you here again. Please, follow me, I'll take you to the chief."

The robed figures almost wanted to walk away, but the elf placed his arm around the two's shoulders and dragged them along.

"And the other friends? You all too, please."

"Of course!" Said Marcus.

"It is only natural we help those in need." Followed Tomas.

"Puuun puuuuun."

The elf was slightly confused, but he let it pass.

A few more of the regal elves came around them and started dragging all three away. They all cackled like madmen as they moved through the streets of the elf village. The eyes that were coming their way had become much more amicable and so had the people that were dragging them along.

Marcus and Tomas found this treatment quite nice.

But the smartest one in the group had slightly different reservations about his current situation. Or, as he would say, his current puuun puuuun.

The group was escorted through the forest paths and up many trees and bridges of dead wood. From one treehouse to another, a network of roads was created above ground like a spider web in the skies, making for a sight none of them had ever seen before.

Not long after, they reached their destination.

The grandest house on top of the trees in the back of the village, this was the place where the chief of the village lived.

Statuettes of Silvanus were placed on both sides of the door, their form that of an elf.

Rumors of the god actually being an elf had long existed, but this was the first time the idiot trio had seen any of it. It remained a feast for their eyes nonetheless as many leaves and branches gently leaned down from the skies and grazed over the statues and house's woods.

The group stepped inside the house at the push of the elf. They walked past the room inside. The dark place was barely lit up by the already scant light that flowed inside. Even spirits with all their glow were avoiding the place like the plague, making it seem yet another notch darker than it was.

Crreeps rand down the spines of everyone that had stepped inside. The people that had dragged them along were now gone and inside came only the first elf with the robed figures in his hands.

They passed through yet another door with long drapes hiding it. As they entered the place, their eyes fell on the table ahead.

A small lamp was lit.

The silhouette of a particularly old elf dabbled on the ceiling, the shadows showing nothing but his ears and the outline of his face. He held a spike in his hands, and stabbed through them were long, cubical bits of flesh.

Were elves not lovers of nature?

Were they not staunch against eating meat?

But Marcus Tomas and Bagpipe were more certain than they had ever been in their lives. This sent was nothing other than the scent of meat that they were long since familiar with.

A chomp rang out.

"Mmm,"

They heard a nasal grunt. And then a slurp.

And then once more.

The meat was bit into.

With every bite the old elf sitting away from them took, the flames of the lamp fluttered and his shadow changed shapes.

Only when the old man had finished eating his skewer did the elf with them speak.

"Ahem. Grandfather, the humans from that time are here."

The old elf stopped.

And with him stopped the flickering of the flames.

Slowly, he turned back and looked at the people behind.

"Ah, you are here again, kind humans."

Some traces of blood lingered on his lips.

"Eep!"

Tomas shrieked. And all of them looked at him.

The old elf looked at Tomas with slight surprise before his eyes curved into low crescents and a smile spread over his face.

"Hohoho…" He giggled. "It seems, some sauce, was left on my lips."

His knowledge of the human language was on point down to the accents. He slowly reached into his pockets and pulled out a small cloth, the sight reminding them of the garbs all the elves outside donned.

With it, he wiped his lips and threw it away, his smile never leaving his visage for even the smallest fraction of a second.

"Then, I believe you have some good news for me?"

The robed duo trembled and pointed back at the idiot trio.

"These three! They are the apostles of the most powerful person in all of Maris!"

"Yes! Yes! These two and that man can help you better than we can."

"Oh!" The old elf scoffed. "Is that so? You believe that they can serve your job better?"

"Serve?" Marcus muttered.

Though his words were nigh a whisper they didn't escape the long ears of the elf. No really, at the distance he was, would he just turn around then his ears would be poking Marcus' face like stalactites in a rock cave,

"Serve, I say, but we can truly use all help that we can get."

The old elf faced them once more.

"I am thankful, that kind humans such as yourself and your master still exist. Oh! What a pity it would have been if not for such powerful people like you."

Almost as if they had practiced it beforehand, the three of them all blushed, lowered their gaze, and scrwatched the back of their head.

"Haha! We aren't that cool."

"Of course though, no one better than us."

"Puuun!"

The robed duo was left stunned.

They doubted if these people had their knees in a bind, since that was clearly wherre their brains were.

"Then, dear powerful humans."

"You can call us the three apostles."

"APOSTLES?!" The old elf suddenly screamed. "Are you chosen by the gods?"

"No…"

"Sorry…"

The old elf sighed and shook his head.

"Not at all, I apologize for my hastiness."

"Then, how can we help you?"

"It is a big problem. A young child from our village has somehow gotten lost."

"Lost?"

The old elf picked out another rag just like the previous one and dapped it on the corners of his eyes.

"I get teary just thinking of how scared she must be. What if she is taken up by humans? It would be the very worst."

"O-oh…"

"Puuuun."

"Thank you for consolation, uh…?" The old elf was stunned at Bagpipe. "What's your deal?"

"Puuun."

"Fair enough."

The two nodded, and the old elf got back to dabbing his eyes.

"I apologize. I hope you can help us find that sweeet child. She didn't even have any parents, oh, everyone in the village is so grey without her."

"Do not worry, old man," Marcus spoke. "We'll help you get her."

"Thank you… thank you…"

"What is her name?"

The light of the lamp flickered once more.

The shadow of the old elf grew wider, until the entire wall behind was covered by him.

"Tiana," he said.

***

"Ah… damn it damn it damn it…"

Lord Leres the Legendary legend from the Legendary Legend of the Legendary Lord Leres, Abbreviatred to Lord Leres the LLftLLotLLL, pronounced, not individually spoken, was still stuck in the hole underground.

If only he hadn't slipped.

"If only not for those damned spirits! I would have never been trapped. Damn you FISH!"

At his vexations, the spirits around him moved and Leres flew. He looked around in confusion as he floated through the hole and came outside, back into the hut.

"Huh?"

Lord Leres the LLftLLotLLL was free once more!