To Live Again, For the First Time!

Emilin POV:

After convincing mom and dad to let me go, we stayed a while longer to iron my plans out. I already had a lot of thoughts about places I wanted to go and sights I wanted to see but it was getting late. ​​

Dad took mom upstairs to go rest and big brother Nathen had already hung up on the call because he was also busy.

Theo was the only one who stayed. He looked at me like he wanted to ask me something but wasn't sure if he should.

I wanted to talk to him about something too, so it was quite convenient.

"Don't look down on the universities too much. I know your skills and you know them too, but to be safe in a battle, knowing your own skills is not enough. You'll have to make sure you know your enemies better than they know themselves. Make sure your information network stays strong."

"Be careful. It's good to do as you like, but don't make too many enemies. Don't take things sitting down either, that might just bring you even more troubles later. As for the mentors. I'm sure someone will come find you at some point. When that time comes, just do whatever you like."

"Stay safe okay?"

I wanted to reassure brother Theo and at the same time tell him that he could do as he liked, and it would still be okay. There was no need to get into too much trouble, but he shouldn't bend to others.

Theo's expression changed while he was listening to what I had to say. For those few moments he would put down what he was thinking about before and concentrate on the advice I had to give.

Then, after acknowledging what I had told him, he went back to the thoughts he was thinking of previously.

"It's not just wanting to go sightseeing right? I'm sure sightseeing and taking a break has something to do with the reason you want to go traveling, but there's something else you're not telling mom and dad, am I right?"

I didn't expect this to be his question, but I also expected him to ask at some point. Two years was a relatively long time.

Since when were big brother Theo's senses so sharp? I wondered. It seems that even without knowledge of the inner workings of people's minds, big brother still had the advantage of a keen sense. He also realized something was off.

Maybe it was just because he knows me too well.

"Yes, you're right, there's something else." I wondered for a bit if I should tell Theo, but in the end all I did is look him in the eye until he gave in.

First, I didn't want him to worry too much, but I understood the concept of the worry stemmed from not knowing. The thing is, I would have a lot of things that I couldn't possibly explain. And many other things that I didn't even know.

Theo and I had a small stare down before he nodded in understanding. I knew he would know what I meant, but that didn't mean what I did was any less hurtful.

Not being able to be 100% honest with my family about a lot of things was painful.

"I'm sorry, but I promise you, it's nothing dangerous. I just want some time to find some peace of mind." I told him just about as much as I knew myself.

I didn't want anyone to know that there was a possibility I had PTSD just yet, I hoped I would be able to solve the underlying issue before it became any bigger.

Of course, normally it would be best to talk about these issues concerning your mental health with your loved ones and people you trust, but this wasn't a normal case.

People shouldn't be scared to voice out their problems, be it physical or psychological, and seek help.

In this case, I had no clue what psychological issue I was plagued with, and because I couldn't explain my situation to anyone, I could only look for help indirectly.

This was one of my purposes for my travels, learning from different cultures including nature itself of the concept of acceptance.

Part one involved self-acceptance and part two consisted of accepting others. I wasn't sure which one I was having trouble with, maybe it was both and I just didn't know it yet.

Well… and while I'm there, it should be only right that I try all the food the world has to offer.

Honestly, it sounded like a nice plan.

The following weeks went by in a flash. I went to school as usual and tried to make some friends too. Well I tried to talk more with some of my classmates… more like I tried to get a word in.

The end result was the same either way. Nothing new. No need to mention it.

I also made sure to send Xander 3 reports. He knew what to do with them. Those would last me till I came back.

I would still have to deal with some miscellaneous things here and there, but I'm sure that Theo could take care of everything else. This was also a good opportunity for him to become more independent.

I had also decided my first destination. My visas were also applied for. I applied for countries that I was sure I wanted to go to and others that I was considering. The money wasn't an issue. I wanted to spend my own savings, which were in no way small, it was also nice to give dad a chance to pay.

Though I was probably going to use my own money for the things I was going to buy throughout the trip. I'm sure he wouldn't question where exactly the money came from. The prizes from the competitions brother Theo and I won were all kept by us. Even those cash prizes were already a sizable amount.

Meanwhile, big brother Theo had made an announcement.

He decided that he was going to go to BeiChen University, the university ranked 3ed on the world rankings and located in a neighbouring country in the Hé Continent.

It was quite a nice choice, the weather was a little hot as it was closer to the equator, but it was still within an acceptable range. It wasn't even close to some of the hottest countries in the world, it was just that the Polo Country in which we resided now was much cooler.

Polo Country had very nice weather, it was never too hot, but it didn't snow in the winter either. As for the Basilian Country where brother Theo was headed, it was like summer for the duration of spring, summer and fall, while it also somehow managed to snow during the winter.

The weather just had a whim of its own. It was especially bad during the months of April and May, where it was both hot and humid due to the rain.

Brother sent in his application and we didn't really need to worry if he was going to be accepted or not. Even if his national titles didn't get him in, there were countermeasures.

It would be best to keep as many of our side jobs undercover as possible, but showing some pawns wasn't going to affect the overall game.

In the end there was no need. Brother Theo got in without the need for an extra boost to his application. We celebrated that day, but it was also not very unexpected.

Mom and dad insisted that we had a party with our classmates, but in the end, we couldn't go through with it because both Theo and I had already booked our plane tickets for the following week and we wouldn't be able to organise something in such short notice.

It was 5 days before the date of our departure and also the day I realized that I had an opportunity to do.

Something that I had fallen in love with since I was reborn.

Something I had to do before leaving.

Something essential, that had to be done before my trip.

Impulse shopping!