Witch of the Web

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

So uh… that happened. 

Where do I even start? 

You know what, we’ll start and end it on… it was complicated.

Actually, that’s a copout and I know it.

Fuck.

Alright, fine, it started good. I was really enjoying it at first. Then, like always, my broken ass head decided to make a fucking cuntwaffle out of itself.

We were midway through what had to have been some of the best sex I’ve ever had, and then, in the heat of the moment, Felicia leaned on me in just the wrong way and I spent the rest of the night in tears.

So… suffice to say, I killed the mood in a right hurry.

Plus side? Uh… there is none.

Fuck, shows me for trying to stay positive.

Whatever, it’s not like silently cursing my insecurities is going to solve anything. I might as well be at least somewhat productive. 

Fortunately, those same insecurities prevent my lov- girlfriends from dogpiling me so it’s an easy enough matter to climb out of the bed without waking them up. 

With my sleeping beauties still out cold, I decide to try my hand at breakfast. And by ‘try my hand’, I mean cheat like my life depends on it.

Among the many advantages of having Willow as a familiar, I bet the jacks never thought making a full breakfast spread would be one of them. All it takes are some flavor profile scans we can readily find on the net and -

Bam!

Instant breakfast.

The delicious aroma wafting through the air must be waking them up, as I can hear Summer and Felicia making some groggy noises from the tent. After a few seconds, both my girls come out, drawn by the smells of food. 

I’m immediately thankful that Willow must’ve reverted Felicia’s proxy body back to normal, as both women forget to put on some clothing.

Summer pokes at the freshly made pancakes as if she’s trying to test how real they are and after giving it her seal of approval, she quickly digs in. Felicia follows her lead while I eat at a more sedate pace.

After chugging a cup of coffee that I hand her, Summer finally has enough wherewithal to speak. “Where’d you get all this food?” Ah, the obvious question. I debate messing with her a bit, but I’m still feeling a bit raw after last night, so I opt for a straightforward answer.

“Willow made it. How is it?” I ask while trying to stifle the hopeful tone in my voice. Summer’s such a wonderful chef, and I’m really hoping she approves of the food.

“It’s…” she hesitates, and I’m too slow to hide my involuntary wince. “It’s good, but… well. How did Willow make it?”

“We compiled flavor profiles and generated the food from that,” I explain, unsure what the problem is.

“Ah, that would do it. It’s very… textbook,” she says while waving her fork in the air. “It’s the same issue with food synthesizers. You can always tell when food is artificially generated versus made by hand, even in Lanadel. It’s a little too… perfect.”

“Isn’t perfect good though?” I ask, more than a little confused.

“Not when it comes to food. It’s almost like an uncanny valley sort of effect. With no discernable flaws, our brains are more concerned with trying to find one than they are enjoying the dish. A few mistakes can really amplify the individuality of a dish. A bit too much or too little salt can be all it needs to make it stand out from every other time you’ve eaten it.”

I nod along with her explanation after a moment. It does make sense. Sort of. I suppose I should’ve known better than to think she’d be impressed with what amounted to printed food.

“It’s not to say that it’s not tasty!” she quickly adds. 

“You just said that you’re more focused on finding flaws than enjoying it,” I point out dryly. “It’s okay, you don’t have to sugar coat it,” I sigh. “Though, it does make me wonder if it’s possible to add that element of randomness to an AI generated food dish. What do you think, Willow?” 

Willow climbs into my lap and steals a piece of my bacon. She chews on it and swallows just like an ordinary cat. She doesn’t really respond after that and just hops back off to begin taking down the tent.

“Well, I liked it. Though I might just be used to synth-food given that I ate so much of it during training.” I smile at Felicia’s comment and get to work helping Willow.

“We have a lot more ground to cover,” I say, trying to change the subject. “If we can manage a good pace, we should arrive at our destination tomorrow at around noon.”

“About that,” Summer says after finishing the last of her breakfast. “Why doesn’t Willow just transport us there, or make us a car or something?”

“Do you want the short or long answer?” I ask once everything has been condensed down in a feat of physics fuckery that’s only possible in Lanadel. 

“We have a long walk? So, the long answer I guess?”

I take a deep breath as I consider how to explain the limitations of my AI feline familiar. We start walking for a good ten minutes before I’m even ready to start.

“Well, we’ll start with the simple one. She can’t transport us directly there because she’s never been there, so she doesn’t know the routing. As for why she can’t make us a car or something, that’s a bit more complicated.”

Complicated doesn’t really cover it. Still, she wants the long answer, so the long answer she’ll get.

“Well, first of all, let’s start with the low tech option. Horses. Willow can’t create creatures. Not ones that behave normally.” I can see Felicia about to say something, but I know what she’s going to say. “Before you ask, yes it’s important that they have normal behaviors, otherwise you’re asking a cat to manually control some horses. It would go horribly.” Felicia huffs in response. I nailed it.

“And that’s not even really a limitation on just Willow. AI reproduction is a complicated subject I don’t want to get into aside from saying, Willow can’t do it.” I take a breath before continuing. “And I think I explained why AIs struggle with making animals in particular. Remember the Cyberpet source app thing?” Felicia and Summer nod. “So yeah, animals are a no go without the app.”

“So what about cars?” Summer asks.

“There’s a couple of reasons for that. The most straightforward one, is that it’d attract attention. The AIs who made Lanadel wanted a mostly fantasy coded world. Cars don’t really fit into that very well. So you can’t normally get one. If we were driving around in an offroad truck, it’d only be a matter of time before somebody, likely some nosy loggers, noticed.”

“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” Summer points out.

I glance at Felicia, “Do you want to field that one?” Our redhead girlfriend nods.

“LOG has listening posts all over Lanadel. Anything that’s too out of the ordinary will get flagged by the nearest outpost and agents would be dispatched immediately. It takes considerable effort to keep things hidden within LOG’s operational reach.”

“Heavy warding like I have for my tower, or hidden locations like the resistance base are the name of the game when it comes to avoiding the jacks,” I add. “So while theoretically, if Willow could make a car discreetly, it’d only be a matter of time before we got caught. Though, that’s conjecture as she can’t actually make one anyways.”

“You’ve yet to explain why,” Summer laughs.

“I’m getting to it!” I grumble. “So, Willow’s powers right now aren’t as omnipotent as people think. She needs the right building blocks to create things. Lanadel is based off meatspace and everything has a molecular makeup built into its code. From the ground to the grass to your perfect ass.” Summer smiles demurely while her face flushes crimson.

Huh? Where the fuck did that come from? 

Since when did I have game?

Heheh. Right.

“Anyways, she can cut materials out, or add in new ones, but only with stuff she has on hand. She can fudge it a bit, but only to maybe add a simple atom or two to the mix. So she can’t take dirt and turn it into metal, but she can take the basic building blocks of grass and turn it into bacon.”

“Wait, wait, so we ate grass for breakfast?” Felicia interrupts. 

“Heh, yeah. Bet you couldn’t tell though,” I point out. She reluctantly nods before waving at me to continue.

“So yeah, any time Willow changes things, she needs the right building blocks to do it.”

“Wait, but she gave me armor and a shield and what not when we defended your tower,” Felicia counters. “How’d she do that?”

“Oh! I think I can answer that one!” Summer exclaims. “She tapped into the adventurer system right? She just stole some loot?” I grin and nod. “Wait, so why can’t she grab more and turn that into a car?”

“Ironically, it’s because metal is simpler than organic life,” I giggle. 

Heh. Still loving that giggle.

“You’re not going to find enough copper in the loot system for wiring for the most simple of examples.” 

Summer and Felicia nod slowly as they absorb the explanation. 

Phew, that was a pain in the ass to explain. How much time did that pass…

Oh fuck me, not even an hour!?

End Chapter 26