Chapter 56 - : Regrets
"YSA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE? COME ON HERE!" Aaline shouted at me. She and Earl are currently playing with the lion.
They are both brushing the lion's hair and snuggling it. I look at the two and laugh. They look like children.
I started to walk to them, but I stopped on my track when I saw a flower. It's Red tulips. The first flower Prince Fraser gave me. I suddenly remember the first time I talk to the young Prince Fraser in the Palace garden.
Prince Fraser extends his hand like he wants to pat my head, but he didn't. He grabbed the flower that is dangling close to my head. He took it and showed it to me.
"I like this one the most." He smiled and put it behind my ears. "There, it suits you. It complimented your hair and your eyes." He patted my head and continue walking.
I was shocked that time. I didn't expect him to put a red tulip behind my ears. Red tulips. The flower he gave me is red tulips, and in the flower language, red tulips mean declaration of love.
Declaration of love? How could I even think about that puny memory? That's just child play. Prince Fraser would never fall in love with Csille.
"Ysa?" I heard Aaline called my name.
I shake my head and walk again towards their direction. I better get rid of any thoughts about Prince Fraser. It won't do me any good. It will only bring misfortune to me. Starting from now, I must think of Prince Fraser as a curse. Yep, a curse.
"Ysa? Are you okay?"
I look at Aaline, who is now looking worriedly at me. I just smile at her and sit beside her. "I'm okay. I just remember something. Don't mind me." I started to comb the hair of the lion too. The lion sighs satisfactorily. It looks like the lion really enjoys the attention he is getting.
"Ysa? Do you regret accepting the item?" Aaline asks all of a sudden.
Both Earl and I stopped playing with the lion and look at Aaline. We both didn't expect her to ask that question. But come to think of it. Did I regret it? Did I regret taking the notebook from lily, the little girl slash the Virtuose?
I got silent for a moment because I don't know how to answer it. I wanted to say yes, but I want to say no at the same time. There's a lot of cons and pros of me being transmigrated to the fictional world. But what does weigh more? The cons or the pros?
I sigh. "To be honest, I don't regret it. Although I miss my best friend Lena but aside from her, I don't really have other people left behind. If I didn't accept the notebook, I'll probably regret it because I wouldn't get a chance to meet my loved ones in this fictional world. It sounds funny, right? I am the one who wrote about them, but they become the most important people in my life now."
"Ysa," Aaline shakes her head. "You cannot be too attached to them, or else it would be hard for you when the time comes that you need to get back to the real world. Also, you need to realize that they are characters only. They are not really alive, Ysa. You said it yourself. Characters are meant for characters and humans and meant for humans. That's the same with family and friends."
"Actually, I understand where Ysavel is coming from. If you grow up having no one around, you'll wish to have anyone with you. And I don't think there's nothing wrong with getting too attached to them. As long as you still know who you are and what you need to do." Earl disagrees with Aaline's words.
Aaline frowns and crosses her arms. "So, are you saying I am wrong, huh?"
Earl instantly raised both of his hands as if saying he surrender. "I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying that maybe you should see where Ysavel is coming from. It's easier to be attached to something you have been longing for so long, and there's nothing wrong with that. Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of needs already stated that one of the needs of a person is love and belonging. We're made to love and to feel love, Aaline, and it's never wrong to do that."
"Abraham Maslow is a human, and you also said it yourself. We, HUMANS, need it. But Ysavel is referring to characters and not humans, Earl. And you said it is never wrong to love? Bullshit! If it's not wrong, why are we all stuck in this godforsaken world! Did you forget Earl? Did you forget the reason why are we all here?" Aaline suddenly burst out.
"But what if they are also humans?" Both Aaline and Earl look at me. Confused by what I just said.
"What do you mean they are humans?" Aaline laughs at me. "How can it be possible we all know that they are just fictional characters."
I shake my head at her. They don't understand, do they? "It's not about if they come from a story or not. But what I'm saying is, we only said they are not human because we already have this fixed mindset that only us, people from the earth, can be called humans. But have we forgotten that just because we think they are not humans, then it means they are not? For them, they are humans. What's the difference between them and us? Aside from our origin, we're all the same."
"Ysa, I don't understand what you are saying. They are characters and definitely not like us." Aaline looks at me confusedly.
"The only difference between them and us our origin. Their origin came from the artist who made their world and gave their lives. Our origin came from the great almighty who made our world and gave us lives. It's just the same. We're all the same. They have their own emotions and mind just like we did."
"But we come from different dimensions, Ysa. No matter how you try to explain things. It won't change the fact that, us and them couldn't co-exist together, or there would be an imbalance to both worlds." Aaline said sadly. I could see pain in her eyes.
What could have happened to her?
Earl clears his throat. "I regret it."
We both look at Earl. He regrets what?
Earl smiled at us. Although he is smiling widely at us, I could still see sadness in his eyes. "I regret accepting the book. I really regret it. If I didn't accept it, maybe they are all still alive and happy. But what does regret can do? Can they bring them back? No, then cannot. I cannot see them again no matter what I do."
Aaline holds the hand of Earl. "Earl."
Earl just shakes his head at Aaline. "I'm okay, Aaline. You don't need to worry about me. It's just sometimes I really miss them. I miss my family from the fictional world. I wish I could see them again, even just for the last time. They are the only family I have, but I am the reason why they die. Maybe it my retribution for asking for something I could never have in the first place. I am an orphan. How could I have a family?" He chuckled. "In the end, you cannot escape your faith. I am an orphan and will always be. Ahh, what a cruel world it is."
I look at Earl and sigh. I understand him because, just like him, I am also an orphan. I have never seen my parents, and I never feel the warmth of having a family you can call your own. Only in the fictional world, I realize how great it is to have a loving family.
Will I end up like Earl? I hope not. All I need to do is to stick to the plot, and I could save everyone from dying. I could save the fictional world. Ysavel, please stick to what you have written.
"Earl," Aaline softly whispered while gently caressing Earl's arm as if saying she is there for her. "Don't be like that. Who knows, maybe you could find a family here."
Earl stares at Aaline, and Aaline stares at Earl with an awkward smile on her face. I smile while looking at the two of them. I definitely could see something between them. I don't know what happened to them, but I hope they could find the happiness they are longing for.
Earl clears his throat and cough. He then looks at Aaline shyly. I could see his ears are already red. "Do you want to have a family?" He asks Aaline.
Ahh! Holy moly! Is he asking Aaline to have a family? I cover half of my face. I wanted to shriek, but of course, I cannot. I don't want to ruin the atmosphere. I knew it! He's into her.
Aaline face instantly flushed because of Earl's question. She then avoids his gaze and takes her hands away from Earl. "I-I. Wha-what do-do you mean?" She stutters.
Earl immediately shakes his hands at Aaline. But why is he shaking his hands?
"I was just asking. That's just a casual question. Please, don't misinterpret it." He then scratches his nape as a sign of embarrassment.
Aaline immediately froze on the spot and looked at Earl. She then stands up abruptly and kicks Earl, who is still sitting on the grass. The kick is so intense the Earl curls on the ground while clutching his legs that Aaline kicks. Even the lion they are caressing immediately stands up and runs away out of fright.
"You're really a jerk! Don't you ever talk to me again!" Aaline shouted at Earl, who is still curling on the ground because of the pain. Aaline then looks at me. "Ysa, come on! Let's get out of here. This guy is really useless." After saying that, she walks out of the Paraiso.
I look at Earl and shake my head at him as a sign of disappointment. Earl looks at me confusedly. He stops curling on the ground and tries to sit up. "What did I do?" He asked me.
I just shrugged my shoulders at him and walked out of the Paraiso too. When I walk out the door, I immediately saw Aaline fuming mad and kicking the wall while murmuring something.
"Stupid writer! I hope he woke up tomorrow with a third arm. Hmph. Stupid guy! Stupid! Stupid! Arggh, I hate him!" She messed her hair but Aaline immediately straight up when she saw.
She then gives me an awkward smile and looks at my back. She's probably looking for Earl. "He's still inside. He's still complaining about his legs."
Aaline just rolls her eyes. "That's what he gets for being a jerk. I should have kicked him in his," Aaline stop talking and shake her head. "Nevermind, you really can't expect something good about that guy. Come on, Ysa. Let's check on Soiartze. Maybe she's feeling better now."
I walk beside Aaline. "What did she do these past few days?"
Aaline shakes her head. "I don't know, aside from staying in her room for the whole two days. I don't know what she is doing. I tried to convince her to go outside, but she would always decline. I'm already worried about her, Ysa. Do you think she's okay?" Aaline clings onto my arms and looks at me with a worried eyes.
Based on what I could see in their relationship, Aaline probably considered Soiartze as her sister, and I know she's probably worried about her now. But Soiartze probably just needs time to accept the reality and face it as it is. And Soiartze is the only person who could do that.
"I hope so. Soiartze just needs time to accept everything. Let's not rush her. All we need to do right now is to make her feel that we are always here for her and that she is not alone in her battle."
Aaline sighed and looked at me. "Ysa, will you be like us?"