Tatakau Shisho

Volume 9, Chapter 4: The Singer and a Certain Boy – Part?3

A year passed. Nieniu still traveled the world, healing people who were afraid and suffering. There wasn’t a single day in the world without any suffering, so Nieniu went around with no rest.

As expected, from time to time her forelock would transmit that boy’s pain to her.

‘It hurts… my head, eyes, throat, stomach, my whole body hurts…’

“…You’re going through another excessive Magic Deliberation, huh?”

Nieniu muttered while running in the forest.

‘Hold on… If I don’t then I wouldn’t become stronger… Persist… I must persist…’

He kept enduring until he was sorrowed. Without screaming or calling for help.

What were the people around him even doing? Nieniu felt angry. This boy, who was probably much younger than her, had to endure such frightening pain. They could encourage him by telling him to do his best, or stop him from doing too much, or praise him for a job well done… there were plenty of things they could’ve done. Yet they didn’t even despite the fact it would ease his pain if but a little.

“…I have to find him soon.”

Actually, Nieniu was able to estimate his whereabouts to a certain extent. She had gone around the world, but whenever she felt his wailing he was far away. Meaning, it could only be in a place Nieniu had never gone to.

That was the middle of the world, the Royal Capital of Meliot. The place of Ruruta Coozancoona, Vooekisal and the elite warriors serving them.

Nieniu had never set foot in the capital. It was much too dangerous. Vooekisal and the warriors in the capital thought that servicing Ruruta was the absolute justice. Someone like Nieniu who didn’t even intend on fighting would be killed immediately upon discovery. Even now, while she was running around in the woods, it wouldn’t be strange for someone to take her life.

If he ever leaves the capital… Nieniu always thought this while waiting for an opportunity. She has been waiting for six years. It never happened.

“…It can’t continue like this though.”

Nieniu was also afraid of death. Besides, if she dies she wouldn’t be able to save either that boy or other pained people. Although she knew that simply waiting was no good, she couldn’t take any action.

More days passed. Nieniu became eighteen years old.

If she were to believe the words of the Calico Prophet Muzzmuck, the decisive battle against the Beasts of the Final Chapter would end in a year. If Ruruta were to lose then humanity had only a year to live.

According to rumors, just the other day the warriors from the capital were able to obtain the Memorial Weapon known as the Ever-Laughing Magic Blade Shlamuffen. They had already gathered the Rhythmic Barrier Uyulála, the Dark Club Gmork, the Colorful Sand Battleship Graógramán, the Ever-Crying Magic Blade Acharai, the Spinning Doll ückück, as well as the unique Weapon known by name of Lascall Othello, the Passed Stone Blade Yor; these six.

And now, according to the prophecy, they were able to gather the seven Memorial Weapons. The preparations for the final battle were in order.

Would Ruruta win, or was humanity actually doomed? Everyone thought about this.

However, Nieniu gave up thinking about the Beasts. Never mind thinking, she couldn’t do anything about them. If Ruruta wins she would live, otherwise she would die. That was all. The only thing she could do was to heal person after person. She only thought about doing what she could.

More importantly she was interested in something else. She hadn’t felt the distant wailing for a while. Was that boy turned into a Book and Eaten by Ruruta? She thought so, but was greatly pained by it. She ended up not being able to save him. Being Eaten by Ruruta was an honor, but she couldn’t console herself with that.

“…How are you right now?”

She muttered but obviously there was no reply.

That moment, Nieniu felt a dark, heavy pain that she had never felt before. It came from the distant wailing boy.

‘…I’ll die.’

Nieniu felt goosebumps. Until now, no matter how much the boy suffered, he had never thought of death.

‘…I’ll die, that’s all I can do, just die. I’m weak and weak people have to die…’

Was he trying to die so that he would be Eaten by Ruruta? But doing so would still be fine. He wanted to die and erase his existence from the world.

‘I can only die, only die, only die.’

He called the same words repeatedly. He had lost even his rational thinking. He was different from before.

That time she was on her way to a village far from the royal capital to let someone else hear the Song of Healing. However, she turned back on her heels and dashed toward the capital. She couldn’t delay it by a single moment. No, she shouldn’t have delayed it in the first place.

Nieniu kept running for three days and three nights straight. The Capital still was dangerous for her, but this was not the situation to think about it.

She ran through the forest and the plains to avoid attention. However, the more she approached the capital the less places there were for her to hide yourself. Nieniu took out from her bag a mantle with a hood and wore it on her head. She tied the hood with a string so that her purple forelock wouldn’t be exposed. She might be able to manage somehow as long as it wasn’t seen.

She kept walking in the road to the Capital. She couldn’t help but feel tense with just that. Also, the closer she came to the main gate the more she couldn’t suppress the beating of her heart.

“…Calm down.”

While muttering to herself, she entered the royal capital. Fortunately, around her walked people who carried wheat and weapons. Nieniu was able to blend well with them, and so was able to enter without being questioned by the guard.

The distant wailing was still transmitted to her. And for the first time she was able to perfectly ascertain its location.

“…So he was here like I thought.”

The place was near the center of the kingdom. Nieniu ran there while shrinking her body.

The royal capital was enveloped by a strange enthusiasm. The excitement at having assembled the seven Memorial Weapons was yet to subside.

While running she listened to the voices of other people. They said that the people who fought with the Punishment Angels to retrieve the Memorial Weapons have all died. And that all of them have been Eaten by Ruruta. They said that it was actually an honor and everyone was envious of those who fell in battle.

“…”

Nieniu felt disgusted. They were happy and jealous of other people’s deaths. She couldn’t understand their feelings. She kept running.

“Everyone! Please listen!”

Surprised by a voice coming from the side, Nieniu stopped. She found someone strange. He stood at the edge of the road, shouting at passersby. Nieniu stopped and observed him.

“I, Hihak Yammo, have thought today, without any shame, that training was painful! I, Hihak Yammo, strongly regret it!”

The man called Hihak started hitting his own face with his fist. Nieniu looked at him in amazement.

“Ruruta does not fear anything! Ruruta will never hesitate! Ruruta will never run away or lose heart! I will engrave the existence of Ruruta Coozancoona in my heart, and I want to be like him in every possible aspect!”

A single man walked, passing by Nieniu. He grabbed Hihak’s collar and hit him. Even if she were to try to stop him, that man had much stronger bodily reinforcement Magic than her. It was useless.

“Thank you for that strike! It will help me turn over a new leaf!

Ruruta does not fear anything! Ruruta will never hesitate! Ruruta will never run away or lose heart! Therefore Ruruta will never lose! Ruruta is the most important person in the world! I will engrave this in my heart and starting tomorrow will become able to die splendidly for his sake!”

The man called Hihak kept shouting. Was he being forced to do it by someone or was he doing this voluntarily? Nieniu felt uneasy either way.

She couldn’t waste her time so she left.

Nieniu was terrified of the capital that she has seen for the first time in her life. It was abnormal. Not a place where proper human beings could live in. She couldn’t stay there for long. She had to find the boy as quickly as possible.

At some point the distant wailing was gone from her head. Nieniu simply became unable to perceive the boy. She would probably be able to perceive him again sooner or later though; she knew his location, so there was no need to get stressed.

Instead, she had to pay careful attention so that she wouldn’t meet them. She heard about them from the people she had sung to.

If she ends up meeting them, things will become difficult for her.

Running away to hide herself, Nieniu inadvertently left the main street and entered an alley. That was her ruin, however.

“G-g-gaaah!”

She heard a scream from the other side of the alley. No way, thought Nieniu. She stopped and thought that she had to go on another road. But it was too late.

There were several men on the other side. All but one were wearing black robes. The remaining one was naked.

The black-robed people turned to face Nieniu.

‘…The barrier troops!’

Nieniu felt fear at the fact she had stumbled upon her worst opponents. The black-robed men stared at her.

‘…I have to keep going…’

She intentionally ignored them and tried to pass. However, was she actually acting unnatural by doing so?

“You woman there, come here.”

One of the robed men said. She couldn’t run away. She could only walk to them as told.

Barrier troops – they were the reason that Nieniu had avoided the capital till now. They were an organization chosen by Vooekisal himself, a unit directly serving the King of Meliot.

With the warriors of the capital in their center they surveyed the citizens. Their job was to punish those who didn’t believe in Ruruta or feared dying for him. Even simply possessing needless thoughts about Ruruta was a crime. There was no way Nieniu would be allowed to live after meeting them.

She looked at the naked person next to the black-robed men. He had already breathed his last, a rope fastened around his throat. This might become Nieniu’s fate as well in some minutes.

“You look unfamiliar, tell me your affiliation, rank and full name.”

“…Kooni Batts, a low-class warrior from Burnika village.”

That village actually existed, but she chose a random name. She had to lie to escape.

“Why are you here?”

“I have come here due to a summon to the capital. However, realizing it was a mistake in the contact I will be going back to the village.”

“It looked like you were walking towards the Royal Tower, though.”

“…I thought about looking at Ruruta’s tower to encourage my spirit before heading back.”

She wasn’t good at speaking in the first place, but she kept forming words desperately. If she ends up stammering or raising suspicion it would be the end of the line for her.

“Why are you wearing a hood? Remove it.”

“…”

It’s over, she thought and removed her mantle. Yet she received a cold reaction.

“So you have an inborn ability, huh. That hair color signifies a mental perception ability… useless.

Oh well. Leave.”

She felt as if she was about to collapse of relief. They didn’t know about the Singers. Nieniu tried turning back and leaving. However, someone then spoke from behind.

“So that worm already kicked the bucket, huh. Chop him up as an example. Take him away.”

The man who had interrogated Nieniu just now ordered his subordinates.

Worm. That word caught her attention. Perhaps careless due to her escaping danger, Nieniu stopped and turned back.

“…Why was that personkilled?”

Nieniu strongly regretted the moment she spoke up. What would asking that help her? What would speaking up despite already being dismissed help her?

“This worm prattled on and on about how the Beasts were scary. Even thinking that is a crime. Uttering it is out of the question. Even his death wouldn’t compensate for it. It’s natural.”

Nieniu welled up with anger. Why did he have to be killed for just that? Wasn’t being afraid of the Beasts of the Final Chapter natural for anyone who’s ever experienced Orntorra’s Whisper?

“You have any complaints?”

“…No, of course not.”

“It seemed like you wanted to say something, though.”

“…It’s natural to kill him, all weaklings should be killed, if someone isn’t useful for Ruruta, there’s no value to their life. I didn’t want to say anything other than that.”

“I see. Then leave.”

This time Nieniu ran away without turning back.

While running she was assaulted with regret. She had said something she shouldn’t have. Even if she would’ve been killed unless she did so.

That’s not normal. Nieniu wanted to shout. No matter if it’s for Ruruta. Even if it’s for defeating the Beasts and saving the world. Why did he have to be killed? Why did I have to lie like that?

“…And you were in such a place all this time.”

People like Vooekisal and the warriors serving Ruruta always chanted the following.

Ruruta does not fear anything. Ruruta will never falter. Ruruta will never lose heart and will never lose. And so, all other humans should be like him as well.

However, Nieniu thought, Ruruta never hesitated and was never afraid because he was the savior. Because he was different than other people since birth. But that doesn’t mean other people could live like that. They would suffer without ever becoming as powerful. All the people that Nieniu had met as well as that distant wailing boy.

For the first time she hated Ruruta. Although she knew she shouldn’t have these feelings.

Nieniu ran all the way to the capital’s center. She gazed up the towering spire. Then she looked around. She sharpened her senses, looking for the distant wailing boy. After a while his feelings were transmitted again. Nieniu raised her voice without thinking.

“…He’s moving? Why?”

The location of the boy she perceived was at the opposite direction, the edge of the capital. Even though he should’ve been around here until now. Why was he moving? Nieniu had an unpleasant guess.

Is he looking for a place to die? Nieniu broke into a run again.

She didn’t have the leisure to think about the barrier troops. While grazing the passersby, she desperately ran into the main street. The day fell and the setting sun was being dyed red.

As she got closer to the edge, there was less traffic. There were abandoned houses there. They were practically ruins. The place had a bad atmosphere. An ideal place for dying.

Looking around, she saw no human figures. But it was certain he was around. Possibly inside a deserted house, or perhaps in some hiding place she couldn’t see.

Nieniu strained her voice and shouted.

“…Don’t do it! You can’t die!”

Her voice echoed in the silent ruins. There was no answer.

“…Please rethink this! Don’t kill yourself! I came to help! I came to help you!”

This time there was an answer. From a completely unexpected place.

“Who are you talking to?”

It came from overhead. Nieniu looked above. There was an eye-defying person there.

He had hair that filtered the red sunset through as it was transparent. A boy’s body basked in light. It was the rumored Ruruta Coozancoona.

With surprise, or perhaps fear, Nieniu stood with her mouth open agape. Why was he here? What was he doing? Various questions surfaced in her mind.

“Answer my question. Do not waste my valuable time.”

Ruruta lowered himself to where Nieniu was. His feet touched the ground.

“…I’m looking for someone. A child who should be around here.”

“I have no clue. You’re disturbing me so go somewhere.”

“…But, he’s supposed to be somewhere around here…”

“There’s no one here but me. You are mistaken.”

No way. Why are you lying? Ruruta should also have the ability to sense far and unseen places. So you’re also supposed to know where the distant wailing boy is.

Was I too late? Or was he killed by Ruruta?

No. If it was so then Ruruta would have said he was already dead. Since I’ve felt his heart just now he should still be alive.

“I’m telling you to go away. Or shall I blow you off?”

“…Please don’t, it’s bad, a child is trying to die. He should be around three or four years my junior…”

At that moment a question rose to her mind. How old was Ruruta right now? Even someone like him who surpassed human beings should still have an age.

“I told you I don’t know. He’s not here. Don’t disturb me.”

Next she had a flash of inspiration. But since it was far too incredulous of an idea she immediately erased it from her mind.

However, when it was gone a new contradiction was born from the situation.

“…There should be someone here, other than me and you.”

“I’m telling you there isn’t. Looking around, where on earth could they be?”

Yes, there was no one. Then only one question remained.

“…Ruruta, what are you doing right now?”

“How persistent. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. I told you you’re disturbing me. Just go already.”

There’s no way, thought Nieniu. It’s as everyone says. Ruruta doesn’t fear anything, never falters, never loses heart. Ruruta is a great hero who surpasses the domain of humans. It was just a fact that no one had ever doubted.

It can’t be, it’s impossible, completely impossible.

“…I’m looking for a child. A boy who’s always lived in this city. He was always alone without anyone coming to his aid.”

Ruruta’s expression changed as he listened to her words.

“What are you talking about, it has nothing to do with me.”

“…That child always blamed himself for not becoming stronger. He was afraid of the Beasts of the Final Chapter. He rejected his own fear. He wanted to become strong, had to become strong… so he always wished. He despaired at his weakness and wanted to kill himself.”

Ruruta’s face changed while listening to this. His eyes opened wide with astonishment. Fear was engraved on his face. Looking at that, Nieniu thought to herself.

Oh, no way.

And, just like I thought.

“…He had lost his mother five years ago. It was the boy’s one and only mother that he had depended on. And yet she…”

“Stop!”

That moment, along with Ruruta’s rage he unleashed lightning from his body. Nieniu shrieked and fell. The lightning strike didn’t hit her and scorched the surroundings.

Nieniu, falling on her backside, looked at Ruruta in fear. However, as she saw his face she gulped.

“How… do you know about her…”

Fear was engraved on his face. On the face of the savior who never feared or hesitated. On the face of the savior who surpassed the domain of humans and was trying to overthrow even the World Overseers, there was fear.

Ruruta feared the words of a mere girl.

“…So it was you?”

Nieniu now understood. Ruruta does not fear anything. Ruruta will never falter. Ruruta will never lose heart and will never lose… these were facts way above common knowledge that everyone knew.

But who proved this was the truth? Who had ever confirmed and where did they see Ruruta never be afraid and never falter?

It was unbelievable but the truth was right in front of her. The distant wailing boy was Ruruta Coozancoona.

“Why do you know this? Who are you? If you don’t answer I’ll kill you.”

Ruruta approached. Nieniu was scared. At this rate she would be killed.

“…What are you afraid of?”

“Afraid? Who the hell is afraid!”

Another lightning strike fell next to her. Her skin was scorched by sparks.

Nieniu was confused. What should she do? Why was Ruruta aggressive?

“Who are you?! Speak!”

Right, I have read his heart after all. Think… you should know what to do.

“…I’ll tell you. Please stop attacking, I will not keep anything a secret.”

Nieniu removed her hood and unraveled her hair. She showed Ruruta her purple-reddish hair.

“…I am the Singer Nieniu. As you can see, I possess an inborn Magic Right. With the power of my hair I can perceive people’s minds, especially their pain and suffering.

I have read your mind using this ability.”

Ruruta stopped attacking with her words. She kept talking slowly as to not provoke him.

“…I’ve perceived a boy who could not bear the suffering, who was shaking with fear, and he came here. And… only now I have realized that it was you.”

She recalled the distant wailing boy. If these were Ruruta’s true feelings…

“…Only now I came to know of it. So please do not worry. I have not spoken about you with anyone.”

“You haven’t told anyone?”

Ruruta sighed in relief. The moment Nieniu saw his expression, her doubts melted away.

The heart of the distant wailing boy she felt all this time… the figure of the world’s savior, Ruruta, that people were whispering about… and the figure of the trembling Ruruta in front of her eyes today… they all overlapped.

“You’re not lying… you haven’t told anyone, right?”

“…Yes, I have not.”

Ruruta was actually terrified of the Beasts. He couldn’t withstand his weakness. However, he had to act the part of a hero. He had to stay as a savior if only in his speech and conduct.

Nieniu knew why he was afraid of her. He was scared of his acting crumbling down. He was afraid of her peeking into his true feelings.

Ruruta extended his hand toward her. At that instant she shouted.

“…Y-you can’t kill me, I have come to save you!”

Ruruta glared at her.

“What are you saying? Since you know the truth I can’t let you live.”

Even promising to not tell anyone would probably not be good enough. Ruruta was afraid of being exposed. He thought that no one must know he was not the perfect warrior.

“I have to save you! Don’t kill me until then!”

“Save me? You say strange things.”

Sparks flickered from Ruruta’s finger. Yet no attack came. Nieniu knew: his heart was moved by her words.

Obviously. He was seeking help, after all.

“Isn’t that all wrong? I will be the one doing the saving. Because I’m the world’s savior I have to help all people in the world. Saving me is backwards.”

“…But you are hurt and tired.”

Nieniu spread her hands.

“…You don’t need to be afraid. I came to save you. Everything’s fine, you can relax.”

“Stop, what are you saying?”

“…You’ve thought this all that time, right? ‘Save me, someone save me’… always. There is no need to worry. Please come here.”

Ruruta approached. Nieniu also grew closer. Although she was afraid of being killed, she approached him to save him.

She closed her eyes without thinking. Would Ruruta accept her? Please accept me, Nieniu wished with all of her being.

“…”

When she opened her eyes, Ruruta was in front of her. She wrapped her hands around his body and then hugged him gently, as gently as possible. A sigh of relief escaped. Ruruta accepted Nieniu.

“What’s this?”

“…I am hugging you to help you.”

“To help me? You? Help me?”

“…Yes.”

“…Help me?”

On that note Ruruta stopped talking.

“…It was painful, was it not? Then it’s fine for you to say it was painful. Just by speaking your heart you can be slightly saved. It’s fine. You can tell me about your pain.”

A long silence flowed afterwards. Then Ruruta started calmly assembling words.

“Please tell me… am I really Ruruta?”

“…Huh?”

“Ruruta does not fear anything, Ruruta will never falter, Ruruta will never lose heart and will never lose… isn’t that how that is supposed to be?”

“…You are…”

“Tell me, am I truly Ruruta? If I am then why is it so painful? Why am I about to be crushed?

Why am I so scared?”

She didn’t reply. She couldn’t do anything but keep hugging him silently.

“I can’t win. I know this. Every time I listen to Orntorra’s Whisper, I realize I can’t defeat the Beasts of the Final Chapter. No matter how many Books I Eat, how many Memorial Weapons I obtain, I know that I definitely can’t win.

Save me, please, save me! I’m scared! The Beasts are so scary!”

Listening to his wailings, Nieniu thought.

I and every other person in the world all rely on Ruruta. We think there’s no need to fear the Beasts because Ruruta is there. But who can Ruruta himself rely on?

The people rely on Ruruta. But he can’t rely on anyone.

What silly things was I thinking about. I regret having hated him…

He was the one suffering the most after all.

“…I’m the Healing Singer, Nieniu. Let me sing for you.”

Saying this, she began singing. Ruruta stayed silent, absorbed in listening. Nieniu sat down while supporting him. She held Ruruta’s head to her chest and sang.

During that, Ruruta’s heart was transmitted to her. Nieniu came to know of the horribly cruel life he had been living.