Why Did I Become the Villainess?

 Csille opens her eyes, and the sunlight immediately blinded her. She slowly gets up and looks around. Csille frowned when she didn't see anyone inside the room.

 I thought Prince Fraser would take care of me? Talk about taking care. He didn't even wait for me to wake up. He is probably with Princess Paislee now. 

 I sigh and shake my head. "What does it have to do with you if he's with Princess Paislee? Have you forgotten who you are, Ysa?"

 "Who's Ysa?"

 My eyes widen, and I immediately lookup. I see Prince Fraser standing in the doorway of my bathroom with a wet face and hair. 

 Did he take a shower in my bathroom? My eyes start to linger on his body.

 "Who is Ysa? Who are you referring to?"

 I immediately snap into my trance when I heard Prince Fraser's question. How am I supposed to answer that? I cannot tell him I am Ysa. 

 I frantically look around and see the Aster flowers Prince Joachim gave me. An idea pops into my head, and I point my hand to the flower. "I'm talking to the flower. I name her Ysa. It fits her, right?"

 I anxiously hold tight to my blanket. Please, take that excuse. Please. 

 Prince Fraser looks at me for a whole minute before he walks towards the Aster flowers. He touches it and frowns. "This flower looks familiar." Prince Fraser paused to probably think. "Isn't this the flower that Prince Joachim gave you? Why is it inside your room, Csille?" Prince Fraser snaps at me.

 I sigh. Although he didn't get suspicious of what I said, but he gets angry by the flowers. What does the poor flower did you Prince Fraser? It's early in the morning, and the first thing you do is to get mad at me? Have you forgotten I just recovered from a fever? Can you tone down your anger?

 "Prince Fraser, it's just a flower. Why do you need to overreact like that?" 

 Prince Fraser snort at my reply. He then sits beside me and takes my hands. "Csille, how can I not overreact if I know that Prince Joachim is into you? He definitely wants to court you, and I hate that. What right did he have to give you flower?"

 I shake my head at Prince Fraser. "Are we going to talk about this again? How many times I have told you that Prince Joachim is not like that. He definitely knows that we're engaged. Do you think he will be so dumb to do something that will make the Vrawyth Kingdom unhappy? Can you stop these non-sense and leave the flower behind."

 Prince Fraser gasped. He probably couldn't believe what I have said. I admit I am happy knowing he is becoming jealous against Prince Joachim, but that's it. I cannot let him continue this. If anyone else, the one he should get jealous of that is Rufus, and that is not because of me but because of Princess Paislee. When will he understand it? 

 "Csille, this is not nonsense! How can you say it's nonsense? He can ruin our engagement, and you're telling me it's nonsense?" He gasped again.

 I sigh. It's useless to talk to Prince Fraser. He already has a fixed mindset when it comes to Prince Joachim. I quite understand him though, I myself don't feel comfortable when Prince Joachim is around. However, I don't understand why Prince Fraser is so against him. That man is invalid. What's with him that makes Prince Fraser this worked up?

 I take the blanket that is still covering me off myself. It feels so great to feel the fresh air. I didn't have any choice last night but to sleep covered by the think blankets even if I am sweating. 

 And all of those for what? For nothing. In the end, Prince Fraser ends up taking care of me. Why do I always make things difficult for me? 

 Prince Fraser immediately stands up and holds me. One of his arms is supporting my back, and his other is holding my hand. 

 "Where are you going? You just recovered from a high fever, and you're moving around? You should rest first. I already ask the maid to prepare your breakfast."

 I sigh. I tried to push Prince Fraser away, but he wouldn't let me. "I want to go to the bathroom. Can't I? Also, I'm already okay now. I don't need rest. We still have training to do, and I still need to send a letter for Ruler Laird."

 Prince Fraser sigh. He forces me to sit on my bed. He also sits beside me afterward. "You're not okay. Leander told me that maybe it's the weather here and because of the fatigue that's why you got fever. So, after today you cannot tire yourself too much. I also asked leave for you. You don't need to attend the training and about Ruler Laird. I already sent a letter to him. Didn't I tell you that last time? Have you forgotten?" 

 I sigh. Of course, I didn't forget. How can I forget about something important? I'm just making an excuse, okay? "If that's the case, then I'll just go to the bathroom," I break off from his hold and stands up immediately. "Also, why are you still here? You should get back on your training. The Queen will visit us soon. We need to do our best to win this competition. We-"

 I heard Prince Fraser sigh. "You're pushing me away again. I see." He said in a pained voice. I look back and saw him smiling bitterly at me. "I am here because I got so worried about you, Csille. I even didn't get enough sleep because I was worried your fever would come back." Prince Fraser chuckled. But it's an empty chuckle. No happiness nor sadness. "But I guess all I did doesn't even matter to you, right? Because all you ever did is think about your identity."

 I almost cried because of Prince Fraser's words. It's the first time I heard him reproach me like that. He must be disappointed with what I have said to him. He probably thought I didn't appreciate all he did to me. I did. I really do, but I cannot let him know that. 

 I look at Prince Fraser with an expressionless face. "Did I asked you to do that, Prince Fraser? So, why are you talking like I force you to do that? Don't blame me because I didn't ask you to do that. All I ever think is about my identity?" I scoff. "What about you, Fraser? What do you always think, huh?"

 Prince Fraser laughs at me. But it's not the happy laugh. It's more like the sad laugh with disbelief on it. "Csille, are you hearing what you are saying? Yes, you didn't ask me to do that, but I am your fiancé, Csille! Have you forgotten that? I am only doing what I should be doing and-"

 I laugh at Prince Fraser. I'm sorry, Fraser, if I'm hurting you because of the words I have said, and I will say. "But did you ask me if I want that? Do you ask me if I want you to do that? You didn't, right?"

 Prince Fraser shakes his head at me. He probably couldn't believe the words that are coming through my mouth right now. "Csille, why did you become like this? Where is the old Csille I like? What happened to her?"

 I shake my head at Prince Fraser. "She's gone now, Fraser. I'm tired of always being the shadow of everyone. I'm tired of always following you and everyone. All this time, I tried to be the person you all want me to be. But what about me, Fraser? Did someone ask me what I want to be? You told me I am only thinking about myself? Yes, I am! But can you blame me, Fraser? I'm tired. I just want to be me."

 Prince Fraser sigh and walks towards me. I tried to push him away, but he wouldn't budge. He hugs me tightly. He then caresses my back. "I'm sorry if I shout at you the moment you woke up. I just couldn't help but be mad every time you will mention that Prince Joachim. I'm also sorry for blaming you. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry, Csille. Please, don't be mad at me."

 I sigh and try to control my raging heart. How can I push him away if he does this? I am the one who said painful words to him, but he is the one who is saying sorry to me? Prince Fraser, why do you always make things difficult for me? How can I push you if you do this? How can I stop myself from liking you even more?

 I take a deep breath before pushing him away. I avoided his gaze and tried to remember the things I need to say. I need you to hate me, Fraser. I need you to be angry with Csille that you'll be the one who'll push her away.

 I scoff at him. "That's what you are good at, Fraser. Taking the blame even though you know the problem is not you."

 Prince Fraser frown. "Csille, what are you saying? I don't understand you."

 I laugh at him. "You will never understand me because you never tried to understand me. You take the blame so we could stop talking about this. Don't you think that's too noble of you?"

 Prince Fraser tried to take a step from me, but I immediately take a step back. I cannot let him get close to me again, or else I'll lose it again. "What are you saying, Csille. I didn't do that to be noble? I—"

 I scoff at him. "You didn't do that to be noble? Oh, yes, because you do that to get away from the problem. You take the blame so we could finish this conversation and what happened to the problem? It was set aside, Fraser. You take blame not because you understand it but because you just don't want to face it. Do you know that it's the reason why we always have issues with the problems we talk about?"

 Prince Fraser shakes his head. "Csille, I don't understand what you are saying. I didn't take the blame because of that."

 I raised an eyebrow at him. "If you didn't take the blame for that, then why? Why did you take the blame, Fraser, when you know that I also have a problem here? Why?"

 Prince Fraser got silent for a moment. I look at him and sigh. I don't want to say these words to Prince Fraser, but I have no other choice now. I need to end the relationship between the male lead and the villainess. I need to push him away. Even if I become the bad person, well, technically, I am the villainess, so I'll definitely be the bad person in this novel.

 I smirk. "You always did that with our deal and with our conversation about Prince Joachim. Remember our deal? You just said yes because I want you to do that. But what? In the end, you didn't even follow our deal. It's because you always compromise, but you didn't understand what I really want. You just said the word thinking it's enough without even understanding what I really want to happen. It's always like this, Fraser, and I'm tired. Call me selfish, but I don't want this anymore."

 Prince Fraser frowns. I could see panic in his eyes. I'm hurting him...again. 

 I'm sorry, Fraser. I'm really sorry.

 "What do you mean, Csille?" Prince Fraser's voice trembles a little.

 I shake my head at him and avoids his gaze. I could bear to look at his eyes. It hurts me even more. "Let's stop this, Fraser. I want to break off from you."

 Prince Fraser staggers a little. "You cannot break off from me, Csille. Have you forgotten? The King already said his words, and even the Count said yes to it. Only our fathers can cancel our engagement."

 I shake my head at him. "I'm not canceling our engagement. I know I cannot do a thing about it." I paused and sighed. "For now. What I am saying is, I want to break off from any connection I have with you. Let's just forgot I said I like you. Starting from now on. I am just the Count's daughter, and you are the Crown Prince of the Vrawyth Kingdom."

 I didn't wait for his reply. I immediately run away from the room. Leaving Prince Fraser behind.

 I'm sorry, Fraser. Please, forgive me for the pain I have given you. I hope this will be the end for the two of us. Starting from now, you'll be the male lead, and I'll be the villainess. This is what is supposed to happen. This is our destiny.