Vaudevillain

Chapter 202: Ah, Hubris

Riptide was the first to see Dr. Zlo's trap, the surfer catching a glimpse as he jumped his car over Sweet Dream's jawbreaker flails.

"Oh man, Dr. Zlo never plays fair!" the surfer joked.

Sweet Dream turned on hearing the comment, spying the white adhesive covering the road. "Ugh, I am so tired of this," the woman complained. "B.B., make us a path."

Sweet Dream's Easter bunny saluted and hopped onto the Candy Crusher's roof. The minion pulled out a line of egg grenades and tossed them ahead with unerring accuracy. The colorful explosives clattered across the ground before sticking into the adhesive. A moment later, the bombs exploded, spreading a blanket of melted sugar over the trap. The sugar quickly hardened, forming a confectionary path over Dr. Zlo's sticky attempt.

Sweet Dream angled her car to drive straight over, trailing her jawbreakers behind. With a burst of speed, the Candy Crusher crossed Dr. Zlo's trap. As she passed, the Licor-Icks slammed the jawbreakers down, cracking the sugar coating and once again exposing the trap.

"Smell ya later!" the woman cackled.

"That won't stop me, dude!" Riptide retorted. With a quick use of his power, the villain leaped over the reformed trap, surfing the air to avoid getting stuck. He landed next to Sweet Dream, G.W. launching a couple of whirlwinds to keep Sweet Dream from attacking as they landed. The jawbreakers twirled in the air as the Licor-Icks attempted to break through the small tornados.

Behind them raced the skateboarder and clown car, both preparing in different ways. The skateboarder crouched down, preparing to leap over the trap. In turn, the clown car opened its doors and spilled clown after clown onto the roof. Once they approached, the skateboarder kicked off the ground, shrinking in the process to pick up speed. The clowns on top of the clown car dove forward onto the street, covering the trap with their bodies. The clown car bumped over the group, losing a bit of speed but safely crossing the trap. Dr. Zlo was now in the pack's sights.

"I told you we should have kept driving, boss," Cass said nervously. The butler turned to look at the approaching competitors, biting his nails in the process.

"Don't talk to me about my hubris, Cass!" Dr. Zlo growled. "The plan should have worked!"

"I'm not trying to correct you, boss!" Cass cried. "I'm just concerned about the car. It can't take too much concentrated fire, or the shields will fall."

"You think I don't know that?" Dr. Zlo roared. "Prepare the last few Jacques for the catapult!"

Cass obediently obeyed, switching controls to operate the contraption in the Zlomobile's trunk. Riptide, Sweet Dream, and the rest were still a fair distance away, but Dr. Zlo wasn't going to let them sneak upon them. The villain would use every trick in the book to come out on top. After all, that's what the best villains did.

The Zlomobile came out of the turn, barreling down the straightaway out of the skyscraper and back toward the PVP arena. Riptide surfed out behind him, catching up slightly with his power. Sweet Dream caught up as well since Jawbreaker let her take sharper turns at higher speeds. The others appeared after, Oro even showing up at the back of the pack. A testament to the hero's driving, Dr. Zlo guessed.

For the moment, Dr. Zlo still held the lead. Then suddenly, the Zlomobile lurched! Jerking to the right as something crashed right into it. Growling, Dr. Zlo turned to see a shabby car, cobbled together with various pipes, ramming up against his precious Zlomobile.

"What is this!" The villain cried, outraged.

"It's that mob again, boss!" Cass shouted.

"I can see that!" Dr. Zlo shot back. "I hired them to take out the competition, not me!"

"Oh, they don't listen to you anymore."

Quartet's voice crackled over the shared communicator.

"Quartet, what is the meaning of this!" Dr. Zlo shouted.

"I'm moving up in the world!" Quartet replied. "I got my own crew now, one that listens to my bright ideas. And we all decided we don't need you around anymore!"

Another car slammed into the Zlomobile's right, sandwiching the car between it and its companion.

"Don't think I'll let you off easy after this betrayal, Quartet!" Dr. Zlo shouted.

Inwardly, Dylan was giddy. Who would have thought Quartet had it in him to rebel this early! Dylan figured the minion would take at least two to three more escapades before attempting something.

"That's only if you're around to do something about it," Quartet taunted. "And I don't think that's likely at the moment."

"Don't you dare underestimate the greatest criminal mastermind who ever lived!" Dr. Zlo rebutted.

With a quick touch on the brakes and a twist of the wheel, Dr. Zlo slipped the car out of the squeeze, freeing himself for a moment as the rest of the racers caught up. At the same time, Bart and his friends appeared, Quartet standing on the back of their modified vehicle like a king.

"How dare he do that to you, boss!" Cass cried indignantly.

"Quite right!" Dr. Zlo answered, gripping the steering wheel harder. "I think it's time we showed Quartet a thing or two."

Dr. Zlo slowed a touch more, slipping between Riptide and Sweet Dream and forcing them into the fight with Quartet. Again there was chaos on the track. Apocalyptic cars spouting flames rushed toward the racers in an attempt to ram, destroy, or upend the competing racers. Dr. Zlo retaliated with lasers at anyone who appeared in front, weaving between any amateur drivers attempting to crash into him.

Sweet Dream took a more direct approach, commanding the Licor-Icks to swing around her jawbreaker flails while B.B. tossed out egg grenade after egg grenade. Jawbreaker (the minion) made sure not to sit idle, grabbing piles of his namesake and firing them off like bullets at any exposed racer.

Riptide slipped between attacks with his power, surfing over crashed cars while G.W. cast whirlwinds at incoming bullets. Behind him followed the skateboarder, the player performing similar tricks to avoid combat. The clown car was by far the most surprising, opening its doors as racers came close and spilling out attacking clowns. The sounds of honking filled the air as the conjured performers assaulted their enemies.

"Cass, are you ready with the Jacques-a-pult?" Dr. Zlo asked, glancing for a second at his minion.

Cass nodded, "Ready, boss. Just give me a target."

"Hit the cars closest to Quartet first. We're going to take out his support before we finish him."

"Understood!" Cass aimed Dr. Zlo's weapon at two cars driving near Quartet and unleashed the Jacques. Six shots in quick succession fired, sending three stored minions at each of the vehicles. The Jacques formed midair, angling their bodies at the cars while performing poses.

The first Jacques landed knees first on the truckbed of the car on the left, pretending to shred a guitar as it slid across the floor. The second Jacques arrived moments after in a Superman pose. It collided with a standing racer and knocked her off the truck. The third attempted to land like a gymnast but fell flat on its face when the first Jacques tripped it. The third almost protested but stopped at the sound of a cocking gun. The three minions turned. Infighting could come later. Right now, they had a car to capture.

The fourth, fifth, and sixth Jacques all landed with the same pose on the right-side car, the perfect superhero landing. A racer turned to meet them, hefting a sawed-off shotgun too big for his build. The fourth Jacques pushed the fifth and sixth out of the way, diving to the ground at the same time. Momentarily confused, the racer spent seconds trying to decide who to shoot. Seconds he didn't have.

The fifth and sixth Jacques dove for the racer at the same time, their arms stiff. Two plastic arms collided with the racer's head, sending him reeling backward from the blow. The fourth took the chance to dive forward, shoving the man off the car and taking the large shotgun. The three Jacques turned to their companions in the other car, looking every bit the smuggest minions in existence.

The three in the first car hadn't the leisure to look over at their companions. Their gun-wielding psychopath was more adept at fighting, and the first three Jacques weren't in sync like the second three. The sound of pinging bullets shook the apocalyptic truck as the racer tried in vain to remove the three nuisances.

"Stand still!" the man shouted, turning his rifle at the first Jacques.

The Jacques shook its head in response, ducking behind the jutting wheel well on the truck bed. The second and third Jacques tried to rush forward, only to dive to the side when the man swung his gun around.

"One of you, just tackle him!" Dr. Zlo roared from behind the wheel. "Who cares if one of you goes down in the process. You're simple creations!"

"Boss, they can't hear you," Cass said helpfully.

"Thank you, Cass. Tell me something I don't know next time!" Dr. Zlo said sarcastically.

"Oh, I don't think I could do that, boss," Cass answered. "You're the greatest criminal mastermind. What could I possibly know that you don't?"

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Cass," Dr. Zlo answered, jerking the wheel to avoid one of Sweet Dream's grenades. "But don't overdo it."

"Of course not," Cass answered.