To Live Again, For the First Time!

Then, the realization came.

This was also the first time she was alone in this world. ​​

Of course, she could always message her family or call them, but she was still in a foreign country with no familiar relations or close acquaintances.

The best way to solve this would of course be to go back to Polo Country, but Emilin also realized that this was something that she had to overcome at some point in her life.

Or else, she would never be able to find peace with herself.

The self that was hidden in the corner of her mind, crying for help.

The one that she didn't know existed until it was already too late.

Many times, people would act okay. So much so that they themselves think they are okay.

Yet that is also the reason why mental breakdowns come at the most unexpected times.

This was exactly the case for Emilin.

Emilin, who was once sitting on her bed, somehow moved to the edge, and then the ground.

She sat on the cold floor and dragged some of her sheets with her. But she herself didn't notice anything. She moved closer and closer to the ceiling to floor window and closer to the rain that was pouring from the outside.

Her eyes followed the scenery.

Her dim pupils stared out in a daze and tears started to flow down her cheek, but Emilin didn't bother to wipe it.

In the end, it dropped on to her chest without her knowledge. She would most likely never find out that she had shed a tear that day.

The rain flooded her mind with chaotic thoughts, but her face remained as solemn as ever. Her mind was clouded with thoughts that she knew were no good for her.

But her thoughts raced, and she could do nothing about it.

An unknown amount of time passed. It could have been hours or minutes, but the sky finally cleared.

The grey clouds were replaced by a bright blue sky and the rain that had been falling as if there was no tomorrow, created beautifully clear puddles on the floor below.

Everything was so sudden.

The storm that had come out of seemingly nowhere, left with no warning.

Emilin's eyes reflected those changes and as she looked up, she saw the most stunning double rainbow.

Her eyes widened with realization.

The rain that had been in her mind for hours was now nowhere to be found.

After seeing such a view, she could no longer recall how the dark clouds looked anymore. It was the same sky, yet the two scenes looked so distinctly different.

In the end, there will be more clear days than rainy ones. And rainy days are the reason why we are thankful for sunny ones.

Her second chance at life was also her second chance at seeing everything beautiful. Even if her past was there, it would only make her present more stunningly precious.

Emilin's hazel eyes cleared up and she rushed to look for her phone to take a picture of this double rainbow, yet it seemed like her phone's lighting disagreed.

From her phone's camera, nothing could be captured. The rainbows were also starting to fade which disappointed Emilin greatly.

She stared into the sky with longing, watching as the phenomena faded away.

She looked back at the phone that she held tightly in her hands and sighed. Going back to her family group chat, she felt the need to send a message to her family, who have supported her so far.

Me: [I love you, all of you. So much, I can't imagine what I would have done without your support.]

There was no need to say thank you to family. But Emilin still thought that she couldn't go without conveying her appreciation.

She feared that maybe without her family, she might have started to get such nightmares when she first reached this world, and if that were the case, she was sure she wouldn't have survived that long.

Back then, she had just lived a life with nothing. If she were to suddenly be hit with such a mental blow, she might have believed that there was only so much to live.

She wouldn't have been able to meet her most precious people.

Her Big Brother Theo, who was always working hard to improve himself to be able to protect his family.

Her Big Brother Nathen, who loved her to no ends.

Her mother, who was the heater for her heart, her warmth still lingering to this day, to tell her everything would be okay.

And her father, who always put their family first and foremost, above everything else in the whole wide world.

Maybe she would have thought that her previous life was in fact better. The one with no emotions.

Maybe she would have believed that she simply didn't deserve to feel joy.

Maybe, she would have decided to end it once in for all.

But there was no point in thinking about all the possibilities.

All she had to do was to be thankful and to live her life to the utmost.

Even if there were lingering fears, she would fight them.

If her past was going to haunt her, then so be it.

Emilin was sure that as long as she lived long enough, she would be able to capture every single moment and person worth living for.

Emilin's changes from when she first came to this world were apparent.

Even if she didn't deserve to feel happiness, she would take it by force. Letting herself do everything as she liked.

Perhaps that was a good thing, or maybe not.

It didn't matter, because she still had her family, who cared for her to no ends.

The ones who would be sad if she were sad.

The ones who would morn her if she died.

The same ones who would be happy when she smiled.

Nothing could be done about the past. The only two choices were to accept it or to let it haunt you forever.

Even if it would take a very long time, Emilin had already chosen to accept it, because she didn't want to trouble herself nor the family who loved and worried for her.

Emilin's phone vibrated in her hands.

Mom <3: [We love you too! <3<3<3]

Dad <3: [ You can talk to us when you're ready. We'll wait for you. If you get tired in your travels, just come back. Mom and Dad miss you already. <3]

Big Brother Theo: [You okay Baby Sis? Gosh, you're getting so emotional, I guess the traveling really works. You might be able to make some friends when you come back.]

Big Brother Nathen: [Don't listen to him. We also couldn't possibly imagine how we would be without you. You support us as much as we support you and that's exactly how it should be. Don't be burdened by us. We love you too.]

It was already really late in their time zones, but all of them responded instantly when they saw that there was a message.

They could all tell that the mood of Emilin's text was a little off, but they also knew to not ask.

Emilin was clear that she wasn't ready right now, all they needed to do was support her by the sides. To let her know that they would be there for when she was ready.

***

You might now know it, but there are people who also care for you more than they care for themselves.

Sometimes, you just have to find them.