Chapter 124 - : Losers
I run inside Rufus' room. Among all the people in this world, only with Rufus do I feel comfortable.
I didn't find him inside his room, so I just slump on his bed and cry my heart out. I'm sure Prince Fraser wouldn't dare to follow me. After what I have said to him? I doubt if he would follow me.
I cried for almost an hour before the door opens. I didn't bother to look who's the person because I'm pretty sure it's Rufus. I just continue crying my heart out while sobbing.
"Csille?" I heard Rufus called me. I just waved my hand at him and continue crying.
"What happened? Why are you crying inside my room?" Rufus asked worriedly.
He walked towards the bed and sat beside me. I just shake my head at him as a response. What will I tell him? Should I tell him that I break off with Prince Fraser? Wouldn't he get mad at me because of that? He's still the cousin of Prince Fraser, and blood is thicker than water.
I heard Rufus sigh. "Okay, I wouldn't ask what happened. Just cry your heart out. I'm just here for you, okay?"
I nod my head at him and continue crying. I'm thankful that Rufus is older than Csille. At least he is more matured and doesn't force me to talk. At least he knows the word privacy.
"I'll be taking a bath. Don't peek, okay. Although you are my friend, I wouldn't allow that."
I take a pillow and throw it at him. Rufus just laughs at me. I heard a door open and close. I also heard that the shower was turned on. I look at the closed door and sigh.
I get up from the bed and stare at the mirror. I look like a mess. I'm still wearing the thick set of clothing Rufus gave me last night. My hair is still a mess because I just wake up, and I didn't get the chance to fix myself.
My eyes are swollen because of crying for almost an hour. My face is red because I feel stuff with how thick my clothing is. How did I face Prince Fraser looking like this?
"You look like a mess," Rufus said with a smirk on his face.
I almost jump because I was startled by Rufus. I stare back at him and pout. "Can't you see I'm broken hearted, and you still got the guts to tease me? You're really the cousin of him."
I walk to his bed and slump my body on it. My mind is exhausted. After I came back from the Kosmo Metaxy, I feel like I've been carrying this world on my shoulders. The life and death of this world depend on my hand. And with just one wrong move, it can cause the death of all people here. What you did is right, Ysavel. Eventually, Prince Fraser will find his happiness with Princess Paislee, so you don't need to worry about him.
"Are you okay, Csille? You mentioned you're broken hearted? How come? My cousin is head over heels for you. I doubt that." I feel Rufus sit beside me.
I get up from lying on the bed and snap at him. "Can we not talk about that man. I feel frustrated just by merely mentioning his name." I squint my eyes at him. "Also, aren't we forgetting something here, Rufus?"
Rufus frowns at me. He then avoids his gaze. I knew it! Once Rufus avoids his gaze, it means he is guilty of something. I slap his arms. It's not that hard, though. Enough for him to wince a little. Rufus frowns even more at me. "What do you mean? I didn't forget something here, okay?"
I cross my arms at him and sigh. "Why did you let that Crown Prince took care of me for the whole night? You know that I did that to avoid him, right? But why did you let him? I endure all of that yesterday because I wanted to avoid him, but what happened? In the end, he takes care of me. Why did it turn like that? Don't you have some explaining to do, Rufus?"
Rufus scratches his nape. "What do you want me to do, purplany? You know I couldn't go against my cousin. I tried to volunteer to take care of you, but he even gets madder at me. Do you know how much he yelled at me yesterday?" Rufus grumbles.
I sigh. I'm sure Prince Fraser got mad at him, and I'm sure Rufus did his best not to make Prince Fraser takes care of me. He's right. What can he do against Prince Fraser? Even I sometimes couldn't do anything if it's about Prince Fraser. "But you could have at least warn me. Do you know how shocked I was when the first thing I saw when I woke up is him? I almost want to throw a pillow on his face."
Rufus looks at me and smirk. "I know you can do that. Only you can do that, and Prince Fraser would let you off," Prince Fraser shakes his head. He then looks at me. "Didn't you said, you're heartbroken? What happened? Did you two fought each other again?" Rufus sigh. "I told you, Csille. You should stop what you are doing. It's just futile."
I pout at him and cover his mouth. "I know what you are going to say, but can you let me talk first?"
Rufus nods his head. I take my hand away from his mouth. I sigh. "I break off with him."
Rufus almost falls on the floor with what I said. It's a good thing he holds on to the blanket. "You what?" He snaps at me.
I rolled my eyes at him. Why does he make it sounds like what I said is unbelievable? Prince Fraser isn't supposed to with Csille in the first place. "I said, I broke up with him?
This time, Rufus really falls on the floor. "I must be insane." Rufus laughs and looks at me. "Can you believe I heard you say you broke off with Prince Fraser?" Rufus laughs again. "I must be going insane."
I rolled my eyes at Rufus and flicked his forehead. He immediately looks at me and pouts. "Why do you flick my forehead? It hurts."
I shake my head at him. I don't understand how come he is the cousin of Prince Fraser. Their personalities are really far off from each other. "What you heard is true. I really broke up with Prince Fraser."
Rufus gape at me for a couple of minutes before he shakes his head. He sits on the bed beside me. "Why did you do that, Csille? Why did you break up with him? Also, how can you break up with him? Didn't the King and the Count have a deal about this?"
I sigh. What should I tell him? Should I tell him I am the reason why I broke up with him? "I just think we're becoming too toxic to each other, so I decided to cut it off. And about the deal between the King and the Count, what does it have to do with me?" I shrugged my shoulders.
Rufus looks at me like he couldn't believe what I have said. "You what? You broke up with him because you think it's becoming too toxic for the two of you? But why did you cry like Prince Fraser is the one who broke up with you? Also, what do you mean it doesn't have anything to do with you? Are you insane, Csille? Can you disobey the King's order?"
I smile at him. I'm pretty sure I'm not the one who will break off our engagement so, why would I worry about that? Prince Fraser is the one who needs to deal with it. So, I'm not the one who will break the King's order.
"Why? I'm also hurt, okay? Do you think it's easy to break off with Prince Fraser? It's not, okay? I just don't have any other choice. Only if I have any other choice," I smile bitterly. If only I have a choice, I wouldn't want to hurt him, but I don't have any other option. I'll just be happy for him even if his happiness is not me.
Rufus frown. I whispered the last words. I don't want Rufus to hear it. I don't want him to know that I did it because I have no other choice. "What did you said? Why are you whispering?"
I shake my head at him. "You don't need to worry about that. Why are you worrying about the future where in fact, we still have a lot of problems we need to face in the present."
"That's the thing, Csille! We are already facing many problems currently, and now you decided to add another problem for yourself?"
I just shrugged my shoulders at him. I don't want to talk about Prince Fraser. I feel better since I am talking to someone now, but I still feel in pain every time I remember the dumbest and the best thing I have done as Csille Lauretré.
It's for the sake of all people, Ysavel. Just bear with it. Everything's going to be okay. Just trust the process, and it will definitely be okay.
"What are you doing here, Rufus?" I look at the clock hanging on the wall. "It's just ten in the morning. Isn't this too early for your training to be finished?"
Rufus looks at me and shakes his head. "You're avoiding it. Csille, sooner or later, you will need to face it. So, you, avoiding this is actually futile." He slumps on the bed. "I take half a day's leave because I was worried about you. I know something will happen to the two of you again. And look what you have become? I thought you would be mad at each other. I didn't expect you will break off with him. You are my friend, Csille, but sometimes I feel like I don't know you anymore."
I smile bitterly at him. It's because I am not the real Csille, Rufus. I am Ysavel Vhahos, the writer and the reason why this world is existing.
I lay beside him and close my eyes. "People change Rufus. So, do you. Look how much you change throughout the years. I'm not the only one who changed Rufus. Even you. Even Prince Fraser. Gone the innocence. Gone the childishness. We need to face it, Rufus. Sooner or later, we will not even recognize our own selves because of the changes that happened to us, and it's inevitable."
Rufus sigh. "I miss the old us. It's much peaceful when we were young. I remember how much the three of us, Prince Fraser, you and I love to play at the Palace Garden. We would spend our day in their garden without worries. But now, look at us? We're changing."
I close my eyes. "It's for the better, Rufus. Changing for the betterment of everyone."
Rufus chuckled. "I hope we're really changing for the better, Csille. because why do I feel like we're changing for the worst?"
For the worst? I want to laugh at Rufus. The worst isn't even starting. He should see how the worst looks like in this novel.
I pity Csille and Rufus. Csille was left behind at the sideline because Prince Fraser falls in love with someone else. While Rufus, who is the forgotten Prince of the Vrawyth, was also set aside because of the existence of Prince Fraser. Prince Fraser who is always better at everything. Even the person he loves will be taken by Prince Fraser from him. How awful it is to be Rufus?
I smile bitterly. What's this? The group of people who are losers? Loser in life and loser in love life. I laugh at my own thinking. Maybe I should make Rufus and Csille end up together? They deserve to be happy too.