Tatakau Shisho

Volume 9, Chapter 4: The Singer and a Certain Boy – Part?4

Ever since he was born he was the savior. He had to become strong.

He had to become stronger than anyone, stronger than the gods.

He was raised while being told he had to fight to save the world from even before he could remember himself. He was told this by his father, by his mother, by Vooekisal, by the warriors serving him. If he couldn’t win then everyone would die. He had to become stronger for everyone. Although Eating Books and gaining Magic Rights pained him, although he exhausted himself in harsh training, he was not allowed any rest. Even when it rained or when strong wind blew, he couldn’t rest for even a single day.

He became stronger. Eating Books and polishing his power, Ruruta became the strongest warrior. However, when Orntorra came to whisper about the destiny of ruin he would tremble in fear and despair.

Inside his dream, Ruruta defeated hundreds and thousands of Beasts. However, they were limitless, and no matter how strong Ruruta was, he was a finite being.

Orntorra whispered that it would be futile, that no matter how much strength he gains he would never be able to overthrow the Beasts using human power. Orntorra showed Ruruta dreams in order to make him surrender.

Despairing, Ruruta cried and begged his mother for help. Even he was a child. His mother’s embrace was warm and dependable. When his training was harsh, when his body ached, it was the one and only existence he could cling to.

However, from time to time that mother would coldly push him aside.

You must become strong. As long as you have this mother you would depend on her. Your mother has borne you and lived to raise you to be strong. I will do so.

Ruruta, please kill me. By killing me, you will kill your weakness that depends on me.

It was in order to save the world and the words of his beloved mother. So he carried it out. He put his fingers on his mother’s neck. He used neither lightning nor flames. He wanted to at least feel his mother’s warmth using his own fingers. He would surpass his weakness. He would become much, much stronger. He choked her while thinking this.

This happened when Ruruta was eight years old.

Overcoming his dependence, Ruruta indeed became stronger as per his mother’s words. But in exchange for that power he had lost someone that would pamper him.

“…”

It was painful. Thus Nieniu thought while embracing him.

Ruruta was about to fall asleep while listening to her song. It was the first time in his life that he felt relief. As well as the first time he felt having his fears and despair vanish. That brought sleep to him. His eyelids slowly closed.

He had to become strong. He had to conduct himself as a great hero. Everyone believed that Ruruta was the savior. For their sake he, without knowing fear, without having any doubts, tricked himself.

There was no person to doubt Ruruta.

Live like Ruruta, become stronger to get near him. Everyone encouraged each other like that and lived. He couldn’t actually say that he was scared. He wasn’t even allowed to show something like that. He had no choice but to live outwardly as the flawless savior.

Sometimes he would actually end up thinking he was the perfect savior. At such times, Orntorra would whisper in his dreams that it was futile, and the Beasts would tear up his body.

If he could live within his delusions and believe himself to be the perfect savior, it might have become easier. However, reality was always cruel to Ruruta.

Ruruta, listening to the song, suddenly started writhing. He blew Nieniu away, rolled on the ground and hit his head against the wall of an abandoned house. She rushed to him and desperately held down his body.

Ruruta wasn’t allowed to rest for even an instant. Inside his body were Imaginary Entrails that housed all the Books he had Eaten. Inside him were the souls of the warriors who believed in him.

They all spoke to him.

Was Ruruta such a coward? He wasn’t a hero? Why have I sacrificed myself? I was deceived by Ruruta. I resent you, I begrudge you. If you don’t save the world we can’t kill you enough for it.

The people who offered themselves to Ruruta tormented him. They told him to become strong and that they wouldn’t forgive him if he didn’t save the world. Their anger was natural. They became Books and were Eaten because they believed it would allow saving the world.

Ruruta shouted toward them.

Forgive me. I will save the world, definitely, so please forgive me.

Both the living and the dead urged Ruruta to save the world. However, Orntorra was heartless, the Beasts were strong, and Ruruta was much too weak.

Ruruta kept shouting in his heart. I’m the one at fault. I’m at fault because I’m weak. He kept shouting, I’ll become stronger so forgive me.

Ever since he was young Ruruta lived while wearing out his mind. And today his mind was about to reach its limits.

“…Ruruta.”

The song was over. Ruruta was asleep as if dead. He had probably not been fast asleep for several years. Perhaps it even happened for the first time in his life. Nieniu worried while looking at his sleeping face.

You can stop already, you don’t have to fight, she wanted to say. If she did then Ruruta would probably be relieved. However, this meant that the world was doomed. Nieniu herself didn’t want to die either. Not only her, there were plenty such people in the world. No matter how painful it was, Ruruta had to fight.

Even so, his life was far too harsh.

When the sun set and the moon rose, Ruruta opened his eyes. Perhaps thinking everything that happened before he slept was a dream, his eyes widened when he saw Nieniu overhead. She spoke while still hugging him.

“…Ruruta. I forgive you. Even if you are weak, even if you don’t save the world, I forgive you. Even if no one ever forgives you, I alone will.”

“You’re lying, there’s no way. Forgiving me would be strange.”

“…I think so. But that’s me. Nobody in the world will accept me. Even so I forgive you. If I don’t then you will be left all alone.”

“I can’t believe it. Someone who forgives me… that such a person exists…”

“…But you always wanted to meet someone like me, right?”

Ruruta nodded and Nieniu hugged him tightly.

Nieniu couldn’t stay in the Capital any longer. Yet she told him to call her if he wanted to meet her again. Ruruta held the ability of clairvoyance to look all around the world. And he also had the power to move to wherever in the world he wanted to instantly. If he wanted to see her again he could do so anytime.

“…If you can’t stand it any longer come to me. I will support you as much as I can.”

Ruruta closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and seemed worried about something.

“Nieniu, is it… fine for me to feel so peaceful? Is it fine for me to forget about combat even for a second while with you? Is that allowed for me?”

“…I don’t know. However, I believe you are allowed that.”

Ruruta kept thinking. And he then spoke.

“I want you to forgive me.”

“…It should be fine. If this much is not, then you will surely break.”

Turning his back to Nieniu, Ruruta rose to the sky. On parting he said the following.

“Thank you. I’m glad to have met you.”

And with this both returned to their places. Ruruta back to the royal tower and Nieniu to the forest outside the capital.

Leaving the capital, Nieniu turned around one last time and thought. I will definitely try to save him. I will protect him with everything I have.

Because he was someone she wanted to protect ever since she was a child. Because he was the one to suffer the most in the world. And more than anything, because she had once, even if only once, hated him and couldn’t forgive herself for that.

A figure was watching them from far, far away. On the top floor of the Royal Tower was an old woman holding a dagger made of stone. She was Lascall Othello.

“I thought that this story was over, yet the world is unpredictable.

However, Ruruta-sama and Nieniu-sama… As far as I see it, the end is but slightly postponed. As expected it is impossible to escape the destiny of ruin.”

Saying this, Lascall vanished as if melting.

Two months passed since Ruruta and Nieniu had met. Both of them returned to their original lives. Nieniu ran here and there, singing her song of healing. Ruruta resumed Eating Books and training for the upcoming final battle.

In the meanwhile, he would call upon Nieniu from time to time. Nieniu would sing her song of healing at his bedside while he was exhausted just like a mother singing a lullaby for her child. Attaining his peace of mind, Ruruta soon drifted to sleep. They didn’t exchange many words. Ruruta was busy and Nieniu was mostly silent anyway.

However, Nieniu was pleased. She didn’t receive any sad wailing from Ruruta like she used to before. Being healed and knowing sleep stabilized his spirit.

There was less than a year until his battle against the Beasts of the Final Chapter. She thought of supporting him until then.

One day, Nieniu felt a human presence from within the cave she used as her lodging.

“…Ruruta? Did you come?”

She called. But she then heard an unfamiliar voice from inside.

“Oh, forgive my rudeness, Nieniu-sama. I have been waiting for your return.”

Nieniu became rigid. Inside was an old woman. Her speech was polite, but that made her character all the more mysterious. The stone sword held by that woman caught Nieniu’s eyes. Just when she was about to think it can’t be, the woman spoke.

“I am Lascall Othello, or my other name – the Passed Stone Blade Yor. I have wanted to meet you, Nieniu-sama. Although I say this, do you know who I am?”

Of course she did. He was a Memorial Weapon that had its own will and could manipulate corpses. Since he could turn the dead into Books and offer them to Ruruta, he was the most important Weapon.

What does he want with someone like me? she thought but immediately understood. This is about Ruruta. I’m now somewhat important. Both for Ruruta and for those who serve him.

“…Is something going on with Ruruta?”

“Of course. Ever since meeting you, Ruruta-sama has changed immensely. Oh dear, how surprising. You have done something quite incredulous.”

“…Y-yes. Thank you.”

“By the way, I have a question. Was it your intention to have Ruruta-sama turn out to be that way?”

“…Huh?”

She couldn’t understand what he meant by “that way”. What happened to Ruruta?

“…What’s wrong with Ruruta?”

Lascall made an unnatural surprised expression.

“Oh my, were you not aware of it? Even though it is something you have done…”

“…W-what happened?!”

An ominous feeling pierced her chest. Lascall smiled and began talking.

“I will explain, Nieniu-sama. The result of your doing is…”

Around the same time Nieniu and Lascall were talking, Ruruta was at the Capital in the training grounds made for his personal use. He used fire-controlling Magic there.

There were several thousands of souls who could use fire Magic inside his Imaginary Entrails. He had to bundle their Magic Rights and use them all at the same time. He focused his mind, collected his power in one spot, elevated the temperature and produced a ball of fire that could even evaporate iron instantly.

This was training he had done countless times till now. However…

“…Guh!”

He failed controlling his Magic Rights. The fireball he couldn’t restrain burnt his face.

Why? He wondered. I was already able to do something like this when I was 10 years old. I have to learn a stronger way of using fire to attack.

Ruruta became self-conscious.

He was growing weaker.

“…Why?”

Nieniu became speechless as she heard this. Although she understood the gravity of the situation, she couldn’t understand the reasons for it.

“He has thus far supported his power using his mental strength. It is impossible for one to obtain the power to support both the large amount of Books inside the Imaginary Entrails as well as the large amount of Magic Rights bundled together without boundless hard work and force of will. Having him mature his abilities at the mere age of fifteen is far too young for that.

Until now, it was the immense sense of purpose that supported Ruruta-sama: him feeling that he was not allowed to run away or to be afraid. The powerful awareness that he was the world’s savior. His obsession toward saving the world.

Since that has already weakened, it is but natural he has also lost his power.”

“…I don’t understand, why has he lost it?”

“Have you still not realized? Even though it was your doing…”

Nieniu flinched.

Ruruta struck the ground with a fireball in frustration. He then sat down holding his head.

He knew the reason. It was because of the words he had heard that day.

“I forgive you. Even if no one ever forgives you, I alone will.”

He was happy to have been told so. He was moved to his core.

However, at the same time… what a thing you have done, thought Ruruta. Why have you said something to stupid? Because of that girl things were about to get dangerous.

Ruruta hit his own cheek. He beat his own face many times until it started swelling up.

“I’ll save the world, definitely. If I have no chance of winning I’ll find one. If I can’t find it I’ll search for it until I die, and I’ll train myself to death!”

He told himself, but his words were in vain. Contrary to how it worked so far, they slipped past the depth of his heart without reaching it.

“Even if you don’t win, I will forgive you.”

Those words pierced his chest like thorns. They couldn’t leave his head.

“Why did you say such a thing… If you tell me such a thing…”

Ruruta covered his face with his hands and spoke as if moaning.

“…I’ll start to think of running away.”

He had nowhere to escape to. Ruruta transformed that fact into power. But now he had a place like that. The refuge known as Nieniu.

Until now he could endure any hardship. He was able overcome pain. All because he had no choice but to endure and overcome.

But now he had Nieniu. Nieniu would forgive him and heal him.

“What should I do! What am I supposed to do!”

He couldn’t stop thinking about Nieniu. Ruruta held his head in anguish.

Nieniu listened to Lascall, her face pale.

“…I didn’t mean… to do that.”

“Well, that is probably true. However, a goal and its result are two separate things.”

Her body started trembling. The fact that Ruruta grew weaker was undoubtedly her fault. This meant that the world would be destroyed because of her.

She couldn’t even imagine that the world’s fate rested on her shoulders.

“You should not feel responsible.

It is an undeniable fact there were you not there Ruruta would have committed suicide. Also, no matter what Ruruta’s state of mind was, he would not have been able to win against the Beasts of the Final Chapter.

Whether you were there or not, nothing would have changed as the destruction of the world is already decided.”

“…But at this rate…”

“This is all I have to say. I am terribly sorry for taking your time, so I will now leave.”

Lascall’s form was about to melt in the ground. But Nieniu grasped his hand and pulled him back.

“…P-please wait! What am I supposed to do!?”

With half of his body submerged in the ground, Lascall spoke.

“Well, it is quite the heavy question for this stone blade. There should be no one who knows how to save the world’s savior.”

Lascall sank, uncaring that his hand was grabbed.

“Besides, for me it is the same. Whether the world will perish or be saved, it is all the same.”

“…What are you saying!!!”

This time Lascall truly vanished. Nieniu’s legs trembled and she fell to her knees.

What should I do? While thinking this, she simply stared at the ground in shock.