Why Did I Become the Villainess?

 "Miss, do you feel okay now?" One of the servants asked. 

 My father, the Count, insisted on bringing few servants with me because he is worried I couldn't take care of myself.

 Contrary to his belief, I could take care of myself pretty well. More than anyone could take care of me. 

 I nod my head at her and fix the shawl that is covering my whole face. My eyes are the only thing people could see. 

 "The Crown Prince and the Great Ruler made sure that no one would see you when you get out the inn." The servant added.

 I look around, and true to what the servant said, there's really no one outside the inn. Even when I come out of the room. I didn't see anyone lingering around. Even the innkeeper is nowhere to be found. I look around, trying to find the carriage of the Vrawyth Kingdom. I frown when I only saw one carriage, and it's not even from the Vrawyth Kingdom. Instead, there's a flag of Illorian City at the top of the carriage.

 "Why is there only one carriage? Where's the other carriage?"

 The servant bows her head. "Miss, your highness, the Crown Prince, instruct all of the carriages to wait outside the gates of the Illorian City. He is worried that you wouldn't like it if anyone saw you in your current state. The carriage inside is the carriage that the Great Ruler prepared for you. Sir Leander and the Great Ruler are already inside, waiting for your arrival."

 I nodded my head at the servant and started to walk towards the carriage. I'm a few steps away from it when the carriage doors opened, and Leander comes out of it. 

 He looks up at me and smiles. "This way, my lady," he said while pointing his hand inside the carriage. He also offers his hand to help me enter the carriage. 

 I smiled and gave my thanks to him. I look around the carriage and saw the Great Ruler smiling at me. He takes a blanket out of nowhere and hands it to me. "Use this. The weather outside the Illorian City is cold." He looks at my clothes and nods his head with satisfaction. "It's a good thing you wear something thick."

 Leander walks inside the carriage again. The servant who is with me is also inside the carriage. Sitting beside me so she could immediately attend to my needs. 

 "Lady Lauretré. Did you sleep well last night? The journey will last for almost two weeks, and with your current state, I'm afraid we don't have a choice but to let you stay inside the carriage for a week. So, we can make sure that your allergy won't relapse again." Leander said at me. He also takes some medicine from inside his vest. "This is some medicine and ointment that will help you lessen the itchiness. With all the movements from the carriage, I'm afraid the friction made by your clothes will irritate your skin more."

 I take medicine and ointment. I think Leander will become a very competent doctor. Aside from his unwanted feelings for me, his personality is actually good. I just wish all those feelings are gone. It will not bring him good if he continues to have feelings for me. I hope it's just infatuation.

 The Great Ruler clears his throat and gives me some books. "Here, I heard from your professors that you like to read. I've brought some books to make you entertained."

 I accept the books and scan them. All the books are high quality books, and most of them are limited books. Only a few copies are made, and they are sold to aristocrats, nobles, and those wealthiest businessmen. 

 I didn't expect that the Great Ruler has these books. And they are more than ten different titles. As far as I remember, Prince Fraser only has one copy of one of the limited edition books. How rich is he to have these books? And he is letting me read it? I look at the book, horrified. What will I do if I tear the pages? Although my parents are wealthy and they could afford to compensate the Great Ruler. But I think it will be a significant loss to the money of the Lauretré family. 

 "Wow, these books are the holy books of all the doctors. I didn't expect I could see it in person. Great Ruler, are you sure you let me borrow it?"

 I look at Leander, who looks so happy right now. If he has a tail, he would have been wagging it by now. What can I expect from the son of the Royal Physician? Of course, he would be obsessed with anything related to medicine. 

 The Great Ruler smile at Leander and nods his head. "Sure, you can read it. Also, if you really want that book, I could give it to you."

 Leander's eyes immediately widen. With a shaking voice, he asks, "Can I really have it?" 

 The Great Ruler nods his head as a response. Leander then hugs the book like it's the most prized family heirloom. I laugh at his reaction. I didn't know he has this kind of trait.

 The Great Ruler looks at me. "Do you like the books? If not, I could ask some of the elders to take out the books they have. They-"

 I immediately cut him off and shake my head. "No need. I'm more than satisfied with the book you let me borrow. You don't need to bother the elders."

 The Great Ruler nods his head in satisfaction. Afterward, the carriage becomes silent. Leander is busy reading his precious medical books. While the Great Ruler is taking some sleep. I look at the carriage. It's so huge that even ten people could fit in here. 

 I look at the window and saw in front of us the carriages of the Vrawyth Kingdom. I immediately spotted the carriage of Prince Fraser. 

 What is he doing right now? Is he still mad at me because of what I am doing? 

 I remember the conversation I had with Rufus and Princess Paislee. All of them think that I am being too unfair to Prince Fraser. But I'm only doing what I think is best for everyone.

 I sigh and look up at the sky. Is my decision correct? I really hope so. 

_____________________________

 I didn't realize I fell asleep while looking outside the window. I was wake up when I heard a noise outside. 

 I look at the window and saw the guards standing outside the carriages. Making sure that everyone is safe. 

 "This is where we will rest. I didn't wake you up since you look so exhausted," Great Ruler suddenly said that I got startled. I thought I was alone.

 I look around and saw that the darkness is starting to engulf the whole place. It's probably almost six in the evening. I look around the carriage and find that only the Great Ruler and I are inside of it.

 "Leander volunteered to help setting up things. They are now starting to set up tents for us to sleep in. The servants are also starting to prepare for our dinner." 

 The Great Ruler took a lamp from behind him and lit it. "The Crown Prince and I both agreed to let you sleep in here. Even Leander suggests that you sleep in here. He said it wouldn't be good for you to sleep outside. Especially they still don't know the cause of your allergy."

 I looked outside and saw Prince Fraser, Princess Paislee, Rufus, and Leander sitting around a bonfire. They are laughing and talking about something while I am here in the carriage. They look at peace and happy without me.

 "If you want, you could join them. I'm sure they wouldn't mind seeing you right now. Also, Leander said that your rashes are starting to heal." 

 The Great Ruler probably sees the sadness in my eyes. But I shake my head as a response. How can I interrupt their happiness? They look happy even without me. Maybe I would ruin their fun if I join them. 

 I smiled bitterly. They probably hate me right now. But isn't that what I want? For them to hate me? Because sooner or later, they will also hate me for being Csille. For being the villainess.

 "Csille? Are you okay?"

I shake my head at Ruler Laird. "I'm okay. Maybe I got exhausted with the journey. Ruler Laird can I have some time for myself? I'll just change my clothes. It has already been soaked on my sweat for hours now."

 The Great Ruler is about to refuse, but he just sighs and walks out of the carriage. Before he closes the carriage door, he said to me, "If you don't feel okay, always remember I am here to listen to you, goddaughter." He then closes the door.

 I immediately close the curtain, hugs myself, and curl myself in the corner. I tried my best not to make any sound. 

 It hurts. It really hurts. It feels like I lost something important to me. What I am doing is for the sake of everyone. It the right thing I should do for them to be safe. But why does it feels like I am making the biggest mistake of my life? 

 I suppress myself from crying. I can't cry. It's my own decision to avoid them. To make them hate me so I cannot cry. I need to face the consequences of my action. You cannot cry, Ysavel! You're not born weak. Everything will pass, and tomorrow will definitely be a good day.

 However, no matter how I cheer myself up, the scene where they are laughing and enjoying themselves without me flashes through my mind. It's like my mind reminded me how my existence doesn't really matter, and they can be happy even without me. 

 Is this how villainess lives? Alone and lonely? 

 I just cry myself out until I fall asleep again. I only woke up when I heard someone waking me up. I open my eyes that are fluffy now because I was crying. I probably look worst now. 

 "Miss, here's your dinner. The Great Ruler is the one who specifically prepared it for you. He also consulted the doctors about your meal to make sure that it's safe for you and it wouldn't worsen your condition. He also asks if you feel okay now."

 I slowly get up. I don't understand why I'm already sleeping on the carriage seat, and there's also a blanket covering me. The last time I remember, I was in the corner of the seat crying my heart out. Who put this blanket on me? I looked at the blanket and realized that it's the blanket that the Great Ruler gave me. It's probably him too.

 I look at the food on the tray. Isn't that my favorite prinsesstårta? But how come there's princesstårta in here? Does the Great Ruler prepare this for me? 

 I look at the servant. "This cake," I point my hand at the cake. "Is it from the Great Ruler too?"

 The servant remains her head down, and I could see her playing her fingers. She's anxious? But why? 

 "Yes, miss. I-it's t-the Great Ruler who prepared that." 

 She stuttered, and she's anxious. What is she hiding from me? I squint my eyes at her, but since her head is down, she couldn't see it. I sigh and just let her off. Maybe she got too nervous talking with the Great Ruler. 

 I waved my hand at her, and she hurriedly walks out of the carriage. I look at the prinsesstårta and smile. Great Ruler must be Godsent because I badly need sweet right now. 

 After eating everything in just a minute, I lean on the wall of the carriage. I'm so full. Eating is still the best way to deal with your heartache. 

 My eyes looked outside the window and landed on the group of young people eating at a table. They are talking and laughing while eating their dinner. They look... so happy. Happy without me.