Memory Lost

Chapter 133: I Want to Kill Part 2

He continues smoking until the whole apartment is filled with enough smoke to choke others. He’s not someone who smokes often nonetheless; he coughs non-stop as he throws the cigarette butts into the trash. But he falls into a daze again by himself.

A thought inexplicably springs into his mind——they are just a couple tens of meters away in an apartment hugging each other intimately.

This thought stings his heart as always. He’s not someone who thinks too much or lets his imagination run wild. But right now, after today, a certain kind of stress and emotions that he has suppressed for a long time seem to be shouting to break free from control.

Probably because he’s too tired, Xu Si Bai doesn’t remember when he falls asleep. And the dream he has tonight is clearer and more intense than all of the ones he has had before. He dreams that Bai Jin Xi is leaning in his embrace, looking up at him and smiling.

He dreams about her holding his hand, walking into a white colored home filled with warmth from the sunlight. She guides him toward the bed and she entangles with his body like vines and kisses every inch of him. She moans and shivers like a young beast underneath him. She stares at him with such affectionate and happy eyes. muffled words come out between their lips. Only three words repeat: I love you, I love you, I love you……

You are so perfect like this, so how can I not love you?

Xu Si Bai wakes up from trembling.

He realizes that it’s in the middle of the night and his whole body is sticky yet soft, and comfort. For someone who has never had any experiences with women, it’s too pleasurable. But after pleasure, it’s the enormous feeling of emptiness and ridicule.

It turns out that he can only have her in his dreams.

Yet he actually doesn’t want to wake up from it.

_____

Two days later.

A’s real identity and facial features have finally been confirmed.

“Xia Jun Ai, male, 24 years old, from Beijing. We can confirm that within the seven-member organization, he is the serial killer with the code name, ‘A. ’” Xiao Zhuan still hasn’t been dispatched from the hospital, so Chatterbox is responsible for gathering information and giving the brief summaries. He’s standing in front of the projector and is introducing the man in the photo to the Black Shield Team as well as to the other criminal investigators.

“On the morning of the 14th, Xia Jun Ai, or A, appeared at the Sichuan Building which was no more than fifty meters away from Jianfeng Building where the explosion happened. It was rush hour for work at the time and he’s not an employee of the building. The surveillance camera caught him coming down from the 25th floor two minutes after the explosion. But he was wearing a mask and a baseball cap at the time, so we couldn’t make out his facial features to confirm his identity.”

Chatterbox moves his mouse and an image from the surveillance camera appears on the screen. The rest of the members of the Black Shield Team are sitting in the front row; Su Mian is sitting beside Han Chen and has her head up looking at the screen. The image clearly shows a man with a tall and slender body wearing a baseball cap and a blue janitor uniform walking past a corner of the building. Despite he disguises well, Su Mian can recognize him right away.

Her gaze shifts sideways and spots Xu Si Bai with the corner of her eye unintentionally. He’s sitting at the very end of the first row. Compared to the day of the explosion, he looks a lot better now. Light gray jacket, white shirt, and dark brown trousers. Besides having a bandaid on the side of his forehead and on his wrist, he’s still the same elegant and refined person. And in these few days, there hasn’t been much difference in their interactions. They don’t mention what happened that day; they nod and greet each other whenever they bump into one another; familiar yet distant.

Su Mian remains quiet for a moment before lifting her head and looking at the screen again.

Su Mian remains quiet for a moment before lifting her head and looking at the screen again.

Chatterbox continues with the info, “……however, there were police officers around that office building at the time and it was even sealed off. Therefore, when that brat came down, he would have had to take off his mask. He’s very smart though. He almost avoided all of the cameras. But! There will always be a miss no matter how intricate your plan is. At the time, the office entrance was surrounded by onlookers taking photos, and we were able to find a clear image of him from one of them! And based on time, place, body figure, the way he walked, and facial features, he must be A!”

Everybody’s eyes are on the screen.

It’s a very refined looking man who also looks very young, but his facial features already carry a grown man’s sharpness. He has short and fluffy black hair and long and narrow eyes. His pupils are black as ink and look as if they carry a smile. He has a tall nose, thin lips, and fair white skin.

Since he’s wearing a black casual jacket, long brown pants, and running shoes, he looks like a student and a young man who has just started working at the same time.

And as Su Mian stares at his refined face, she feels mixed emotions inside her heart. It’s uncomfortable; very uncomfortable. There’s a bit of pain, but mostly it’s hatred. She recalls him calling her “Big Sister” all the time while carrying all sorts of child-like resentment feelings. Yet she doesn’t know that between him and her, what kind of a relationship they had back then.

“We’ve done some research and Xia Jun Ai’s hometown is in Shaanxi Province. His family was too poor, so he moved to Beijing with his parents when he was little, becoming a ‘little Beijing drifter. ’ His family was poor and his dad was a known thief. When he was eight, his father was beaten to death due to a conflict between others in regards to an unfair split of the stolen goods. His mom worked part-time, and the mother and son couple lived a very hard life. At the age of 12, his mom fell ill and they didn’t have money to treat her or had insurance. She died at home as a result. Since he was little, he had been stealing for a living, and therefore, he has a record at the Beijing police station a long time ago. He stopped studying after graduating from junior high school, but he earned full scores for physics and chemistry and even won the top prize in numerous competitions,” Chatterbox continues to summarize the events of his life, “Five years ago, at the time of the 420 case, he was only 19. He had already been drifting by himself for a few years and no one knew where he had been or what he had been doing.”

_____

Nighttime.

At a warehouse in a suburban area.

At a warehouse in a suburban area.

The sky is dark and the lights are kept off inside the abandoned warehouse. Only L is holding a very old-fashioned European-style candle lamp. He places it on the wooden table that is covered in dust. He then fetches for a handkerchief, lays it down on the broken couch, and sits down slowly.

A doesn’t care as much. He sits his bottom down on the couch, almost crushing it. He can’t help but complain, “L, this is getting out of hand! You’re responsible for finding the place for us to connect. The first few times were alright. They were five-star hotels or mansions. And then we met at a motel, and now we’re in a warehouse in the middle of nowhere. Are you being funny?”

R on the side is sitting quietly as he lights up a cigarette and doesn’t say anything. L lets out a “hmph!” and retorts, “Xia Jun Ai! Who do you think has caused us to become like this? Your name and high-definition photo are already printed on the most wanted poster now. If we don’t meet here, did you want to meet up at the front of the police station?”

A can’t find words to talk back. Instead, he smiles, puts a cigarette in his mouth and says mockingly, “How much better are you? Have your wounds healed yet? Your common places of activity are now full of officers patrolling the area. I think you’re going on the wanted list next.”

“Enough,” R speaks finally after being quiet all this time.

The moment he speaks, A and L both quiet down.

R is sitting in the darkest shadowed area. It’s hard to make out his face; only the cigarette between his fingers is burning slowly. His voice is deep yet crisp but is rather cold as if it carries a sense of indifference naturally.

“Our plan hasn’t been going too well. The two of you are pretty much exposed and may be caught by the Black Shields one day. We don’t have much time and we won’t have more opportunities to commit crimes,” he pauses before continuing, “so it’s time to end everything.”

A and L nod.

“Let’s leave it at that then,” R confirms the decision.

A and L nod.

“Let’s leave it at that then,” R confirms the decision.

“R, they killed three of us,” L says suddenly, “If it’s time to put an end to everything, we should kill three of them too.”

R doesn’t answer. A butts in, “Three? Including Han Chen?”

L’s voice is stubborn yet cold, “Of course. If we don’t kill him, how is it putting an end to everything?”

A laughs out loud, “Oh please. Do you even dare to kill Han Chen?”

R continues to be silent while the two of them bicker at each other.

“Why would I not dare to?” L says.

A spurts out another laugh, “Let’s talk when you can really kill him.”