Why Did I Become the Villainess?

   "I'll be a part of this world? What do you mean?"

   The man from the bookshop sigh and stare right into my eyes. "Have you ever wonder what will happen to you if the fictional world collapsed?"

   I frown at him and look at the rude voice. Didn't that person already told me what will happen? "I will die. If the fictional world perishes, I will perish too."

   The man from the bookshop nods his head. "It's true, but it's also not entirely true. What Pearce told you is just a partial truth." The man then glared at Pearce. So, Pearce is his name. I see.

    "You see, when a spirit from the real world came to the fictional world. The spirit would belong to the current world that the spirit is staying in. And when that world ceased to exist, then the spirit's existence in the real world will be erased too. You are probably wondering why can't the spirit go back to the real world? It's because once a spirit of another world enters a different world, it would create an imbalance to both worlds. It's the same reason why you, Ysavel Vlahos, existed with the real Csille in her body to resolve that imbalance."

   "But if the fictional world collapses and you die on it. Your missing spirit will create an imbalance in the real world, and to resolve that, the real world will erase your existence. But what will happen to you after? Will you really die? The answer is no. You won't die, Ysavel. You cannot die in a world you don't belong in the first place. Your spirit will be forever stuck in this world then. Even if the real world exists, you cannot go back there anymore when the fictional world collapse."

   "It's the same reason why we keep reminding and guiding you," the little girl suddenly said. "But you didn't listen, Ysavel. So, we call you here because of something important."

   The man from the bookshop gestured his hand to the man who is the same age as mine. The man took something from somewhere and hand it to me.

   I look at the item in my hand. It looks familiar however, I forgot where did I see it. Before I could even ask something, Earl suddenly jumps towards my direction.

   "It's the book! It's really the book." Earl is about to take the book from my hand, but when he touched the cover of the book, he suddenly rolls on the floor. He is groaning in pain.

  I immediately stand up, and I am about to help him when the little girl stopped me. "If you want to help him, then don't get close to him. It's the consequences of holding the book without its consent."

  I look at the book I am holding and to Earl, who is still groaning in pain. What does she mean? The consequence of touching the book without its consent?

   I suddenly remember what the man in the bookshop told me that night when I touched that glowing book.

   'It traveled here just to find you. Take it. You will need it in the future.'

   The man from the bookshop said that the book traveled just to look for me. And the little girl just now told me that Earl is in pain because he touched the book without its consent?

   I look at the book I am holding. Is it the same book in the bookshop before? That glowing book?

   "Yes, it's the glowing book, and it's also the notebook I gave you in the real world. It's where you write your novel. You don't remember?" The little girl asked.

  I stare at the book I am holding. I only realized the similarities between the notebook where I write my novel and the book I am currently holding. Is it really the same book? But what is it doing here?

   "Ysavel, you're the chosen one of the book. The book you are holding right now is not just an ordinary book. It's a magical book where it could make your desire come true. However, you need to prove that you are worthy of its power. That's the reason why you are in the fictional world and living as Csille Lauretré, the villainess of your novel. You want to be a real writer, right? Then you need to prove to the book that you really want to be a writer." The man from the bookshop explains.

  "Let me ask you, Ysavel? How much do you desire to be a real writer? To what extent do you wish your novel to be published?" The little girl asks me.

   "How much I desire to be a writer? Nobody knew how much I want to be a writer. Since I was young, it's my lifelong dream. Writing is like my life force. It's the reason why I still want to live. So asking me how much I desire to be a writer is like asking me how much I desire to live."

   No one understands how much I struggled to become a writer. Even if Lena and most people I know encourage me to stop writing, I never did. I never imagined myself not writing. So, even though I received too much discouragement from everyone, I still choose to write.

   Pearce scoffed at my answer. "It's your lifelong dream? It's your life force? Are you shitting us, Ysavel? If writing is really your life force, why are you doing the things that would hinder your wish to come true?"

   I got silent because of what Pearce said. It's true. I have been slipping. I have been doing things against what I have written.

   I look at Pearce and sigh. "What can I do? I've been trying my best not to interact with the lead characters but what can I do if they are the one who keeps coming to me? I've been trying to avoid them. I really did."

   Pearce scoffs at me again. He also rolled his eyes. "Excuses. It's just your excuse, Ysavel, because if you really want to, you could get rid of Prince Fraser easily, but you still let him get near you. Why? Do you already have feelings for him?"

  I am about to answer Pearce when the man from the bookshop suddenly speaks. "Pearce," He stares at Pearce and shakes his head at him. Pearce immediately shut his mouth and just rolled his eyes at me. "Ysavel Vlahos, sorry for the behavior of Pearce. But what Pearce said is true. We have been giving you warning since you first came into the fictional world. But what did you do? You keep ignoring it and continue to do what you want to do."

   I tried to explain myself to them. "It's not that I'm ignoring it. I just want to have a clear understanding of the world I'm currently living in. You want me to live as Csille Lauretré, but my knowledge about this world and about Csille is limited only to what I have written. I just want to understand the fictional world more. Is that wrong?"

   The man from the bookshop shakes his head. "There are things you better not know for your own good. So, why are you forcing yourself to know it? You cannot change anything in this world, Ysavel. No matter how much effort you put, things are made as it is. So, why waste time on those things?"

   I shake my head at the man from the bookshop. "You all don't understand. It's easier said than done. I didn't wish to do something against what I have written, but what do you want me to do? To just stand still and just watch things progress to worst? I could at least do something to warn them. I could at least do something to save them."

   Pearce laughs at my answer. "But isn't that what you have written, Ysavel? You write those things to them. So, why are you doing something against it? It was you who write it. You are also the reason why they will experience it."

   I messed my hair out of frustration. They don't understand, do they? "It's the reason why I want to save them. I write those things thinking that it won't happen in real life because it's only fictional. But it's different when I am seeing it with my own eyes. I am the reason why they will be in danger. I am the reason why that is happening to them. So how can you expect me to sit still and pretend that it isn't connected to me?"

   "So, it's your guilt conscience," the man who is the same age as me suddenly spoke. It's the voice who talks to me in the darkness! It's the voice that talks to me when I am still new in this world. I now remember why his voice sounds familiar.

   I tried to reason out, but I cannot. What he said is true. I was trying to save them because I'm guilty. I am the reason why they are in that situation, and it eats my conscience thinking that something will happen to them, and I couldn't even do something about it.

  "Lucan," the man from the bookshop shakes his head at the man who is the same age as me.

  "Teague, why do you keep protecting her? The reason why her life is messed up and the reason why the fictional world is messed up is because of her. Why don't you want to let her hear what she needs to hear," the little girl said to the man from the bookshop.

   The man from the bookshop, whose name is Teague, sigh and look at me. "I am not protecting her, Lily. I just want her dreams to come true. When is the last time someone attains their desire with our guidance?"

   All of them got silent for a couple of minutes. "It's been a long time since someone successfully finished their task, right? Can't you see?" He gestured his hands towards a space, and a hologram pictures of different people could be seen. "There are a lot of spirits who are trapped in this world. I saw each one of them lost the life in their eyes. We're Virtuose. Our goal in life is to help spirits accomplish the task given by the item and live the life they desire. But throughout these years, how many spirits successfully finished their task? How many fictional lives got wasted? Aren't you all tired of seeing these happen all over again? Don't you think maybe we are doing something wrong in here?" Teague sadly said.

   What does he mean? It's been a long time since someone successfully finished their task? Someone? Who is that someone? Task? What task is he talking about? Virtuose? They keep saying these words, but I still don't understand what does it mean. They said they guide the spirits? What spirits?

   Pearce shakes his head. "Do you think it's our fault, Teague? We all did our best to guide them, but what did they do? They didn't listen to us. They keep doing what they want to do. That's why they end up getting stuck in here. We did all our best, and it's their fault for not listening to us."

   Teague, the man from the bookshop, is about to rebuke when Lucan suddenly speaks. "Teague, we are their guide only. We cannot decide for them. We can only show them the right way to complete their task. We cannot force them to do what we want them to do."

   Teague just shakes his head. He then snaps his fingers, and Earl, who is groaning in pain on the floor, suddenly stops groaning. "Earl, can you please bring Ysavel back to her room. The other Virtuose and I need to talk about something first. We'll just call you if we need to talk to Lady Ysavel."

   Earl immediately stands up and guides me out. "Ysavel?"

   I look at Teague, and he just nods his head at me. "Ysavel, we'll just talk some other time. I'm sure you are still confused about many things. I will let Earl fill that confusion for you. Also," he snaps his finger, and the book I am holding suddenly floated towards him. "I'll take the book for now. I'll just hand it to you if everything's clear between us, the Virtuose."