[Book Four] Chapter 47: Back Home

Chapter 47: Back Home

Jane sat on the chair next to her daughter in the med-bay, looking at her brother laying on a med-bed and being shackled to it. She was exhausted and so were the others. The fight went badly. No one on the team was hurt beyond nasty bruises all thanks to EDI who, through Dorothea, took control of Rick’s nanobots and ‘simply’ used them to make him unconscious. They would have been doomed otherwise. Rick had been relentless, he hit hard, fast and where it would hurt the most. Arianna had tried to defend everyone with her biotics but it hasn’t been enough.

“How bad?” Jane asked her daughter.

Instead of answering, Arianna used her omni-tool to display a picture of her father’s body. By going through the logs of the nanobots she had listed and was now currently displaying every single wound her father had suffered ever since his disappearance three years ago. Jane grimaced at what she was seeing.

“How many times?”
“Counting today, twenty seven.” the younger redhead replied grimly.

Bringing her hand to her mouth, Jane felt sick. Her brother had died twenty seven times since she last saw him. All were violent deaths that could drive most anyone insane with only one should they resurrect. She was well aware her brother was out of the norm but she didn’t delude herself for a moment either believing or hoping that everything would alright with him. Considering his attack towards them after dealing with the Ketts, she knew something was wrong.

“Any idea why he attacked us? Was it conscious or…”
“I don’t know. I won’t know until he wakes up. It’s possible that he was… Perhaps he was acting on instinct. He died traumatically and when he came back he just… His brain may have still been wired towards his survival. Or resurrecting him so many times…”

Jane nodded in understanding at what Arianna was not saying. There was the possibility that Rick was completely gone. The fact that he took no less than five shots in the head during the past three years would make a severe loss of memory or change in personality not unexpected. Standing up she told her daughter that she was going for a coffee and exited the med-bay.

It was only after her departure that Rick woke up slowly, prompting Arianna to stand up immediately ready to act.

“Hmm… Jane?” the blond man asked as he looked dazzlingly around and so Arianna who felt a bit of relief hearing her mother’s name.
“No, daddy. It’s me.”
“Daddy? That’s a new kink.” he replied with no emotion in his voice as his daze went away slowly.
“No Daddy, it’s me, Arianna.”
“Next time come up with something believable, Arianna is five. ”

Hearing those words, Arianna’s face paled in fear.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“This is good news, commander. I’m glad he’s back among us.”
“I’m not really sure that’s the case, Admiral.” replied Jane to the holo of Admiral Hackett.
“What do you mean?”

Jane sighed and with her omni-tool sent through the transmission the latest addition to her brother's medical record that Arianna had given her. Hackett raised a brow as he read the file. The further he read the higher his brow.

“Holy shit, he did it.” he said barely above a whisper still looking at the file before looking at Jane. “He found a way to immortality.”
“Not exactly, sir. He still died. Plenty of times before… well before being brought back each time. We’re also not sure if the nanobots lengthen someone’s life span and more importantly the consequences are heavy.”
“What are they?”
“We don’t know for sure. So far his memory is scrambled. He thinks our daughter is five but he remembers that Sara Ryder married her. He still thinks that his first wife is alive yet knows he has children with others. He has noticed the discrepancies and is a bit… perturbed by it. We don’t know if it’s because of the shots to the head he got or if it’s because he was brought back to life so many times. When he came back during the mission, he attacked us once he had dealt with all the Ketts in the area as if he didn’t recognize us. My niece Sandra and Arianna believe that at the very least his psych is unstable. Every time he died it was violent, then there was the isolation for the past three years and the continuous fight against the Ketts. From what they say, and I agree with them, PTSD is on the table. Perhaps the most severe case ever seen.”
“... I see. Not worth the effort to equip the soldier with this version of the nanobots, then. Not if as a result they are not mentally sound.”
“No, sir. EDI has found his notes about them and he apparently was aware of it and discarded the project. Both for practical and moral reasons.”
“Moral?”
“He believes that death is a gift and makes life precious, that tempering with it is playing god. He already did that during the Reaper War and he absolutely doesn’t want a repeat.”
“Understandable.” Hackett commented, remembering the decision that Rick had taken to make sure that the species kept the cooperation going beyond the end of the Reapers and the huge loss of life which resulted from it. “Though, I wonder why the nanobots are functional if he didn’t delve further into that.”
“From what EDI reported it was an accident.”
“An accident?”
“Yes, sir. Rick programmed the nanobots to… well, it’s not really accurate but I guess ‘heal’ any wound or ailment. They know what the natural state of the body is by reading a person's DNA and the medical knowledge they have been programmed with and correct any change beyond acceptable parameters. Still from EDI’s report, the nanobots are actually too well programmed to the point that they apparently consider death as an unnatural body state.”
“So by being thorough in his desire to keep people healthy he achieved what he especially didn’t want to. Talk about irony…”
“Yes, and there is no way to make it so the nanobots don’t see death as an unnatural state since some death we can recover from, like a heart attack. They don’t make any difference between that and a shot through the heart or to the head.”
“Pity but perhaps it’s for the best.”
“Personally, I think so, sir.”
“Well, I hope he can recover. What about the mission itself? You and your team were sent to scout and you engaged in battle. I’m not putting any blame, commander but what’s the situation?”
“He did a lot of damage before we arrived. All the Ketts are dead and sadly their prisoners too.”
“His doing?”
“No. Tali and EDI do not believe so, it was the Ketts who by redirecting power to activate their defenses cut it off for the prisoners in stasis, they… suffocated inside their pods.”
“Nasty way to go. Did you recover any new data?”
“Yes. It’s being decrypted and analyzed as we speak.”
“Good. Have EDI keep me up to date with it.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’ll send a small squadron of ships to secure the area, in case other Ketts show up and speak to the council about building a Mass Relay here. Come back to the Cassiopeia as soon as you’re done here. Hackett out.”

The admiral cut the transmission and Jane let out a tired sigh. The cassiopeia upon offer from Sandra had become the mobile HQ  for their side. With its technology and capabilities as a ship it fitted well for the role. That also allowed the council to not have to pay for the construction of a new HQ in Andromeda. Of course the offer wasn’t free and there was a fee, but it was cheap compared to building a new Command Center. There were some restrictions though. Some areas were off limits, like the labs reserved for the company and anything closely, or not, related to RED, DRED, GREEN and VERDUN. Restrictions that the new council had no problem accepting. As a result the Cassiopeia was once again full, something that had not happened since colonies had been established in Andromeda.
From Hackett’s words, he wished the Alliance had a mobile HQ like that but was completely fine with only enjoying it for a bit. That the Admiral was put in charge of the whole council fleet had been a surprise for everyone, including the man himself. It was Raan, as the Quarian’s councilor, that presented the idea to fight the Ketts in an organized manner and not with each species having their own armed forces doing their thing in their corner. The idea was well received and when it was time to choose a Commander, Hacket’s name had been brought forward. After another vote the human was chosen and took former primarch Victus as a second in command. There has been some malcontent at the decision as humanity was already at the head of the council with Lindholm, but Hackett’s achievements during his career and most notably during the Reapers War made it so the opposition came only for a small group of people. It was temporary anyway as the fleet would be disbanded once the war was over. Anderson was asked to take Hackett’s place as the Fleet Admiral but the man declined saying that he would be more useful staying on Celeste, training new recruits. In consequence, it was Hannah who got the job to her greatest pleasure as she was tired of the inactive life.

Exiting the com room, Jane went back to the infirmary to check on her brother and found Leeha speaking with him while Arianna was checking the results of some tests. She caught her daughter’s eye and gave her a look to which she got a shake of the head. Nodding in understandment, she walked towards the bed , listening to Leeha emotively speaking to her father, talking about what had happened in her life the past three years. Rick had a smile on his face but quickly recognized it was fake. That made her think that the situation didn’t bode well. Even if Rick didn’t care about what the children were telling him (which was rarely) their simple enthusiasm always made him smile truly.

“Come on, Leeha. Share a bit, you’ve been with him for hours.” she teased and that made the Quarian blush and stutter half an apology half a denial making Jane grin in amusement. She had always wondered if Leeha would have grown more in control of her emotions, like her mother, if she hadn’t grown in a safe environment. Likewise she wondered if Tali would have grown like her daughter in the same circumstances.

The quarian gave her father a big hug that he barely answered to and left the med-bay, probably to join her mother in the engineering deck. Jane exchanged a glance with Rick in silence for a good minute before she spoke up.

“How are you feeling?”
“Tired. Tired and sore, this bed is uncomfortable and should have been changed long ago.”
“Well… Perhaps I can bring you up in our cabin. Arianna?” Jane asked but her line of sight never breaking from the eye contact with her brother.
“He’s good to go. Physically there is nothing wrong. Anything else can be done wherever.”

Jane nodded and took her brother’s hand to pull him up on his feet. He didn’t resist in fact his own grip was nonexistent, his hand just limp. She told Arianna to not wait for them for dinner and led him towards the elevator. In no time they were in her cabin and she went straight for the bed where he laid on his back, looking at the star through the small window on the ceiling.

“How bad is it?” she asked bluntly, looking at him from the side why she herself laid on her side.

“I’m tired, Jane.” he answered simply. She knew he meant mentally and emotionally and didn’t like hearing it. A hint of worry and fear sprouted in her.
“Like on Eden Prime in 87?” she asked, trying hard to hide any emotion in her voice.
“Worse.”

That single word made her scream in anguish internally. In a slow and smooth motion she moved herself higher in the bed and pulled him in the valley of her breasts, hugging him. Instinctively he answered in kind.

“We’ll get through this.” was all she said and got no answer.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

In a big secluded room reserved for the company, a lot of people were looking at a gigantic monitor. Most of the family was present on the Cassiopeia with the exception of the twins who were busy. Even the members of the family working on Celeste were there. The only ones missing in the room were Rick and Ashley who were in another. A hospital room to be precise. Rick was sitting on a bed with his head in some kind of machine whose purpose was to record his brain activity. Ashley was sitting on the bed too with a photo album in hand. They were about to test the state of his memory and see if he could remember things along the way. EDI and Arianna believed he could since the way his brain works was non-linear.

“You ready?” the brunette asked her husband.
“Hmm. Go ahead.”

She nodded and opened the album and presented him with a recent picture of the whole Shepard family minus himself. From grandmother to grandson. It took a few seconds for Rick to look at the picture before he spoke, putting a finger on Jane’s face then Arianna.

“Jane and Arianna. They could be twins if not for the eyes. At first I thought Arianna was her mother because of it and because well… Jane looked like mom which made no sense since mom is here too.”

“Anything else?”
“Matthew. I have no problem remembering him. I mean, I probably don’t remember every interaction I ever had with him, but that’s normal. I don’t have an eidetic memory after all.”
“What can you tell me about them? Start with whoever you want.”
“Well… Since we’re speaking of Matthew, he graduated early from Celeste academy as a valedictorian. Got enrolled into the Alliance Navy under a false name, so he wouldn’t have to be burdened by his mother’s reputation or mine. He served on the Marseille under Captain Boli for a year as a member of the under-wing program and two more as his XO. I hate his sex buddy. She’s a bitch of the highest order.”

In the other room every one snorted at that and despite nearly being thirty Matthew blushed in embarrassment. Thankfully the girl in question has been long gone and has been replaced recently by Amelia Williams, Ashley’s niece from Abby. There were a few years apart but none cared.

“Something more to add?”
“... No.”
“He was recruited by Helena Müller to N-school. He took a year to reach N7. First of his promotion and third overall in the entire history of N-school right behind his parents.”
“... He… He beat Jane’s driving score by a point.”
“He did. A great improvement from you and Jane.” said Ashley with a smirk in a mocking tone. Had she been able she would have heard the scream of outrage from the whole Shepard family who were all renown bad drivers, and the hilarity of everyone else.
“His survival score… He didn’t beat Jane but since there was no need to, he just called for evacuation as he was the last.” he said with a frown trying to remember. “He put in practice my lessons on survival in a wild environment. Came out like a tourist on vacation.”
“That he did.” replied Ashley in agreement, remembering how Matthew had built an igloo and spent the whole test fishing or improving his accommodation. The test had been in a tundra environment; they only had a tent and a sleeping bag as aid beyond their usual gear. From what she heard from Adam, Helena had decided to add a more thorough survival course to the N-program when she saw Matthew’s result. Between father and son, she knew there was something there to improve and she had been right. The N7 graduates, or just any N for that matter, were getting better and better with the new training regimen that she had started nearly thirty years ago.

“Should I… remember something else?”
“A lot but it’s more about his day to day life. He’s not seeing that girl anymore. Want to try someone else?”
“Arianna. It’s… She’s still five to me yet… Yet I know she’s not because I remember Sara marrying her. It’s hazy… I see Sara kissing a redhead at the altar but I can’t make up her face. A whole… part of the wedding is… It’s either missing or blurry. Then there is… a picture, I think… One of… No, their first kiss? She was mad, out of embarrassment. Her face was as red as her hair, just like her mother used to.”
“Hmmhmm.”
“We worked on…. AEND? No, no… We worked on… improving the nanobots. Studying why their behavior was beyond their programming and how they affected living tissue. How they could read the DNA and eat diseased … Oh.”
“Oh?”
“I just remember catching her and Sara eating each other out on her desk in her lab.”

In the other room everyone looked amused at Arianna who was even redder than her hair while Sara sitting by her side was grinning like a loony before she gave her wife a kiss on her cheek.

“Not the kind of thing a father wants to remember.” added Rick with a sigh before continuing. “ I was planning on making her head of the medical department. I think… I discussed it with her but she didn’t give me an answer. She was… She and Sara were searching for a sperm donor but I’m not sure.”
“They were.”
“Did they find one or put it aside?”
“Both.”
“Because of the war I supposed.”
“Yes. What about Jane?”
“My last memory of her was kissing her goodbye before I left for my last trip. I don’t think any important memory is missing about her. We had our ups and downs, especially downs at first but ever since we got together it was mostly ups.”
“Alright. Just to be sure, when did you two get together?”
“The morning after I beat her clone to a bloody paste with my bare hands. Or I would have if Liara hadn’t stopped me. It was surreal, she cried and stuttered. She never does that.”
“Really? I’m going to tease her so much with this. Anyway, let’s go with your mother.”
“Not much to say. She’s a good mom. Crazy as hell for singing a lullaby about a skeleton to children and she’s responsible for most of the unsavory traits in the Shepard family.”
“... A good mom… How good?”
“Busy with her career but always 100% with Jane and me when she was home. For a military woman, she wasn’t that strict.”
“Not even during your rebellious years as a teenager?”
“I was on Omega with mom during that time.”
“Aria you mean?”
“Yes.”
“Does that make sense to you that you were not with your mother but with Aria on the other side of the galaxy?”
“... No. I… something happened… Jane left and I left too but… It’s pointless, I can’t remember. Jane left but I should have stayed with mom… Yet I didn’t not.” he replied with a frown.
“That’s alright, you can always speak with your mom if you wish to.” replied Ashley and got an affirmative not in turn. Turning the page she presented a picture of her and their children.

“That’s Adam.” he said pointing with his finger. “Used to talk all the time until he decided that he wanted to be just like you. Always pulling Sandra out of trouble. Sometimes I wondered if she didn’t do it on purpose just to see how he would save her from her bad deeds…”

“Somehow, I won’t be surprised.” commented Adam looking at his sister sitting not far from him who simply stuck out her tongue at him in a childish manner but with an amused smile.

“He’s dutiful. More than you and certainly more than me in a way. Don’t know where he got it from but I’m glad he got it. He’s married to Garrus’ girl and has three? No, four daughters. The last time I saw him was… when I made a diversion against the Ketts.”
“Yes.”
“That’s JJ. The one who worried me the most beside Arianna. So much talent but always thinking he’s not good enough because he doesn’t succeed in the same things Adam does or did. If only he could understand that he’s his own person and that no matter what path he chooses in life as long as he does his best and he’s happy, I’d be proud of him. He doesn’t have to be in the military and follow the Williams tradition, his aunts proved that. I’m afraid that if we don’t talk to him and set things right he’ll always think he’s in his brother’s shadow when he’s not.”

Adam put an arm around his little brother in comfort who bore both a sad and happy smile at the same time. Sad because of the time it took for him to realize that and happy because his father was proud of him.

“He’s…Working in a very high end restaurant?”
“His husband does and he does help from time to time but he took my hobby of assembling and disassembling weapons to…”
“He’s a mechanic.” Rick interrupted her, remembering. “A damn good one.”
“The best on Ryder.”
“Must have done wonders for his self-esteem.”
“That and more.”
“TK and AJ. I remember twins. Lots of twins.”
“Eight if we don’t count them and their wives.”
“They were mercs for a bit before opening a small security firm. Bodyguards more than tech.”
“Hmm.”
“Then the last one. You.”
“Me.”
“Considering we have four sons and that you’re wearing a ring on your ring finger, I’d say we’re married.”
“We are.” she replied softly.
“That means…”
“...”
“Next photo.” Rick simply said and Ashley quickly obliged not wanting to broach the particular topic of his first wife.

The new picture was of two asari, a mother and daughter.

“Mommy blue and.. A…A…” he was struggling remembering his daughter’s name. Thankfully the teenager was not in the room but with the other children and teenager somewhere on the Cassiopeia. Liara looked saddened at the fact that he didn’t remember their daughter’s name.
“Ae…”
“No! Don’t tell me! I have it! It’s.. It’s there.” he snapped and Ashley clamped her mouth shut. “ Damn it, it’s easy to remember she was named after her… Aezzia!” he finally exclaimed.
“Correct. What can you tell me about her?”
“She’s the wildest little thing that I have ever seen. She makes me look well behaved in comparison.”
“Understatement if I ever heard one.” Jane said under her breath. Not low enough to not be heard by Liara who despite her urge to defend her daughter couldn’t because that was the truth. “I won’t be surprised if she either becomes an adventurer, a smuggler or Omega’s next Pirate Queen. Or all of them in that order.”
“Right on the mark.” she answered and changed the subject for Liara. “Why did you call her mother ‘mommy blue’.”
“Because Liara is now a mother, a total MILF and because she’s now an adult in human years. I can’t call her baby blue anymore. I’m glad that I don’t think like I’m robbing the cradle anymore.”

Jane was laughing good heartedly at the notion that the one hundred and forty seven years old asari could be considered barely out of the cradle by her sixty three years old husband. Not even an elbow to her side from the asari in question who was rolling her eyes at so much stupidity from her bondmate could stop her.

“In a way, he makes sense.” Sara said.
“Of course he would make sense to you. You’re robbing the cradle yourself.” Arianna joked.

More questions about the two asari followed and the picture changed to the Anderson family.

“That’s Kahlee.” he simply said without adding anything more.
“And?”
“We have the same father but I can’t remember who. I know we look like him, especially me but I never met him so I probably won’t remember. She’s a better sister than Jane in some ways I think, since I don’t remember ever having a fight with her. She’s… the normal of the family, which I’m very grateful for, especially since unlike Jane she’s not sleeping with me.”

That piece of information shocked the ones not in the know in the other room. Most notably the children that were not part of the Shepard’s family.

“What the hell is he talking about?” JJ asked, turning to his redhead aunt. Sighing, she gave him a short answer.
“Something for later.”

He wanted to protest but the glare Jane gave him and the shake of the head Arianna and Matthew gave him stopped him.

“Anderson, is one of the best men I’ve ever met and I’ve met plenty. Scum or idiots for the most part. He has a very keen intuition, more than most at the very least. Watched over the kids, my kids, that studied under him on Celeste. Still waiting to read his memoirs, it’s been a decade.”
“Anything else? No? They’re married.” she explained after he shook his head no.
“Well that explains the slight urge I have to shoot him despite me liking him.” he answered and made everyone laugh.

Another picture was brought up and this time showed two Quarians.

“Tali is my best friend and partner when it’s about building things I thought up. She’s very emotive and a bit shy despite everything she did. Gave me my sweet potato.”
“Sweet potato?” Ashley asked curiously not understanding what he was referring to.
“Leeha. You’ll never meet anyone as sweet as her. Even more shy than her mother. I’m glad to be her father. Though with how ruthless I am and how domineering Tali can be, I wonder how we could produce a sweet girl like that.”
“Produce?”
“Ashley, we have four sons, I don’t need to tell you how reproduction works.”
“Rick… Do you think you’re Leeha’s… Eh… sire?”
“Of course I am. Who else?”
“Her biological father?”
“I am her biological father.” he replied with a frown.
“You’re her dad because you raised her. Quarian and humans can’t make children because their DNA is differently based; did you forget?”
“I must have found a way to make it happen. I’m smart enough to do that and I don’t remember any quarian male in her life.” he replied with a shrug.
“To quote Tali ‘he joined the headless people’s heaven’, just like Brooks.”
“Who?”
“No one important so nevermind.”

In the other room Leeha was shedding tears happily at the knowledge that the one man she loved the most believed she was his blood. It has always been a sore thing for her that of all the children she wasn’t really his daughter. She remembered discovering the truth when she was ten and how he assured her by his words and then action that she was every bit his child and how relieved she felt. Part of her though always wished that he was actually her biological dad.

“‘Headless people’s heaven’?” asked Siobhan, confused.
“Your uncle Garrus put a bullet in the man’s head which exploded.” Dorothea answered matter of factly.
“Wow, brutal.” Analysse exclaimed.
“But well deserved.” said Jane.
“It was too good for him.” Tali contradicted and brought Leeha closer to her in a one arm hug.

The subject of Lorel has never been talked about ever since Leeha was born. Not even her wanted to know about him. Why would she when she had, in her eyes, the perfect father already? Added to the fact that her mother never spoke of him, the young quarian never bothered asking any questions. When the talk about the long deceased quarian stopped, they noticed that Rick was changing again the picture, who had been of Dorothea and Siobhan, to a picture of the Andersson family.

“That’s Bubble, Girlie, Pumpkin and Little Terror.” they heard him say as he pointed to the faces with his finger.
“Names?”
“Miranda, Jennifer, Sandra and Analysse respectively. Sandra is Miranda’s and Analysse is Jennifer’s. Of all the children Sandra is the one who took the most after me in the brain department. Arianna may be the genius in the family but Sandra is not so far behind and thinks like me. She and I… we…”

What Rick was about to say was cut off as the screen turned dark.

“Hey!” exclaimed JJ.
“Sandy! Why did you turn it off!” Siobhan asked reproachfully.
“Because I didn’t want to know what he does or doesn’t remember about me.” replied the ravenette.

That began a small dispute between the siblings but everyone in the room knowing of her relationship with her father understood why she lied, especially with Leeha in the room. Adam wasn’t dupe though as he knew his sister like the back of his hand but chose to not say anything and ask her later. Arianna and Sara looked at each other and had a silent conversation. They knew that Sandra wasn’t entirely lying. Not after being there for her for the past three years. Sandra had hid it well but she had been devastated at Rick’s loss and one night they found her crying in her office completely drunk. Ever since, Arianna had watched her baby sister like a hawk and truly understood the depth of her feelings for their father. Sandra has been miserable for the past three years and it was only when Sara suggested bringing her into their marital bed that she got a bit better. It was just to comfort her at first with simple cuddling but after many months it turned to more. Arianna, who still remembered the kiss her sister gave her, had not been much opposed to the idea of sex and with a bit of coaxing from Sara agreed to pursue the relationship further. It wasn't a common occurrence, not even once a month but they still keep doing it from time to time. Sandra always felt better afterward and even confessed that thanks to that she felt closer to Arianna and felt that she could confide in her. Something that she didn’t think she could do with any one from the previous generation beside their father and Jen.

On and on it went, and Rick went through everyone’s pictures again. The more he saw, the more he started to remember. Mostly important moments that marked him deeply. Arianna, little Analysse (who was an adult now), and Kahlee were the ones he had trouble remembering things but at the end of it, it was determined that most of his memory would come back gradually.