Unintended Immortality

If you were to ask what the people of Southern Art County had been most excitedly talking about during their tea breaks recently, it would undoubtedly be about Lord Li.

It was said that not long ago, a divine immortal passed through Southern Art County. Seeing how Scoundrel Li was bullying the people and committing numerous evil deeds, the divine immortal decided to intervene and enlighten him.

Now, Scoundrel Li has truly turned over a new leaf—painfully so, in fact. It was said that whenever Scoundrel Li even thought of doing something wrong, he suffered excruciating heartache, with pain so intense it made life unbearable. Every day, if he didn't do good deeds, he still felt pain. Though, it was not as severe—just enough to keep him barely alive.

Could you believe it? People now dared to call him Scoundrel Li to his face!

Whether you called it enlightenment or punishment might be up for debate. But whether it was enlightenment or punishment, in the end, it dealt with a major bully.

Scoundrel Li was originally known throughout Southern Art County as a notorious bully and rogue, with countless victims of his abuse and harassment. In Pingzhou, where there’s a strong belief in immortals and gods, people love discussing such topics. Now that a wandering divine immortal has dealt with a local bully right in their midst, what could be a more intriguing topic?

For a time, everyone—from the county officials to the common folk, even those in remote mountain villages outside the city—was talking about this incident. When it came to Scoundrel Li, everyone paid close attention.

The person who paid the most attention to this was the innkeeper of Jingfu Inn. Why? Because that divine immortal had stayed at his inn, and it was in one of his upstairs rooms where Scoundrel Li had been enlightened.

The innkeeper didn’t dare spread the news too quickly, fearing that while he might have made some money, Scoundrel Li might come back to take his anger out on him once he regained his senses and no longer felt pain nor had anyone to take his anger out on.

It was said that within just a few days, Scoundrel Li had repaid all the money he owed to merchants and commoners both inside and outside the city, personally apologizing to each and every one of them.

He even went to the nunnery outside the city—not to seek pleasure this time, but laden with money and gifts to apologize. It was said that he knelt at the nunnery gate for a long time, making many promises and guarantees on the spot. Judging by his demeanor, the nuns probably wouldn't have to worry about money or offer such services anymore.

Later, Scoundrel Li continued repaying more and more debts. Even the small vendors he had once taken pears and peaches from without paying were now receiving apologies and compensation when he encountered them on the street.

It was as if he had truly turned into a good person. But who knew how long Scoundrel Li could keep this up? It was likely he was just afraid of the pain.

As time went on, the spell showed no signs of weakening. On the contrary, Scoundrel Li started performing good deeds daily, and he himself began to change little by little.

The most noticeable change was that he no longer seemed to suffer daily torment. Perhaps he still felt pain, but it had clearly lessened.

Yet this didn’t make him complacent. Instead, it made him more eager to do good deeds, more eager to make up for the wrongs he had committed in the first half of his life.

He frequently went to the nunnery outside the city to deliver money, gifts, and warm wishes; even purchasing some farmland at the foot of the mountain to donate to the nuns, claiming it was to make amends. For the others he had bullied, he also tried his best to make amends. �

But if you looked closely…

At first, Scoundrel Li’s actions seemed clearly driven by the pain he was enduring, filled with reluctance. But who could have guessed that over time, he would start smiling and greeting people, apologizing and repaying his debts? Eventually, he became increasingly adept at these tasks.

From March to April, then to May and June, Scoundrel Li’s transformation was stark over the course of several months. If someone from outside Southern Art County came to visit, they would never believe his past behavior.

Had Scoundrel Li gradually gotten used to this? This was truly miraculous.

The innkeeper, whenever he thought about it, widened his eyes in amazement. Initially, he thought the divine immortal was somewhat skilled. Later, he believed he was a rare Dao master. Now, reflecting on it, he thought that the man might truly be a genuine divine immortal!

If he was a real divine immortal, then his name, the room where he stayed and enlightened others, and his praise for the soup noodles should be publicized.

Perhaps a name should be given to it...

***

As for traveling to Yunding Mountain, Song You and Lady Calico had both a planned route and the freedom to explore.

The closest to Southern Art County was Mount Andu.

The scenery of Mount Andu was truly beautiful, neither too hot nor too cold, making the hike just right. A waterfall cascaded directly from halfway up the mountain to the base, falling three thousand chi, resembling the Milky Way descending from the heavens.

After leaving Mount Andu, they went to Monkey Valley.

It was early summer then, and the mountain air was cool. The mountains were filled with freshly ripened peaches. Asking a few peaches from the mischievous monkeys added a taste of summer to their memories.

The waters of Twelve Moon Lakes were unparalleled. They were clear no matter how deep the lakes were, revealing the submerged wood below that had been there for countless years. Countless fish swam in the water as if floating aimlessly. Each of the twelve lakes had its unique beauty, with colors ranging from green to blue and varying depths.

It was said that in late autumn, the entire mountain was covered in red leaves Centuries from now, this place would undoubtedly be a renowned scenic spot. By then, washing his feet in the lake would likely be forbidden. So, Daoist Master Song had to wash his feet in the lake several centuries or millennia in advance.

There was also a mountain called Yuan Buguo.

It is said that several generations of prime ministers have visited here, and countless renowned poets and scholars have come seeking inspiration, finding the place both perilous and exhilarating.

Yuan Buguo featured a famous ancient path, originally built by the military generals stationed on the mountain a thousand years ago. The path, no more than a chi wide on the steep vertical cliff, allowed barely enough room to place a foot.

Along the edge of the cliff, a row of spikes and a chain were set up as the only safety measures, leaving one to hold on tightly. A moment of carelessness could send someone plunging into the abyss below.

This place was even more perilous than climbing on all fours, though the scenery was not as impressive.

They also visited the infamous Mawang Village, known for its bandits...

Whenever they encountered a town on their way, as long as it was not too far, Song You and Lady Calico would stop by to explore the local customs. They would taste some specialty dishes, rest, and replenish their supplies.

The six commanderies and forty-eight counties of Pingzhou were indeed a place of gods and immortals intermingled with chaos and corruption. Unauthorized and nefarious temples dedicated to heretical worship were everywhere, and countless legends of immortals and gods abound.

By the time they reached Pear Blossom Valley, summer was merging into autumn. Naturally, there were no pear blossoms to admire, but the Pingzhou gong pears were just coming into season.

Lady Calico did not eat pears, but Song You was eager to try them.

The quality of gong pears was exceptional—large, juicy, and incredibly refreshing. However, the pear trees in the entire mountain only flourished in spring. By autumn, many of the fruits were unsold.

If they could be transported out of the mountain, they would fetch a high price. But if they couldn't be transported out of the mountain, they were often sold for a mere pittance on the mountain, sometimes even given away if one merely asked as people were happy to make things easier for a Daoist.

Pear syrup was also available, which Lady Calico could eat.

By late June, they had arrived in Changsheng County. A hundred li outside the county was Mirror Island Lake, and beside Mirror Island Lake was the legendary Yunding Mountain.

Yunding Mountain was undoubtedly the most famous of all the celestial mountains and scenic spots in Pingzhou. Countless seekers of the Immortal Dao and eternal life had come here in search of the divine, and even the county was named Changsheng, which meant eternal life.

In this small county town, there were probably over a hundred inns, and travelers on the streets seemed to outnumber the locals. One could easily imagine that among them might be a great poet or talented individual who would leave behind a timeless masterpiece.

The stories in the teahouses by the roadside were all about the legends of gods and spirits from the six commanderies and forty-eight counties of Pingzhou, filled with tales of monsters and demons.

When Song You and Lady Calico arrived, they also found an inn in the town to rest and clean up from their travels. They still stayed in a simple room.

Sitting by the table, Song You poured himself a bowl of water and said to Lady Calico, “Lady Calico, do you know that the Beginning of Autumn is just a few days away?”

“I don’t know,” Lady Calico replied subconsciously as she jumped onto the table, instinctively moving closer to sniff it. Only after responding did she realize what she said, and she immediately turned to look at Song You with wide eyes. “Beginning of Autumn?”

“Yes.”

“Beginning of Autumn!”

“What do you want to do?”

“Have a good meal!”

“Sounds good.”

Song You smiled at the cat. “But the Beginning of Autumn is still a few days away. By then, we’ll surely be gone from here, either by Mirror Island Lake or Yunding Mountain. There won’t be much good food there.”

“...!” Lady Calico stared at him intently.

Song You picked up his water bowl and said quietly, “So my suggestion is that we have it before we leave.”

“Have it before we leave!”

“After all, it’s our own chosen time. A few days’ difference doesn’t matter.”

“A few days’ difference doesn’t matter!”

“What do you think?”

“I think you’re right.”

“What would you like to eat, Lady Calico?”

“I want to eat beef, fish, small birds, and roast chickens!”

“Small birds and roast chickens are rarely sold in town, but beef and fish can be bought. Well, beef should be available; I’ll go out and check.”

“I can catch the small birds and roast chickens myself.”

“Alright.” Song You then went out. Lady Calico jumped off the table, her steps light, and followed him closely.

To find out if beef could be bought in the county, asking the innkeeper was the best option. However, here it was evident that beef was not as common as pork or lamb, like in Lingbo. The innkeeper seemed troubled at the mention and then looked Song You up and down, glancing at Lady Calico beside him.

“Beef, huh? I’m not sure if there’s any for sale in the market today. The last time it was sold was several days ago, and it wasn’t much. You know beef is a rare item, and nobles love it. When a cow is slaughtered, they take a share first, and the rest is often snatched up quickly in the market. All I can say is I’ll help you look around more, but as for the price...”

“How much per jin?”

“Last time it was one hundred wen.”

“That’s as much as lamb.”

The innkeeper said to Song You, “Well, there’s nothing we can do about that! You know, our place is a bit special. Up on Yunding Mountain, there are indeed real immortals and gods. It’s just that ordinary people can’t find them.

“Sir, ahem, you’re a Daoist, so you know that these immortals and gods don’t like people eating beef. That’s why we have very little beef here. The officials rarely approve of cattle being slaughtered; it’s mostly from cattle that have died naturally or been sick. I’m sure you understand…“

The innkeeper spoke cautiously, afraid that the comment about “not eating beef” might touch a nerve with this Daoist priest who wanted to buy beef.

However, Song You just smiled.

The Heavenly Palace was indeed a Daoist palace, and Daoist priests indeed didn’t eat beef. However, that was a personal restriction; it didn’t mean they would object to others eating it.

“Please keep an eye out for me. If you get any, I’ll buy it and eat it here at the inn.”

“Sure thing!”

“By the way, are there really gods and immortals on Yunding Mountain?”

“You’ve asked the right question!” The innkeeper perked up, draping a cloth over his shoulder. “If there were no gods and immortals on Yunding Mountain, would so many people come here seeking them over the past few centuries?”

“Do tell me more.”

“Since things are quiet now, please sit down, and I’ll tell you all about it.” The innkeeper paused, then added, “But, it’s a bit dull just sitting. Our inn’s wine and tea are quite good. Would you like to try some?”

He knew how to do business.

Since it was indeed rude to just listen without buying something, Song You ordered a pot of what was said to be high-quality local tea, as well as some celestial tea that was supposedly from the celestial Yunding Mountain. However, it was sold at such a high price that Song You wasn’t sure if it really came from the celestial mountain or if there was any difference, so he decided to save a bit of money.