The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

[Translator – Asura]

[Proofreader – Gun]

Chapter 78 – Promotion II

“What?”

“Your Excellency. I realize that I’ve never really enjoyed my life up until now.”

Yoo Jiwon said.

“Even if I were to be sealed in time and repeat ‘the happiest day of my life,’ that happiness wouldn’t hold much value objectively.”

Uh… What is she talking about?

“While ordinary people might spend their sealed time happily with their families or lovers, I’d be stuck endlessly repeating the day I got accepted into university or the day I graduated top of my class. Imagine that, Your Excellency. Is that truly the most valuable happiness? I can’t help but feel it’s unfair.”

“Wait… What are you trying to say to me?”

“Honorable Vice-Guild Leader, please let me know in advance next time that you are a regressor and a prophet who promises the eternal gospel of a repeating day. If I knew that, this lowly lamb would strive to create the happiest day to comfortably enjoy in the heaven I will prepare for myself.”

“…”

Silence filled the tent.

“So, let me get this straight. You’re saying that I’ll use the time seal on you, but before that, you’ll create a day worth repeating forever?”

“As expected of Your Excellency. Your understanding is sharp.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Vice-Guild Leader, I swear to serve you loyally like a dog until the end of this world’s destruction. So please, promise me.”

“The world is almost destroyed already! No, Jiwon, I’m sorry. This Vice-Guild Leader was wrong. I was lying. Logically, there’s no such thing as a regressor, right?”

“I have always trusted you completely, Vice-Guild Leader. The bond we’ve built isn’t something to be taken lightly, is it? Of course, the me in the next turn might be too foolish to recognize you as the savior. If that happens, just tell me, ‘I know you killed someone when you were 15 and dumped the body in a ditch in Bukhan Mountain.'”

“What? You killed someone in middle school? No, wait… Hey! Let go of my pants! What? Hey, let go! No? Let go, I said! Lieutenant Yoo! You crazy bastard!”

I’ve encountered many lunatics in my life as a regressor, but Yoo Jiwon, who wanted to use my regression solely for her own pleasure and happiness, was the first of her kind.

Even after 1,183 regressions, there was no one like Yoo Jiwon.

What’s more astonishing… she didn’t just talk big; she actually remained loyal to me until her dying breath.

– The҉o҈҉g҈҉i҉҉o҉҉w!

In my 5th regression, I lost my head two minutes into the fight with the Ten Clans.

But there were many awakened ones who died before me in that battle, including Yoo Jiwon.

“Vice-Guild Leader! Watch out!”

Yoo Jiwon even took a tentacle attack from the Ten Clans for me, jumping out of nowhere to shield me.

I was dumbfounded.

Because I could have dodged that attack myself.

If there were a contest for “Most Pointless Death,” this scene would be a top contender.

Had she not been my direct subordinate who went through countless battles with me, I would have laughed and clapped at the absurdity of it all.

“Hey… Lieutenant Yoo, no, Jiwon… What kind of new nonsense is this…?”

“Cough.”

Yoo Jiwon, with a neat hole in her chest, coughed up blood.

Her blue eyes gazed at me with a seriousness that would never exist again in this world.

“Next turn… Your Excellency, promise…”

*Plop*

She collapsed.

And then she died.

“……”

This is driving me crazy.

4

As absurd as it was, I wasn’t cruel enough to ignore the last words of someone who died for me (even a pointless death is still a type of death, right?).

I regretted not being a bit more ruthless, but it was too late. I ended up delivering Yoo Jiwon’s final words to her in the next turn.

“I see.”

The cool and chic silver-haired girl nodded.

This was a time when the world hadn’t completely fallen apart yet, so resources were still quite plentiful. Yoo Jiwon raided a convenience store with an axe and turned it into her fortress.

According to her, it was a store she’d owned for a long time, but I didn’t really trust her. She lied more naturally than she breathed.

“I understand you’re claiming to be a regressor and that you have the power to seal time. But all of this is unproven.”

“I also know you’re a psychopath.”

“That’s not surprising. People around me have known that for a long time.”

-Kyaaaaak!

In the middle of our conversation, a monster crashed through the convenience store window. It looked like a giant cockroach. I charged my staff with aura and pierced its mouth.

Crash!

Yoo Jiwon approached and finished it off by splitting its head with his axe. The monster convulsed and died.

Yoo Jiwon always had exceptional combat sense. Even then, her talent was evident.

We resumed our conversation as if nothing had happened.

“What more do I need to prove? I know you love the ‘Romance of the Three Kingdoms’ and that you majored in Latin.”

“What? Hmm. Indeed. That’s quite interesting, but it’s still unproven.”

“Dammit, I know you killed someone when you were 15 and dumped the body in a ditch on Bukhan Mountain. Believe me, you psycho!”

“…Oh.”

Yoo Jiwon blinked her eyebrows.

“Alright. That statement just gave your claim a lot more credibility.”

“Why? Because it was a truth no one else knew?”

“More precisely, because it was ‘incorrect information.’ It wasn’t when I was 15; it was when I was 14, and it wasn’t Bukhan Mountain; it was Dobong Mountain.”

“……”

“If your ability were mind reading or extracting secrets, there’d be no reason for you to accept false information. This means you must have received the wrong information from someone else. And I have several reasons to be confident that my crime was never discovered.”

“……”

“Hmm, regression. And the fact that my past self used a regressor as a mailman to send me a letter… That’s very intriguing. Not many people get to experience something this rare in their lifetime.”

This is driving me crazy, for real.

I grabbed a can of coffee from the convenience store shelf and gulped it down. Yoo Jiwon didn’t stop me.

“Consider this can of coffee as payment for the delivery. I’ve delivered the last words, so I’ll be on my way.”

“Ah. Sorry, but could you wait for just 2 minutes? I’ll come with you.”

“What?”

I was taken aback.

When I turned around, Yoo Jiwon was rolling up the national and city maps she’d spread out on the convenience store counter and stuffing them into her trunk.

Just for reference, the most striking piece of decor in this convenience store was the ‘tutorial fairy’ skin. You heard that right. Yoo Jiwon had skinned a fairy and mounted it on the counter wall like some sort of trophy.

I could guarantee that this girl had skinned at least two different types of living creatures.

“Hey, why are you following me? You’ve got plenty of supplies here. Just stay and hold out.”

“That’s a bad plan.”

Yoo Jiwon pushed up her glasses.

“Didn’t the previous version of me end up leaving this place to join your guild? Since I’ll leave eventually, it makes more sense to join you now and rise through the ranks faster.”

“It’s not my guild; it’s Tang Seorin’s guild.”

“Oh, I see. My apologies. Please correct me whenever I make mistakes in the future.”

“No, I mean just don’t follow me. Hey. Hey! I don’t want you around anymore! Get lost!”

But Yoo Jiwon didn’t get lost.

Instead, she clung to me like a parasite. And the host she latched onto was Three Thousand Worlds.

Yoo Jiwon, more fervently than any other guild member, embraced the role of a witch, proving that she not only had the ‘Minimap’ skill but also the ‘Winning Tang Seorin’s Favor’ skill.

“Wow, Vice Guild Master. Where did you find such a cute one?”

[Translator – Asura]

[Proofreader – Gun]

“It’s the honor of three lifetimes, Great Witch.”

“……”

Selected as an early member of Three Thousand Worlds, Yoo Jiwon rose faster and higher than her fifth turn. You could say she really put on a show.

Her official title was Operations Manager, my deputy as Vice Guild Master, and Tang Seorin’s Special Secretary. In short, she solidified her position as the third-in-command in the guild.

Being the third-in-command of the top company in Korea before the apocalypse would be akin to being the third-in-command of the top conglomerate in the pre-apocalyptic world. She had certainly achieved significant success.

However, our silver-haired psychopath, Yoo Jiwon, was someone who didn’t care about others’ evaluations.

“Manager Yoo.”

“Yes, Vice Guild Master.”

“…We’ll be fighting the Ten Clans soon. Shouldn’t we arrange your funeral first?”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, it seems to me that the current version of you is much happier than the previous one. I don’t know what your criteria for happiness are, but wouldn’t this be a satisfactory afterlife?”

“Hmm.”

Hmm, she said. This guy.

This psychopath just looked at the air with a blank expression and said, “Hmm.”

To provide some visual context, her lips formed the exact shape of ‘ω.’

“Vice Guild Master, I had a thought. If I’m happier now in the sixth turn than I was in the fifth, wouldn’t I be even happier in the seventh turn with a pretty good probability?”

“Jiwon, what are you talking about, Jiwon…?”

“Could you please leave a will for the next version of me, urging her to strive for even happier times before holding a funeral…?”

“Hey!”

Now, you can probably see how this episode ends.

That’s right. To cut to the chase, without any need for epilogues, this bastard Yoo Jiwon used me as her personal will deliveryman every single time.

From the sixth turn to the seventh, to the eighth, to the ninth, to the tenth, and to the eleventh.

Whenever I asked her if she was finally happy enough for a funeral, she would always reply,

“Hmm. Don’t you think I’d be a bit happier in the next turn?”

And thus, she endlessly postponed her sealing.

What kind of person does that?

I’ve read countless web novels and encountered numerous protagonists who are infinite regressors, especially after my 550th turn. But I’ve never seen a character use an infinite regressor like this.

And this guy… later on, when the Highway Maintenance Corps was established, she sometimes joined under Noh Doha instead of Tang Seorin.

“This minimap is exactly what our Highway Maintenance Corps needs. Thanks to it, it’s easy to track the location of our members in real-time. Thanks for introducing such a great talent for free, Regressor Jang.”

“……”

A few turns later, Yoo Jiwon smoothly got promoted to the head of the Operations Control Room, just below Noh Doha in the Highway Maintenance Corps.

In the long run, spanning hundreds of years, Yoo Jiwon was genuinely ‘rising through the ranks’ little by little.

From an ordinary guild member to my deputy. From my deputy to the third-in-command of Three Thousand Worlds. Then from an executive in Three Thousand Worlds to a significant figure in the Highway Maintenance Corps.

It was nothing short of a miracle! The living proof of a success story!

I couldn’t begin to fathom how this phenomenon occurred.

Was there a power-hungry monster that kept getting promoted with each turn? Isn’t this truly bizarre?

The most astonishing fact was that this creature, who would stop at nothing for success, had never once betrayed me throughout the 1183 turns.

When I once asked her during a drinking session why she never betrayed me, her answer was astonishing.

“Are you asking if I would ever betray you, Doctor Jang? I would rather die than do that.”

“Why? You’re a psychopath.”

“Please stop being prejudiced against psychopaths. You’re a regressor with perfect memory, so you must store and evaluate every action of everyone. Therefore, I must be cautious and avoid displeasing you in any turn. Isn’t that common sense?”

Yoo Jiwon stared at the full moon in the night sky, holding a clear soju glass. Her eyes looked distant.

“I find it hard to understand why anyone would be foolish enough to betray you. It’s fascinating. Why are so many people so foolish?”

“……”

I truly… don’t understand this girl…

But then again, no one understood Yoo Jiwon as deeply as I did. By the 50th turn, I was certain about one thing regarding Yoo Jiwon.

No matter how many people in the world wanted to receive the time seal, Yoo Jiwon would never accept it.

I once thought she was born in the wrong era.

But I was wrong. This girl would thrive in any era. That remained true even in the apocalypse where civilization had collapsed. You could say she was an optimal survivor for this era.

At this point, half out of a sense of duty and half as a joke, I couldn’t help but ask Yoo Jiwon politely.

“Jiwon.”

“Yes?”

“Are you happy now?”

Just then, a chess piece fell over on the map.

Then my silver-haired deputy, my almost only Three Kingdoms enthusiast and the original member of my regression life, my psychopath friend, would ponder for a moment before responding.

“I think I could be a little happier next time.”

– Promotion. The End.

[Translator – Asura]

[Proofreader – Gun]